Why I love my dad...
This is a conversation I had with him today that made me laugh. I thought I should share...
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:hi daddy
Tim says:hi
Tim says:hi
Tim says:hi
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:lol
Tim says:who's got sprained ankles
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says: you need to see the movie Why We Fight
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:no one
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:Its from a really poorly written story that I read online
Tim says:If you're talking about Frank Capra's Why We Fight, I saw it many, many years ago
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:no, its a documentary about the war in Iraq
Tim says:Oh, THAT Why We Fight
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:though I know which films you are thinking about
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:Eugene Jarecki's Why We Fight
Tim says:Never heard of him
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:http://www.sonyclassics.com/whywefight/
Tim says:So what's Gene's point? Why DO we fight?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:his point is that the public doesn't know why
Tim says:OK, so why doesn't he tell us?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:he does
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:daddy--you really want to buy my ticket home, don't you?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:*puppy dog eyes*
Tim says:Why would I want to do that, and what does it have to do with Why We Fight?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:because you loooove me, and it doesn't
Tim says:OK, let's go the first page of the Daddy's Handbook:
Tim says:What did your mother say?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:she would pay me back when I get home(if she remembers)
Tim says:OK, and the problem with this is....?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:that I don't want to pay for it hahaha
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:what does the daddy handbook say to that?
Tim says:Like most issues, it says "Ask Your Mother"
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Tim says:So how much is a ticket home?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:$34
Tim says:How badly do you want to come home?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:hahaha
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:well, you know, there is that whole baby thing...
Tim says:You're pregnant?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:12 months pregnant with septuplets
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:can't you tell?
Tim says:In that case, you can't come home at all
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:hahaha
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:this is why you're my favorite daddy
Tim says:Talk to the daddy of your septuplets
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:(now your turn, say "You're my favorite daughter")\
Tim says:Yeah, what you said
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:come on! say it
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:you know what, I'll count that
I'm his favorite! says::D
Tim says:
Sometimes you just gotta know when you've got the best you're gonna get
I'm his favorite! says:oh burn
I'm his favorite! says:you're not my favorite anymore
Tim says:Rats!
I'm his favorite! says:lmao, who actually says that anymore?
Tim says:You'd prefer "Curses"?
Rats says:HAHAHAHA
Rats says:oh man
Rats says:yes
Tim says:So, anyway, how do you get home on $34?
Curses! says:airport shuttle
Tim says:Gotta admit, I didn't see that coming. Airport shuttle?
Curses! says:yes...
Tim says:Sounds like that only gets you to the airport. Still a long walk home
Curses! says:mom is going to come and get me
Tim says:But only if you pay the tab up front...
Tim says:How about if I co-sign on her promissory note?
Curses! says:bah
Curses! says:lol
Curses! says:fine, i'll do it
Tim says:well, fine, then
Tim says:Just FINE
Curses! says:you're starting to sound like me...
Tim says:I was me long before you were me
Curses! says:I am not you
Curses! says:oh god....I *AM* you...
Curses! says::D
Tim says:
My world and welcome to it
Curses! says:but I have prettier handwriting, so I guess that makes it ok
Tim says:I'm not sure how, but OK, if you say so
Curses! says:you have tiny guy writing...
Curses! says:that would just be weird if I had your handwriting
Tim says:I woldn't wish my handwriting on anyone
Curses! says:you woldn't?
Tim says:Nasty
Tim says:I woldn't wish my type off on anyone, either
Curses! says: PLEASE NOTE:
* An additional, regulated fuel surcharge will be added to your total.
Tim says:Yeah, I know typing
Curses! says:haha
Curses! says:seriously? they are charging us for fuel
Tim says:Who is?
Curses! says:the shuttle people
Tim says:What do you think their shuttle runs on?
Curses! says:laughing gas
Tim says:There you go. Gotta have a surcharge on that
Tim says:Or everybody would be sniffing the tank
Curses! says:naw, that stuff makes me puke
Curses! says:There is a reason I puked the last 4 times I went to the dentist
:D
Tim says:It's not the gas. You're just a chicken
Curses! says:no, I'll feel fine and then...BLURPAASDFKLJA all over the hygienists
Tim says:That's why the make the big bucks
Curses! says:haha
Tim says:You might not want to mention that to them the next time you go in
Curses! says:the hygienists at my orthodontists office all wear matching outfits from American Eagle...it's kinda cute, but really just creepy
Tim says:Sounds like something from The Stepford Wives
Curses! says:basically
Tim says:So when are you coming home?
Curses! says:21st
Tim says:That soon, huh?
Curses! says:yup
Curses! says:start baby proofing the house again, you never know what I am going to walk into
Tim says:If you walk in with a baby, be prepared to keep on walkin'
Curses! says:hahahaha
Curses! says:I'll keep that in mind
Tim says:Firmly in mind
Curses! says:because you know me, Ms. Slutty Mcwhoresalot
Tim says:I know all you college types
Tim says:I watch TV
Tim says:I even watched MTV once
Curses! says:seriously, mom has told me stories about you, mister. If anyone fits into the college stereotypes, it would be you, not me
Tim says:I'm one of those COOL dads
Curses! says:hahaha
Curses! says:riiiiiiiiiiiii
Curses! says:iiiiiiii
Curses! says:iiiiiiiight
Tim says:Your mother saw me falling down drunk ONE TIME, and she's making me out to be a lush
Curses! says:hahahahahahahaha
Curses! says:I know
Curses! says:it's great
Tim says:Actually, I wasn't even drunk by the time she saw me. I was WAY too sick to be doing any drinking
Curses! says:You've been drunk (That mom knows of..) once, and I have never been drunk
Curses! says:so you're worse
Curses! says:i win!
Tim says:I've been drunk more than once, Miss Goody TwoShoes
Curses! says:I believe it
Curses! says::)
Curses! says:
I still win
Tim says:But I got smart enough to stop doing it, so I win!
Curses! says:I didn't have to do it to be smart enough to stop
Tim says:If you don't start, you can't stop
Curses! says:I just skipped right over that step
Tim says:See, that's what I mean about the younger generation. Always skipping the details
Curses! says:and btw, I am so telling mom that you called me a goody twoshoes
Tim says:And?
Curses! says:she is going to be maaaaaaad
Curses! says:because that implies that I should get drunk
Curses! says:and you KNOW mom would never stand for that
Tim says:No, it implies you should stop feeling superior
Curses! says:but I am superior
Curses! says:*bats eyes* haha
Tim says:It ain't parnoia if people are really after you?
Curses! says:...
Tim says:So it ain't meglomainia if you really ARE better than everyone else
Curses! says:Exactly!
Curses! says:o0o Megalomaniac is a good song
Tim says:Sounds like a good name for a rock band
Curses! says:if you can tell me who that song is by, I'll give you a cookie
Curses! says:btw, you still owe me a cookie
Curses! says:I don't remember what for, but you do
Tim says:If you can get me to care who is was by, I'll give you two cookies
Curses! says:pfft. that's like saying "I'll give you a cookie if you can make George Bush intelligent"
Curses! says:its Mission: Impossible
Curses! says:it's*
Tim says:Intelligent, maybe not. But President, yep
Curses! says:well, at least you've seen the light
Curses! says:and there is no rule that says you have to respect the president
Tim says:Well, respect or not, he's got his finger on the Button. Sleep on that, if you can
Curses! says:seriously, go rent Why We Fight
Curses! says:now
Curses! says:chop chop
Tim says:Yeah, right
Curses! says:fear the Military Industrial Complex!
Curses! says:haha
Tim says:What are you, Eisenhower?
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:duh
Tim says:No, Ike
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:yes ike?
Tim says:No, I Like Ike
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:I have no idea where you are going with this
Tim says:Superior, huh?
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:well, sometimes it is difficult for us superiors to come down off our pedestals and communicate on the level of you... lowly commoners
Tim says:Besides, it military-industrial, not industrial-complex
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:bah fine
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I've only seen it, never read it
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I'm still saving this conversation as blackmail
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:hahaha
Tim says:OK, little Miss Goody TwoShoes KnowItAll, Eisenhower is the one who coined the phrase military-industrial complex.
Tim says:Ike was his nickname
Tim says:I Like Ike was his campaign slogan
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I know that
Tim says:Yeah, you knew that. Sure
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I just didn't understand why you felt the need to say Ike over and over again
Tim says:I like ike
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:he said "Fear the military industrial complex" in his fair well speech
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:and seriously, who doesn't know what his campaign slogan was?
Tim says:Is that anything like a farewell speech
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:It was in his fair well speech
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:do you really want to take me to the mat for that?
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:you will not win that one
Tim says:Well, I Like Ike was his better-known slogan. It was more catchy than Adlai's a Dope
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:haha
Tim says:Hey, speaking of Ike, I gotta a war to fight
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:noooooooooooooooooo
Tim says:Which brings us back to Why We Fight
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:child abandonment!
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:abandonment!
Tim says:Yeah, well, do try to bear up under the burden
well, it gets freakishly political from there, and I'm sure you're already bored to tears, but I was amused
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:hi daddy
Tim says:hi
Tim says:hi
Tim says:hi
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:lol
Tim says:who's got sprained ankles
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says: you need to see the movie Why We Fight
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:no one
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:Its from a really poorly written story that I read online
Tim says:If you're talking about Frank Capra's Why We Fight, I saw it many, many years ago
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:no, its a documentary about the war in Iraq
Tim says:Oh, THAT Why We Fight
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:though I know which films you are thinking about
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:Eugene Jarecki's Why We Fight
Tim says:Never heard of him
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:http://www.sonyclassics.com/whywefight/
Tim says:So what's Gene's point? Why DO we fight?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:his point is that the public doesn't know why
Tim says:OK, so why doesn't he tell us?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:he does
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:daddy--you really want to buy my ticket home, don't you?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:*puppy dog eyes*
Tim says:Why would I want to do that, and what does it have to do with Why We Fight?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:because you loooove me, and it doesn't
Tim says:OK, let's go the first page of the Daddy's Handbook:
Tim says:What did your mother say?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:she would pay me back when I get home(if she remembers)
Tim says:OK, and the problem with this is....?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:that I don't want to pay for it hahaha
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:what does the daddy handbook say to that?
Tim says:Like most issues, it says "Ask Your Mother"
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Tim says:So how much is a ticket home?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:$34
Tim says:How badly do you want to come home?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:hahaha
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:well, you know, there is that whole baby thing...
Tim says:You're pregnant?
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:12 months pregnant with septuplets
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:can't you tell?
Tim says:In that case, you can't come home at all
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:hahaha
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:this is why you're my favorite daddy
Tim says:Talk to the daddy of your septuplets
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:(now your turn, say "You're my favorite daughter")\
Tim says:Yeah, what you said
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:come on! say it
A bad case of the sprained ankles? More like a bad case of the melodramas says:you know what, I'll count that
I'm his favorite! says::D
Tim says:
Sometimes you just gotta know when you've got the best you're gonna get
I'm his favorite! says:oh burn
I'm his favorite! says:you're not my favorite anymore
Tim says:Rats!
I'm his favorite! says:lmao, who actually says that anymore?
Tim says:You'd prefer "Curses"?
Rats says:HAHAHAHA
Rats says:oh man
Rats says:yes
Tim says:So, anyway, how do you get home on $34?
Curses! says:airport shuttle
Tim says:Gotta admit, I didn't see that coming. Airport shuttle?
Curses! says:yes...
Tim says:Sounds like that only gets you to the airport. Still a long walk home
Curses! says:mom is going to come and get me
Tim says:But only if you pay the tab up front...
Tim says:How about if I co-sign on her promissory note?
Curses! says:bah
Curses! says:lol
Curses! says:fine, i'll do it
Tim says:well, fine, then
Tim says:Just FINE
Curses! says:you're starting to sound like me...
Tim says:I was me long before you were me
Curses! says:I am not you
Curses! says:oh god....I *AM* you...
Curses! says::D
Tim says:
My world and welcome to it
Curses! says:but I have prettier handwriting, so I guess that makes it ok
Tim says:I'm not sure how, but OK, if you say so
Curses! says:you have tiny guy writing...
Curses! says:that would just be weird if I had your handwriting
Tim says:I woldn't wish my handwriting on anyone
Curses! says:you woldn't?
Tim says:Nasty
Tim says:I woldn't wish my type off on anyone, either
Curses! says: PLEASE NOTE:
* An additional, regulated fuel surcharge will be added to your total.
Tim says:Yeah, I know typing
Curses! says:haha
Curses! says:seriously? they are charging us for fuel
Tim says:Who is?
Curses! says:the shuttle people
Tim says:What do you think their shuttle runs on?
Curses! says:laughing gas
Tim says:There you go. Gotta have a surcharge on that
Tim says:Or everybody would be sniffing the tank
Curses! says:naw, that stuff makes me puke
Curses! says:There is a reason I puked the last 4 times I went to the dentist
:D
Tim says:It's not the gas. You're just a chicken
Curses! says:no, I'll feel fine and then...BLURPAASDFKLJA all over the hygienists
Tim says:That's why the make the big bucks
Curses! says:haha
Tim says:You might not want to mention that to them the next time you go in
Curses! says:the hygienists at my orthodontists office all wear matching outfits from American Eagle...it's kinda cute, but really just creepy
Tim says:Sounds like something from The Stepford Wives
Curses! says:basically
Tim says:So when are you coming home?
Curses! says:21st
Tim says:That soon, huh?
Curses! says:yup
Curses! says:start baby proofing the house again, you never know what I am going to walk into
Tim says:If you walk in with a baby, be prepared to keep on walkin'
Curses! says:hahahaha
Curses! says:I'll keep that in mind
Tim says:Firmly in mind
Curses! says:because you know me, Ms. Slutty Mcwhoresalot
Tim says:I know all you college types
Tim says:I watch TV
Tim says:I even watched MTV once
Curses! says:seriously, mom has told me stories about you, mister. If anyone fits into the college stereotypes, it would be you, not me
Tim says:I'm one of those COOL dads
Curses! says:hahaha
Curses! says:riiiiiiiiiiiii
Curses! says:iiiiiiii
Curses! says:iiiiiiiight
Tim says:Your mother saw me falling down drunk ONE TIME, and she's making me out to be a lush
Curses! says:hahahahahahahaha
Curses! says:I know
Curses! says:it's great
Tim says:Actually, I wasn't even drunk by the time she saw me. I was WAY too sick to be doing any drinking
Curses! says:You've been drunk (That mom knows of..) once, and I have never been drunk
Curses! says:so you're worse
Curses! says:i win!
Tim says:I've been drunk more than once, Miss Goody TwoShoes
Curses! says:I believe it
Curses! says::)
Curses! says:
I still win
Tim says:But I got smart enough to stop doing it, so I win!
Curses! says:I didn't have to do it to be smart enough to stop
Tim says:If you don't start, you can't stop
Curses! says:I just skipped right over that step
Tim says:See, that's what I mean about the younger generation. Always skipping the details
Curses! says:and btw, I am so telling mom that you called me a goody twoshoes
Tim says:And?
Curses! says:she is going to be maaaaaaad
Curses! says:because that implies that I should get drunk
Curses! says:and you KNOW mom would never stand for that
Tim says:No, it implies you should stop feeling superior
Curses! says:but I am superior
Curses! says:*bats eyes* haha
Tim says:It ain't parnoia if people are really after you?
Curses! says:...
Tim says:So it ain't meglomainia if you really ARE better than everyone else
Curses! says:Exactly!
Curses! says:o0o Megalomaniac is a good song
Tim says:Sounds like a good name for a rock band
Curses! says:if you can tell me who that song is by, I'll give you a cookie
Curses! says:btw, you still owe me a cookie
Curses! says:I don't remember what for, but you do
Tim says:If you can get me to care who is was by, I'll give you two cookies
Curses! says:pfft. that's like saying "I'll give you a cookie if you can make George Bush intelligent"
Curses! says:its Mission: Impossible
Curses! says:it's*
Tim says:Intelligent, maybe not. But President, yep
Curses! says:well, at least you've seen the light
Curses! says:and there is no rule that says you have to respect the president
Tim says:Well, respect or not, he's got his finger on the Button. Sleep on that, if you can
Curses! says:seriously, go rent Why We Fight
Curses! says:now
Curses! says:chop chop
Tim says:Yeah, right
Curses! says:fear the Military Industrial Complex!
Curses! says:haha
Tim says:What are you, Eisenhower?
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:duh
Tim says:No, Ike
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:yes ike?
Tim says:No, I Like Ike
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:I have no idea where you are going with this
Tim says:Superior, huh?
Holy Military Industrial-Complex, Batman! says:well, sometimes it is difficult for us superiors to come down off our pedestals and communicate on the level of you... lowly commoners
Tim says:Besides, it military-industrial, not industrial-complex
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:bah fine
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I've only seen it, never read it
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I'm still saving this conversation as blackmail
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:hahaha
Tim says:OK, little Miss Goody TwoShoes KnowItAll, Eisenhower is the one who coined the phrase military-industrial complex.
Tim says:Ike was his nickname
Tim says:I Like Ike was his campaign slogan
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I know that
Tim says:Yeah, you knew that. Sure
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:I just didn't understand why you felt the need to say Ike over and over again
Tim says:I like ike
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:he said "Fear the military industrial complex" in his fair well speech
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:and seriously, who doesn't know what his campaign slogan was?
Tim says:Is that anything like a farewell speech
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:It was in his fair well speech
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:do you really want to take me to the mat for that?
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:you will not win that one
Tim says:Well, I Like Ike was his better-known slogan. It was more catchy than Adlai's a Dope
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:haha
Tim says:Hey, speaking of Ike, I gotta a war to fight
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:noooooooooooooooooo
Tim says:Which brings us back to Why We Fight
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:child abandonment!
Holy Military-Industrial Complex, Batman! says:abandonment!
Tim says:Yeah, well, do try to bear up under the burden
well, it gets freakishly political from there, and I'm sure you're already bored to tears, but I was amused