week four entry » "human eyes speak human lies"

[suspirando]

Challenge: Don't use sensory descriptions at all. I failed. I tried. I really did D:
Title: Human Eyes Speak Human Lies.
Author:

Comments

[samcoffeeaddict]

I like the style of this. It reminds me a little bit of 'The Babysitter' a short story I read....way back when. Anyhow, the noting of time in this had me just as confused as in the abovementioned short story, but even without much sensory input (aside from the description of the cells) you manage to convey the emotion driven actions very well. For this one, the circular beginning/ending definitely works, especially since it's written in episodic style.

[suspirando]

Thank you very much for the detailed comment. I haven't heard of that short story..

But I'm glad the ending worked for you. Believe or not, I actually started with that ending phrase alone, and the whole story branched from that one sentence. That's how I work a lot of the time, which is weird, either one sentence or a title. and I have to admit the time thrown in is very confusing. It's supposed to be the time left for the detonation. The ship is self-destructing with its prisoners inside.

anyway, thank you!