FIC: Super Junior, 5-H-1-T
Title: 5-H-1-T
Fandom:
Pairing:
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1700
Summary: There is only one rule. Heechul never works before eleven.
Notes: Hospital AU. Minor swearing. Yes, I have been watching too much House. I cannot help it.
The minute Heechul walks through the convenient sliding doors, it’s almost as if he is wearing a sign that says, very clearly, Doctor. This is not possible, since he isn’t even wearing the required white coat, the one that has been stashed in the bottom drawer of his desk for the past... Actually, it’s been there since he was hired.
Patients flock at him, but he is already in the elevator by the time any of them manage to react, his finger jammed on the ‘Close Door’ button, and an unpleasant smirk on his face. When he finally reaches his floor, the doors slide open to reveal Park Jungsu, Hospital Administrator, and slave driver extraordinaire. The nickname may have something to do with Heechul’s obvious disinterest in working for more than three hours. Before he is able to receive the file of whatever patient Jungsu is trying to unload on him, he flags over his subordinate, and shoves him into the file.
“Jungsu, I believe you’ve met Hankyung, he does the same thing I do, with a lesser title, and a Chinese accent. I think he’ll manage.” Having successfully avoided that bullet, Heechul finds himself in his office, all glass walls, and curtains to hide the fact that the doctor is in. Unfortunately, he also finds Cho Kyuhyun in his office.
“Why don’t you have any fun games on your computer?” he asks around a mouthful of something gross looking. There is a can of soda sitting beside Heechul’s keyboard, and he wants to smack himself to make sure that Kyuhyun is actually there, because that would mean he’d broken in.
“How the hell did you get in here? And how did you know the password?” Both stupid questions, because Kyuhyun is friends with the janitor on that particular floor, and probably bribed him into unlocking the door. “And don’t you have your own department to run?”
“The janitor was nice enough to let me in to grab my coat. Your password is easy to guess. I mean, Hankyung hasn’t even known you four months, and I’m sure he could guess it.” Heechul knows for a fact that Kyuhyun didn’t leave his coat in the room, because he never wore a coat. Kyuhyun forks another bite of whatever he was eating into his mouth, and returns to beating the computer at hearts. “They’re doing fine without me. I left Sungmin in charge.”
“Sungmin is a neurologist! How is he going to do anything other than prove how much smarter than you he is? You, get out of my chair and go tell someone that they have terminal cancer. I know you enjoy it.” Kyuhyun listens, only because Heechul looks like he might put the paging system to good use, but before he’s out the door, he realizes he’s missing something, and that Heechul is already drinking it.
Now that the office is empty, Heechul prepares to pick up where Kyuhyun left off in hearts, at least until Jungsu comes in to berate him for something. Unfortunately, Jungsu decides that right then would be a good time to do this, and walks into the office like it is his own.
“You need to stop making Hankyung do all the work.” Outside the open door, Heechul can see the files that are beginning to pile up, and smiles. “No, I am serious. I didn’t hire him so that you could spend the day playing solitaire.”
The phone begins to ring, and he looks properly put out, shooting Jungsu a look that clearly says, ‘This could be a confidential phone call’ and he answers.
“Good morning.” His professional tone seems to convince Jungsu that he should leave, just in case, so he does, but not before telling Heechul that unless he has seen at least two patients by lunch, there won’t be lunch.
“Why the fuck do you sound so professional? I know you have caller ID. Was Jungsu in with you again?”
“You say that like it happens all the time, Kibum. It doesn’t, just so that you know. Couldn’t you come up here and give him some of your fancy sleeping gases?” What Heechul wouldn’t give for a few hours of being able to do nothing without fear of being caught doing absolutely nothing.
“Unfortunately, Donghae needs one of his clients sedated. Apparently they’re...”
“Yeah, whatever. Craziest person in the hospital just happens be diagnosing others. Have fun. Let me know if they actually needed the drugs, or if he just wanted them off his case.” He hangs up, and realizes he didn’t actually find out why Kibum was calling so early in the morning. He calls the receptionist, and asks if there are any files that need to be charted.
---
An hour later, Hankyung is in his office wondering why he suddenly had so many files to complete. The phone starts ringing again, from the clinic on the first floor, and Heechul shoots it a quick glare.
“How does he always know where you are?”
“I’m sure that whoever it is, is phoning for you. Professional medical reasons, I hope, but I’m sure it is just as likely to be you’re new shipment of porn.” All of this is said like Hankyung doesn’t know who is on the phone, but Heechul isn’t convinced, because only one person phones the Department of Diagnostics from the clinic. Hankyung makes a quick exit, waving a file like it explains everything.
“Heechul, give me Hankyung.” There is nothing quite like a pissed of Siwon. Heechul just isn’t sure what he did to piss him off this time. “I need a diagnostician, I emailed you, left a voicemail, and...”
“And this is a hospital. There are diagnosticians on every floor. What the hell do you want with mine?” There was grumbling on the other side of the line, and then it went dead.
Ten seconds later, Siwon’s voice rang out over the page system, “Dr. Han Geng to the clinic.” Heechul was already running towards the elevators, because Hankyung had a head start, and jumped down the stairs. He was not letting Hankyung be sucked into clinic duty, unless it was to work his hours.
“Unfortunately, you are too late.” The snap of a rubber glove coming off and being tossed in the garbage prompted him to look to his left. “He just went in, and Siwon already has him in his clutches.” Youngwoon was, in most people’s opinion, the luckiest doctor in the hospital. Most men envied him his job, and the women assumed it meant he was intelligent. Youngwoon was a gynecologist. According to him however, his job sucked; it made him never want to see another naked woman in all his life.
“What are you doing in the clinic?” Heechul asked, still a little short of breath, but mostly able to stand without leaning on anything. “Another pregnancy test? Did you tell her horror stories?”
“She was seventeen. She didn’t need any horror stories. Asked what her ‘options’ were the minute I said it was positive. Like I don’t know what that means.” Youngwoon followed him into the elevator, and grinned. “Is Kyuhyun still being a terror?”
“Better question. Is Kyuhyun ever not being a terror?” Both rolled their eyes in tandem, and Heechul’s beeper went off. His office phone was paging him, which meant that either Kyuhyun was there, or Sungmin was. He left Youngwoon in the elevator, and headed towards his office, where he found both waiting. “Holy shit, what did you do to your hair?”
Sungmin’s normally black hair was now violently pink. This was either some kind of... No. It was definitely another bet the two had going on, and judging by the look on Kyuhyun’s face, he was losing.
“I’ve been hit on seven times, only once by a patient and Kyuhyun still refuses to admit I can pull off any hair style.” There is a moment where Heechul tries to decide who he wants to side with and decides that he really can’t lie about this, because Sungmin already knows the answer.
“I’m sorry, but he’s right. It looks good on him, once you get used to the fact that he has pink hair. What did you guys bet?” Another thought struck him. “And what did Donghae say? ‘Get the fuck out of my house, until your hair is a normal color?’” It is a feeble impression of the psychologist, but Sungmin cracks up anyways.
“Something like that. If I win I get to...”
“Unnecessary information. Have you seen any patients yet?” Heechul shakes his head, and Kyuhyun grins. It isn’t until Jungsu shows up in his office ten minutes later that Heechul realizes why Kyuhyun wanted to know. He takes the file, skims it quickly, and goes in to deal with a case of the common cold. He decides that he hates Kyuhyun as the woman tries to get him to change his mind so she can take a week off of work.
---
He gets through three more patients, each with a simple diagnosis, and pages Hankyung five times. Unfortunately, when Hankyung does show up, it is with Siwon, who looks positively gleeful.
“What the fuck are you grinning about?” Heechul snaps, scribbling down file notes.
“It’s five o’clock. The evening shift has arrived.” Heechul jumps up, forgetting all about the fact that he has at least two more hours worth of paperwork, and throws on his coat. The three of them, now back to being friends, instead of rivals, make a quick stop on the third floor to grab Ryeowook, who is in the middle of writing a very boring paper on how common ADHD is in children under ten, and loiter in admitting.
It takes a whole five minutes for the rest of their group to file out. Heechul suggests a new bar, since they’ve been going to the same one for the past three years, but the only one for this suggestion is Jongwoon, who doesn’t actually care, as long as they are in a bar within half an hour.
They end up in the same old bar, being the same old idiots, and the bartender still hasn’t figured out that they are some of the most respected doctors in their respective fields.
Fandom:
Pairing:
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1700
Summary: There is only one rule. Heechul never works before eleven.
Notes: Hospital AU. Minor swearing. Yes, I have been watching too much House. I cannot help it.
The minute Heechul walks through the convenient sliding doors, it’s almost as if he is wearing a sign that says, very clearly, Doctor. This is not possible, since he isn’t even wearing the required white coat, the one that has been stashed in the bottom drawer of his desk for the past... Actually, it’s been there since he was hired.
Patients flock at him, but he is already in the elevator by the time any of them manage to react, his finger jammed on the ‘Close Door’ button, and an unpleasant smirk on his face. When he finally reaches his floor, the doors slide open to reveal Park Jungsu, Hospital Administrator, and slave driver extraordinaire. The nickname may have something to do with Heechul’s obvious disinterest in working for more than three hours. Before he is able to receive the file of whatever patient Jungsu is trying to unload on him, he flags over his subordinate, and shoves him into the file.
“Jungsu, I believe you’ve met Hankyung, he does the same thing I do, with a lesser title, and a Chinese accent. I think he’ll manage.” Having successfully avoided that bullet, Heechul finds himself in his office, all glass walls, and curtains to hide the fact that the doctor is in. Unfortunately, he also finds Cho Kyuhyun in his office.
“Why don’t you have any fun games on your computer?” he asks around a mouthful of something gross looking. There is a can of soda sitting beside Heechul’s keyboard, and he wants to smack himself to make sure that Kyuhyun is actually there, because that would mean he’d broken in.
“How the hell did you get in here? And how did you know the password?” Both stupid questions, because Kyuhyun is friends with the janitor on that particular floor, and probably bribed him into unlocking the door. “And don’t you have your own department to run?”
“The janitor was nice enough to let me in to grab my coat. Your password is easy to guess. I mean, Hankyung hasn’t even known you four months, and I’m sure he could guess it.” Heechul knows for a fact that Kyuhyun didn’t leave his coat in the room, because he never wore a coat. Kyuhyun forks another bite of whatever he was eating into his mouth, and returns to beating the computer at hearts. “They’re doing fine without me. I left Sungmin in charge.”
“Sungmin is a neurologist! How is he going to do anything other than prove how much smarter than you he is? You, get out of my chair and go tell someone that they have terminal cancer. I know you enjoy it.” Kyuhyun listens, only because Heechul looks like he might put the paging system to good use, but before he’s out the door, he realizes he’s missing something, and that Heechul is already drinking it.
Now that the office is empty, Heechul prepares to pick up where Kyuhyun left off in hearts, at least until Jungsu comes in to berate him for something. Unfortunately, Jungsu decides that right then would be a good time to do this, and walks into the office like it is his own.
“You need to stop making Hankyung do all the work.” Outside the open door, Heechul can see the files that are beginning to pile up, and smiles. “No, I am serious. I didn’t hire him so that you could spend the day playing solitaire.”
The phone begins to ring, and he looks properly put out, shooting Jungsu a look that clearly says, ‘This could be a confidential phone call’ and he answers.
“Good morning.” His professional tone seems to convince Jungsu that he should leave, just in case, so he does, but not before telling Heechul that unless he has seen at least two patients by lunch, there won’t be lunch.
“Why the fuck do you sound so professional? I know you have caller ID. Was Jungsu in with you again?”
“You say that like it happens all the time, Kibum. It doesn’t, just so that you know. Couldn’t you come up here and give him some of your fancy sleeping gases?” What Heechul wouldn’t give for a few hours of being able to do nothing without fear of being caught doing absolutely nothing.
“Unfortunately, Donghae needs one of his clients sedated. Apparently they’re...”
“Yeah, whatever. Craziest person in the hospital just happens be diagnosing others. Have fun. Let me know if they actually needed the drugs, or if he just wanted them off his case.” He hangs up, and realizes he didn’t actually find out why Kibum was calling so early in the morning. He calls the receptionist, and asks if there are any files that need to be charted.
---
An hour later, Hankyung is in his office wondering why he suddenly had so many files to complete. The phone starts ringing again, from the clinic on the first floor, and Heechul shoots it a quick glare.
“How does he always know where you are?”
“I’m sure that whoever it is, is phoning for you. Professional medical reasons, I hope, but I’m sure it is just as likely to be you’re new shipment of porn.” All of this is said like Hankyung doesn’t know who is on the phone, but Heechul isn’t convinced, because only one person phones the Department of Diagnostics from the clinic. Hankyung makes a quick exit, waving a file like it explains everything.
“Heechul, give me Hankyung.” There is nothing quite like a pissed of Siwon. Heechul just isn’t sure what he did to piss him off this time. “I need a diagnostician, I emailed you, left a voicemail, and...”
“And this is a hospital. There are diagnosticians on every floor. What the hell do you want with mine?” There was grumbling on the other side of the line, and then it went dead.
Ten seconds later, Siwon’s voice rang out over the page system, “Dr. Han Geng to the clinic.” Heechul was already running towards the elevators, because Hankyung had a head start, and jumped down the stairs. He was not letting Hankyung be sucked into clinic duty, unless it was to work his hours.
“Unfortunately, you are too late.” The snap of a rubber glove coming off and being tossed in the garbage prompted him to look to his left. “He just went in, and Siwon already has him in his clutches.” Youngwoon was, in most people’s opinion, the luckiest doctor in the hospital. Most men envied him his job, and the women assumed it meant he was intelligent. Youngwoon was a gynecologist. According to him however, his job sucked; it made him never want to see another naked woman in all his life.
“What are you doing in the clinic?” Heechul asked, still a little short of breath, but mostly able to stand without leaning on anything. “Another pregnancy test? Did you tell her horror stories?”
“She was seventeen. She didn’t need any horror stories. Asked what her ‘options’ were the minute I said it was positive. Like I don’t know what that means.” Youngwoon followed him into the elevator, and grinned. “Is Kyuhyun still being a terror?”
“Better question. Is Kyuhyun ever not being a terror?” Both rolled their eyes in tandem, and Heechul’s beeper went off. His office phone was paging him, which meant that either Kyuhyun was there, or Sungmin was. He left Youngwoon in the elevator, and headed towards his office, where he found both waiting. “Holy shit, what did you do to your hair?”
Sungmin’s normally black hair was now violently pink. This was either some kind of... No. It was definitely another bet the two had going on, and judging by the look on Kyuhyun’s face, he was losing.
“I’ve been hit on seven times, only once by a patient and Kyuhyun still refuses to admit I can pull off any hair style.” There is a moment where Heechul tries to decide who he wants to side with and decides that he really can’t lie about this, because Sungmin already knows the answer.
“I’m sorry, but he’s right. It looks good on him, once you get used to the fact that he has pink hair. What did you guys bet?” Another thought struck him. “And what did Donghae say? ‘Get the fuck out of my house, until your hair is a normal color?’” It is a feeble impression of the psychologist, but Sungmin cracks up anyways.
“Something like that. If I win I get to...”
“Unnecessary information. Have you seen any patients yet?” Heechul shakes his head, and Kyuhyun grins. It isn’t until Jungsu shows up in his office ten minutes later that Heechul realizes why Kyuhyun wanted to know. He takes the file, skims it quickly, and goes in to deal with a case of the common cold. He decides that he hates Kyuhyun as the woman tries to get him to change his mind so she can take a week off of work.
---
He gets through three more patients, each with a simple diagnosis, and pages Hankyung five times. Unfortunately, when Hankyung does show up, it is with Siwon, who looks positively gleeful.
“What the fuck are you grinning about?” Heechul snaps, scribbling down file notes.
“It’s five o’clock. The evening shift has arrived.” Heechul jumps up, forgetting all about the fact that he has at least two more hours worth of paperwork, and throws on his coat. The three of them, now back to being friends, instead of rivals, make a quick stop on the third floor to grab Ryeowook, who is in the middle of writing a very boring paper on how common ADHD is in children under ten, and loiter in admitting.
It takes a whole five minutes for the rest of their group to file out. Heechul suggests a new bar, since they’ve been going to the same one for the past three years, but the only one for this suggestion is Jongwoon, who doesn’t actually care, as long as they are in a bar within half an hour.
They end up in the same old bar, being the same old idiots, and the bartender still hasn’t figured out that they are some of the most respected doctors in their respective fields.