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amateur porn star Sam transfixeddream March 11 2011, 12:54:45 UTC
(reposted from here)

Sam is recruited into college-boy gay-for-pay porn productions while at Stanford, and becomes a big star on the internet. Dean starts watching.

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Fill! (1/2) transfixeddream March 12 2011, 22:07:52 UTC
The whole thing starts out as an honest mistake. The laptop was purchased, first and foremost, for the purposes of research and easy access to roadmaps when needed, but Dean's a dude, twenty-four, and single, so it doesn't exactly take him long to work out that The Internet is For Porn. And, boy, is there a lot of it. Asian chicks, blonde chicks, gloriously curvy chicks; blowjobs and reverse-cowgirls and scary-looking toys; and, because Dean's a versatile kind of guy, he's clicked on more than a couple intriguing stills of ripped young men, hoping they'll look just as hot in action. None of this is the mistake.

Dean's mistake was stumbling upon Jay Kansas. And he did stumble, too; he's scoured his conscience over and over since it happened, wondering if there was some subconscious motivator in the line of the jaw, the breadth of the palms on that boy, willing him to click, but, guilty as he feels, he doesn't think there was. Jay was just some Youporn sensation, a college boy gay for pay, and the general consensus was that he was ( ... )

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Fill! (2/2) transfixeddream March 12 2011, 22:08:16 UTC
He looks okay in the vids, though. Not possessed, not bruised, not underfed or unhappy, but - okay. More than okay, in fact. He makes sounds like he's dying of pleasure and he looks like a golden god, and Dean misses him like blood and he's only fucking flesh and bone. He watches his brother, leaps on each newly posted video as proof of his continued existence, and fuck, it's wrong, but he touches himself as he does it all the same, fingers thrust into the unzipped vee of his jeans as Sam twists and moans under some guy's weight. He's hotter than all the Asian chicks and lipstick lesbians, than the twinks and the cougars and the bears. He comes like he's dying and he shoots to kill and when Dean comes with him, it's almost like they're together again, like some kind of affirmation. It's good, fuck, it's good.

Dean knows it's a mistake, really. He does. But Sam's a thousand miles away and Dean's a lonely, thankless drifter, and by the fourth cheap motel of the week he no longer feels like a hero. He knows it's wrong, but Sam is ( ... )

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Re: Fill! (2/2) rock_chick_333 March 12 2011, 22:28:13 UTC
Christ, nonnie, I think you broke me. I don't know whether to wank, or weep. Dean, oh, Dean. *chews knuckles*

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Re: Fill! (2/2) obstinatrix March 13 2011, 13:32:31 UTC
♥ Thank you.

I'm not sure why I posted this anon. :/

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Re: Fill! (2/2) rock_chick_333 March 13 2011, 17:21:13 UTC
IT WAS YOU! That explains everything.

Don't be giving me the side-eye, it was a compliment...

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Re: Fill! (2/2) big_heart_june March 12 2011, 23:10:13 UTC
You're brilliant and I'm totally with dastiel_gal, the glorious images of Sam you've given us are a serious turn-on but Dean just makes me want to weep my heart out.
Wow. thanks for this. ♥

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Re: Fill! (2/2) obstinatrix March 13 2011, 13:32:53 UTC
Aw, thank you. Broken, twisted-up Dean is kind of my favourite Dean. ;)

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Re: Fill! (2/2) transfixeddream March 12 2011, 23:20:06 UTC
Ooooh nonnie, this was awesome! I love the descriptions you put of Sam, and Dean's internal conflictions and, gaaaah. Thank you so much for filling this! ♥

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Re: Fill! (2/2) obstinatrix March 13 2011, 13:33:23 UTC
Thank you! :)

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Re: Fill! (2/2) essene March 12 2011, 23:34:36 UTC
*whimper* So good. Oh the angst/porn, she is delicious.

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Re: Fill! (2/2) obstinatrix March 13 2011, 13:33:36 UTC
These boys are made for angst/porn. ;) Thank you!

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Re: Fill! (2/2) the_rant_girl March 13 2011, 00:20:01 UTC
wow! oh Dean....I'm with everyone else, oh so very torn, brilliant writing.

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Re: Fill! (2/2) obstinatrix March 13 2011, 13:33:43 UTC
♥ Thank you!

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Re: Fill! (2/2) sienata March 13 2011, 00:54:06 UTC
this was awesome. poor dean, all strung out and missing his one and only. i wonder what sam is thinking about (*cough, hint*). maybe he's missing dean too... :)

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Re: Fill! (2/2) obstinatrix March 13 2011, 13:34:01 UTC
Oh, I am sure Sam is missing Dean. ;) Thank you!d

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