Past Present & Future, Family

May 14, 2013 19:09

Title: Family
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Oneshot under Past Present & Future verse.
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG

Summary:
[When's the right time to call someone ‘Appa’? Especially if that person was someone who abandoned you when you were a baby, made your Appa's life miserable and then returned to live with them? And Jaejoong wants to feel how to be a father again.]When's the right time to call someone ‘Appa’? Especially if that person was someone who abandoned you when you were a baby, made your Appa's life miserable and then returned to live with them? And Jaejoong wants to feel how to be a father again.

They were in bed, wrapped around each other’s arms, waiting for the sun to rise.

And then Jaejoong said something. Yunho thought that he might be wrong. Maybe he’s still sleepy or high from their making love.

“Sorry? What was that?”

“Can we adopt another child? To be Moonbin’s brother or sister?”

Yunho’s heart stopped beating for a second before he regained his composure and sat up, leaning on the headboard and pulled Jaejoong into his embrace.

Jaejoong held the arms on his chest tighter but kept looking at the wall, avoiding the unspoken question.

Yunho kissed his cheek. “What is this about? Is it about last night?” There was no reply so he tried again. “Is this because of Moonbin?”

His spouse sighed as he intertwined their fingers. “I- maybe… but that’s not all. I want to feel how to be a father.” He spoke softly, almost like a whisper.

“You ARE Moonbin’s father. He loves you, you know. Are you doubting him? Doubting us as a family?”

Jaejoong took his time as he reminisced on last night’s affair.

He knew he shouldn't expect too much, but he could deny the tinge of pain every time he heard Moonbin calling him 'Ahjussi'.

Was it wrong to hope that after 3 years he's been in a relationship with Yunho, Moonbin would see him as part of the family too? It's not like the kid treated him bad; he didn’t see any difference in treatment when he was with his father. But the fact the he didn't call him father too made him feel like there’s a large emotional gap. It’s as if he’s not trusted.

He hated making assumptions or seeing into things too deep, but yes it's like a stab through his heart when Moonbin came home bringing his girlfriend and introduced him as 'Jaejoong Ahjussi'.

"Kyung Hee, this is Changmin-ahjussi and Jihye-noona," She smiled politely and shook everybody's hands, "Halmeoni, you've spoken to Kyung Hee through the phone, right?"

"Yes, I'm glad that you're coming, Kyung Hee. I've heard a lot about you from Moonbin." She smiled as the young couple blushed.

He beamed as he led the girl to the living room where the family was gathering to celebrate his 21st birthday.

"Kyung Hee, this is my father. Appa, this is Kyung Hee." After Yunho shook hand with her they turned to him who stood next to Yunho. "And this is-" There was a little pause before he let out an awkward laugh, "This is Jaejoong-ahjussi."

He tried to act casual but seemed to fail 'cause he felt Yunho squeezed his arm. His partner didn't say anything... or maybe he just didn't know what to say.

Jaejoong kept quiet throughout dinner though he felt Moonbin stealing glances at him. And after the boy left to drive his girlfriend home he excused himself to the bedroom. It was pretty late and they were exhausted that they didn’t get to talk about it though he knew Yunho was itching to say something, just like he did just now. To give him assurance of his position in the family.

There’s no better time than the blissful moment after a long rest and a sweet making love with your partner.

“I know what you’ve been thinking. Don’t doubt Moonbin, Jae… he loves you and I know it.”

“…”

“Just because he’s not ready to call you ‘father’ doesn’t mean that he’s not thinking about it. And what about this adopting thing? We’re not young anymore, Jae. Binnie’s already 20 and we’ll be 40 in a few months. Are you sure you want to take care of another baby?”

Jaejoong sat up and moved himself to face Yunho on the bed. He reached out and let his fingers traced every wisdom line and scar on Yunho’s face. Even after so many years he still loved this man with his life and wanted nothing else but to grow old together; do everything in his capability to make this man happy for the rest of this life.

“I love you.” He couldn’t say more but those three words to convey everything that he’s feeling. And his happiness soared when the other man reciprocated by kissing him tenderly.

“I love you more.” He caressed him thumb on Jaejoong’s cheek. “So tell me what’s this about if it’s not just about Moonbin?”

“After we… separated and when I was still married; even though I didn’t love Eun Hee I still kind of hoped to have a child. You had no idea how many times I tortured myself in regret for leaving you and Moonbin. Even after we met again instead of showing him what kind of father I could be I still disappoint him deeply. I was too engrossed in hurting you that I almost forget to act like a father to him as I should be.

“I wasn’t ready when we took him in, but you were. Taking care of people always came naturally for you, something that you inherited from your mother and I couldn’t be more thankful to her for that. But I only felt the longing for children when I met Moonbin again.

“I saw the pictures of you two together; I saw how he grew up with you through still images. And I wished I was there too.” He started to tremble but Yunho held him and encouraged him to go on through his caresses.

“Even after 3 years we’ve been together I didn’t feel like I have done enough for him to make up for our lost time and all the pain and heartaches that I had caused you.”

“We don’t feel that you need to do anything more Jae, there’s nothing more to make up.” Yunho interrupted.

“I know!” He took another deep breath. “I know that Yun… but the longing is still there. I still want to feel to be someone’s father, to hold and take care of my child the way I couldn’t do with Moonbin. You have your portion of being a father and an excellent one at that. I want it too! I need to experience it too! I’m not going to ignore Moonbin or anything, but just like you told me he’s a grown up now.

“I can’t hold him like a baby anymore. I can’t teach him things, you’ve done a very good job at it. I can’t scold him for wasting his food anymore, Changmin had done that for many years. I want a memory of being a father, being one half of a pair of parents with you!” And the tear gate broke as he cried in his lover’s embrace.

Jaejoong could feel Yunho smiled as he kissed him and rubbed his back with his right arm. His prosthetic laid on the side table.

“I hear you Jae… I hear you… I understand. Tell you what… let’s spend the day at home today. We could stay longer in bed and when we wake up later we’ll have shower together, have brunch and we can sit down and talk about how are we going to do this.”

He nodded.

“But you know that we might not be capable of handling an infant anymore, right? I mean, it’ll be a little hard to hold a baby and feed him or her for a long time with my prosthetic. You’ll have to manage!”

Jaejoong chuckled. “Got it Appa… I’m actually thinking about an older kid. Around 6 or 7 years old? Do you think Moonbin would be against the idea?” Worry sipped into the tone of his voice but Yunho cut it short.

“Let’s talk about it later and when we tell him & Umma later.”

“Will we have to tell Changmin too?”

“Ah,” Yunho slapped his forehead, “You’ll have to do and bear the teasing that he’ll give us endlessly.”

They both laughed and laid back down on the bed.

“Yunho.” He called out to his spouse who hummed to tell him he heard. “I love you. And I won’t stop saying it.”

Yunho closed his eyes and smiled. “And I’ll say it again, I love you more.”

Jaejoong laid his head on Yunho’s chest and replied, “I know.”

* * * * *
“Jung Moonbin, you idiot!” He got a smack on his head.

“Ouch! What was that for?” He rubbed his head and looked at his irate girlfriend.

Moonbin didn’t miss the look on Jaejoong’s eyes 3 days ago when he introduced him to his girlfriend, Kyung Hee as Jaejoong Ahjussi. He felt miserable and finally told her about how he felt.

The story of his life was no secret, especially since he also made the news several times as the Crown Prince of Kim Corp. & Jung Inc. even though their family never talked about it at all and he felt that it’s still a long way for him to be any heir of anything. His uncle Changmin is more capable and he’s still in college but he couldn’t deny that he won’t be able to get away from the spotlight in a little more while.

“Do you not love him? Do you hate him?” Kyung Hee asked.

“What? No!” He yelled at her and earned another smack on the head. “Stop doing that! Of course I love him, he’s my father too you know.”

And Kyung Hee suddenly smiled at him. “No you said it. But why don’t you call him Appa too? Of course he’ll feel that you hate him or something.”

He sighed in frustration and looked at the sky. “It’s not easy you know. To suddenly call him Appa.”

“What’s not easy about it? You’ve lived together for a couple of years, he took care of you like your Appa does and well… he took care of you too when you were a baby, right? Why was it so hard to call him father too then?”

He didn’t move his gaze from the sky.

“I just… feel awkward. I know he loves me and I love him too like I love Appa… and I love Kim Halmeoni too. But even when we lived together he never urged me to call him Appa. I- I wanted to call him Appa but after so many years I just felt weird to change from Ahjussi to Appa. I just can’t find the right time!” He looked back at her. “How would you feel? Let’s say to call your Mom Ahjumma today and suddenly you wake up and call her ‘Good morning, Umma!’. It’s weird isnt’ it!”

Kyung Hee stared at him for a few seconds before she suddenly doubled over in laughter.

“What the…”

“Oh my god, Binnie! I can’t believe this! You’re so funny you know!” She laughed hysterically and that annoyed Moonbin.

“What’s so funny about it?”

“Everything’s funny!” She took a deep breath trying to calm herself. “I can’t believe this! So you hold up in calling him Appa after so many years just because you can’t find the right time to do it without making it awkward? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yeah! Try to be in my position and you know it’s not funny at all!” He’s getting more annoyed but Kyung Hee just smiled at him.

“Oh Jung Moonbin, you’re such an adorable boy…”

“Hey!”

“But you know what?” She told him sincerely. “There’s no right time or perfect moment to call someone a father. Just like you said, should I be in your position, no matter how or when it’ll definitely feel awkward.”

“Oh. You think so?” He asked her hesitantly.

And she replied confidently. “I know so.” She too his hand into her, “You know my family… my parents are not the affectionate type like your Dad so I felt a bit taken aback too see how you interacted with your family. You guys were so touchy and wasn’t ashamed to show your feelings through your actions. Well, except for you and Jaejoong-ahjussi.

“You could look into your Appa’s eyes and told him you love him just like that; and that’s just how you normally do it. I can’t imagine going home and suddenly tell my parents I love them! They’d look straight into my eyes and tell me to study.” She grinned. “You have no idea just how much I want to tell them that. But I’ll have to settle by doing my best in everything I do and make them proud.

“You can do it anytime, Binnie. You can call him Appa anytime and you’ll feel awkward only for a few seconds. Because that’s how your family do it. That’s how you do it with your father, that’s how you do it with your Uncle and that’s how you do it with your Grandmother. Let the awkwardness happen for the first time, I’m 100% sure that it will come naturally for the second time.”

He pondered over what his girlfriend said that came to a conclusion that she was right. No matter how long he waited he would never find the ‘right time’ and he will regret it when the time never come.

“I didn’t know that you have it in you.” He nudged his girlfriend’s shoulder.

“What do I have?”

“Wisdom.”

“Well… at least now you know. And I hope you don’t regret it.”

“I’m thankful.” He smiled at her.

“I accept thanks in the form of pizza and ice cream right now. So save your thanks and feed me.” She stood up and pulled him on his feet as he laughed at her antics.

“I’ll feed you anything you want for today.” And laughed some more to see Kyung Hee jumped in victory. He’s thankful for her indeed.

* * * * *
“I can’t believe it! You guys are old you know!” Was the first reaction from Changmin when they told the family about their plan to adopt another child.

“And is he, or she, going to be another Jung or a Kim this time?” Another question that earned him a pinch from Jihye.

Yunho just smiled, “We haven’t discussed about the name. We’ll think about it later when we go further into the process. We plan to visit some children recommended by the adoption agency next week. We’ll see how it goes from there.” And Jaejoong leaned on his shoulder, face beamed with happiness.

“Wow, I’m going to be a hyung… or an Oppa! Ahhh, I want to be an Oppa!” Was Moonbin’s reaction that made everyone laughed.

“So you’re okay with it Binnie?” Yunho asked him.

“Yes! Halmeoni will have another kid to baby again, I’m free!” He put his fists in the air and everyone laughed harder.

When everyone calmed down, Jaejoong spoke softly to him. “Thank you Binnie. I’m sure that you’ll be a great Hyung or Oppa for your dongsaeng, I’m proud of you.”

“Ah…” he blushed and seemed hesitate to reply. But he remembered what Kyung Hee told him, there’s no right time or perfect time. It’s now or never. “I’m happy for you Appa... and Jae-Appa.”

There was silence for a minute or two. And then he saw the widest grin that he’s ever seen on Jaejoong’s face. And he knew that it was the perfect time. His family is complete now.

The time when you set things right is always the perfect time.
The time when you make someone happy is always the perfect time.
And the time when you realize that you are accepted is always the perfect.

And he has the perfect family. A grandmother, an uncle, and aunt and two fathers… and a soon to be called sibling.

His perfect family.

oneshot, past present & future, fanfic, yunjae

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