(no subject)
It's been a month and time for another update. A monthly update seems to suit me just fine. It gives me enough time to put together my thoughts and get the words in an order most fitting to my purposes.
One of the best and worst things about the way my life is setup right now is the lack of being in one place. With friends and family it allows you to cherish the time you have with them, but in your own personal life you can't make an long lasting connections. Anyone that I've met doesn't want a significant other who isn't there a significant amount of the time. What hurts most about it and has helped me to being to develop a thick skin is the fact that it makes a person feel unwanted.
As I've sated on multiple occasions, it'd be nice to travel with someone or have an intimate other that I could confide in. I can go to anyone of my destinations and see people walking hand-in-hand, smiling, laughing, and talking. What I don't see is the arguments, the selfishness, the small and large lies. Though I'm perfectly willing to take the good with the bad, I anticipate it. I manage to avoid talking about the desire to have someone to build something with and I realize that maybe it's just inherent with me. I think people read things in me that I'm putting out there without thinking. How do I stop; those signals from going out, them from reading those signals, or them reading the signals incorrectly?
To diverge back to my earlier topic-
One of the best things that I've found about my job is the travel aspect. I've found that I've become addicted, if I don't fly or travel every so often I start to get a little wound up. Right now is one of those times because on my FB feed I constantly keep talking about how I need to get out to San Francisco. It's just me needing to get back in the sky and on the road. I'll share an anecdote that emphasizes this. In H.S. I dated a girl that I saw every 3 months or so. So every 3 months I'd get laid besides doing the normal bf/gf thing of movies and dinners. After we broke up, I was distraught emotionally because I was invested in this relationship, however, I found out 3 months and then 6 months after we broke up that physically it felt like I was missing something. Besides the mental attachment I had made to this girl, my body had made a physical attachment. So I guess what I'm saying here is, that both my body and my mind know that somethings wrong when I'm in a place for entirely too long without jumping timezones, hitting 10,000 feet, or walking around a new and foreign city.
[Addendum-One of my co-workers has said about the same thing about being back home.]
So San Francisco here I come and look out. I'm gonna have to make up in four days of what I've missed for the past couple of months.
Later folks...