Because Miss Ali "tagged" me.
1. As *nsync would say, “God must have spent a little more time on you.” What, exactly, did God spend more time on?
I think god spent a lot of time on my hands because they are awesome.
2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protesters do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?
I'd start a war against those maniacs who drive faster than me and those idiots who drive slower than me. The protesters would accuse me of ripping off George Carlin.
3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?
I think Jack Nicolson would play me and Queen Latifa would be my lover.
4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?
cream of wheat
5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.
6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?
which ever society told me to fuck/date.
7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?
i have. people were amazed because it smelled like flowers.
8. Tell one crazy “I can’t believe how drunk I was” story.
i told my mom i was sleeping at a friends house and my friend told his mom he was sleeping at my house. then we stumbled around outside until we found an abandoned block party around 3 in the morning. we stole the cooler full of beer and drank it, all. then we broke into an abandoned house which was under construction. then i thought id be cool and climb into the window that was open only to fall down a good 7 or 8 feet into the basement. then i wandered into this alley behind some apartment buildings and projectile vommited with my friends. at around 4 or five, it was still dark, we went to a park and slept under a bench and used newspapers for blankets. i was pretty full of regret especially since my arm was scraped from my elbow to wrist from my lil fall.
9.ideal Christmas stocking?
a solid brick of gold
10. Who is Britney Spears’ soul mate?
i really dont know but i hope she finds one.
11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?
1984
12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.
whatever I weight now... over 210 lbs
13. Ever puked and run?
i puked in my friends back yard and pretended it didnt happen and hoped he didnt notice, never chase a boody mary mixed with diet rite and egg nog with a beer.
14. Tell one "too tired to finish masturbating" story
Well there was this one time i was masturbating but i was way too tired to finish, so i didnt.
15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.
1. chuck norris doesnt sleep, he waits
2. there are no endangered species, theres just a list of animals that chuck norris allows to live.
3. chuck norris' tear can cure cancer but too bad he has never cried.
4. chuck norris could have sex with me any time.
16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).
17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?
a French-Canadian meat pie
18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?
snagglepuss
19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?
20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?
No. I'm not crazy. im not man enough.
21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.
Dali's "Elepants Reflecting Swans" ya dont even to be high to stare at this one for hours.
22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?
Orange because you cant go wrong with orange.
23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.
fire. what is a "ball gag"?
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal'?
1 -everyone has their limits
25. Why are ball gags sexy?
because they just are.
26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?
yes i do. they arent fun maybe if the ice were a differnt shape or if when ever you pulled the ice out ya got a puppy they would be.
27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?
this one time me and this hoe was banging hardcore in the bath tub full of water and i knocked the hair dryer in with us. the chemistry between us was electric. the sparks really flew, too bad she lost all her hair.
28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, you’re a fucking whore.
both as long as they were fat incase there wasnt anyfood on the island.
29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?
yo mamma so invisible, where is she?
30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner?
i think we'd have to take turns or use one of those big long ones both could of us use.
any more questions?