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[tragichoneypie]

i wish i havent been talking to my dad so much about politics. because it's starting to make me doubt myself, which is exactly why i dont want to live here anymore. because everything here makes you doubt. they just hate and discourage things and thats the only reason they do things. they're rich because they dont want to be poor. they have war

Comments

[tragichoneypie]

well, for a president whos had ratings lower than thirty percent it seems to me your not the idiot. i donno though......... fucking hell. thats why i keep telling you about things i hear and people i meet here, to let you know that, although i understand that your paretns are very educated and honest poeple, its just very simple that most educators are democrats, i dont know i dont even want to get started on that. you better fucking not doubt yoruself is all im saying. i know what it feels like to feel like what you are saying is just bullshit and washing over poeple, cuz i feel like that in class. but then i take a step back and realize that i never wanted to be a cheerleader, i never worried about being popular, i never worried about being as rich as possible, i dont know. i was reading a book on a native american societ and the fact is, 98 percent of americans couldnt handle half the lifestyle that goes into actually living. like if you were set down on an island. seriously. like you said, you shouldnt feel dumb for looking for

[tragichoneypie]

goddam/ one last thing: clothing. i look at people wearing american eagle, we used to wear american eagle, i look at people with running shoes on, i used to do that when i was young, i look at people wearing there hair pulled way back and walking all awkward, i used to do that, i look at people wearing there makeup nice and nice necklaces, i used to do that too. i dont know, i guess im still playing with how i want to present myself but i just feel like we've gone past a lot of the stages people are still stuck in. there was a time in our lives we could have dated cool, bad ass guys, married and had two kids, divorced and become accountants. or even gotten married at nineteen and then divorced the abusive bastard and become teachers, but i dont think either of us are still in that stage. i think thats what happened to my dad. he is not an american, i dont know, i of course could be wrong, but i just feel like if one searches for beauty and truth and justice, culminating knowledge and experience, we can be only moving forward, right?

[tragichoneypie]

mysterious, yes. exactly all i need.

thats the saddest part about my mind right now though, i dont notice beauty nearly as much as i used to. and when i do i dont even care very much. i hope it's my messed up mind and not just growing up.

[tragichoneypie]

no no. i dont think its to do with growing up. just realize the things we were told about aging is very very relevant to this generation and place. and very very different from most. unfortunatley. fuck.. but like i said hippies were born in the 50s so whateva imagination will come around when you are in the right ENVIRONMENT for it. i think is why sc so weird, its the fog, forest, ocean. native americans knew about spirituality, they knew where spirits wehre strong, and this was a fucking sacred burial ground. meanwhile, we are told if you talk about spirits that you are crazy. fucking americans