Title: Nevermore
Rating: G
Warning: N/A
Summary: After the events of Window of Opportunity, Jack tries to reconcile his past.
Author's Notes: This is the second fic written for the SG-1 Time Travel Alphabet Soup Anthology sponsored by
sg-fignewton. This has not been through the beta process at all, so I apologize in advance for any typos or mistakes!
Nevermore
Stars filled the sky as Jack stared up at the heavens. His telescope set up and ready to go next to his chair, but he didn't use it. He only wanted to think, and to let the solitude of the night sky soothe his worries. Or in this case, his fears.
He took a swig of the beer he brought with him, while his thoughts took him to the planet where Malikai tried his best to recreate history. Jack shook his head as he looked down at the bottle in his hand. He still couldn't manage to even comprehend why anyone would want to go through with the devastation that came with watching someone you loved die. It defied reason, as far as he was concerned.
Yet he turned his attention back to the sky once more, and wondered once again what it would be like to have Charlie here with him. What would they be doing right now?
He shook his head again. Why do this now, he thought wearily, although deep down, he knew the answer to that question. Malikai had brought back those "what-if" thoughts again, and Jack knew he was going to have to struggle with the memories for a bit. Just as he had to deal with it after they returned from their journey to the past when they had gated to 1969. That trip had brought on crazy ideas of figuring out a way to go back to save Charlie, and Jack was still ticked off at the futility of those thoughts. He glared up at the stars. No way was he going to do that again. It served no purpose, he told himself firmly. Charlie was dead. Nothing Jack did was going to bring him back. He took another swig and grimaced. They had the ability to travel through time, even if finding the next solar flare was sketchy at best, and there wasn't a thing he could do to bring his son back.
So that's it, he thought as he drained the bottle and set it down on the table next to him. Never again. He looked through the lens of his telescope and aimed it toward the Milky Way, trying to focus on a star Carter had mentioned to him earlier that day.
"Jack!"
Great timing Daniel, Jack thought with a smile. "Up here," he yelled.
Daniel climbed the last stair and looked down at Jack. "What are you doing?"
Jack turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. "What's it look like?"
Daniel shrugged. "Looks like you are having a great time." He held up the six-pack he was holding and grinned. "I brought some refreshment."
"You're a good man, Daniel Jackson," Jack told him sincerely. "Have a seat."
Daniel sat down on the other chair and handed Jack a bottle. "How are you holding up?" he asked.
"Well as can be expected, I guess." He looked over at Daniel. "Why?"
"Just wondered." Daniel took a drink, and said, "I guess you're glad the day is finally over, huh?"
Jack grunted at that remark and took a drink. That definitely was the understatement of the century. After reliving the same day for what seemed like an eternity, he was very happy to see it end.
But Daniel wasn't ready to let it go completely. "I keep thinking about Malikai and his determination to go back in time to see his wife again."
Jack mentally steeled himself. He was so not going there.
Daniel went on anyway. "Did you ever wonder about doing that yourself?"
"No," Jack said with finality. He just didn't need this.
"I have," Daniel said softly. "My parents died when I was young and I thought maybe I could..." he shrugged and took another drink before saying, "Maybe I could have saved them."
Jack looked over at his friend, surprised to hear his own thoughts being thrown back at him. Daniel, on the other hand, wouldn't look at him. No surprise there, Jack thought. They sat in silence, while he wondered what to say.
Never again, he thought with determination even though he knew it was as inevitable as the sun rising in the east. Some things you just can't run away from.
"We can't change the past, Daniel," he said. "We can think about it, but we can't change it. So, what's the point?"
"I don't know," Daniel said. He cleared his throat, then added, "I just wondered, that's all."
"Yeah," Jack said as he raised the bottle to his lips. "Me too."
Daniel looked at him with a grin. "I thought you said you never think about."
"I lied."
"And...?"
"And nothing. I don't dwell."
Apparently Daniel knew a lost cause when he saw one. He nodded and said, "Okay." He turned to Jack and raised his bottle as if to a toast. "Forget I said anything."
Jack returned the gesture and turned to look up at the stars again, his thoughts once again on Charlie. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Never again."