This could be a little self-serving, but I don't think getting angry about dude-discrimination is counter-feminist. My understanding of feminism is that it hinges on equality between the sexes. And certainly, more generally that translates into reacting to the dominant culture. But I think dude-hatred is a result of the dominant culture too, indirectly. So I think it's consistent to be reacting against that too, because that's not about equality either.
Like I said though, that could just be self-serving.
you're not wrong; feminism IS about equality (though not just between the sexes. feminism these days is pretty intersectional), and i am definitely interested in ways that kyriarchal structures hurt everyone (dudes included), but that is not really the problem that i am having with these reactions. it's not bothering me that i am worried about dudes, it's bothering me that i seem more worried about dudes. whether i actually am or not, i am getting more upset by this anti-male nonsense lately than i have been about anti-female stuff, and that's complicated and makes me think and feel all sorts of things. perhaps i am explaining that part poorly. am i making sense now?
it is possible, but unfortunately i am doubtful. i would love it if the answer were that easy. i am doubtful though because i was at one time in my life living in a VERY man-hating environment, and coming out of those surroundings was really eye-opening. so i'd like to think that i became "aware" of these things back then, and have been so ever since.
you've got me thinking about it in another way though, so thank you for that. really.
now that i mention that though, i wonder if maybe it's because i'd made myself so removed from these attitudes (by my choices in friends, media, etc, since then...) that these things seem so jarring. perhaps i've either kindof forgot that people think/say these things, and/or perhaps i have gotten so used to people who don't pull that shit that now that it really seems abnormal to me for anyone to act differently. hm. that's really something to think about!
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Like I said though, that could just be self-serving.
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you've got me thinking about it in another way though, so thank you for that. really.
now that i mention that though, i wonder if maybe it's because i'd made myself so removed from these attitudes (by my choices in friends, media, etc, since then...) that these things seem so jarring. perhaps i've either kindof forgot that people think/say these things, and/or perhaps i have gotten so used to people who don't pull that shit that now that it really seems abnormal to me for anyone to act differently. hm. that's really something to think about!
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