Triad Verse FAQs
These are answers to frequently asked questions regarding Triad Verse. These headcanons were developed by a small group of people, so if, during thinking about or writing in triad verse, you come to different answers, feel free to develop your own version of Triad Verse.
What is Triad Verse?
Triad Verse is an alteration of an existing fandom universe such that the majority of human cultures normalize triad relationships (those between three people), rather than couples. Couples are seen as "incomplete" and in many places are unable to get married without a third partner.
It's not all 1 dude 2 gals, is it? Do you think more male/male/female (MMF) triads, or more female/female/male (MFF) triads would occur?
This depends on the culture, the economic situation of the time period, and the gender balance of the society. Originally, when societies were first moving into an agricultural model, MFF triads became most common, because these triads result in more children. MMF triads still formed, but less often, especially if war had reduced the number of available men. Later on in the West, when Christianity happened, people began to model their relationships more on the Mary-Joseph-God (MMF) triad and these triads became more popular, especially among the nobility. MMF triads also become more popular during hard economic times, because it means fewer mouths to feed.
What sorts of sexualities and gender identities occur in Triad Verse?
The same sorts as in our verse, but in different proportions. In triad verse, the majority of people are cisgendered and bisexual/pansexual. Monosexual people occur at a low rate (10% of the population) and are divided about 60/40 heterosexual/homosexual. Intersex, bigender, agender, and transgender people occur at similar rates, but they are much more open about their identities, especially in cultures where the ideal triad is male-female-third gender. In some cultures, intersex people present as the gender they appear most like outwardly, but in some (and depending on the person), they more visibly advertise their intersex nature, in order to draw couples looking for their "ideal" third.
Where do asexual people fit in?
Asexual people are not always aromantic. They'd fit into triads as they saw fit, though they'd want to make their partners aware of their disinterest in sex before the relationship became committed. Often times, asexual people seek each other out and form triads with each other. There can also be people who really prefer to be in a couple, but make friends with an asexual, and probably aromantic person, who stands in as their "beard" so to speak, so the couple gets less criticism from their society. Before dyad marriages are approved, couples ask these people to be their third in order to gain the legal protections that come with being married.
What about same-sex triads (MMM and FFF)?
Same-sex triads have always occurred at a low rate, but only recently are they living more openly. These triads cannot conceive children in the absence of outside help, and thus were discriminated against for a long time. Even MM-Transwoman and FF-Transman triads were more accepted, even if the Trans person couldn't necessarily "pass". For this reason, most of the historical MMM and FFF triads included at least one member who presented as the opposite sex, even if it wasn't necessarily true to their identity.
Do couples exist?
Couples routinely form, but are often considered "incomplete" and it's assumed that the couple will continue dating single people, looking for their third. This sort of couple is called a "primer" couple. There are also couples (often but not always consisting of monosexual heterosexual people) who don't feel the need to find a third, despite the pressure from society. These couples are considered "weird", "unbalanced", and even a little selfish for not making room in their relationship for someone else.
Do higher-order relationships (tetrads, quintads, etc) exist)?
They do exist, but very rarely and these relationships almost never last for very long. Tetrads (four people) are the most common higher-order relationships, and usually form when two primer couples meet and are attracted to each other.
What kinds of social equality movements exist which wouldn't occur in our verse?
Dyad (Couple) Pride would be a big one, as well as Same-sex Triad Pride, Monosexual Pride, and Intersex Pride (which would form in cultures where intersex people are either ignored or fetishized).
How do surnames work in Triad Verse?
In many cultures, especially Western cultures, patriarchy dictates surnames. In MFF relationships, both wives take the husband's surname. In MMF relationships, often one man was considered the "lord" husband and the other the "swain" husband. (Swain is another word for younger man. It's somewhat analogous to "maiden".) In this case, both the wife and the swain husband would take the lord husband's name, as would any of their children. In other, less patriarchal societies, each of the spouses keep their own surname, and children are given the surname of their birth mother.
In MFF relationships, what do children call their non-biological mother? In MMF relationships, what do children call their two fathers? How do people address their grandparents?
It's easy to tell who's your biological mother, so the language would reflect that. In most English-speaking cultures, children call their biological mother mom, mommy, or ma. They call their non-biological mother mima, which is actually slang for milk-mother, since it was common for wives to breastfeed each other's babies.
As for two father families, the husbands work out for themselves who wants to be called what. Usually people use Dad/Daddy and Pop/Papa as the two names, though sometimes people use other variations.
Grandparents are called according to their relationship to each parent. Your bio-mom's bio-mom is your Grandmama. Your mima's bio-mom is your Grandmima. Your mima's mima is your Grandmimi. Your mima's father is your Grandmidad or Grandmipapa. Your dad's bio-mom is your Granddadma. These get a little long-winded, so people most of the time stick to Grandma and Grandpa, with the other names being used in order to distinguish between different grandparents. One child with three parents, each of whom has three of their own parents gives nine grandparents. That's a lot of family members to keep track of, but it's also a great support network. One of the ways people argue against forming couples is by saying, "But your children would only have six grandparents!"
How do wedding rings work?
(Specific for Western culture, would not be the same in other parts of the world.) Committed primer couples both wear rings on the ring fingers of their right hands. There is no ceremony that goes along with wearing these rings, though there's often a proposal. Breaking one of these engagements is difficult, but not unheard of. It's similar to living with someone and then breaking up. These rings let other people know that the person in question is not single, and should not be approached romantically by a couple.
Once the primer couple finds a third which they want to marry, and they get engaged, all three of them wear rings on their right hand, while the women wear distinctive engagement rings on their left hands. Some modern women forgo the engagement ring and just wear the right-hand ring until the marriage ceremony.
When Triads get married, for which there is a ceremony, each of the members of the triad wears one ring on the right hand and one or two rings on the left hand (two rings if a woman had an engagement ring as well). Wearing a ring on each hand is a symbol of one's equal commitment to both their spouses and the balance that a triad marriage is supposed to provide.
What happens if a primer couple has children without a third spouse?
In most, but not all, countries, these couples are granted "domestic partnership" if they choose to seek it out, in order to legally protect the children. These domestic partnerships do not carry the same protections as marriage and people in them (as well as their children sometimes) are often looked down upon.
What happens if one of the members of a triad dies?
The two people remaining are considered a "standing couple" and retain the rights and privileges they had when their third was still alive. However, should they find a single person they want to bring into the marriage, remarriage is perfectly legal. In countries where divorce is difficult, the severing of ties between the two people in a standing couple is much easier. This ease is due to the fact that grief often tears the standing couple apart. For every case where the standing couple stays together, there's another where they split apart and move on with their lives. Dissolution of the standing couple is less easy when children are involved, but still easier than divorce.
Does divorce happen? Do all the people divorce, or can two people stay together?
Divorce happens much less often than in our verse, because there is a third person in the relationship to break standoffs and negotiate compromises to conflicts. Also, people tend to have long histories of same-sex sexual activity before marriage, which informs their decisions to get married in the first place. For these reasons, divorce is generally more frowned upon than it is in our verse. However, divorce does happen. Usually it's the result of infidelity (say a man marries two women, but then decides he wants to have a male lover on the side; or vice versa), or abuse, but sometimes it's just people growing apart. In the case of divorce, the "standing couple" has similar protections as "widowed" couples. However, these protections look much more like the "domestic partnership" given to couples who have children out of wedlock than they do the full protections widowed couples retain.
What is a rolling marriage?
Rolling marriages occur when one member of a triad leaves or dies (Say A out of an ABC relationship), and the standing couple (B and C) remarry (D). Then another of the original triad dies or leaves and the standing couple (C and D perhaps) remarry (E). This continues on until none of the members of the marriage are original to it. It's less common to call a marriage a rolling marriage if a person from the marriage was single at some point before getting remarried. If older couples marry significantly younger thirds, these marriages can span decades.
Are restaurants any different in Triad Verse? Vehicles? Beds? Houses?
Restaurants tend to have tables that seat multiples of three. You see small triangular-shaped tables for intimate date nights, and larger six-or-nine seat tables for families. Cars always have three seats in the front, and three seats on each row of back seats (though some bigger vans have four seats in the back). Because of this, cars and therefore traffic lanes, are a bit wider than in our verse. Larger vehicles are more common, because each family tends to have more people. Three-seat sports cars exist.
Couches all have space for three to sit, at least. Beds usually come king sized, though twin and full sizes are popular for children and single people. Sometimes people buy queen sized beds, but they're harder to come by and more expensive than they should be for the size.
Houses are larger, to house bigger families. In suburban areas, the houses are further apart, but in the city, they tend to be closely packed, in order to increase population density. Generally there is a master bedroom, as well as at least two, if not more, bedrooms for children. Two bedroom houses and apartments are almost unheard of. Single bedroom units are also rare, as people tend to be more used to living in close proximity to others and most adults, if they aren't part of a primer couple, live with roommates. Sometimes primer couples even live with other primer couples, each couple looking for their third.
How is incest viewed in Triad Verse? Does one person ever marry two siblings?
Incest is still taboo in triad verse, and applies to one's full and half siblings alike. It also applies to one's non-biological mother, or mima, even though she cannot be related to you by blood. In the past, one person marrying two same-sex siblings was more common, but it's a practice that fell out of favor a long time ago in most cultures. Two same-sex cousins marrying the same person is much more common (and less taboo), though is becoming less common as time goes by and it becomes more regular to meet and know people who are not your cousins.
How does music/literature/media differ in Triad Verse?
Duets and trios are much more popular in triad verse than they are in our verse. Three-part harmonies are revered as the most beautiful, so duets sound strangely sparse and solos almost melancholy. Some genera of literature, movies, and such are very similar, while others (like romance) are quite different. Romantic comedies often focus on a primer couple looking for a third, and rarely on primer couples forming in the first place. There's this myth in society that forming a primer couple is easy, even though it can be just as complicated as any other interpersonal relationship. Romantic literature, as well as tv shows, tend to delve more into primer couple formation than movies do, because they have more time with the characters.
If you have any other questions, you can ask them here.
What is Triad Verse?
Triad Verse is an alteration of an existing fandom universe such that the majority of human cultures normalize triad relationships (those between three people), rather than couples. Couples are seen as "incomplete" and in many places are unable to get married without a third partner.
It's not all 1 dude 2 gals, is it? Do you think more male/male/female (MMF) triads, or more female/female/male (MFF) triads would occur?
This depends on the culture, the economic situation of the time period, and the gender balance of the society. Originally, when societies were first moving into an agricultural model, MFF triads became most common, because these triads result in more children. MMF triads still formed, but less often, especially if war had reduced the number of available men. Later on in the West, when Christianity happened, people began to model their relationships more on the Mary-Joseph-God (MMF) triad and these triads became more popular, especially among the nobility. MMF triads also become more popular during hard economic times, because it means fewer mouths to feed.
What sorts of sexualities and gender identities occur in Triad Verse?
The same sorts as in our verse, but in different proportions. In triad verse, the majority of people are cisgendered and bisexual/pansexual. Monosexual people occur at a low rate (10% of the population) and are divided about 60/40 heterosexual/homosexual. Intersex, bigender, agender, and transgender people occur at similar rates, but they are much more open about their identities, especially in cultures where the ideal triad is male-female-third gender. In some cultures, intersex people present as the gender they appear most like outwardly, but in some (and depending on the person), they more visibly advertise their intersex nature, in order to draw couples looking for their "ideal" third.
Where do asexual people fit in?
Asexual people are not always aromantic. They'd fit into triads as they saw fit, though they'd want to make their partners aware of their disinterest in sex before the relationship became committed. Often times, asexual people seek each other out and form triads with each other. There can also be people who really prefer to be in a couple, but make friends with an asexual, and probably aromantic person, who stands in as their "beard" so to speak, so the couple gets less criticism from their society. Before dyad marriages are approved, couples ask these people to be their third in order to gain the legal protections that come with being married.
What about same-sex triads (MMM and FFF)?
Same-sex triads have always occurred at a low rate, but only recently are they living more openly. These triads cannot conceive children in the absence of outside help, and thus were discriminated against for a long time. Even MM-Transwoman and FF-Transman triads were more accepted, even if the Trans person couldn't necessarily "pass". For this reason, most of the historical MMM and FFF triads included at least one member who presented as the opposite sex, even if it wasn't necessarily true to their identity.
Do couples exist?
Couples routinely form, but are often considered "incomplete" and it's assumed that the couple will continue dating single people, looking for their third. This sort of couple is called a "primer" couple. There are also couples (often but not always consisting of monosexual heterosexual people) who don't feel the need to find a third, despite the pressure from society. These couples are considered "weird", "unbalanced", and even a little selfish for not making room in their relationship for someone else.
Do higher-order relationships (tetrads, quintads, etc) exist)?
They do exist, but very rarely and these relationships almost never last for very long. Tetrads (four people) are the most common higher-order relationships, and usually form when two primer couples meet and are attracted to each other.
What kinds of social equality movements exist which wouldn't occur in our verse?
Dyad (Couple) Pride would be a big one, as well as Same-sex Triad Pride, Monosexual Pride, and Intersex Pride (which would form in cultures where intersex people are either ignored or fetishized).
How do surnames work in Triad Verse?
In many cultures, especially Western cultures, patriarchy dictates surnames. In MFF relationships, both wives take the husband's surname. In MMF relationships, often one man was considered the "lord" husband and the other the "swain" husband. (Swain is another word for younger man. It's somewhat analogous to "maiden".) In this case, both the wife and the swain husband would take the lord husband's name, as would any of their children. In other, less patriarchal societies, each of the spouses keep their own surname, and children are given the surname of their birth mother.
In MFF relationships, what do children call their non-biological mother? In MMF relationships, what do children call their two fathers? How do people address their grandparents?
It's easy to tell who's your biological mother, so the language would reflect that. In most English-speaking cultures, children call their biological mother mom, mommy, or ma. They call their non-biological mother mima, which is actually slang for milk-mother, since it was common for wives to breastfeed each other's babies.
As for two father families, the husbands work out for themselves who wants to be called what. Usually people use Dad/Daddy and Pop/Papa as the two names, though sometimes people use other variations.
Grandparents are called according to their relationship to each parent. Your bio-mom's bio-mom is your Grandmama. Your mima's bio-mom is your Grandmima. Your mima's mima is your Grandmimi. Your mima's father is your Grandmidad or Grandmipapa. Your dad's bio-mom is your Granddadma. These get a little long-winded, so people most of the time stick to Grandma and Grandpa, with the other names being used in order to distinguish between different grandparents. One child with three parents, each of whom has three of their own parents gives nine grandparents. That's a lot of family members to keep track of, but it's also a great support network. One of the ways people argue against forming couples is by saying, "But your children would only have six grandparents!"
How do wedding rings work?
(Specific for Western culture, would not be the same in other parts of the world.) Committed primer couples both wear rings on the ring fingers of their right hands. There is no ceremony that goes along with wearing these rings, though there's often a proposal. Breaking one of these engagements is difficult, but not unheard of. It's similar to living with someone and then breaking up. These rings let other people know that the person in question is not single, and should not be approached romantically by a couple.
Once the primer couple finds a third which they want to marry, and they get engaged, all three of them wear rings on their right hand, while the women wear distinctive engagement rings on their left hands. Some modern women forgo the engagement ring and just wear the right-hand ring until the marriage ceremony.
When Triads get married, for which there is a ceremony, each of the members of the triad wears one ring on the right hand and one or two rings on the left hand (two rings if a woman had an engagement ring as well). Wearing a ring on each hand is a symbol of one's equal commitment to both their spouses and the balance that a triad marriage is supposed to provide.
What happens if a primer couple has children without a third spouse?
In most, but not all, countries, these couples are granted "domestic partnership" if they choose to seek it out, in order to legally protect the children. These domestic partnerships do not carry the same protections as marriage and people in them (as well as their children sometimes) are often looked down upon.
What happens if one of the members of a triad dies?
The two people remaining are considered a "standing couple" and retain the rights and privileges they had when their third was still alive. However, should they find a single person they want to bring into the marriage, remarriage is perfectly legal. In countries where divorce is difficult, the severing of ties between the two people in a standing couple is much easier. This ease is due to the fact that grief often tears the standing couple apart. For every case where the standing couple stays together, there's another where they split apart and move on with their lives. Dissolution of the standing couple is less easy when children are involved, but still easier than divorce.
Does divorce happen? Do all the people divorce, or can two people stay together?
Divorce happens much less often than in our verse, because there is a third person in the relationship to break standoffs and negotiate compromises to conflicts. Also, people tend to have long histories of same-sex sexual activity before marriage, which informs their decisions to get married in the first place. For these reasons, divorce is generally more frowned upon than it is in our verse. However, divorce does happen. Usually it's the result of infidelity (say a man marries two women, but then decides he wants to have a male lover on the side; or vice versa), or abuse, but sometimes it's just people growing apart. In the case of divorce, the "standing couple" has similar protections as "widowed" couples. However, these protections look much more like the "domestic partnership" given to couples who have children out of wedlock than they do the full protections widowed couples retain.
What is a rolling marriage?
Rolling marriages occur when one member of a triad leaves or dies (Say A out of an ABC relationship), and the standing couple (B and C) remarry (D). Then another of the original triad dies or leaves and the standing couple (C and D perhaps) remarry (E). This continues on until none of the members of the marriage are original to it. It's less common to call a marriage a rolling marriage if a person from the marriage was single at some point before getting remarried. If older couples marry significantly younger thirds, these marriages can span decades.
Are restaurants any different in Triad Verse? Vehicles? Beds? Houses?
Restaurants tend to have tables that seat multiples of three. You see small triangular-shaped tables for intimate date nights, and larger six-or-nine seat tables for families. Cars always have three seats in the front, and three seats on each row of back seats (though some bigger vans have four seats in the back). Because of this, cars and therefore traffic lanes, are a bit wider than in our verse. Larger vehicles are more common, because each family tends to have more people. Three-seat sports cars exist.
Couches all have space for three to sit, at least. Beds usually come king sized, though twin and full sizes are popular for children and single people. Sometimes people buy queen sized beds, but they're harder to come by and more expensive than they should be for the size.
Houses are larger, to house bigger families. In suburban areas, the houses are further apart, but in the city, they tend to be closely packed, in order to increase population density. Generally there is a master bedroom, as well as at least two, if not more, bedrooms for children. Two bedroom houses and apartments are almost unheard of. Single bedroom units are also rare, as people tend to be more used to living in close proximity to others and most adults, if they aren't part of a primer couple, live with roommates. Sometimes primer couples even live with other primer couples, each couple looking for their third.
How is incest viewed in Triad Verse? Does one person ever marry two siblings?
Incest is still taboo in triad verse, and applies to one's full and half siblings alike. It also applies to one's non-biological mother, or mima, even though she cannot be related to you by blood. In the past, one person marrying two same-sex siblings was more common, but it's a practice that fell out of favor a long time ago in most cultures. Two same-sex cousins marrying the same person is much more common (and less taboo), though is becoming less common as time goes by and it becomes more regular to meet and know people who are not your cousins.
How does music/literature/media differ in Triad Verse?
Duets and trios are much more popular in triad verse than they are in our verse. Three-part harmonies are revered as the most beautiful, so duets sound strangely sparse and solos almost melancholy. Some genera of literature, movies, and such are very similar, while others (like romance) are quite different. Romantic comedies often focus on a primer couple looking for a third, and rarely on primer couples forming in the first place. There's this myth in society that forming a primer couple is easy, even though it can be just as complicated as any other interpersonal relationship. Romantic literature, as well as tv shows, tend to delve more into primer couple formation than movies do, because they have more time with the characters.
If you have any other questions, you can ask them here.