A little frustrated lately. Feeling whiny. I don't know how I feel about going home. Or I do know how I feel but can't articulate it. Or something
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What do you feel like doing though? You say that you're confused, anxious, feeling dreadful, and like you're being watched and analyzed to do what's expected of you.
Bryan, as one of my first role models, it's strange knowing that instead of doing what you want, and being carefree no matter what-the-hell others are doing, you're having a panic attack (I am keeping in mind, though, that LJ isn't actual life, and that you might being faring better/worse than what you're letting on). Your bright, independent, and even pretty--a pretty girl like you should do the following:
Whatever you feel like doing.
Hell, don't go home. stay in a motel or crash with a friend. And it's not being a punk--it's claiming your life and setting the perimeters. Family may just have to exist outside those borders.
Am I rambling? I hope I didn't overstep or anything. I care about you, and I hope and pray to my Christian God that your steps aren't heavy.
Thanks. I know all that. I'm alright most of the time, just every once in a while the awareness that sometime I have to face certain facts and go home (whether in the present sense or the metaphysical, or spiritual whatever) gets to me and I begin to get morose. The financial issues also get tricky; if I had a trust fund, believe me, I'd be a lot less anxious and would have a hotel or apartment set up asap. A very kind professor has offered her home to me for at least part of the winter break. I have a limited amount of resources but I'm resourceful enough to have survived this long.
Hope things are good your way.
And I am not a pretty girl. That is not what I do. ;)
Good. But you know that if you wanted to, I'd glady have you in Tejas. Although I get the feeling that's probably impractical at best. But you'd always be welcome. My mom would make you waffles. Someday things will get better.
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Bryan, as one of my first role models, it's strange knowing that instead of doing what you want, and being carefree no matter what-the-hell others are doing, you're having a panic attack (I am keeping in mind, though, that LJ isn't actual life, and that you might being faring better/worse than what you're letting on). Your bright, independent, and even pretty--a pretty girl like you should do the following:
Whatever you feel like doing.
Hell, don't go home. stay in a motel or crash with a friend. And it's not being a punk--it's claiming your life and setting the perimeters. Family may just have to exist outside those borders.
Am I rambling? I hope I didn't overstep or anything. I care about you, and I hope and pray to my Christian God that your steps aren't heavy.
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Hope things are good your way.
And I am not a pretty girl. That is not what I do. ;)
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And the big green mouth as a human toilet. [couldn't help myself, what what]
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