Otherkin Essay
All of this was written since 5:30 this morning. this was my morning labor of love. I've been wanting to write this for some time.
Where has all the magic gone?
You know, I found myself thinking recently, about just how much the otherkin world has changed since I came around. Or maybe it was just my youth that made me see it as I did.
Where did the old magic go? The magic that let a little jere like me (for those that don't know, jere being a female unmated dragon) go to Draconic.com, share my dreams, and get support.
We don't really support people anymore, do we? I regret the loss of thsoe days. The days when we didn't automatically shove down a newb for being a newb, when the older ones didn't assume they know more than the younger ones.
I miss the old days, even if they were the worst days.
*sighs* IT seems to me, the older we get, the less we're willing to understand what we were like, when we were newb otherkin. I remember the days of that, certainly.
-___- ;;; Hell, I remember the days when I was a dragon who didn't know what an otherkin was, and queried people on this.
Now, we have all these FAQs around, and people don't really THINK for themselves. And we're not really helping. We older ones (who aren't even the true older ones), see a newb, paint a sign on their forehead, and pat them on the head, tell them what's right, what's wrong, and send them on their way.
We tell them, certain kinds are welcome here. Oh, but we dont' tell them that those certain kinds aren't welcome. No, we say to them that some kinds...you just dont' want to hang out with. YOu wouldn't want to be heard to be talking to the crazies, afterall.
We all know a few of the crazies.
"I believe in getting my true form back"
" I believe I"m going to sprout wings, and i can feel them growing!"
"I believe in the Great War of the Otherkin."
"I believe that we should segregate."
"I believe I am the great and high Magus Master General"
"I believe that you are wrong, I am right."
It only really proves to me how very human we truly are. We can't get past human ideas, human prejudices.
Now honestly, do you really think some dragons, or elves, or any other, would say to their kin, "he's weird, don't talk to him. He thinks he's going to sprout these little wing things that don't even have any wingsail!" or "ewww, he's got some mental disease that makes him want to turn into a pale-bodied weak elvin thing."
I sincerely doubt it. Though I don't doubt we each had our own little racial prejudices. Hell, my clan had a racial prejudice against vegans. But only because vegetables could kill my clan. So our prejudice at least had a basis in reality.
But I think, in most cultures, other than human cultures, those oddities might even have been encouraged. We might have said to someone thinking that, that that was very interesting. We might have queried them as to the specifics, and drawn them to harden their beliefs, to understand why they think teh way that they do, outside of what we think ourselves.
It just strikes me lately how very much we've all changed. How many people have NEVER in their entire life wanted to be something other than a human? How many people can say this? I believe that that entire feeling is not only neccessary, but VITAL to being who you are. If you haven't longed to be something else with your whole soul, I don't think you can understand truly just how wonderful it is to be who you are.
Okay, so there are exceptions. We all know exceptions. I know of an exceptional one, who reads this LJ. But I'm not talking about people like that. I'm talking about the mass-majority of otherkin.
I think it's by the desire to be a "true form" that we even begin to learn what our "true form" really is. We inevitably begin to ponder that we don't even know what our soul is, or our spirit. We begin to ponder these things, because we have to. We're different, you see. We're different. But when we start looking...we stop seeing just how different we are, and start seeing similarities. It just takes some of us a long time, and a long hard road.
But nowadays, if a newb strolls onto the otherkin scene, and says, " I want my true form back" we squash them. Shove them down. Tell them, "you're a human, not supposed to be a dragon, get used to it." We don't let them stay in the mindset of truly wanting to be a dragon in reality again. We make them say what they don't really feel.
Me, I can say with all honesty, I'm a human. I can say this, because I've been through the dissapointment of wanting so bad to see myself as other. I've been there, done that. And I'd sure as hell say I'm stronger for it. Because we do what we do out of love for ourselves. We all really just want to be who we are. Not what we are. But who.
I miss the days when we could grow, in the loving support of a community of those like us, and become real people, not the cardboard cutout kin we're mass-producing now. These newbs...we're not allowing them to be real.
Yet, I cannot stand up and say to change this. Because I would be laughed at and ridiculed, no one would believe me. BEcause its' just not done anymore. Kin just don't grow up and learn. They come to the internet, find a FAQ, accept the answers, and that's that. That's it. They grow up with thsoe ideas as their own, and no one ever tells them different.
When did beliefe in the self, and not in the social identity, become the rareity? When did we stop wanting to be ourselves, and start wanting to be each other? Maybe it's always been there. I mean, I certainly admit to a bit of hero worship of other dragons. I know I certainly saw Raki and Ataramos, Athran and KaniS as these great dragons, to be admired for who and what they are. So even myself, I know that part, if not all, of my social and functional identity are based on these people I've met.
But I"m a firm believer in the concept of change. In teh concept that we each need to know who we are, through ourselves. Not through others. We each need to find who we are, by our own methods, our own ways. We're not clones.
-___- Then again, we are. We truly are.
I'll admit something. I still believe in the war. I really do. Against all teh odds, against all the voices, I will always believe in that war. Because it's who I am, to believe in that. Maybe that's waht makes me different, that I still hold on to the antiquated notions otherkin were once reviled for. Maybe that's why I'm writing this at all.
because I do still believe. I believe, because I am myself.
It's not typically understood anymore, I think. We've all become lost in trying to be what everyone is, no one really looks in themself anymore. No one gives the old advice. Everyone tells you to be introspective, to stand alone, but no one is willing anymore to show you anything, to teach.
Maybe that's why I mentor some now. Because I don't want little carbon copies. I want to see a thriving, healthy otherkin community with individuals. Not drones. Not littlings we've created in the image of ourselves.
We're not all going to be individuals, standing against the flow.
hell, I don't stand agains the flow most of the time. But I also don't let my identity be washed away in the flow.
Our world changed, with teh influx of strong minds. We all changed with it. Otherkin is...a word now. A word that is common and everywhere. We grow everyday.
And everyone just thinks it's so easy. Accept all the answers. Never have a stray thought about who you are. You are what everyone says you are. Conformity. Without even trying.
Is it that wrong, honestly, to want something different? To turn to the world and say, "Why can't all of you just be yourself?"
I don't know. It's such a strange and unusual thing to me, that we're all just trying to be ourselves, and yet...we're not.
LIving dreams, and yet, they're other people's dreams.
Too little work, too much simple acceptance. There was a time, when an otherkin had to work hard to understand. And now. We don't. We simply take what's given, and make it ours.
I get sick of seeing this so often. Conformity. so I suppose this is the end of this morning rant. An hour, I wrote this. I will probably come back later, and rewrite/edit/revise. Maybe post to an otherkin community or two. I don't know.
Where has all the magic gone?
You know, I found myself thinking recently, about just how much the otherkin world has changed since I came around. Or maybe it was just my youth that made me see it as I did.
Where did the old magic go? The magic that let a little jere like me (for those that don't know, jere being a female unmated dragon) go to Draconic.com, share my dreams, and get support.
We don't really support people anymore, do we? I regret the loss of thsoe days. The days when we didn't automatically shove down a newb for being a newb, when the older ones didn't assume they know more than the younger ones.
I miss the old days, even if they were the worst days.
*sighs* IT seems to me, the older we get, the less we're willing to understand what we were like, when we were newb otherkin. I remember the days of that, certainly.
-___- ;;; Hell, I remember the days when I was a dragon who didn't know what an otherkin was, and queried people on this.
Now, we have all these FAQs around, and people don't really THINK for themselves. And we're not really helping. We older ones (who aren't even the true older ones), see a newb, paint a sign on their forehead, and pat them on the head, tell them what's right, what's wrong, and send them on their way.
We tell them, certain kinds are welcome here. Oh, but we dont' tell them that those certain kinds aren't welcome. No, we say to them that some kinds...you just dont' want to hang out with. YOu wouldn't want to be heard to be talking to the crazies, afterall.
We all know a few of the crazies.
"I believe in getting my true form back"
" I believe I"m going to sprout wings, and i can feel them growing!"
"I believe in the Great War of the Otherkin."
"I believe that we should segregate."
"I believe I am the great and high Magus Master General"
"I believe that you are wrong, I am right."
It only really proves to me how very human we truly are. We can't get past human ideas, human prejudices.
Now honestly, do you really think some dragons, or elves, or any other, would say to their kin, "he's weird, don't talk to him. He thinks he's going to sprout these little wing things that don't even have any wingsail!" or "ewww, he's got some mental disease that makes him want to turn into a pale-bodied weak elvin thing."
I sincerely doubt it. Though I don't doubt we each had our own little racial prejudices. Hell, my clan had a racial prejudice against vegans. But only because vegetables could kill my clan. So our prejudice at least had a basis in reality.
But I think, in most cultures, other than human cultures, those oddities might even have been encouraged. We might have said to someone thinking that, that that was very interesting. We might have queried them as to the specifics, and drawn them to harden their beliefs, to understand why they think teh way that they do, outside of what we think ourselves.
It just strikes me lately how very much we've all changed. How many people have NEVER in their entire life wanted to be something other than a human? How many people can say this? I believe that that entire feeling is not only neccessary, but VITAL to being who you are. If you haven't longed to be something else with your whole soul, I don't think you can understand truly just how wonderful it is to be who you are.
Okay, so there are exceptions. We all know exceptions. I know of an exceptional one, who reads this LJ. But I'm not talking about people like that. I'm talking about the mass-majority of otherkin.
I think it's by the desire to be a "true form" that we even begin to learn what our "true form" really is. We inevitably begin to ponder that we don't even know what our soul is, or our spirit. We begin to ponder these things, because we have to. We're different, you see. We're different. But when we start looking...we stop seeing just how different we are, and start seeing similarities. It just takes some of us a long time, and a long hard road.
But nowadays, if a newb strolls onto the otherkin scene, and says, " I want my true form back" we squash them. Shove them down. Tell them, "you're a human, not supposed to be a dragon, get used to it." We don't let them stay in the mindset of truly wanting to be a dragon in reality again. We make them say what they don't really feel.
Me, I can say with all honesty, I'm a human. I can say this, because I've been through the dissapointment of wanting so bad to see myself as other. I've been there, done that. And I'd sure as hell say I'm stronger for it. Because we do what we do out of love for ourselves. We all really just want to be who we are. Not what we are. But who.
I miss the days when we could grow, in the loving support of a community of those like us, and become real people, not the cardboard cutout kin we're mass-producing now. These newbs...we're not allowing them to be real.
Yet, I cannot stand up and say to change this. Because I would be laughed at and ridiculed, no one would believe me. BEcause its' just not done anymore. Kin just don't grow up and learn. They come to the internet, find a FAQ, accept the answers, and that's that. That's it. They grow up with thsoe ideas as their own, and no one ever tells them different.
When did beliefe in the self, and not in the social identity, become the rareity? When did we stop wanting to be ourselves, and start wanting to be each other? Maybe it's always been there. I mean, I certainly admit to a bit of hero worship of other dragons. I know I certainly saw Raki and Ataramos, Athran and KaniS as these great dragons, to be admired for who and what they are. So even myself, I know that part, if not all, of my social and functional identity are based on these people I've met.
But I"m a firm believer in the concept of change. In teh concept that we each need to know who we are, through ourselves. Not through others. We each need to find who we are, by our own methods, our own ways. We're not clones.
-___- Then again, we are. We truly are.
I'll admit something. I still believe in the war. I really do. Against all teh odds, against all the voices, I will always believe in that war. Because it's who I am, to believe in that. Maybe that's waht makes me different, that I still hold on to the antiquated notions otherkin were once reviled for. Maybe that's why I'm writing this at all.
because I do still believe. I believe, because I am myself.
It's not typically understood anymore, I think. We've all become lost in trying to be what everyone is, no one really looks in themself anymore. No one gives the old advice. Everyone tells you to be introspective, to stand alone, but no one is willing anymore to show you anything, to teach.
Maybe that's why I mentor some now. Because I don't want little carbon copies. I want to see a thriving, healthy otherkin community with individuals. Not drones. Not littlings we've created in the image of ourselves.
We're not all going to be individuals, standing against the flow.
hell, I don't stand agains the flow most of the time. But I also don't let my identity be washed away in the flow.
Our world changed, with teh influx of strong minds. We all changed with it. Otherkin is...a word now. A word that is common and everywhere. We grow everyday.
And everyone just thinks it's so easy. Accept all the answers. Never have a stray thought about who you are. You are what everyone says you are. Conformity. Without even trying.
Is it that wrong, honestly, to want something different? To turn to the world and say, "Why can't all of you just be yourself?"
I don't know. It's such a strange and unusual thing to me, that we're all just trying to be ourselves, and yet...we're not.
LIving dreams, and yet, they're other people's dreams.
Too little work, too much simple acceptance. There was a time, when an otherkin had to work hard to understand. And now. We don't. We simply take what's given, and make it ours.
I get sick of seeing this so often. Conformity. so I suppose this is the end of this morning rant. An hour, I wrote this. I will probably come back later, and rewrite/edit/revise. Maybe post to an otherkin community or two. I don't know.