Red 19 comes at an odd time this year in terms of where and why and how I feel about my life

[transientdenial]

I jumped the gun a little on this one.

I think I equate being happy with being in a relationship and though I realize this is a mistake it's proven difficult to shake.

I never realized how impatient I can be. I hate waiting around for time to change my mind and just want to take action but...

Tonight I can't forget that I've got these open

Comments

[ciznarrstar]

unfortunately, no matter what anyone says, your not going to be able to just convince yourself to feel better. your gunna feel crappy no matter how hard you try to cheer yourself up. BUT, the good news is, one morning your gunna wake up and you'll just feel completely fixed. thats how i was anyways. i cant really explain it. it was like my mind and body had finally had enough and suddenly it was gone. and once you DO get to that point, its so easy to get to it again, because you sort of have a better appreciation for yourself and your self worth after that. i sure this sounds stupid and makes no sense, but i was in your shoes a while ago with how i felt and the more i fought it, the worse i felt. just go with it. everyone SHOULD be allowed to sulk and wallow in their problems every once and a while without other people telling them to cheer up. afterwards, you wont let anyone else make you feel that bad again, b/c no matter how much you care about them, you'll begin to care about yourself more, first and foremost.

these things are truth

[rubystar025]

Well said.

[hollyberry99]

"If I can't learn to make myself feel better, how can I expect anyone else to give a shit?"

Im so glad you wrote that because that is the complete story of my life. i just had to tell you that. I feel exactly that way. Im not saying everything will just go away now but it does feel good to know that youre not the only one feeling this way. Well for me anyways. Also the last line is fantastic. Not only is it funny (which im sure was part of the intent) but its also so true. Nothings more frustrating than wanting to be happy and not being able to.