I know the feeling, or something like it. I've been spending a lot of time with my grandma this summer. She is waiting to die. In a weird way, we wait with her, though she has no fatal physical illnesses, except the very beginnings of Alzheimers. She's just done with her life too soon and waiting for the end...
which do you think is worse, the knowledge that they will be gone so soon or the waiting with the feeling of the person already having gone?
I know that this hasn't been a comforting comment. I'm can't say I'm sorry, because I do have the power of editing here, so instead I'll say I'm selfish. I really wanted to say this and I'm hoping it won't be any more hurtful than a trite and condensed, greeting card "My Sympathies" would be.
Maybe if we did wait at deathbeds, like you suggested, there'd be some way of celebrating instead of mourning, of living right up to the end...
For me, it's the waiting with the feeling that they've gone. I didn't really think of him being gone so soon; it happened quickly, and he was only in his early 70s. I'll get back to you on that, because I wonder how I will see my grandmother differently now, and if I will worry that she'll be gone soon.
Incidentally, I don't see your comment as selfish at all. From my perspective, you've just offered solidarity instead of sympathy. In fact, I think it takes more generosity to do as you did and share something of your life.
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If you want to talk, feel free to call, ya?
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which do you think is worse, the knowledge that they will be gone so soon or the waiting with the feeling of the person already having gone?
I know that this hasn't been a comforting comment. I'm can't say I'm sorry, because I do have the power of editing here, so instead I'll say I'm selfish. I really wanted to say this and I'm hoping it won't be any more hurtful than a trite and condensed, greeting card "My Sympathies" would be.
Maybe if we did wait at deathbeds, like you suggested, there'd be some way of celebrating instead of mourning, of living right up to the end...
Reply
Incidentally, I don't see your comment as selfish at all. From my perspective, you've just offered solidarity instead of sympathy. In fact, I think it takes more generosity to do as you did and share something of your life.
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