Five Times Loki Went Vegetarian
[as requested by antigone_grace here]
Two pairs of eyes, one set blue and the other green, stared up at him imploringly. Big, adorable eyes glimmering with tears threatening to pour down chubby little cheeks at any moment. Those eyes would put any puppy dog to shame.
He didn't stand a chance.
Loki sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Vali, Narvi, Daddy wouldn't dream of eating the," tasty, succulent, "lamb."
"Or the dee!" one little voice piped up.
Sigh. "Or the deer."
Doomed. He was doomed. Why did he have kids again?
The problem, Loki decided, with seducing some of these New Age-y types of women was that you ended up eating a lot of strange things. And having to act like you enjoyed it.
He looked down at his plate and groaned inwardly. The tofu shaped like turkey was the worst. And a crime against nature, at that.
When he was young, Loki had wanted to try something new. Different. He'd tried going Vegetarian before the word had been invented.
He made it three days.
Well, two and a half.
Well, two.
Or so. Give or take. More or less.
Aesir could not survive by Twinkies and rum alone.
But he could certainly give it a shot.
For a time, Loki couldn't quite shake that habit of grazing after he bought Sleipnir to Asgard.
And the less said about the periodic urges to snort, whinny, and sleep standing up the better.
Two pairs of eyes, one set blue and the other green, stared up at him imploringly. Big, adorable eyes glimmering with tears threatening to pour down chubby little cheeks at any moment. Those eyes would put any puppy dog to shame.
He didn't stand a chance.
Loki sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Vali, Narvi, Daddy wouldn't dream of eating the," tasty, succulent, "lamb."
"Or the dee!" one little voice piped up.
Sigh. "Or the deer."
Doomed. He was doomed. Why did he have kids again?
The problem, Loki decided, with seducing some of these New Age-y types of women was that you ended up eating a lot of strange things. And having to act like you enjoyed it.
He looked down at his plate and groaned inwardly. The tofu shaped like turkey was the worst. And a crime against nature, at that.
When he was young, Loki had wanted to try something new. Different. He'd tried going Vegetarian before the word had been invented.
He made it three days.
Well, two and a half.
Well, two.
Or so. Give or take. More or less.
Aesir could not survive by Twinkies and rum alone.
But he could certainly give it a shot.
For a time, Loki couldn't quite shake that habit of grazing after he bought Sleipnir to Asgard.
And the less said about the periodic urges to snort, whinny, and sleep standing up the better.