Allo! =D

[ftm_femme_fag]

Hello, all!

I'm Adam. I'm (almost) 19. I'm FTM,pre-physical transition. I'm looking to get pregnant within the next 2-3 years, too.

Here are my questions:

1. Are there any sperm banks who deal well with FTMs who are either waiting to transtion or have currently stopped transition who want to get pregnant?

2. After I give birth(I do plan to legally

Comments

[almeda]

Your mileage, docs, etc, may vary, but I can tell you that as a youngish person seeking transition seriously, a lot of docs out there may be reluctant to do anything that makes you infertile until after you've used your fertility, if you know what I mean.

It's a lot easier to talk people into a hysto if you can say, "Yeah, I have two kids, we're done."

[ksej]

One of the many things my shrink wanted me to "think about" (which I think translates as "have a detailed plan for dealing with") was what I was going to tell my daughter, how I was going to react if other kids teased her, etc. My feeling is that (some?) therapists will jump on any excuse to claim you haven't thought it through fully, but depending where you are, you might be able to get one who isn't a jerk about it.

I do know at least one guy who gave birth before starting hormones, so it's possible.

[almeda]

On the other hand, there's lots of good data showing that the earlier in a kid's life their parent transitions, the less likely they are to freak out about it (because it's always been 'normal'). Which makes me want to spit when I see people saying their therapists have told them they have to put off transitioning until their 10-year-old goes off to college or something, to 'make it easier for the child.' Yeah, like keeping secrets and adding emotional turmoil to the household is healthier than actually improving communication ...

[ksej]

I bet those therapists also think that as long as someone is living as their birth sex, that's a good outcome, however much damage it does. It is pretty disgusting.

I know what you mean about small children not freaking out. I've told my daughter pretty much since day one that Mummy's a boy, and she's cool with that. She even tells people, if they call me "she", "Mummy's a boy!" The trouble is, we're approaching the age where I have to explain cissexism, or at least answer the question, "Why does Granny keep saying Mummy's a girl?"

[almeda]

It's all about treating the patient for society's comfort and 'good,' not the patient's. And society's good means, among other things, getting to pretend everyone's cisgendered and well-adjusted.

[brujaoscura]

In some states, changing your name is as simple as paying a fee and doing so. They will ask you if your purpose is to avoid prosecution,or to evade justice system.
Here in KY, you fill out the paperwork, pay the fees and appear before a judge. That's it- no surgery required, no psychological exams.
Personally- I'd have children before I actually transition. I've heard that the hormones can mess up the system.
Now I don't know what the docs will think.(I'm cisgendered female- my partner is MtF)I know that finding a doc here is like pulling teeth. They mostly want to "make you better" by discouraging you from transitioning.
My kids are cool with Heidy.

[rexlezard]

1. Yes. Sperm banks deal well with people who have money, pretty much end of story, IME. Don't worry about that.

2. Not if you find the right therapist.

Do not not have children because you think it will screw up your transition later - on the other hand, do not not transition because it will screw up your parenting later.

You'll figure it out.

I started transitioning at 17, hormones at 18, and decided at 24 to become a parent. At 26, I started working on it, two years later, I'm still working on it, but both decisions were absolutely the right ones to make at the time.

[boy_dodger]

i'm an FTM who has had 2 little girls post transition with my XY male partner. on our 20mos birth cert it list as parent and parent. we are hopping that our 1mos birth cert is the same(keep forgetting to order one)

i started medical transition at 18. at 22 my partner and i decided to have kids. i stopped T just before my 22 birthday. we had some trouble getting and staying pregnant, so we ended up seeking out a fertility doc, and he never once even doubled taked about my gender.

my doc that i go to about my transition/when i'm sick has been really supportive of my choice to have kids.

Avery