Deeper // poetry
I wrote this yesterday...just kind of came to me.
The first line was going to be a tweet, in fact, and the rest just spilled out.
If I get some time, I may go into iMovie and add all the words to the video one day, but I got impatient...
Comments and critiques welcomed.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't called to believe deeper than the rest.
This test so intense, immense envy intently observing these people,
who flock to these steeples, so certain their Maker's a man on a throne.
All alone, I'm evading their trembling eyes,
I'm jaded by stumbling lies of the powers I trusted,
if my faith was so easily busted by human error
then how can a single prayer from my faulty lips change anything?
Broken: a term tossed loosely among us
but the breath in my lungs is but stale hot wind.
I have sinned and while peasants and preachers know not what they do
I comprehend and fend off these demons and diamonds that glitter and growl,
filling my ears and my eyes with temptation of all shape and size.
Cornered on corners by crackpots and crackheads:
Spare me a dollar
Spare me some change
Spare me and change me their voices all raise
and I fear my own mirror when into their cups I toss Washingtons,
but my Jackson is destined pressed into tins as tips for bartenders.
As I climb and I slide and I look to the sky
spying for faintest and foggiest footholds,
I unearth such strength as I ponder at length
the journey and journals it's taken to get here.
My struggle is chronic;
no tonic to ease this unceasing questioning mystic
filled to the mouth by the doubt of a half-dozen Thomases.
Yet onward I press, I guess underestimated.
Peers peering from both sides of this line that I toe.
Undertow underfoot, I carefully I put one foot in front of the other...
equally laden, bade by burdens of realms both scene and unseen.
My limbs have grown limber in limbo,
able and agile, I edge down the aisle,indulging my wiles near the flame.
But I flit without searing yet fearing impending upending this dual-citizenship.
Formed to fiercely fight this fire whose sire entices me to roll the dice once more.
Forced to choose course of promotion of self or selflessness,
each deliberation perfecting the portioning off of my soul.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't called to believe deeper than the rest.
This test so intense, immense envy intently observing these people,
who flock to these steeples, so certain their Maker's a man on a throne.