Weightless Guilt; Claude/Bennet; Heroes; NC17

[tricias_flaunt]

Title: Weightless Guilt
Rating: NC17/FRAO
Pairing: Claude/Bennet
Summary: "But it is always there - like a ghost of a distant memory." Claude appears, Bennet follows.
A/N: A little late, but prompted by "Bennet/Claude; follow" from the Sekrit Cabal Porn Battle. Many thanks to indyhat for betaing and futuresoon for hand-holding (And fantasticpants who listens to me whine). All

Comments

[liritarofrohan]

Hell. Yes. I love it.

[tricias_flaunt]

xD Glad you enjoyed it!

[liritarofrohan]

You know it. *Grins*

[bordosnoopy]

Brilliant. Hot!

[tricias_flaunt]

Thank you!

[forty_licks]

I loved it, really lovely little piece. Except for this line.

“Shuddup, you bloke, and just follow me. You talk too much.”

It doesn't make sense. bloke is just slang for a man/young man not a put down at all. So essentially you've written "shut up, you man." Which doesn't work!

Sorry i'm just Brit-picking! But really that bit needs to be changed.

[tricias_flaunt]

I wanted to put in "lad" actually. I mean, I didn't really mean for it to be a put down. Just a little indentation in the speech. I just moved to the UK, getting the hang of the language but yeah, I know that bloke = young man. ;)

Glad you liked it.

[forty_licks]

"you lad" doesn't work either! Unless it's "you lad!" ie "Your so awesome!" or "you, lad!" as in getting a boys attention.

BUT WELCOME TO THE UK! Where abouts are you? It will take you a while to get used to us, there are so many ridiculous subtleties in words and how you say them and when you say them.So pretty much like any other country! But yes it will be tricky at first.

But seriously, first tip never say use "bloke" in that context. TBH it just sounds really very very silly and makes no sense! So seriously, change it, cause i promise you every Brit who reads it will be "wtf?!"

Try "Shut up, you cock" or "wanker" or "cunt" even "prat" or "Shut up mate/love/friend"

[tricias_flaunt]

I meant "Shuddup, lad", since Bennet's younger and all, but I changed it to "mate" anyway. Thanks for the heads up. To be fair to indyhat, who's British as well, I added those two lines after she sent me the beta back.

Birmingham. Uni. With fucking internet limitations.

[nikki74]

aww, this is so so good!I love the first part, about the hand on his ahoulder, and "You mean you’ve met other invisible blokes already, mate?” *cheers* I loved that line.

[redlight_artist]

This is really good. I liked the characterizations very much.

Claude just needing to say hi is really sweet and sad.