Wish it could have been different

[trancegeminii]

Im finding myself increasingly depressed as it gets closer to Christmas. I balk at Christmas because I simply don't believe in what it stands for. I have absoulutely no desire to celebrate yule logs, the winter solstice, or some imaginary baby in the sky, so the whole idea of spending so much money on a day I don't even believe in seems, in

Comments

[flightofscarlet]

Most of all I miss the memories I DONT actually have, of my family, all of us together, sitting around a fire with candied nuts and hot chocolate, happy and loving.

*sigh* I miss those too.
Although I had a large family (5 girls) we did NOT have these loving memories. My favorite xmas/holiday memory is getting heat in our bedroom on xmas eve...

http://flightofscarlet.livejournal.com/2005/12/25/

[trancegeminii]

*hugs* To new memories.

[reignwaterburns]

i've learned over the past few years that it's worse to ignore christmas than acknowledge it. this is the first year since i was a child that i've had a real christmas tree and i absolutely love it. we didn't have money to buy ornaments so it just has lights and garland. it's very pagan-looking, i don't prescribe to any certain religion so i just wanted natural-looking things.

i understand what you mean about your family. my parents divorced when i was twelve and then my mom moved us away when i was fifteen, basically severing my relationship with my dad. then my mom died three years ago, and i'm mostly celebrating xmas in her honor since it was her favorite holiday. there are no "family moments" in my life anymore, but i still enjoy the decorating and the baking and the giving, and cherishing the dear friends that i do have!

[angry_chick]

*hugs you*

Don't I know it. Times get pretty hard for me around this time too - I lost my dad around this time. This is the second Christmas without him calling me.

Christmas is difficult for many people whose familial situation, financial situations, etc. don't fit into that perfect "Sitting on our asses drinking eggnog and singing characters while the Jolly Old Fat Man comes to our house."