The Toy That Would Not Die [Open, Silliness]

[i_sell_drugs]

"Wee-tah-kah-loo-loo..."

Howard was too young to catch the Furby craze in 1999, but he sure knows about them from Youtube videos of them being used in prank calls. What he didn't realize was that the off-switch was either impossible to find or non-existent. So it was with mild curiosity and, as is turns out, crushing naivete that he picked it up

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[haruno]

Sakura strolls into Med Bay like she owns the place.

She doesn't, but it's nice to sometimes pretend there's a place you're comfortable enough with to stroll in like you own it, even if you've never made it to the opposite side. Yet.

One of these days...

Howard's around, a sight she's both used to and almost happy with by now, though he looks like he's searching for something. "Lose something?"

[i_sell_drugs]

Howard's too distracted to even comment on Sakura's confident swagger, although he certainly would have tried to knock her down a peg if he were in the right headspace to notice.

"There's a goddamn Furby in here and I have to kill it. Unless you can find the off-switch. Please find the off-switch." He brandishes a Nerf gun at the Furby, laying on its side and cooing in the middle of the room, blinking dolefully. "Do you have a hammer?"

[haruno]

"I don't generally carry a hammer on me, no." Forestalling an awkward conversation in favor of another one! Sakura has no idea what a furby is, let alone how to find an off-switch for this mysterious beast. She does, however, soon know what one looks like.

"Wait. That thing?" Moving over to the terrible creature in question, she bites back a laugh. "Is this out of your toy box too?" She watches it blink.

[i_sell_drugs]

"Don't let your guard down. That thing right there is the single most annoying creation mankind ever came up with. Also, it's creepy," he whines, knowing exactly how silly he sounds. "Yeah, it came out of the toy box."

The Furby blinks slowly at Sakura. Its impact from the throw seems to have knocked one of its eyes loose, so it's now wall-eyed.

[haruno]

Sakura picks up the Furby, and it responds by clacking it's beak at her and saying something unfit for most audiences.

She looks over at Howard, seriously unimpressed. "Out of the toy box?" When it says things like this?!

[i_sell_drugs]

"I didn't teach it that," he says quickly. "I think it's possessed. Now will you please help me kill it? I can't get any work done without it propositioning me or babbling nonsense at me or staring at me with those creepy murder eyes."

He pauses. "For the record, I did try to take out the batteries. I think the thing's made of titanium or something."

[haruno]

"Wait, so the batteries are still in it, or it's talking even without the batteries." Sakura gingerly sets the Furby back down on a stable surface. Kill seems like a misnomer -- what kind of AI does this thing have?

[i_sell_drugs]

"It might not have batteries. That would explain why I couldn't remove them. Which means it might be fueled by pure malevolence. Yay. Ideas?"

[haruno]

"I guess I could do a second check for an off switch." She looks like she doesn't think she'll find one. "To be honest, if you didn't find one, I don't think I'll have much better luck."

She frowns, taking a step back. The Furby mutters some gibberish, ears moving in a manner perhaps meant to be endearing. "I'd say smash it, but the parts might actually be usable for someone over in Engineering. Maybe call one of them up to take it away?"

[i_sell_drugs]

"Honestly, I don't think I could sleep knowing this thing is still out there. Not that I sleep much anyway, but still," he says, not entirely joking. That Furby's really getting under his skin.

"Furby hungry," the Furby says, clicking its beak. Good luck finding an off switch on this one, Sakura.

[haruno]

The off switch was looking like it should be her fist. "You know what they say about sleep deprivation," she says, not finishing what they potentially could say.

She reaches over the Furby, and brings her hand down. Palm flat.

The Furby shudders something awful, but aside from a few grinding noises, doesn't appear affected. "Hungry hungry hungry shut-up mommy's trying to make bzzzzzt."

[i_sell_drugs]

"I have two jobs, Cherrybomb. I can't afford to lose more of my six hours to thinking I'm going to wake up and find that thing hunched over my nightstand staring at me. Probably laughing."

He gets an excited look at Sakura's solution, then his face falls as the Furby seems to have just gotten weirder and more upsetting.

"Furby hungry. Kidney donation," the Furby says, to which Howard just throws his hands up in an expression of bafflement.

"What do we do?"

[haruno]

"I might be able to pull it's voicebox out. Assuming it has one." She eyes it speculatively. "Then it could only loom."

A minor improvement.

"By all rights, something should have broken after that." Yet here it is, mostly intact. "Try stomping?"

[i_sell_drugs]

"We could pluck its eyes out." Although, on second thought, that might be a worse idea. "Go for it. Stomp it to pieces. I'll happily get rid of the corpse."

[haruno]

"Wee-tah-kah-loo-loo! Tell me a joke!" Furby chatters and opens its mouth. With no immediate response, it closes again, waiting.

Sakura is happy to attempt obliging Howard when the little furball comes out with, "Legs! Legs! Word of day!" Flapping its ears and clacking its mouth, trying to blink but failing, it finishes with a grand, "Spread it!"

Sakura stiffens, the connective logic of those words setting in.

Then she decks the Furby across Medical. There's a satisfying crunch as it hits the far wall, but the little bugger hasn't given up the fight yet. (Whatever that fight might be.)

[ronnae]

Ronnae ducks just in time as the toy flies right over her head. She looks at the twitching toy besides her a few moments before picking it up with a frown and standing up, looking towards Sakura and Howard.

"Not havin' fun with your toys? You could always give it to some of the kidlets running around you know..."

"Woopie~! Hah hah tickle... woppie! Hnn tickle... Again!" Ronnae looks to the squirming toy in her hand curiously before walking over to the other two and setting the thing down on the table.

"Okay, I think I prefer my battlebots, or clockwork bots better..."