>.> Contains spoiler
Paco: ...
Harry: Hey, kid.
Paco: Hey.
You're a lawyer?
Harry: Yep!
Paco: Fuck.
Cool.
Harry: ...Yeah, sure is. -smirk- What's your deal?
Paco: I wanna be a fuckin lawyer.
Harry: Bahaha. Yeah?
Paco: Yeah. Fuck.
You know who's the coolest person ever?
Harry: I don't.
Paco: Perry Fuckin' Mason.
Harry: That's..pretty classic, I guess.
Paco: Yeah, my grandpa's into that stuff. Used to watch it with him. Wild Wild West, too, but I can't exactly be a sci-fi cowboy.
Harry: So that's where your aspirations came from? :P
Paco: Eh, they're good aspirations. Who gives a shit if they come from somewhere kind of dumb.
Harry: Wasn't complainin'. At least you got conviction.
Paco: Hell yeah, and making sure no one else does.
You ever play Phoenix Wright?
Harry: ...No.
Paco: Stupid as fuck, but also fun. Only played the first one. Don't have DS myself so I have to snag it from my roommate, and he didn't like Phoenix Wright enough to buy the other games.
The best thing EVER is playing on the bus and using the voice feature.
OBJECTION!
Harry: Well well, isn't that quaint.
Paco: Condescending fuck. Well, shit, I can take it. You're a fucking lawyer, you've earned it.
Harry: I sure have, kid. You'd lose breath at my paycheck. :P
Paco: Fuck YEAH I would. Shit. When I have my fucking kids they're gonna fucking eat three times every fucking day and their clothes are gonna fucking fit.
Harry: -laughs- Dreaming big. That's a kind of unusual list there, though.
Paco: That's really the main goal. Everything else is icing.
Harry: Interesting.
Paco: Tasty as hell icing, but icing none theless.
Don't like kids or what?
Harry: They're fine.
Paco: As long as their not yours?
Harry: Not even that so much, y'know. I just find it interesting you're so into it, as a young person.
Paco: Well it's not like I want to have them NOW. I'm not even sure there's a woman in the world who would marry me, but hell, genes are for passing down.
Harry: Heh, awesome.
Paco: And you shouldn't plant a garden if you can't take care of it, so I've gotta stock up on fertilizer.
Harry: Right... -smirk-
Paco: Glad it's just metaphorical fertilizer. My grandpa used to be a gardener. His truck still stinks.
You know what else fucking stinks? Fucking summer.
Harry: You think so?
You in college or anything, man?
Paco: Shit yeah. What, you think they're just gonna hand me a degree if I ask real nice?
Harry: Haha.
Paco: Did try it once, just to make sure. They do these, uh, monthly things were you can make a meeting to talk to the president of the school so I made an appointment.
He was all "how can I help you?" and I said "look, this is a pretty neat place and all, but it would be really great if I could just skip all of that and have my degree? Think it's doable?"
He laughed so hard. "Adorable!" he said.
I said "I'LL SHOW YOU ADORABLE"
and I pulled out my Carlito Capybara keychain.
Adorable.
Harry: ....-snicker- I see, I see.
Paco: I didn't really do that.... That would've been awesome.
Never even seen the president. Stick me around authority I get all... stare-at-the-ground.....y.
Harry: Huh, that ain't good for a future laywer. :P
Paco: Ugh shit I fucking KNOW but that's not the biggest problem.
My fucking hat.
Harry: Yeah?
Paco: I wear it all the fucking time. Sometimes I fall asleep still wearing it. If I go too long without it I get all.... anxious and shaky like I'm having withdrawls. Fuckin.... HAT ADDICTION. And shit, you're in court all the time, you know the rules.
Harry: Yeah, 'course. Hopefully that hat won't hold you back. XD
Paco: Trynna wean myself off of it....
Harry: Well, that's a start.
Paco:Yeah, working on that authority shit, too. One of my professors was pushing Catcher in the fuckin' Rye as this universal shit that everyone can relate to and I was like "I DON'T RELATE TO THIS LOSER....... sir......"
and he said "what about your hat?" and i said "FUCK"
on the inside....
Harry: Hahaahah.
Paco: At least I know where the ducks go in the winter....
I live in fuckin southern California, our ducks don't even GO anywhere and I know where they would if they had to.
I mean seriously of all the fucking shit to be emo about.
Harry: -smirks- Uh huh.
Paco: So I have heard that laywer use a lot of words but don't really say anything. I think I've got that part down. >.>
Harry: Hahaha! Use the power when necessary, kid! :B
Paco: My roommate, Garret, he can fucking talk. Like a teenage girl with a private phone line, he can talk. He'd be a fucking awesome lawyer, but if he went for it I'd have to kill him.
Harry: Takes more than talking, but sure. Why's that? You got full reign?
Paco:He is the best at everything he does.
And I want to be the best at THIS.
Harry: Got it.
Paco: So, um, hopefully I'll be better than you. Or you'll be retired.
Harry: -laughs- Gotta fight me for it, man. I'm pretty good.
Paco: I got in a fight last year. It... was... pretty awesome, really.
Harry: Oh yeah?
Paco: Yesssss because there is getting your ass kicked when you can't fight back, and there's getting your ass kicked when you CAN. Doesn't fucking matter if you limp away bleeding from your face, if you HIT BACK you feel so fucking powerful.
Harry: Oh, sure, I've heard this kind of thing before. Incidentally, what kind of law are you interested in?
Paco: Corporate.
Harry: Corporate!
There's a handful of headaches for ya.'
Paco: Well, you know, I've been going back and forth about what I actually want to do, but there's the whole "well IS he the killer?" thing and I don't want to deal with that shit.
Harry: Sure, that's completely understandable.
Paco: I'm so untrusting, if I were a defense attorney I'd probably be like "pfff yeah you're the killer" to all my potential clients and never get any work.
Harry: Criminal attorneys DO need a good fake face. it's the most important thing. :P
Need people to believe you won't judge them and all that.
Paco: 'CAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING JUDGE I'M JUST A LAWYER
mannnn can't wait to get out there and do some lawyerin'
Harry: Hahaha.
Paco:Lawyers always look good when they're lawyerin'. It's a rule. Maybe that's how I'll meet my woman.
Harry: Ya just might. :P And that's a good rule.
Paco: She'll be all "hey you look good" and I'll be "well, YEAH, I'm LAWYERIN', aint I?"
Though I don't know. Even the power of lawyerin' might not be enough to balance out MY FACE.
Harry: ...How do you mean?
Paco: I look remarkably similar to the most hideous person in the world.
Harry: Who is..?
Paco: Well he has the same last name as me.
Harry: All right..haha.
Paco: I'm smarter than him, though, at least there's that. Life is kind sometimes.
And sometimes it isnt >=[ He's got his girlfriend over right now. She's a bitch.
Harry: ...Your brother?
Paco: My father.
And his girlfriend is Lady Tequila, when Madam Whisky is out of town.
FUCK THEM.
Harry: :p
Paco: ಠ_ಠ
Harry: Gahaha.
Paco: Don't tell me you're an alcoholic.
Harry: Ha. No. I like wine, and my boyfriend's a hard drinker, but nothing like that.
Paco: Everyone's gay around here.
Harry: Seems that way. I'm not gay, though. I'm just open. P:
Paco: I am... closed. Like, fuck.
Harry: Mmm?
Paco: My grirlfriend (fuck I had a girlfriend? how did this happen?) put her hand in my shirt and I broke up with her.
Harry:...What?
Paco: She put her hand in my shirt and was touching me and, shit, next thing she would've been trynna undress me and shit, I don't want that shit, not yet, shit.
Harry: Wow, you have some problems kid. Hahaha.
But okay.
Paco: Anyway, her hands were cold.
Harry: Haha..
Paco: She was hot, though. CLEARLY she was insane.
Harry: Clearly.
Paco: So what about your boyfriend? Is he a lawyer, too? Or something equally awesome?
Harry: He's a factory worker. :P
Paco: Welllll I load trucks at a factory.
Harry: It's an honest profession. XD
Paco: And it honestly suck,but ehhhh it's money. That's only during the summer, anwyay. When I'm at school I work at a bookstore. It's called Books Books Books. For a novelist, my boss is very uncreative.
Harry: Hahahahaha. I see.
Paco:He makes me read his novels. They're good, okay, but I have my own reading to do.
I don't have time to ENJOY myself. I have to STUDY.
Harry: Atta boy. :P
Paco: I got an A- in one of my classes this past quarter.
Harry: :O
Paco: Probably because I was READING SCI FI instead of CLASSIC LITERATURE.
Harry: Haaahaha.
Man, I can't stand fiction, myself.
Though I like to work from the mindset that all my clients are Josef K.
Paco: I like to work from the standpoint that all my customers have to take a shit real bad so I better be quick and not waste their time.
Harry: Interesting. You're going to have to be damn good at your job to get your corporates through very quick, though.
Paco: I intend to be, but hell, I get A minuses so who knows.
Harry: Hahaha.
Paco: 'Cause, I mean, school is easy and life is hard, so if I can't reach my goals at school life is gonna fuck me.
Harry: That's a good philosophy.
Paco: Man, I am kind of worried. I'll probably do a lot of throwing up once I get out in the real world. It's a scary place.
Harry: Ha, well..
Paco: Like, ever time I have a final... I throw up. And If I have more than two essays due the same week? I throw up.
Harry: Jeez.
Paco: Yes.
Harry: -smirks- Well.
Paco: I swear if you weren't a lawyer that smirk would piss me off so much.
Harry: Oh, really? :J
Paco: Yeah, all "HAHA KID YOUR FLAWS AMUSE ME"
Harry: Everything amuses me. Don't take it personal, man.
Or do, ya know.
Whatever.
Paco: The world is your amusement park. Lovely.
Harry: No better way to look at it, yeah? -grin-
Paco: Well the world is my... korean bbq place, 'cause you've gotta cook everything yourself and if you get e. coli and die it's your own fault.
Harry: -smirk- Ha.
Paco: I've actually never been to a Korean BBQ place.
Mostly 'cause I know I'd get E. Coli and die.
Or another tapeworm.
Harry: Ha. Another one, eh? I wouldn't eat Korean myself.
Paco: Don't eat pork in Mexico. Just don't.
Harry: Jesus. Of course not..
Paco: I don't go to Mexico anymore even if it means an extra week at home with my dad.
Harry: Ha.
Paco: I still have nightmares.
Harry: XD
Paco: Like, they're COMING OUT OF ME, out of my mouth, and they're wrapping themselves around me....
Harry: ..
Paco: And then they start eating me.
Harry: XD
Paco: And my dad shows up and he watches. Laughing.
Harry: Dad problems, eh?
Paco: Not so much dad PROMLEMS as dad IS a problem.
Harry: Ha.
Paco: I had a dream one time that I punched him. Ahh so awesome.
Harry: Hahaha..why don't you do it in real life?
Paco: 'Cause I'd die.
Harry: I see.
XD
Paco: I'm not kidding. He's got knives. He knows where my vital places are.
Harry: Yikes.
Paco: I went to Black Angus and I ordered a steak.
And I was like "FUCK" because I couldn't hold the knife long enough to cut my dang meat.
Harry: ...Jesus.
Paco: Jesus doesn't live here.
However, he does live down the street.
Jesus Mancillas.
Harry: Haha. I'm not talking about Hey Seuss.
Paco: Figured, but I was trying to jump off the train to Emo Town before it reached top speed.
Emo Town, you come in by train but you crawl out on your hands and knees.
Harry: -laughs- You're kinda wacky.
Paco: And you're kind of... Harry-y
Harry: Sure, you could say that.
Paco: I have a question.
Do you think that if I don't drink those businessmen are not going to want anything to do with me?
'Cause my grandpa said "they will ask you to drink and if you say no they're going to say 'aye que chingon' and that'll be that."
Harry: Drink what, alcohol?
Paco: Yeah.
Harry: I don't think people would really give a shit if you skipped drinks, honestly.
Paco: Gooood 'cause kicking sleeping monsters is not my thing.
Harry: Yeah.
Paco: I've got a disease, man. It's in my blood. Not letting that shit out.
Harry: Hmmm.
Paco: That's life~ That's what all the people say~ You're riding high in April~ Shot down in May~
Harry: .. -laughs-
Paco: Sinatra, man.
South of the border~ Down Mexico way~ That's where I fell in love whenthe stars above came out to play~
Harry: XDD
Paco: HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC UGH
Harry: ...
-snort-
Whoops. :P
Paco: Womanizer, too. Ugh.
Harry: XD
Paco: It's a wonder anyone gets anywhere with no one to look up to.
Harry: -laughs-
Paco:Someday, someone is going to try to look up to me
Harry: I bet.
Paco: And they'll say "shit, he's got a hat addiction? And nervous puking? And he can't hold a fucking knife?"
"And he got an A- in Classic Literature?"
Yeah. We're all screwed up.
Harry: Haahaha.
Paco:Hm the hallucinations are creeping in (NO NOT THE CRAZY PERSON KIND, THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION KIND). I should get going.
Harry: Oh yeah? -smirk-
Paco: Yes.... saw something out of the corner of my eye that was not there. Nightmare fuel.
Harry: Get nightmares easy?
Paco: Yes. I'd say 5 nights a week on average.
Harry: That's a little excessive.
Paco: Hey, if it means I sleep 5 nights a week I'm all for it.
Harry: -snickers-
Paco: Ah, Snickers. Now I'm hungry.
But that's a good thing! I'll dream about food and not tapeworms with knives.
Harry: I'm glad you think so.
Paco: Good night. Stay lawyerly.
Harry: Will do, kid.