You Are Here For a Reason
Title: You Are Here For a Reason
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: One shot under EHFAR
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: Her life has always been special. But will she ever be special for someone out there too? Min Young is growing up and starts to question her purpose in life. Appa and Daddy are there to listen.
~ o ~ o ~
Jaejoong knew from the start that it’s not going to be easy to raise Min Young. Other than her health problem, she grew up to be an intelligent girl and despite her limited physical ability, nothing stopped her from learning more than what people expected of her.
Yunho was worried about her future but Jaejoong always managed to assure him that she would be fine. She has them and they will do the best for her as long as she lives.
When she was five she threw a tantrum for not being able to eat what her brother ate. She was supposed to go vegetarian.
Jaejoong went to a vegetarian cooking lesson to learn how to cook edible veggie food. To turn tofu into chicken and such.
When she was ten she cried over the fact that she couldn’t run after she watched her brother’s track competition at school.
Yunho took her with the wheelchair to the track field and ran with his might while pushing her carefully. Jaejoong ran before them to clear out the track from unwanted pebbles that might make her wheelchair got stuck and make her fall.
When she said that she liked painting, Moonbin took out all his old easel and painting materials that Jaejoong gifted him on his birthday to pass it on to her.
But Gappa built her own studio at the main house later on where she could paint freely without any disruption (usually comes in the form of his Daddy saying that he missed her terribly when she’s not around).
Min Young survived cancer that she inherited from her biological mother since birth, but it took away her legs. She depended on a wheelchair and her speech was slurred when she was little. As she grew up it became normal though somewhat hard to understand for some people with the kind of words that she chose. Still, it didn’t mean that she’s healthy enough. When she’s too tired or stressed out she would get seizures, and the last one was three weeks after Moonbin left for University.
She was sad for being left by her most beloved brother and confidante but she refused to show it in front of her parents and grandparents. She threw herself into her paintings, refused to come out of the studio before she’s satisfied with a completed work. The time difference between Seoul and San Francisco made her harder to communicate with his brother as she pleased. Moonbin would still be in school when she’s awake and when he’s back at the dorm he would be too tired to have a long conversation with her other than ‘How are you? You should eat well and stay healthy.’ So she held back and tried to be independent in her own way.
Once in it became too tough for her.
She was going shopping with Jaejoong when some people just plainly pointed at her and gossiping about her parents. She overheard one of them said, ‘Look at her! She became that way because of what her father did to her mother. Poor girl…’
She was furious! She loved her Daddy and Appa so much! She didn’t know anything about her Umma, only Moonbin Oppa knew her. It’s not fair! Daddy took very good care of her. And Appa never did nothing wrong to Umma, she was sure of it.
But she was taught to control her emotions in public. Everyone told her that Gappa is an important person and her Appa is famous, she shouldn’t be over emotional in public, she should watch her manner. So she kept her anger in check and brought it inside the studio. That night, the stroke of her brush was rough, the color that she chose was dark and she couldn’t hold it back any longer. With a hard stroke she threw the brush and cried. Soon enough she was hyperventilating and fell into darkness. She didn’t know how bad her seizure was or how paled Jaejoong had become when he opened the door and saw her body spasm by the wheelchair.
Since then, Jaejoong hardly took her outside unless she asked to. She didn’t mind, she went out only to accompany her Daddy to visit the sick children that Daddy’s foundation’s going to help; or with Gappa to the museum or another painting exhibitions.
And everyone started to believe that it’s how it’s would always be. That’s how Jaejoong and Yunho always believed. Min Young would always stay.
~ o ~ o ~
It all started when Moonbin returned home for his winter break in his sophomore year. Only this time he didn’t come alone. He brought someone special that he introduced as her girlfriend. Yunho was astounded, Jaejoong was delighted. The Jung elders welcomed the beautiful girl with open arms. And all of them were worried on how Min Young was going to take the fact that her brother now has started dating and having someone else to care for beside her.
Song Yun Jeong was tall if not taller than Moonbin - the thing that became the tease of the night during dinner. With short cropped hair and a smile that Yunho suspected as the reason that his son fell in love with; she’s a freshman and they met during new student orientation when Moonbin helped them around campus. They’ve been dating since summer, and being the serious boy that he was he thought it would be a good idea to bring Yun Jeong to see his family on their winter breaks. She’s going to spend a few days in the Jung household (‘Separate room please! You’re too young to have a baby of your own, since you’re still my baby!’ That’s what Jaejoong said to annoy him.) before she returns to her own parents’ place.
Yun Jeong quickly won the hearts of the Jungs with her manners and witty jokes. And it seemed that Min Yong also enjoyed the presence of the other girl. When Yun Jeong went to her parents place, Moonbin went with her in return. And that’s when Yunho and Jaejoong noticed a little change in Min Young’s demeanor. She smiled less, always seemed to be deep in thoughts and avoided helps from her parents and grandparents. When Moonbin returned, she tried to act as usual but anyone could see that she was trying to put a little distance with him. And everyone started to wonder.
Moonbin couldn’t stand it anymore, he called his parents out for a walk and a talk.
~o~o~
The three of them were sitting inside a warm café, enjoying a slice of cheesecake and hot chocolate.
“Do you think Min Young doesn’t like Yun Jeong?”
“Why is that? She seemed to enjoy her company and I was surprised that she could laugh like that in front of a stranger. But I didn’t see any sign of dislike from her.” Yunho tried to reassure his son.
“But you guys saw how she was lately ever since I came back from Yun Jeong’s place, didn’t you? I… I can’t tell what’s exactly wrong, but I feel that she’s keeping a distance from me.”
Jaejoong nodded, “I can see that too… but I’m not sure if it’s because of Yun Jeong. More like she’s avoiding all of us… our helps, I mean.” He sighed, “I think one of us should try to talk to her.” Jaejoong turned to his spouse, “Yun, wanna try to have a heart to heart with your daughter?”
Yunho put an arm around him, “As much as I love her, you know she hates it whenever I try to have a serious talk with her. She thinks my advices are useless.”
Jaejoong snorted, “Not that I blame her.”
Yunho winked and stole a kiss from him, “You still love me though…”
“That I do…” Jaejoong replied as he blushed and hid his face on Yunho’s shoulder.
“Hey hey hey! Your son is watching and I thought we’re in the middle of a discussion regarding who’s going to dig and find out about my sister’s problem here!” Moonbin glared at his parents, “And you, old man!” he pointed at his father, “Would you behave yourself and quit the PDA please? And Dad, you’re not helping at all by giving in to him everytime!”
Both men smiled sheepishly at their son’s scolding. “We’re not old…” he heard Jaejoong murmured. Moonbin rolled his eyes, they certainly didn’t grow up a bit.
“So, back to the topic… who’s going to talk to Min Young? Appa’s useless, Gappa and Gamma won’t push her to talk, and I certainly can’t do that since I’m the one she refuses to interact much lately… which leaves,” He turned to look at Jaejoong, “You, Dad. I’m sure you’ll be able to make her open up to you.”
Jaejoong nodded, “Okay… I’ll try to find a good time.”
“She will be in the studio the whole day, she said she’s working on a new set of postcards… Maybe you can get it and talk to her before dinner?”
“Yeah, that’s a perfect time. Now, shall we order a tiramisu? Honey, you can still have some, right?” Jaejoong asked his husband who was watching him amusedly.
“Daddy! You’ve eaten that giant cheesecake by yourself, and half of Appa’s Avocado cake!” Moonbin’s eyes widened in horror.
Yunho smirked, “Bin, if he’s not a man I would’ve guessed that your Dad’s pregnant with the cake cravings that he has lately.” That earned him a smack from Jaejoong and a disgusted look from Moonbin.
“As if I need to hear that! Dad, no more cakes, let’s find a place to have lunch.”
The three got up to leave… Moonbin smiled as he watched his parents’ linked hands when he walked behind them… ‘That’s what I want to be like with Yun Jeong...’
~ o ~ o ~
Jaejoong knocked softly at the studio door before he entered… Min Young was staring at the canvas in front of her. He approached and stood next to her, hiding his surprise to see only a stroke of dark blue on the canvas.
He pulled another chair and sat, rubbing soothing circles behind the girl’s back. She’s 18 but looked not older than 15. His heart clenched everytime he was reminded what she had been through in those years of her life.
“Care to tell me what’s on your mind, baby girl? You seemed distracted lately… you’ve been here the whole day and there’s only one color on your canvas.”
“…” She kept staring at ahead.
“Your brother worries about you… and so is everyone one else. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s fine, but I just want you to know that I’ll always be here when you need someone to talk to.”
“I’m…” She contemplated for awhile… “I can’t find the right color. For my mind. I’m thinking about something but I can’t find the right color of my thoughts to put in here…” She stroked the canvas with her fingers… “I just can’t find it…”
Puzzled, Jaejoong didn’t want to show it, afraid that it’s going to offend her. “Then maybe you can tell me instead… maybe I can help you find your color…”
She turned her head to look at him in all seriousness… “White. When I see you and Appa… Gamma and Gappa, it’s always white.” She pulled a tube from the easel, “This… this is Oppa’s color…” she showed him Baby Blue. She took another tube, Yellow. “When I see the children that you’re going to help, I see this and I add some white…”
Jaejoong nodded, beginning to understand her mind.
“I always find a color… There are these colors when you take me to the beach,” She pointed at Yellow, Orange and Blue. “And these when we go shopping.” Green, Red and Purple. “You see Daddy, I ALWAYS found my colors, but I can’t find it now. No matter how much I think about it and mix them, I can’t find the color of my mind now! I can’t!” She spoke faster in frustration and started to hyperventilate.
Jaejoong quickly embraced her and held her head, planting kisses on it, “Take it easy, baby… take it easy… I’m sorry I asked, forgive me… Take it easy… Now breathe, I’m here, I’m here, baby girl…” He wanted to cry, this was the first time that Min Young ever showed her weakness in front of someone. She’s always bubbly and smiled at anything that they forgot she might be hiding her feelings inside.
She’s calming down but Jaejoong kept holding her, “That’s it baby girl… don’t stress yourself… I’m here, I’m here…” He thought that she fell asleep and he was about to call Yunho to bring the girl to her room when he heard her faintly speaking to him.
“Daddy… Binnie Oppa and Yun Jeong Unnie… they’re like you and Appa… right?”
He pulled off and held her face with his hands, “What are you saying baby?”
“Oppa said they’re dating… that means they’re going to live together, right? Like Gamma and Appa… and you and Appa… Min Ahjussi and Ji-noona… Su-ahjussi and Chun-ahjussi…” She named all of the couples that she knew well.
“Honey, I don’t think they’re going to get married so soon. Not even in the next three years…”
“But he will. Someday. Right?”
He gulped, seeing where the question was heading to. “Maybe…”
“Then I… Will there be someone for me too? Will I love someone too? Someday?”
Now he was at a loss for words as he stared into her eyes… realizing for the first time that he’s looking into the eyes of a woman and not a girl.
“Baby…” That’s all that he could say to her.
“I hope I’m not so useless… I kept saying that Appa is useless, but actually I’m the one who’s useless in this place.”
“No, baby, you’re not useless! You’ve done so much! Your paintings have helped many children get their surgeries and medications; you’ve done more than you thought!”
“But that’s not much! I can’t walk, I can’t run!” She pulled her face from his hands and staring back at the canvas. “I’m sick all the time… I always have to ask for help to do things…” and she whispered so softly that Jaejoong barely could hear her, “And Umma didn’t like me that she left me without even knowing her.”
She pulled a tube, BLACK… Spread it all over the canvas and took her brush to blend it with the dark blue line on it.
“This is the color that I hate most… because it always makes the others disappear… But I can’t see anything else right now… and I hate myself for that.”
Jaejoong closed his eyes… thinking of a way to get of the darkness inside his baby girl and put the colors back into her life.
~ o ~ o ~
The whole family gathered after dinner. In the end Min Young exhausted herself and fainted in the studio. Fortunately there’s no seizure but Jung Appa called her physician anyway to check up on her while Yunho and Jaejoong stayed at her bedroom to watch on her. The doctor only said that she had expected it coming… maybe it’s time for her to see a psychiatrist if talking to them didn’t help at all. Yunho disagreed, thus the family meeting was called.
Moonbin looked distressed, “I should’ve asked you guys before I brought Yun Jeong home!”
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Bin.”
“But look at her now, Gappa! She started thinking of it because she saw me and Yun Jeong!”
“And you sure it’s not going to happen if you bring her here next year?” He asked him sternly. “It’s not about whose fault, but sooner or later she will start questioning why she’s different than others.”
Jung Umma sighed, “We completely forgot that she’s an adult now. That she also has her own opinion and thoughts.”
“Now since you’re against a psychiatrist, what you do think should we do, Yunho? Seeing that Jaejoong could make her to open up but didn’t give her the answer that she’s looking for. You have anyone else in mind?”
“I do. Me.”
Jaejoong looked at him questioningly, “You said she thinks your advice is useless?”
“Well, I’m not going to give her any advice; I’m going to talk to her. I’m still her father.”
Moobin eyed him suspiciously.
“What? Or you want to talk her?”Yunho asked him, annoyed.
“Tell me why you think you can help her.” Jung Appa asked him.
He took a deep breath. “I might not be the best father in the world, but I love my children with my life. I spent many years dedicating myself to make sure that she’s alive… and the fact that she’s here with us today after all those predictions bullshits the hospitals gave us, is miracle to me. At least I want her to know that she has a reason for being alive, she’s not a burden to me, or to anyone… I love her.”
Jaejoong held his hand and put his head on his shoulder.
“And… I want her to know that SoonMi didn’t hate her. That’s not why she- she left. Moonbin understands it now, but she doesn’t. I want to tell her that she’s never unwanted, I love her. We love her.”
Jung Appa smiles tenderly for the first time that night, “Now you’ve shown me that you’re truly a good father. You learned a lot from your mistake. Make sure that she understands that too.”
“I will… I will…”
~ o ~ o ~
Yunho stayed by his daughter’s bedside the whole night… watching her frail body and beautiful face, reminded him of his late wife and the times when they almost lost her and he promised himself that he didn’t want to see it again.
He fell asleep on the chair next to her bed and when he woke up he found her daughter was awake and sat on her bed, watching him.
“Morning, honey, I hope you had a good sleep.” He rose to give a kiss on her temple and sat himself down on the bed.
“Did I make everyone worry again? Binnie Oppa too?”
“Yes… but that’s what family is for… to worry for each other and to be happy for each other, don’t feel bad about it.”
“Hmmm…”
He reached out and stroked her long silken hair with his fingers… “You have your Umma’s hair… so beautiful…”
She looked up to him. “Daddy told you?”
“He told me.” He leaned on the headboard and pulled Min Young into his embrace. “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
“Appa, it’s been so long since you sleep with me.”
“It is… you want me to sleep with you again?”
“No… just like this, today… “ They enjoyed their father-bonding in silence. “Did Umma hate me?”
Yunho smiled and closed his eyes, “She never hated you. She loved you.”
“But she killed herself when she was with me.”
“She’s weak… she felt sorry for making you sick with her illness. And she made the wrong decision. He turned and caressed her face, “You looked so much like her and that’s proof that she wanted to be remembered through yourself. She loved you too much… she could’ve let you go when she found out that she’s pregnant with you. But she chose to have you instead, and I’ve never been so thankful for her decision now to see you grow up to be a smart and beautiful woman.
“We love you, Jung Min Young. You may not know your mother but Jaejoong cared for you more than anyone else. He loves you like his own, just like he loves your Oppa. Can’t you see? You may not be able to walk, or run, or cooking, or doing anything that you thought you should be able to, but you have brought more happiness to us than any normal girl may have… and you have given other children the most important thing - their lives. You helped them to live through your paintings and pictures without asking for anything in return. You do what makes you happy to benefit others, you should be proud of yourself, I know I’m proud of you.
“Your Oppa just found someone special. She may or may not be the one, but I can’t lie and tell you that he’s going to stay with us forever. I used to think that JiHye would always stay here with Changmin, but look at her now, building her own family with Yeon Hee and Na Young.”
He faced her and held her hands, “There may be someone special for you too out there, but even if he never shows up, I’ll always be here for you. Jaejoong and I will. Don’t limit yourself, when you think you find someone that you’re in love with, let him know, show him what Jun Min Young worth of, because you’re worth the best! You are my world, you are your Daddy’s world! But you have to believe that we love you- Umma loved you, and believe in yourself that you’re worth to love too. God let you be born to make us happy… you are the reason of my and Jaejoong’s happiness.”
She started crying in earnest and Yunho pulled her into his embrace. “It’s been so long since you cried in my embrace like this… do it again when you feel like it, but never hide your feelings from us again, baby… never… Let them all out, ask me anything you need to ask, and find your colors… Use the color that you hate most and erase it with your own colors when you find them, don’t try to hold yourself back.”
And after 2 long days of rest, Min Young started to pick up her brush again.
When she came out a few hours later, Yunho saw a rainbow on the canvas. She found her colors back.
~ o ~ o ~
Jaejoong and Yunho were lying in each other’s arms. Content to see the cheerful Min Young was back to her usual self.
“You’re really a great father, I love you, Appa...” Jaejoong kissed him tenderly.
Yunho chuckled, “Why do you call me Appa? You’re not Binnie or Min Young.”
“Why not… you’re really attractive when you’re all mature and fatherly.”
“Hhhmmm… and I wish you’re a highschooler trying to get into my pants… then maybe I don’t mind if you call me Appa.” He smirked.
“Oh, really…” Suddenly Jaejoong jumped from his position and straddled him. “I’m not attractive anymore that you need a highschooler to satisfy you?” He pouted sexily at him and Yunho’s breath hitched when his spouse grinded his groin on his.
“No baby, no… you’re still the best… you also look best when you’re being all motherly around the house. So Umma…” he caressed Jaejoong’s thighs that earned a moan from the man. “Appa needs you now…”
“What Appa wants… Umma gives…”
Yunho’s relieved, his family is whole again.
~ o ~ o ~
Everyone just started to return to the dorm after their winter breaks, including Moonbin. He was unpacking and took out a framed picture of him and his sister from the luggage. She looked so beautiful and Appa’s right, she looked a lot like Umma. He smiled as he put the picture on his drawer, next to the picture of him and Yun Jeong, and that’s when his best friend came in without knocking.
“Yo! Moon master, I missed you man!” He strangled him in a bear hug. The American never learned that he’s a giant compared to him!
“Damn you Mark, let go of me! You’re strangling me! And knock before you enter!” He complained to the blonde.
“Why? Afraid that I see something you don’t want me to see?”
Moonbin glared. Then Mark noticed the picture.
“Oh man, you’re cheating on Yun Jeong? Is she the reason that you don’t want me to come in?”
He smacked him hard. “That’s my sister, you dumbass!”
Mark’s stunned. “The painter? Wow… I didn’t believe you when you said she’s pretty, I missed to see her when she visited because of my part time jobs.”
Moonbin snorted, “Her luck.”
Mark was the first person that he befriended at Stanford. Stood at 6’2”, he’s like a blond giant compared to Moonbin’s asian posture. He knows everything about Moonbin’s family and he always said that he envied the Jungs. Mark came from divorced parents, an only son and always longed for a sibling. They quickly became good friends and he always admired Min Young’s paintings that he hung up on his dorm’s wall. He said they made him calm. He’s loud but he has a gentle heart, the trait that Moonbin saw similar with his Dad.
He didn’t make a sound for a while and Moonbin turned around to see him staring at their picture.
“Hey Moon, what’s her name?”
“Min Young. Jung Min Young.”
“Do you think… I can come with you to Korea next time you’re going back home?”
“Sure, what for?”
He stroked the picture, “I think I fall in love with your sister… I fell in love with her paintings first but now that I see her face I think I really really wanna see her.”
Moonbin smirked. His parents will go ballistic if he tells them someone is interested in their baby girl. A giant blond American, nonetheless. But hey, he needs family entertainment once in a while.
He told him merrily, “Sure! I was thinking that I’d stay here on summer, but on second thought, I’d love to introduce you to my country.”
He laughed inside, ‘Hell yeah, I can’t wait for summer to come.’
~ o ~ o ~