Headcanon
Idea totally stolen from Aestas and Scath.
-Kisuke doesn’t ever remember a time when he didn’t know Yoruichi either. He grew up with her in the expansive grounds of the Shihouin estate, moving in at three and staying there until he joined the ranks of the Gotei 13 and got shoved into barracks.
-Kisuke and his mother moved in after his father, a good friend of Yoruichi's father and his shougi partner for decades, was killed in action. Out of respect for his deceased friend and genuine concern for the welfare of his family, the head of the Shihouin family took in the Urahara family and happily taught Kisuke how to play Shougi. It wasn't until Kisuke beat him at the tender age of five that he realised that the little brat was perhaps a tiny bit more capable than he let on.
-The assassination attempt on Yoruichi in their childhood shook him up almost as much as her. Being a precocious child, he knew exactly what an assassin was, but in order not to scare Yoruichi anymore than she had been already, he went along with calling them Sassin monsters too. He drove the adults half crazy with the booby traps he set in her room, and would, without fail, sneak into her room at night to sleep in her bed with her in the first month immediately following the attempt. How else was he supposed to protect her?
-At the age of seven, after much extensive thought and research, Kisuke insisted that he and Yoruichi conduct an experiment into the nature of kissing, having been informed that it was very important. Until he was thirteen and he kissed someone else, Kisuke carried around the impression that all girls tasted of milk and tuna.
-As a small child, Kisuke was a terrible crybaby. His mother died when Kisuke was eight years old of a mercifully swift degenerating illness. To the surprise of everyone who knew the child, Kisuke was very stoic about it all and never cried again; at least, that's what the adults around him would say. Yoruichi knows differently. Several centuries later, Yoruichi is still the only person Kisuke will ever allow himself to cry in front of.
-It didn’t take him long to realise that older women found him utterly charming as a youngster and he could get away with murder just from acting coy or smiling in a certain way. He continued to exploit this well into his teens, although the ways he did so were far less innocent.
-Kisuke is an avid reader; he will devour anything he finds interesting enough in one sitting if he’s not interrupted. (In his early teens, he discovered the Kama Sutra. He maintains to this day that it’s one of the greatest things ever written.) This habit evolved when his interest in science developed further, to the extent that he becomes incredibly blinkered to whatever he is working on and will spend days at a time without sleep or food and will not emerge until he is either dragged out or completely satisfied with what he was doing.
-Shortly after entering the academy, Kisuke came to terms with the fact that no other woman would ever come close to meaning what Yoruichi would mean to him, and he was OK with that. He would simply adore her from her shadow, have many a string of scandalous and enjoyable affairs with older classmates, and quietly threaten any man who looked like they would break Yoruichi’s heart with a personal encounter with his newly awakened Zanpakutou.
-Kisuke once drove a teacher at the academy into early retirement. Rumour has it that a goat was involved somehow. When asked for details, Urahara will only ever respond with a wistful smile and a knowing look.
-His old kidou teacher was desperate to have Urahara excluded from his classes as he often devised his own kidou spells when he was bored. And practiced them in class. After he accidentally exploded a toad the class were trying to levitate, he toned down his behaviour somewhat.
-After spending too much time around the Shibas and their fireworks, Kisuke accidentally burnt his eyebrows off trying to make his own pyrotechnics. Kuukaku and Yoruichi will never let him live it down.
-He adores and respects Benihime with every fibre of his being, but he can’t help but wonder what part of his soul her bloodthirsty nature comes from.
-When they finally hooked up after a long, mildly drunken evening of negotiations about why they weren’t sleeping together, the sex Yoruichi and Kisuke had to consummate their relationship was absolutely terrible, but they laughed so much that it was a truly memorable experience. They more than made up for their mutual shortcomings in the second attempt anyway.
-He tops from the bottom.
-Kisuke does not actually like Kurotsuchi Mayuri, nor does he ever think he will. He does, however, have enormous respect for the man’s twisted mind. Part of the reason he took him from the Maggot’s Nest was two parts admiration and curiosity for his capacity as a scientist, two parts concern that if the man’s thought processes weren’t channelled in the pursuit of greater knowledge he could very well end up killing everyone. That doesn’t mean that he does not find him slightly amusing, in a horrible way.
-He is actually prone to spells of deep melancholy, especially when he thinks about what he has potentially doomed the world to and what Aizen forced him to give up. This is why he will grin and act the fool, because he will not allow himself the selfish indulgence of feeling sorry for himself when there is work to be getting on with, and strings to be pulled. Kisuke doesn’t like to give himself over to regretting his actions, but not a day goes by when he doesn’t curse himself for making that damned Hougyoku and for dragging so many people into the mess that he made. He’s learnt that it’s all very well to make something because you can, but will now always weigh the reasons why he shouldn’t make something against the reasons why he should.
- Kisuke does indeed go commando. Yes, even that time.
-The person he’s angriest with for the whole exile business isn’t Aizen Sosuke. It’s himself.
-When he and Yoruichi found themselves in India as they travelled the world, Kisuke discovered tantric sex. Best. Vacation. Ever.
-The day Kurosaki Isshin told him that he was going to be a father, Kisuke laughed so much at the idea that he actually broke a rib.
-He would like to be a father one day, he thinks he’d be good at it. He loves children, and doesn’t think he’s done too badly raising Ururu and Jinta. The hard part wouldn’t be having a kid, it would be getting Yoruichi to agree to it.
- Like Yoruichi, he enjoys music and finds the stuff from the 60's and 70's particularly enjoyable. He's a huge fan of the Beatles and maintains that the loss of John Lennon was one of life's biggest tragedies. When the whole Aizen mess is dealt with, he has every intention of combing Rukongai to find him and shake his hand.
- Getting Kisuke drunk and suggesting karaoke is not a good idea. He will not only enthusiastically agree, but will insist on trying for the one hundredth and seventy sixth time to get Yoruichi to duet with him on 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough.' His success rate for achieving this is 1/175.
-If the choice came up, and it came down to Kisuke having to sacrifice himself to put a stop to Aizen once and for all, he would do it without hesitation. He just hopes that if it ever arises, Yoruichi would understand and forgive him for it.
-Kisuke doesn’t ever remember a time when he didn’t know Yoruichi either. He grew up with her in the expansive grounds of the Shihouin estate, moving in at three and staying there until he joined the ranks of the Gotei 13 and got shoved into barracks.
-Kisuke and his mother moved in after his father, a good friend of Yoruichi's father and his shougi partner for decades, was killed in action. Out of respect for his deceased friend and genuine concern for the welfare of his family, the head of the Shihouin family took in the Urahara family and happily taught Kisuke how to play Shougi. It wasn't until Kisuke beat him at the tender age of five that he realised that the little brat was perhaps a tiny bit more capable than he let on.
-The assassination attempt on Yoruichi in their childhood shook him up almost as much as her. Being a precocious child, he knew exactly what an assassin was, but in order not to scare Yoruichi anymore than she had been already, he went along with calling them Sassin monsters too. He drove the adults half crazy with the booby traps he set in her room, and would, without fail, sneak into her room at night to sleep in her bed with her in the first month immediately following the attempt. How else was he supposed to protect her?
-At the age of seven, after much extensive thought and research, Kisuke insisted that he and Yoruichi conduct an experiment into the nature of kissing, having been informed that it was very important. Until he was thirteen and he kissed someone else, Kisuke carried around the impression that all girls tasted of milk and tuna.
-As a small child, Kisuke was a terrible crybaby. His mother died when Kisuke was eight years old of a mercifully swift degenerating illness. To the surprise of everyone who knew the child, Kisuke was very stoic about it all and never cried again; at least, that's what the adults around him would say. Yoruichi knows differently. Several centuries later, Yoruichi is still the only person Kisuke will ever allow himself to cry in front of.
-It didn’t take him long to realise that older women found him utterly charming as a youngster and he could get away with murder just from acting coy or smiling in a certain way. He continued to exploit this well into his teens, although the ways he did so were far less innocent.
-Kisuke is an avid reader; he will devour anything he finds interesting enough in one sitting if he’s not interrupted. (In his early teens, he discovered the Kama Sutra. He maintains to this day that it’s one of the greatest things ever written.) This habit evolved when his interest in science developed further, to the extent that he becomes incredibly blinkered to whatever he is working on and will spend days at a time without sleep or food and will not emerge until he is either dragged out or completely satisfied with what he was doing.
-Shortly after entering the academy, Kisuke came to terms with the fact that no other woman would ever come close to meaning what Yoruichi would mean to him, and he was OK with that. He would simply adore her from her shadow, have many a string of scandalous and enjoyable affairs with older classmates, and quietly threaten any man who looked like they would break Yoruichi’s heart with a personal encounter with his newly awakened Zanpakutou.
-Kisuke once drove a teacher at the academy into early retirement. Rumour has it that a goat was involved somehow. When asked for details, Urahara will only ever respond with a wistful smile and a knowing look.
-His old kidou teacher was desperate to have Urahara excluded from his classes as he often devised his own kidou spells when he was bored. And practiced them in class. After he accidentally exploded a toad the class were trying to levitate, he toned down his behaviour somewhat.
-After spending too much time around the Shibas and their fireworks, Kisuke accidentally burnt his eyebrows off trying to make his own pyrotechnics. Kuukaku and Yoruichi will never let him live it down.
-He adores and respects Benihime with every fibre of his being, but he can’t help but wonder what part of his soul her bloodthirsty nature comes from.
-When they finally hooked up after a long, mildly drunken evening of negotiations about why they weren’t sleeping together, the sex Yoruichi and Kisuke had to consummate their relationship was absolutely terrible, but they laughed so much that it was a truly memorable experience. They more than made up for their mutual shortcomings in the second attempt anyway.
-He tops from the bottom.
-Kisuke does not actually like Kurotsuchi Mayuri, nor does he ever think he will. He does, however, have enormous respect for the man’s twisted mind. Part of the reason he took him from the Maggot’s Nest was two parts admiration and curiosity for his capacity as a scientist, two parts concern that if the man’s thought processes weren’t channelled in the pursuit of greater knowledge he could very well end up killing everyone. That doesn’t mean that he does not find him slightly amusing, in a horrible way.
-He is actually prone to spells of deep melancholy, especially when he thinks about what he has potentially doomed the world to and what Aizen forced him to give up. This is why he will grin and act the fool, because he will not allow himself the selfish indulgence of feeling sorry for himself when there is work to be getting on with, and strings to be pulled. Kisuke doesn’t like to give himself over to regretting his actions, but not a day goes by when he doesn’t curse himself for making that damned Hougyoku and for dragging so many people into the mess that he made. He’s learnt that it’s all very well to make something because you can, but will now always weigh the reasons why he shouldn’t make something against the reasons why he should.
- Kisuke does indeed go commando. Yes, even that time.
-The person he’s angriest with for the whole exile business isn’t Aizen Sosuke. It’s himself.
-When he and Yoruichi found themselves in India as they travelled the world, Kisuke discovered tantric sex. Best. Vacation. Ever.
-The day Kurosaki Isshin told him that he was going to be a father, Kisuke laughed so much at the idea that he actually broke a rib.
-He would like to be a father one day, he thinks he’d be good at it. He loves children, and doesn’t think he’s done too badly raising Ururu and Jinta. The hard part wouldn’t be having a kid, it would be getting Yoruichi to agree to it.
- Like Yoruichi, he enjoys music and finds the stuff from the 60's and 70's particularly enjoyable. He's a huge fan of the Beatles and maintains that the loss of John Lennon was one of life's biggest tragedies. When the whole Aizen mess is dealt with, he has every intention of combing Rukongai to find him and shake his hand.
- Getting Kisuke drunk and suggesting karaoke is not a good idea. He will not only enthusiastically agree, but will insist on trying for the one hundredth and seventy sixth time to get Yoruichi to duet with him on 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough.' His success rate for achieving this is 1/175.
-If the choice came up, and it came down to Kisuke having to sacrifice himself to put a stop to Aizen once and for all, he would do it without hesitation. He just hopes that if it ever arises, Yoruichi would understand and forgive him for it.