Past, Present & Future, Chapter 4
Title: Past, Present & Future
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu
Length: Chaptered
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
(Prologue) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3)
Chapter 4: The Beginning & The Lightning
Yunho silently watched his son wandering around the kitchen preparing breakfast without a single word. It’s been 3 days since his blackout. Changmin had tried to talk him out to have a complete check-up at the hospital but in the end he escaped that by promising him that he’d go himself the second he feels even the slightest pain in his chest.
It’s not that he’s being stubborn, but he knows it will cost some money. His brother had spent a lot of money for him and Moonbin, he’s not keen on burdening him with his health. Besides, he’d been having some kind of a trauma since the long time spent in the hospital after the accident that took away his left arm. The therapy was painful and exhausting, and it broke his heart to see the forlorn look on his little boy. He tried so hard to smile in front of him though he would very much like to cry.
So yeah, he did his best to avoid hospital. Fortunately Moonbin is a totally healthy boy. Other than his regular annual booster shots when he was little, he never got to spend a night at the hospital over serious illness.
He knew that his blackout terrified his son and his refusal for a check-up disappointed him. He’s been given a silent treatment ever since. He still prepared him breakfast like this morning, helping him with his prosthesis every morning and night. But no talk about how his day went and no question about the store and its supplies. He still kissed him before going to school or bed, but no lingering hugs like he always did. He’s angry yet afraid at the same time. And Yunho couldn’t let it go on any longer.
“Hey buddy, not going to school for that science project again?”
“…”
“I thought it’s important for you and you liked it. Or have you finished it?”
“I lied about it.” He replied coldly.
Yunho was surprised. “You… lied?’ Moonbin never lied before.
“…”
“As in… there’s actually no science project at school that you have to do for the past 2 weeks?”
“No. I was tutoring Dong Sun’s sister.”
“What?” For a moment he forgot that he was the one who was actually trying to get his son’s favor. A bit of annoyance was sipping in. “Why did you lie to me? Are you doing it for money? How many times have I told you that I don’t want you to do anything to earn money as long as you’re in school! You’re still in Junior High! What did you need the money for?”
“… I didn’t mean to. I was trying to save up money for the Japan trip in case you didn’t let Min-ahjussi pay for it.”
“Well now you don’t have to anymore, so quit it.”
“I won’t. I won’t quit. I’ll keep doing it.”
“Wha- Why? You better stop it or I’ll call Dong Sun’s parents and-“
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Moonbin shout in anger and turned to face his father. Yunho was taken aback as this was the first time that he would talk back to him. “Stop… telling me what to do… I’m almost fifteen, I-“
“Almost. Not yet.”
“Why should I listen to you if you’re not listening to me.” He gave him a challenging look.
“… If this has anything to do with what happened 3 days ago th-“
“Of course it has everything to do with it!! You almost died, Appa, you almost died!”
“But I didn’t.”
“But who knows when it’s going to happen again? Who knows that you’re having another blackout when I’m in Japan! Then who’s going to call Min-ahjussi? What if no one find you until- until-“
The next think he knew Moonbin was a sobbing like a 5 year old in the kitchen counter. He approached him and tried pull him into a hug but Moonbin slapped his hand away.
“Do you even know how I felt when you didn’t answer my call? Do you know what it’s like when you didn’t move with my shake? I- I- I-thought that there would be no more you tomorrow… that you left me all alone and-, you just didn’t answer my call!! You didn’t breathe!” He was
hitting the counter top with his hand as if trying to pour out his emotion.
And Yunho cried along with him… Right there and then, he felt like he just made the biggest mistake and failed as a father for his son. Why did he only think of what was right for him? Why didn’t he understand how the boy must’ve felt? The fear of losing him… of being left alone… he’d been through that before and he could still feel the pain, time didn’t erase it so easily.
So he reached out and took his son in his arms and didn’t let go. Though the boy was trying to break free and kept hitting him back, he didn’t let go. He wanted him to know that he wouldn’t go away, he’d stay, he’d be around. He struggled to keep his hold with both arms though the prosthesis somewhat became an obstacle this time.
When Moonbin finally stopped the hitting, he didn’t let go. His son’s crying didn’t cease but got even louder.
“I was so scared that you’ll never open your eyes again! I felt like that time when you didn’t come home, Appa! I was so afraid… You kept smiling to me even though you lost an arm back then, I knew it hurt so much and you didn’t want to let me know. But yesterday you didn’t even see me, you didn’t open your eyes! I was so scared!!”
He tightened his hold on his boy and started to kiss his head. And the only thing that he could tell him was, “I’m sorry Bin, I’m sorry…”
“Promise me that you’ll go for a check-up, Appa… Promise me! I hate you if you don’t, so promise me! Otherwise I’ll cancel the registration for the Japan trip, I won’t go! I’d rather stay home watching you! Promise me that you’ll do it and I’ll tutoring! Promise me!” He screamed the last words as he pulled Yunho into a deeper hug.
He didn’t think twice before he promised him. Moonbin had never once joined any field trip or any event that his school held that required an overnight stay. His schools always allowed him not to participate after hearing his reason of having to help his father who had only 1 arm at home. The reason didn’t make sense as he didn’t have a problem at all without his son around. But it seemed the teachers always pitied him and gave the permission to excuse him from such programs.
His trauma be damned, but he had vowed that he’d be the one who would take care of this little soul since the day he found him left in that piteous form in a toilet bowl. Even after they were both left alone by someone who was supposed to share the joy together, he swore that
they’d always be together. It pained him that he had become the source of his breakdown.
“I promise… I promise… I promise…”
And those were the two words that finally could calm the teenager down and his tears subsided. They spent the rest of the day talking and cuddling. Moonbin poured out his feelings and his fear while Yunho kept promising him that he would never go away. Yunho asked Jihye to go home and closed the store for the day.
And just like 9 years ago, Jung Yunho made another silent promise to the sky above. He would never leave this world as long as Moonbin needs him, and nothing could take him away from his son unless the kid turned away from him.
* * * * *
Changmin just returned home from a function when he received a message on his mobile.
‘Get me a doctor appointment before Bin’s trip to Japan. I promised him.’
He smiled as he dialed a number from his contact list. It went unanswered so he left a message.
‘Proceed with the plan by Wednesday. They have to meet by the weekend.’
10 seconds later a reply came. ‘Roger that. No more messages please, I’m busy.’
He snorted. Those horny bastards just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Well, as long as they got the job done. He stopped in front of a door on the way to his bedroom. He just stood there and didn’t try to open it.
He touched the cold hardwood with his fingertips and whispered, “Your beloved son is coming home. That would be my parting gift for you. Thank you for bringing me here and let me met him.”
He turned away and headed to his room without another glance. The door remained closed.
* * * * *
“Jae, I can hear the baby’s crying from outside! What’s going on?”
“I- I don’t know! I tried to feed him with milk but he didn’t stop!” He timidly answered his boyfriend who just returned from his shift at the construction work.
The said boyfriend rushed to the baby’s side and picked him up, trying to cease the crying. “Have you changed his diaper?”
“…”
“Oh gosh, no wonder he’s wailing! He must’ve had an irritation on his bum! You should’ve checked on it!”
“…”
The other guy tenderly placed the baby on the battered sofa in the middle of the living room. He scowled as he saw red marks all over the baby’s bum. “Ssshh baby, hold on… I’ll change it for you, hush hush… Good boy, Binnie… good boy…” he kept speaking gently at the little bundle as he cleaned him up and changed his diaper.
One minute later, the wailing had reduced to a series of hiccups. “Now where’s the milk?”
Jaejoong quickly ran to the kitchen to grab the milk bottle. “Here… I- think it’s still warm.”
After awhile, the place became quite and Yunho stood up, cradling the baby who’s on the verge of falling asleep; tired of crying and content on sucking in his milk bottle. Jaejoong watched them awkwardly; still standing at by the kitchen counter feeling helpless.
“You know, there’s a reason why I worked double shifts at the construction. At least I expect you to be able take care of this place and the baby while I’m not around. How many times have I told you to change the diaper once in awhile?”
“I- I’m sorry… I’m not used to it…”
“You’re not used to everything! Not just the baby. Are you sure that you want to keep living with me?”
Jaejoong’s eyes widened a fraction before he ran to his boyfriend in panic. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry! I’ll remember it, I’ll try hard to do everything right! Just- just don’t leave me!” He was so ready to beg if he had to.
But the other guy just sighed and pulled him into his embrace with one hand while the other hand was supporting the baby. “I’m not leaving you, idiot, so don’t cry and think for a second that I don’t want you here. It’s our choice to be together, don’t blame yourself for anything. If there’s anyone to blame then it should be me… ‘cause I can’t give you a better life. That’s why I prefer you to stay home instead of torturing yourself out there.”
“I feel guilty for not being able to support you. You always had to pay for the mistake that I made at work. I feel useless.”
“Though I wish that you’ll get used to this kind of life, I don’t want you to change either. I’d love to have the same gentle and kind Kim Jaejoong. Just… try to be more responsible around the house, especially for our baby, will you?”
He nodded. “I’ll learn… I promise…”
Jaejoong scanned the pages in front of him. Jung Moonbin. So Yunho didn’t change his name at all. The kid would be celebrating his 15th birthday shortly. He’s good looking, always on top of his class, but not really bright when it comes to socialization. It’s not that he didn’t make many friends, but he’s lack in maintaining the friendship as he didn’t spend much time outside his home.
Jung Moonbin spent most of his time afterschool helping his father running a small convenience store at home and it was mentioned that he always refused to be away from home for a family reason. He wondered what kind of reason prevented him from spending the night away.
Most teenagers would gladly take any opportunity to be away from home. But he must be very special, he’s lived as Yunho’s son after all… the man whom he used to look up to. The strongest and kindest person who worked hard to support his little family in his young age. Why he expected Yunho to be like him, to return to his family and live an easy life, he didn’t understand. Perhaps he was never ready to live the hard way, he never had that fighting spirit in him.
He wasn’t weak and wasn’t spoiled when he was home. His father was hard on him as the sole heir of the company and his mother did nothing to make him feel better about it. But reality bites. He couldn’t adjust to a commoner’s life very well. No matter how hard his life was under his father’s scrutiny, he never had to wash his own dishes nor doing labor works until midnight and felt like he was dying of fatigue. And then there was a baby.
Gosh, being an only child all his life, he was taught not to mingle with the wrong crowd. That made him a little bit awkward in getting along with his peers, let along taking care of a baby! But Yunho was the centre of attention everywhere he went. He’s friendly, always ready to help those around him and never hesitated to smile to a new kid in school. Though his life was as hard as he was at home, especially without a mother who died when he was still an infant; he’d been an independent kid. And then Changmin came to live at his house when he was 12 after the boy’s mother committed suicide in despair of being ignored by Yunho’s father since the boy’s birth.
Everybody expected him to treat the bastard son like trash; on the contrary he was so elated to finally found a company at home. He acted like a mother to Changmin even though their father didn’t even spare a glance at him whenever he was home. He changed his diaper, fed and bathed him whenever he was home much to the maids’ astonishment. And when the night came, he would sing him lullaby until the boy was asleep before he went to his own bed. He was so familiar with the routine and was so ready to be a father.
So it was depressing for Jaejoong when Yunho suddenly decided to take the baby home on that fateful night.
“I’m sorry to take you boys here with the baby, as he won’t stop crying unless you hold him. You’re a fine young man.” The officer smiled at the young man cradling the baby.
“Ah, no problem Sir. I’m used to take care of my little brother.” He replied.
“I see. Now I have to make a decision what to do with the baby until we find his parents. I guess I should think about it soon, don’t want to keep you guys here for too long, your parents must be waiting at home for you.”
“Oh, that’s fine. Our parents will understand.” He lied through his teeth. “What will happen to this baby after we leave tonight?”
“Well, maybe one of the officers will have to take him home for the night or just keep him here. Then tomorrow we can call the social service to take him until we find the parent or someone claim him. Otherwise, he may have to be transferred to an orphanage.”
“I see.”
Then the both of them sat in silence while the officer were going around the place asking each officer on duty that night if whether any of them would like to take the baby home. No one did. He slumped back on his seat in front of them.
“Damn, no one wants to be bothered to take care of a baby at home. I guess you guys should just leave him with us here.”
“And… where will he sleep?”
“I don’t know, maybe one the desk in the back. We have some blankets and we can pile them up to be his bed. It’s just for one night.”
“I… We don’t mind to take care of the baby for the night?”
The officer seemed surprised. “Are you sure your parents won’t object? You may want to ask them first, you know.”
“Actually we’re living away from home to study in the city. We rented a small place downtown so I think it should be okay if we’re taking care of him for the night. We can leave our address so you can come later if anyone shows up for him.”
“Thank you, young man. You’re very helpful… here, fill in this form and we’ll come and contact you as soon as possible. I’m sorry that we can’t come up with a better solution but I’m sure the baby’s parents must be grateful with you too.” The officer happily shoved a piece of paper in front of him. Since Yunho was holding the baby then Jaejoong had no choice to fill it up for them.
One day passed… then a week… a month… Yunho was spending more time working to support the three of them and Jaejoong was left depressed for not being able to do anything for them or taking a good care of the baby. The officer never came or contacted them. Once when Yunho was working, Jaejoong was so fed up with everything and took the baby out. They went to the police station and they just stood there outside the building, didn’t have enough courage to get in and gave up the baby. The officer that spoke with them that night passed him without a single word, and when he called him he was looking at him as if it was his first time meeting him. Jaejoong ran back to the apartment, baby still on his hands.
Until the day that he left… he never thought that the baby would be an important part in Yunho’s life. ‘It was supposed to be me.’ He thought bitterly.
* * * * *
It’s Friday afternoon and Yunho finally finished through a long and exhausting check-up. Other than the general blood test and basic check-up, Changmin had required the doctor to apply specific tests to find out any heart disease and he underwent each and every single one available. The exercise stress test, CT-scan, electrocardiogram, echocardiography and catheterization. It’s already past noon when finally the doctor called them up into his examination room. Apparently Changmin had done something to enable them to find out the result just a couple of hours after the last test. He insisted on coming with him though he told him that he’s not Moonbin, he’s capable in doing it by himself. Now, he can’t be more grateful to have someone with him to hear the result of his check-up.
He gulped anxiously as the doctor asked them to sit and brought out the test result.
“Mr. Jung, we’ve tried our best to find out what’s happening inside your body.”
“And… did you find anything?”
“Mr. Shim told us beforehand about the blackouts and the chest pain that you were going through several times. Usually it’s enough evidence that it’s related to heart problems.” He spread some of the test results on the table and the X-rays on the board.
His heart beat so hard from anxiety that he’s afraid that he would experience something bad right there and then.
“The chest pain that you were having is medically called ‘angina pectoris’. Many times it can be mistaken for indigestion. But other than that, you also told us that you’re experiencing shortness of breath, sometimes faster heartbeat or dizziness. When everything combined with the test results, they’re all symptoms of coronary artery disease or what people simply called as ‘Heart Disease’.
The world was spinning as soon as he heard the words that he dreaded. Changmin quickly held his hand and squeezed it as if to tell him not to worry.
“As for the blackouts that you have experienced twice… Mr. Jung, you practically had a heart attack and I can’t tell you how lucky you have been to survive those without any treatment.”
He couldn’t say a word at all, they’re lost somewhere between his brain and his lips. He just wanted to go home and be with his son.
Changmin cleared his throat before he asked the doctor, “And what do you suggest for treatment?”
“Considering the heart attacks, we can’t take it lightly anymore. Medication would suffice for a few weeks to prevent another attack, but I believe that PTCA or balloon angioplasty is required. It’s a procedure to widening a narrowed blood vessel. An empty and collapsed balloon on a guide wire is passed into the narrowed locations and then inflated to a fixed size using water pressures some 75 to 500 times normal blood pressures. It will open up the blood vessel for improved flow before the balloon is deflated and withdrawn. You may be required to stay overnight if there are no complications. And you are advised not to do any strenuous physical activity for a week. Hopefully it will work and no bypass surgery required.”
He didn’t listen to all the explanation the doctor gave… Changmin can do that for him… but he wants to go home. He needs to be home for his Son. He gave a tug on his brother’s hand and he understood. Yunho needs to be with Moonbin.
* * * * *
Chapter 5
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu
Length: Chaptered
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
(Prologue) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3)
Chapter 4: The Beginning & The Lightning
Yunho silently watched his son wandering around the kitchen preparing breakfast without a single word. It’s been 3 days since his blackout. Changmin had tried to talk him out to have a complete check-up at the hospital but in the end he escaped that by promising him that he’d go himself the second he feels even the slightest pain in his chest.
It’s not that he’s being stubborn, but he knows it will cost some money. His brother had spent a lot of money for him and Moonbin, he’s not keen on burdening him with his health. Besides, he’d been having some kind of a trauma since the long time spent in the hospital after the accident that took away his left arm. The therapy was painful and exhausting, and it broke his heart to see the forlorn look on his little boy. He tried so hard to smile in front of him though he would very much like to cry.
So yeah, he did his best to avoid hospital. Fortunately Moonbin is a totally healthy boy. Other than his regular annual booster shots when he was little, he never got to spend a night at the hospital over serious illness.
He knew that his blackout terrified his son and his refusal for a check-up disappointed him. He’s been given a silent treatment ever since. He still prepared him breakfast like this morning, helping him with his prosthesis every morning and night. But no talk about how his day went and no question about the store and its supplies. He still kissed him before going to school or bed, but no lingering hugs like he always did. He’s angry yet afraid at the same time. And Yunho couldn’t let it go on any longer.
“Hey buddy, not going to school for that science project again?”
“…”
“I thought it’s important for you and you liked it. Or have you finished it?”
“I lied about it.” He replied coldly.
Yunho was surprised. “You… lied?’ Moonbin never lied before.
“…”
“As in… there’s actually no science project at school that you have to do for the past 2 weeks?”
“No. I was tutoring Dong Sun’s sister.”
“What?” For a moment he forgot that he was the one who was actually trying to get his son’s favor. A bit of annoyance was sipping in. “Why did you lie to me? Are you doing it for money? How many times have I told you that I don’t want you to do anything to earn money as long as you’re in school! You’re still in Junior High! What did you need the money for?”
“… I didn’t mean to. I was trying to save up money for the Japan trip in case you didn’t let Min-ahjussi pay for it.”
“Well now you don’t have to anymore, so quit it.”
“I won’t. I won’t quit. I’ll keep doing it.”
“Wha- Why? You better stop it or I’ll call Dong Sun’s parents and-“
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Moonbin shout in anger and turned to face his father. Yunho was taken aback as this was the first time that he would talk back to him. “Stop… telling me what to do… I’m almost fifteen, I-“
“Almost. Not yet.”
“Why should I listen to you if you’re not listening to me.” He gave him a challenging look.
“… If this has anything to do with what happened 3 days ago th-“
“Of course it has everything to do with it!! You almost died, Appa, you almost died!”
“But I didn’t.”
“But who knows when it’s going to happen again? Who knows that you’re having another blackout when I’m in Japan! Then who’s going to call Min-ahjussi? What if no one find you until- until-“
The next think he knew Moonbin was a sobbing like a 5 year old in the kitchen counter. He approached him and tried pull him into a hug but Moonbin slapped his hand away.
“Do you even know how I felt when you didn’t answer my call? Do you know what it’s like when you didn’t move with my shake? I- I- I-thought that there would be no more you tomorrow… that you left me all alone and-, you just didn’t answer my call!! You didn’t breathe!” He was
hitting the counter top with his hand as if trying to pour out his emotion.
And Yunho cried along with him… Right there and then, he felt like he just made the biggest mistake and failed as a father for his son. Why did he only think of what was right for him? Why didn’t he understand how the boy must’ve felt? The fear of losing him… of being left alone… he’d been through that before and he could still feel the pain, time didn’t erase it so easily.
So he reached out and took his son in his arms and didn’t let go. Though the boy was trying to break free and kept hitting him back, he didn’t let go. He wanted him to know that he wouldn’t go away, he’d stay, he’d be around. He struggled to keep his hold with both arms though the prosthesis somewhat became an obstacle this time.
When Moonbin finally stopped the hitting, he didn’t let go. His son’s crying didn’t cease but got even louder.
“I was so scared that you’ll never open your eyes again! I felt like that time when you didn’t come home, Appa! I was so afraid… You kept smiling to me even though you lost an arm back then, I knew it hurt so much and you didn’t want to let me know. But yesterday you didn’t even see me, you didn’t open your eyes! I was so scared!!”
He tightened his hold on his boy and started to kiss his head. And the only thing that he could tell him was, “I’m sorry Bin, I’m sorry…”
“Promise me that you’ll go for a check-up, Appa… Promise me! I hate you if you don’t, so promise me! Otherwise I’ll cancel the registration for the Japan trip, I won’t go! I’d rather stay home watching you! Promise me that you’ll do it and I’ll tutoring! Promise me!” He screamed the last words as he pulled Yunho into a deeper hug.
He didn’t think twice before he promised him. Moonbin had never once joined any field trip or any event that his school held that required an overnight stay. His schools always allowed him not to participate after hearing his reason of having to help his father who had only 1 arm at home. The reason didn’t make sense as he didn’t have a problem at all without his son around. But it seemed the teachers always pitied him and gave the permission to excuse him from such programs.
His trauma be damned, but he had vowed that he’d be the one who would take care of this little soul since the day he found him left in that piteous form in a toilet bowl. Even after they were both left alone by someone who was supposed to share the joy together, he swore that
they’d always be together. It pained him that he had become the source of his breakdown.
“I promise… I promise… I promise…”
And those were the two words that finally could calm the teenager down and his tears subsided. They spent the rest of the day talking and cuddling. Moonbin poured out his feelings and his fear while Yunho kept promising him that he would never go away. Yunho asked Jihye to go home and closed the store for the day.
And just like 9 years ago, Jung Yunho made another silent promise to the sky above. He would never leave this world as long as Moonbin needs him, and nothing could take him away from his son unless the kid turned away from him.
* * * * *
Changmin just returned home from a function when he received a message on his mobile.
‘Get me a doctor appointment before Bin’s trip to Japan. I promised him.’
He smiled as he dialed a number from his contact list. It went unanswered so he left a message.
‘Proceed with the plan by Wednesday. They have to meet by the weekend.’
10 seconds later a reply came. ‘Roger that. No more messages please, I’m busy.’
He snorted. Those horny bastards just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Well, as long as they got the job done. He stopped in front of a door on the way to his bedroom. He just stood there and didn’t try to open it.
He touched the cold hardwood with his fingertips and whispered, “Your beloved son is coming home. That would be my parting gift for you. Thank you for bringing me here and let me met him.”
He turned away and headed to his room without another glance. The door remained closed.
* * * * *
“Jae, I can hear the baby’s crying from outside! What’s going on?”
“I- I don’t know! I tried to feed him with milk but he didn’t stop!” He timidly answered his boyfriend who just returned from his shift at the construction work.
The said boyfriend rushed to the baby’s side and picked him up, trying to cease the crying. “Have you changed his diaper?”
“…”
“Oh gosh, no wonder he’s wailing! He must’ve had an irritation on his bum! You should’ve checked on it!”
“…”
The other guy tenderly placed the baby on the battered sofa in the middle of the living room. He scowled as he saw red marks all over the baby’s bum. “Ssshh baby, hold on… I’ll change it for you, hush hush… Good boy, Binnie… good boy…” he kept speaking gently at the little bundle as he cleaned him up and changed his diaper.
One minute later, the wailing had reduced to a series of hiccups. “Now where’s the milk?”
Jaejoong quickly ran to the kitchen to grab the milk bottle. “Here… I- think it’s still warm.”
After awhile, the place became quite and Yunho stood up, cradling the baby who’s on the verge of falling asleep; tired of crying and content on sucking in his milk bottle. Jaejoong watched them awkwardly; still standing at by the kitchen counter feeling helpless.
“You know, there’s a reason why I worked double shifts at the construction. At least I expect you to be able take care of this place and the baby while I’m not around. How many times have I told you to change the diaper once in awhile?”
“I- I’m sorry… I’m not used to it…”
“You’re not used to everything! Not just the baby. Are you sure that you want to keep living with me?”
Jaejoong’s eyes widened a fraction before he ran to his boyfriend in panic. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry! I’ll remember it, I’ll try hard to do everything right! Just- just don’t leave me!” He was so ready to beg if he had to.
But the other guy just sighed and pulled him into his embrace with one hand while the other hand was supporting the baby. “I’m not leaving you, idiot, so don’t cry and think for a second that I don’t want you here. It’s our choice to be together, don’t blame yourself for anything. If there’s anyone to blame then it should be me… ‘cause I can’t give you a better life. That’s why I prefer you to stay home instead of torturing yourself out there.”
“I feel guilty for not being able to support you. You always had to pay for the mistake that I made at work. I feel useless.”
“Though I wish that you’ll get used to this kind of life, I don’t want you to change either. I’d love to have the same gentle and kind Kim Jaejoong. Just… try to be more responsible around the house, especially for our baby, will you?”
He nodded. “I’ll learn… I promise…”
Jaejoong scanned the pages in front of him. Jung Moonbin. So Yunho didn’t change his name at all. The kid would be celebrating his 15th birthday shortly. He’s good looking, always on top of his class, but not really bright when it comes to socialization. It’s not that he didn’t make many friends, but he’s lack in maintaining the friendship as he didn’t spend much time outside his home.
Jung Moonbin spent most of his time afterschool helping his father running a small convenience store at home and it was mentioned that he always refused to be away from home for a family reason. He wondered what kind of reason prevented him from spending the night away.
Most teenagers would gladly take any opportunity to be away from home. But he must be very special, he’s lived as Yunho’s son after all… the man whom he used to look up to. The strongest and kindest person who worked hard to support his little family in his young age. Why he expected Yunho to be like him, to return to his family and live an easy life, he didn’t understand. Perhaps he was never ready to live the hard way, he never had that fighting spirit in him.
He wasn’t weak and wasn’t spoiled when he was home. His father was hard on him as the sole heir of the company and his mother did nothing to make him feel better about it. But reality bites. He couldn’t adjust to a commoner’s life very well. No matter how hard his life was under his father’s scrutiny, he never had to wash his own dishes nor doing labor works until midnight and felt like he was dying of fatigue. And then there was a baby.
Gosh, being an only child all his life, he was taught not to mingle with the wrong crowd. That made him a little bit awkward in getting along with his peers, let along taking care of a baby! But Yunho was the centre of attention everywhere he went. He’s friendly, always ready to help those around him and never hesitated to smile to a new kid in school. Though his life was as hard as he was at home, especially without a mother who died when he was still an infant; he’d been an independent kid. And then Changmin came to live at his house when he was 12 after the boy’s mother committed suicide in despair of being ignored by Yunho’s father since the boy’s birth.
Everybody expected him to treat the bastard son like trash; on the contrary he was so elated to finally found a company at home. He acted like a mother to Changmin even though their father didn’t even spare a glance at him whenever he was home. He changed his diaper, fed and bathed him whenever he was home much to the maids’ astonishment. And when the night came, he would sing him lullaby until the boy was asleep before he went to his own bed. He was so familiar with the routine and was so ready to be a father.
So it was depressing for Jaejoong when Yunho suddenly decided to take the baby home on that fateful night.
“I’m sorry to take you boys here with the baby, as he won’t stop crying unless you hold him. You’re a fine young man.” The officer smiled at the young man cradling the baby.
“Ah, no problem Sir. I’m used to take care of my little brother.” He replied.
“I see. Now I have to make a decision what to do with the baby until we find his parents. I guess I should think about it soon, don’t want to keep you guys here for too long, your parents must be waiting at home for you.”
“Oh, that’s fine. Our parents will understand.” He lied through his teeth. “What will happen to this baby after we leave tonight?”
“Well, maybe one of the officers will have to take him home for the night or just keep him here. Then tomorrow we can call the social service to take him until we find the parent or someone claim him. Otherwise, he may have to be transferred to an orphanage.”
“I see.”
Then the both of them sat in silence while the officer were going around the place asking each officer on duty that night if whether any of them would like to take the baby home. No one did. He slumped back on his seat in front of them.
“Damn, no one wants to be bothered to take care of a baby at home. I guess you guys should just leave him with us here.”
“And… where will he sleep?”
“I don’t know, maybe one the desk in the back. We have some blankets and we can pile them up to be his bed. It’s just for one night.”
“I… We don’t mind to take care of the baby for the night?”
The officer seemed surprised. “Are you sure your parents won’t object? You may want to ask them first, you know.”
“Actually we’re living away from home to study in the city. We rented a small place downtown so I think it should be okay if we’re taking care of him for the night. We can leave our address so you can come later if anyone shows up for him.”
“Thank you, young man. You’re very helpful… here, fill in this form and we’ll come and contact you as soon as possible. I’m sorry that we can’t come up with a better solution but I’m sure the baby’s parents must be grateful with you too.” The officer happily shoved a piece of paper in front of him. Since Yunho was holding the baby then Jaejoong had no choice to fill it up for them.
One day passed… then a week… a month… Yunho was spending more time working to support the three of them and Jaejoong was left depressed for not being able to do anything for them or taking a good care of the baby. The officer never came or contacted them. Once when Yunho was working, Jaejoong was so fed up with everything and took the baby out. They went to the police station and they just stood there outside the building, didn’t have enough courage to get in and gave up the baby. The officer that spoke with them that night passed him without a single word, and when he called him he was looking at him as if it was his first time meeting him. Jaejoong ran back to the apartment, baby still on his hands.
Until the day that he left… he never thought that the baby would be an important part in Yunho’s life. ‘It was supposed to be me.’ He thought bitterly.
* * * * *
It’s Friday afternoon and Yunho finally finished through a long and exhausting check-up. Other than the general blood test and basic check-up, Changmin had required the doctor to apply specific tests to find out any heart disease and he underwent each and every single one available. The exercise stress test, CT-scan, electrocardiogram, echocardiography and catheterization. It’s already past noon when finally the doctor called them up into his examination room. Apparently Changmin had done something to enable them to find out the result just a couple of hours after the last test. He insisted on coming with him though he told him that he’s not Moonbin, he’s capable in doing it by himself. Now, he can’t be more grateful to have someone with him to hear the result of his check-up.
He gulped anxiously as the doctor asked them to sit and brought out the test result.
“Mr. Jung, we’ve tried our best to find out what’s happening inside your body.”
“And… did you find anything?”
“Mr. Shim told us beforehand about the blackouts and the chest pain that you were going through several times. Usually it’s enough evidence that it’s related to heart problems.” He spread some of the test results on the table and the X-rays on the board.
His heart beat so hard from anxiety that he’s afraid that he would experience something bad right there and then.
“The chest pain that you were having is medically called ‘angina pectoris’. Many times it can be mistaken for indigestion. But other than that, you also told us that you’re experiencing shortness of breath, sometimes faster heartbeat or dizziness. When everything combined with the test results, they’re all symptoms of coronary artery disease or what people simply called as ‘Heart Disease’.
The world was spinning as soon as he heard the words that he dreaded. Changmin quickly held his hand and squeezed it as if to tell him not to worry.
“As for the blackouts that you have experienced twice… Mr. Jung, you practically had a heart attack and I can’t tell you how lucky you have been to survive those without any treatment.”
He couldn’t say a word at all, they’re lost somewhere between his brain and his lips. He just wanted to go home and be with his son.
Changmin cleared his throat before he asked the doctor, “And what do you suggest for treatment?”
“Considering the heart attacks, we can’t take it lightly anymore. Medication would suffice for a few weeks to prevent another attack, but I believe that PTCA or balloon angioplasty is required. It’s a procedure to widening a narrowed blood vessel. An empty and collapsed balloon on a guide wire is passed into the narrowed locations and then inflated to a fixed size using water pressures some 75 to 500 times normal blood pressures. It will open up the blood vessel for improved flow before the balloon is deflated and withdrawn. You may be required to stay overnight if there are no complications. And you are advised not to do any strenuous physical activity for a week. Hopefully it will work and no bypass surgery required.”
He didn’t listen to all the explanation the doctor gave… Changmin can do that for him… but he wants to go home. He needs to be home for his Son. He gave a tug on his brother’s hand and he understood. Yunho needs to be with Moonbin.
* * * * *
Chapter 5