Till Death Do Us Part
The Storm Inside Me
Yunho saw his husband waited on him with an anxious face while he parked his car. He kissed him like usual as he walked through the door. He understood the questioning look but he ignored it as he continued walking into the dining room and squeezed his son’s arm as he walked past him.
“What’s for dinner? I’m starving.”
His husband called him out confusedly. “Yun…”
“We’ll talk later, I need some food first. Bin, will you call Uncle Min to join us for dinner, please?”
Moonbin nodded and went to the call his Uncle.
“Yun…” Jae called him again.
He turned around and pulled him into a hug. He showered him with kisses and slowly he could feel the tension left his shoulders as he was lost deeper into the kisses. After a minute or so, they broke the kiss as Yunho pulled Jae’s face into his chest. “I’m really starving, I need to eat something before we have our talk.”
Jaejoong knew right there and then, it’s not something good. But more than that the fact Yunho didn’t tell them right away also meant that he needed time to explain.
He squeezed his husband’s body and pulled. He gave him his best smile, the one that he had practiced in front of the bathroom mirror, preparing to hear the worst. “Sure honey, let me set up the tables and you go change your clothes. We can start first before Min gets here.” With a peck he turned around and started to get the plates and everything.
As he made his way to the master bedroom in the second floor he met his son halfway down the stairs, “Hey buddy, you called your Uncle yet?”
“Yeah, he’s actually already halfway here so I guess he’ll be here in a few more minutes.”
“Perfect. I’ll just go get changed now.”
Moonbin stopped his step as he pulled his elbow. “Dad, it’s not good, isn’t it.”
Yunho sighed, his son is even more stubborn than his husband. “We’ll talk, OK.”
“No, tell me now first.”
“Bin, when I said we’ll talk I meant we’ll talk, just the two of us after our family discussion. I do need to ask for your help.”
“It’s that bad?”
“I hope not. That’s why we should talk again later. Now go, Daddy will be curious as to where you’re disappearing after only a phone call.”
“’Kay…”
Moonbin went down to the dining room and Yunho returned to his initial plan, to get changed. After he put on some shorts and v-neck shirt he sat down in his bed. His and Jaejoong’s bed.
How much longer would he be able to hold his husband here? How much longer would he be able to caress his pale and smooth skin, sharing passionate kisses and make love till they’re both drowned in endless pleasure? He wished he could’ve known. But before he got down to any premonition, he has to pass the first hell. And to be able to pass it, he should come down now, eat with his family, and have that talk.
~ o ~ o ~
His stepbrother is already at the table when he got down. There wasn’t much noise unlike the usual dinner with him around. He hates that. He hasn’t even told them about what’s going on with him but they’re already trying to act casual in front of him.
“How’s the new apartment? You like it?” He asked his brother who just moved out from their place a month ago.
“Yeah, I love the neighborhood! And it’s more spacious than the last one.”
“And closer to you work. Great.”
The rest of dinner was spent quietly, everyone but seemed impatient to start the discussion already. No one asked for desert.
After the table cleaned, dishes washed, they all gathered at the living room. Jaejoong sat next to Yunho on the love seat, Changmin next to him on the lone sofa and Moonbin on floor leaning on Changmin’s seat.
Yunho found a hard time to start to speak, he felt his husband reached out for him and held his hand as if to give encouragement. So he took a deep breath and spoke.
“I have prostate cancer, it’s already in stage 2 so I have to start my radiation as soon as possible. It’s not as serious as it may sound, the growth can be stopped as long as I the finish the radiation as scheduled.”
No one dared to speak and Jaejoong’s hand has left his to cover his own mouth in shock. He lifted his arm and gathered him in his embrace. And the tear gate broke from Jaejoong’s eyes as he sobbed clutching the front of his shirt. “Jae, please… don’t do this to me, I told you it’s not as bad as it sounded. I’ll just have to go through the radiation, that’s it.”
He watched his son holding back his emotion, his step brother’s hands on his shoulders. Moonbin was the first to break the silence.
“So when did you plan to start?”
“Next week, three times a week. It won’t be a problem to go by myself for the first few sessions but… the doctor suggest that I should have someone to accompany me further into the radiation. There might be symptoms of nausea, and I have to be careful the radiation area, so yeah, I’ll need help. That’s why I asked you to be here too, Min.”
Jaejoong sat up straight, “I can go with you. I’ll go with you!”
“No, you can’t. You have your own business to run.”
“That’s nonsense! You’re more important than my business or anything else! It’s time for me to support you and I want to be there for you!”
“No, Jae. You can’t leave your responsibilities!”
“And you’re not? How about your students? Your job?” His husband pressed on.
He sighed, “I have called the principal and told him about the possibility of an indefinite leave during my medication.”
“And you didn’t consult me? What did you take me for? Just someone who lived with you?” Though the tears has stopped flowing, the hurt was still clearly visible in Jaejoong’s face.
“I didn’t say that! Look Jae, please, listen to me for this one time…”
“I’ve always listened to you in all these years we’re together. But it’s obvious to me right now that even in your sickness you won’t let get involved with it. So much for the vow that we declared on the wedding day.” With that, Jaejoong got up and left to the second floor in anger and disappointment.
It hurt him so much to do that to someone that he loves, but for this time he has no choice. He turned to look at Moonbin who hasn’t said anything.
“Bin, I… “
“Why did you do that to Daddy? It’s not fair for him, he’s only worried about you.”
“I know, but I also know that he’ll be the one to break down first when he sees me in pain. I don’t want it, that’s why I-“
he gulped some air, “that’s why I need both of your help to come with me when I need to.”
Moonbin moved next to him and hugged him, “You’re not telling the truth because Daddy was here. What stage Dad?” And he tried hard to hold back his tears when he heard his Dad whispered, “Early Stage 3.”
He closed his eyes, “I’ll come with you on your next doctor appointment before you start the radiation.”
Yunho held him tighter, “Thanks, baby… Keep it to yourself, don’t worry your Daddy until we get this through together.”
“Hyung, I’m still here. I’ll be with you too but you still have to tell the truth to Jaejoong-hyung even if it hurts him. He’s your other half, I’m sure he knows your pain too.”
“Later Min… later… after the storm inside me has calmed down… and I wish by then the cancer is also gone.”
On that fateful night, everyone laid on their bed with a storm inside their heart. The storm that they wished will be over soon.
~ o ~ o ~
Next
Yunho saw his husband waited on him with an anxious face while he parked his car. He kissed him like usual as he walked through the door. He understood the questioning look but he ignored it as he continued walking into the dining room and squeezed his son’s arm as he walked past him.
“What’s for dinner? I’m starving.”
His husband called him out confusedly. “Yun…”
“We’ll talk later, I need some food first. Bin, will you call Uncle Min to join us for dinner, please?”
Moonbin nodded and went to the call his Uncle.
“Yun…” Jae called him again.
He turned around and pulled him into a hug. He showered him with kisses and slowly he could feel the tension left his shoulders as he was lost deeper into the kisses. After a minute or so, they broke the kiss as Yunho pulled Jae’s face into his chest. “I’m really starving, I need to eat something before we have our talk.”
Jaejoong knew right there and then, it’s not something good. But more than that the fact Yunho didn’t tell them right away also meant that he needed time to explain.
He squeezed his husband’s body and pulled. He gave him his best smile, the one that he had practiced in front of the bathroom mirror, preparing to hear the worst. “Sure honey, let me set up the tables and you go change your clothes. We can start first before Min gets here.” With a peck he turned around and started to get the plates and everything.
As he made his way to the master bedroom in the second floor he met his son halfway down the stairs, “Hey buddy, you called your Uncle yet?”
“Yeah, he’s actually already halfway here so I guess he’ll be here in a few more minutes.”
“Perfect. I’ll just go get changed now.”
Moonbin stopped his step as he pulled his elbow. “Dad, it’s not good, isn’t it.”
Yunho sighed, his son is even more stubborn than his husband. “We’ll talk, OK.”
“No, tell me now first.”
“Bin, when I said we’ll talk I meant we’ll talk, just the two of us after our family discussion. I do need to ask for your help.”
“It’s that bad?”
“I hope not. That’s why we should talk again later. Now go, Daddy will be curious as to where you’re disappearing after only a phone call.”
“’Kay…”
Moonbin went down to the dining room and Yunho returned to his initial plan, to get changed. After he put on some shorts and v-neck shirt he sat down in his bed. His and Jaejoong’s bed.
How much longer would he be able to hold his husband here? How much longer would he be able to caress his pale and smooth skin, sharing passionate kisses and make love till they’re both drowned in endless pleasure? He wished he could’ve known. But before he got down to any premonition, he has to pass the first hell. And to be able to pass it, he should come down now, eat with his family, and have that talk.
~ o ~ o ~
His stepbrother is already at the table when he got down. There wasn’t much noise unlike the usual dinner with him around. He hates that. He hasn’t even told them about what’s going on with him but they’re already trying to act casual in front of him.
“How’s the new apartment? You like it?” He asked his brother who just moved out from their place a month ago.
“Yeah, I love the neighborhood! And it’s more spacious than the last one.”
“And closer to you work. Great.”
The rest of dinner was spent quietly, everyone but seemed impatient to start the discussion already. No one asked for desert.
After the table cleaned, dishes washed, they all gathered at the living room. Jaejoong sat next to Yunho on the love seat, Changmin next to him on the lone sofa and Moonbin on floor leaning on Changmin’s seat.
Yunho found a hard time to start to speak, he felt his husband reached out for him and held his hand as if to give encouragement. So he took a deep breath and spoke.
“I have prostate cancer, it’s already in stage 2 so I have to start my radiation as soon as possible. It’s not as serious as it may sound, the growth can be stopped as long as I the finish the radiation as scheduled.”
No one dared to speak and Jaejoong’s hand has left his to cover his own mouth in shock. He lifted his arm and gathered him in his embrace. And the tear gate broke from Jaejoong’s eyes as he sobbed clutching the front of his shirt. “Jae, please… don’t do this to me, I told you it’s not as bad as it sounded. I’ll just have to go through the radiation, that’s it.”
He watched his son holding back his emotion, his step brother’s hands on his shoulders. Moonbin was the first to break the silence.
“So when did you plan to start?”
“Next week, three times a week. It won’t be a problem to go by myself for the first few sessions but… the doctor suggest that I should have someone to accompany me further into the radiation. There might be symptoms of nausea, and I have to be careful the radiation area, so yeah, I’ll need help. That’s why I asked you to be here too, Min.”
Jaejoong sat up straight, “I can go with you. I’ll go with you!”
“No, you can’t. You have your own business to run.”
“That’s nonsense! You’re more important than my business or anything else! It’s time for me to support you and I want to be there for you!”
“No, Jae. You can’t leave your responsibilities!”
“And you’re not? How about your students? Your job?” His husband pressed on.
He sighed, “I have called the principal and told him about the possibility of an indefinite leave during my medication.”
“And you didn’t consult me? What did you take me for? Just someone who lived with you?” Though the tears has stopped flowing, the hurt was still clearly visible in Jaejoong’s face.
“I didn’t say that! Look Jae, please, listen to me for this one time…”
“I’ve always listened to you in all these years we’re together. But it’s obvious to me right now that even in your sickness you won’t let get involved with it. So much for the vow that we declared on the wedding day.” With that, Jaejoong got up and left to the second floor in anger and disappointment.
It hurt him so much to do that to someone that he loves, but for this time he has no choice. He turned to look at Moonbin who hasn’t said anything.
“Bin, I… “
“Why did you do that to Daddy? It’s not fair for him, he’s only worried about you.”
“I know, but I also know that he’ll be the one to break down first when he sees me in pain. I don’t want it, that’s why I-“
he gulped some air, “that’s why I need both of your help to come with me when I need to.”
Moonbin moved next to him and hugged him, “You’re not telling the truth because Daddy was here. What stage Dad?” And he tried hard to hold back his tears when he heard his Dad whispered, “Early Stage 3.”
He closed his eyes, “I’ll come with you on your next doctor appointment before you start the radiation.”
Yunho held him tighter, “Thanks, baby… Keep it to yourself, don’t worry your Daddy until we get this through together.”
“Hyung, I’m still here. I’ll be with you too but you still have to tell the truth to Jaejoong-hyung even if it hurts him. He’s your other half, I’m sure he knows your pain too.”
“Later Min… later… after the storm inside me has calmed down… and I wish by then the cancer is also gone.”
On that fateful night, everyone laid on their bed with a storm inside their heart. The storm that they wished will be over soon.
~ o ~ o ~
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