Everything Happens For a Reason, Chapter 4
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Chapter 4
Yunho ended up staying in the other guest room on the 1st floor of the main house. He finished talking with his parents around 3am… it wasn’t long because in the end he was the one who had to make a decision. Deep inside his mind he already made a decision by the time he heard about Soon Mi’s real condition, but he’s still not sure how he could execute that… or in this case, whether he has the heart to. Even his parents were mostly silent last night and weren’t able to advise anything to him. No matter what, someone would be hurt though he wished he didn’t have to choose.
He didn’t sleep a wink last night, his mind was still trying to justify his decision. That what he’ll do is not for his own merit, but also for the sake of another life. Yes, he had decided to break up with Jaejoong and it was really not easy for him to make up his mind. If people think that he doesn’t love Jaejoong that much to not stand up for him, then they’re completely wrong. He loved Jaejoong, so much that it broke his heart just thinking of how Jaejoong’s going to react to this news. It would be tough.
He knew just how much Jaejoong loves him too. For Jaejoong, the Jungs are the only family that he got. He always understood how lonely Jaejoong could be. Whenever he started to touch him or initiated intimacy, he was actually feeling insecure. And Yunho was more than willing to reassure him in anyway no matter how tired he was. Jaejoong was probably more tired since he had to drive him everywhere & dealing with the production team to verify that things would be going according to the contract. Not to mention his own emotional roller coaster. Really, it’s not a merry go round to be shooting for almost the whole day and found out that another schedule had been changed so he couldn’t go home to rest but going directly to wherever the schedule assigned him to be! Tell him how he shouldn’t be grumpy to his manager!
Wait, it’s not that he’s going to break up with him for good! Truthfully, he just wants Jaejoong to wait on him. He will be with Soon Mi as long as she needs him to be. Once she’s through the medication and she recovers, he’ll talk to her again and explain how his relationship really is with Jaejoong. And Yunho needs Jaejoong to wait for him. And they can be together again. So basically it’s just a short-term separation, not forever. He really wishes Jaejoong can keep a cool head about it and see it from his point of view. Though his parents told him last night that it wasn’t going to be fair for him, he couldn’t think of any other way that will benefited both parties, Jaejoong & Soon Mi. Heck, nothing will even benefited him! And he’s the one required to make a choice. And Yunho still wanted to give a happy life to Jaejoong, he deserves that much.
Never has Yunho found a person who’s willing to give so much without expecting anything back, as long as it makes other people happy. He questioned him once about that. Jaejoong laughed loudly before he took a deep breath and stood facing him.
Flashback
“Yunho-yah, have you ever lost something that you treasured most?”
He didn’t expect him to answer his question with another, “Mmmm… lemme think about it… I don’t know. My family’s still here and I never took any material things as my treasured possession. They’re all can be replaced.”
Jaejoong smiled at him sadly, for an unknown reason. “Really? Then you might not understand my reason.”
“Try me. Yes I am dense, but a little enlightenment from you won’t hurt, don’t you think?” He replied smartly, “And by the way, you’re my treasured possession now,” he ended with a wink. Trying to lift up the cloud that’s shadowing his lover’s eyes.
“Am I really? I’m honored,” he started to speak again. “Yunho, before I lost my parents all I knew was happiness. Though they were not around much, I could feel how much they loved me. They always called when they had the chance to, or called the Ahjumma next door to make sure I was fine if the phone wasn’t picked up. They arranged food to be delivered every morning before I went to school. And if they’re on an expedition when it’s time to get my semester result, they called my homeroom teacher & still paid a visit to the school to get my result the day after they returned, didn’t matter how exhausted it would be.”
Jaejoong had turned his body from Yunho with his face facing the sky. “I never knew that happiness couldn’t last. That one day it could be gone without a warning, like a mist in the morning. After 3 years living in loneliness and held on an empty hope, I accepted my fate. The day I moved out of the house that I lived with my parents for 15 years, and by myself for 3 years after… was the day that I understood, that happiness was not given, that sometimes you just have to strive to finally grasp it in your hands and held it tightly on your palm. But I also found an interesting fact…” Jaejoong now returned to face him with a gentle smile, “That it’s not possible to keep my palm closed forever. I still have to open it one day, and let the happiness go with the wind… as light as a feather, to fall on another palm of someone in need.” He turned back and took a step closer to Yunho that their shoes touched on the ground.
By this time Yunho was completely out of words… what Jaejoong said may sounded poetic, but there’s a sadness that also pierced his heart painfully. Jaejoong was still looking intently at his eyes, like he wanted to find something in there and Yunho just couldn’t turn away.
“So Yunho-yah… can you understand my reason now? I am but just one person. I’m lying if I tell you I don’t want to keep my happiness. But if I open my palm & let it fly… it may fall on the palm of someone in a brink of depression. Or maybe a family in the verge of hopelessness. So no matter how many times I will be able to grasp it in my hands, I will still open it that many times and let it go… if it can give another hope to more people. I am but just one person, two persons’ happiness worth so much more compared to mine. Everything happens for a reason, my parents always taught me. I found it useless to look back at what’s already gone. You just told me that I’m your most treasured possession now. Please bear in mind… as for everything I had been going through, you have become my reason for each & every day.”
End of flashback
Yunho still remembered the way his lover looked at that moment. Even now when he closed his eyes he could picture the color of the sky, he could almost feel each breath that Jaejoong took after each sentence… and the warmth of his body when he held him tight after that. It was as if Jaejoong would also fly from his grasp & disappear. But it never crossed his mind that the day would actually come when he had to make sure that even when he opens his palm, he hoped that there would be no winds blowing around, so that the feather could stay on his palm.
* * * * *
Jaejoong was sitting in front of Yunho’s parents & the man himself. He had told him everything. Soon Mi’s condition, Soon Mi’s parents’ request, and Yunho’s proposition for the short-term separation. He had listened carefully at each word the three Jungs spoken to him, made an effort to digest every sentence to somehow make sense to him. But all he could conclude was another person’s life was depending on him.
He woke up this morning with the sound of the doorbell. The moment he saw Changmin in his front door he knew that day wouldn’t be like any other. He didn’t even have the guts to say “Good Morning” to him. His presence here already a sign it wasn’t something good. Changmin always contacted the pavilion through the intercom. The fact that he was sent to fetch him to the main house made his heart pound like a hammer.
“Jaejoong-ssi, I’m sorry to interrupt your sleeping, “ he bowed slightly.
“That’s fine. I didn’t realize that I’ve been sleeping on the couch, so it’s fine, really.”
“Good then, I hope you had a good sleep last night. As soon as you refresh yourself, would you mind to come to the main house? Yunho-ssi and his parents will be waiting for you in the family room. They apologized for not coming here instead, they also just woke up and getting ready for the day.” He smiled.
“I see. So… Yunho really didn’t come back here last night?”
“No he didn’t, the discussion lasted until around 3am, he was afraid he would wake you up if he returns. He was sleeping in the first floor’s guest room.”
Somehow the explanation didn’t make sense for him, Yunho knew that he was always waiting for him no matter how late he would return. “Ok, thanks for coming Changmin-ssi. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
“Certainly. Oh, Yunho-ssi also asked me to inform you that he had cancelled the shooting schedule today. You don’t have to call the production team or the producer anymore, he already done that this morning.”
Now this was something that Jaejoong didn’t anticipate. He cancelled the shooting? But he was the one who negotiate with the director the other day to let Soon Mi rest & shoot his scenes instead! Puzzled, but he wouldn’t find his answer unless he encouraged himself to find out what’s going on. He was ready in 15 minutes and here he was, after 30 minutes listening to the Jungs but somehow his head felt empty.
The deafening silence lasted for 5 minutes until Mrs. Jung started to speak, “Jaejoong-ah… are you okay?”
Jaejoong couldn’t believe what he just heard. They just asked him to separate with Yunho for awhile… he understood it’s not for long, 3 months tops for Soon Mi to finish his medication & recover until she’s healthy enough to hear Yunho’s explanation.
“Umma… what should I say to you?” he bare his heart to them for the first time. He could see the shock in their eyes. “I understand all that’s been told… I understand very well… but what do I do for those three months?” he turned his gaze to Yunho, “What’s gonna be my reason for 3 months?” then he closed his eyes.
“Jaejoong-ah, forgive me. It’s only for 3 months then we’ll be together again. You’re still my manager anyway, we’ll be together most of the day except when I accompany Soon Mi to her medication. I promise you that for the rest of the time I’ll keep in touch with you.”
Jaejoong could see Yunho’s plea for his understanding.
“Yunho is right Jaejoong-ah.. . it’s only for 3 months. Of course Yunho will have to stay at the main house during that period, but you’ll still be living in the pavilion. You could drop by anytime to join us for breakfast or dinner. The intercom’s there too, you can ring him whenever you want to hear his voice. We’re not asking you to leave, you’re like a son to us.” Yunho’s mother gently told him while holding his hands.
Everybody always say that he is a considerate person. Everybody say that he has a pure heart. Yunho told him once that he’s like an angel. And an angel shouldn’t be selfish, should it? But this time… only for this time… he doesn’t mind to be a tainted angel…
He slowly opened his eyes and raised his head. “Umma…. Am I allowed to be selfish for this one time?”
His words stunned the Jungs. It’s clear that Yunho also didn’t think such words would come out from his mouth. But just as he opened his mouth to say something, the door burst open and revealed Soon Mi with a messy hair and breathless as if she was holding it before she burst in. She heard everything?
“No!! No Oppa!!You can’t leave me after 3 months! You just can’t!” She spoke hysterically at Yunho, her parents on her heels, trying to catch her from running into Jaejoong who was sitting by the door.
As soon as she spotted Jaejoong, she quickly turned to him and fell on her knees, “Jaejoong Oppa, please! Please help me! Please tell Yunho Oppa that he can’t leave me after 3 months!! Please tell me that you’re not selfish like Yunho Oppa always told me!! Please…. I’m begging you with my life, PLEASE!!!!” She cried uncontrollably while holding Jaejoong’s hem sleeve. All the while Jaejoong didn’t move an inch even when Soon Mi ran back to Yunho & crushed him in a tight hug.
“Oppa, you can’t leave me!! You can’t leave me!! I’ll die if you leave!! I won’t take the medication, I don’t want to be healthy if it means you’re leaving me!! You promised me remember? YOU PROMISED ME!!!” she started to punch Yunho’s chest over and over while Yunho was trying to keep her steady on her feet. Now everyone was confused, even the Hans stopped trying to hold their daughter.
“You promised me when I told you that I was moving to Busan! You promised me that there will be no one else for you! You… you… promised me…” her voice started to weaken, “…promised me… that I’ll be your future…” Yunho caught her body in time as she passed out in his arms, losing her strength to go on. Her parents quickly helped Yunho to carry her to his bedroom upstairs while Yunho’s parents hurriedly looking for Changmin to call the doctor.
During all the commotion, Jaejoong still didn’t move a bit, not an inch. He stayed rooted in his place when the room was already empty, fists tightly clenched on his knees. He didn’t remember how long he was left alone in that room in the same position… Only when Yunho entered the place and touched his shoulder; that he started to blink.
* * * *
Chapter 5
Chapter 4
Yunho ended up staying in the other guest room on the 1st floor of the main house. He finished talking with his parents around 3am… it wasn’t long because in the end he was the one who had to make a decision. Deep inside his mind he already made a decision by the time he heard about Soon Mi’s real condition, but he’s still not sure how he could execute that… or in this case, whether he has the heart to. Even his parents were mostly silent last night and weren’t able to advise anything to him. No matter what, someone would be hurt though he wished he didn’t have to choose.
He didn’t sleep a wink last night, his mind was still trying to justify his decision. That what he’ll do is not for his own merit, but also for the sake of another life. Yes, he had decided to break up with Jaejoong and it was really not easy for him to make up his mind. If people think that he doesn’t love Jaejoong that much to not stand up for him, then they’re completely wrong. He loved Jaejoong, so much that it broke his heart just thinking of how Jaejoong’s going to react to this news. It would be tough.
He knew just how much Jaejoong loves him too. For Jaejoong, the Jungs are the only family that he got. He always understood how lonely Jaejoong could be. Whenever he started to touch him or initiated intimacy, he was actually feeling insecure. And Yunho was more than willing to reassure him in anyway no matter how tired he was. Jaejoong was probably more tired since he had to drive him everywhere & dealing with the production team to verify that things would be going according to the contract. Not to mention his own emotional roller coaster. Really, it’s not a merry go round to be shooting for almost the whole day and found out that another schedule had been changed so he couldn’t go home to rest but going directly to wherever the schedule assigned him to be! Tell him how he shouldn’t be grumpy to his manager!
Wait, it’s not that he’s going to break up with him for good! Truthfully, he just wants Jaejoong to wait on him. He will be with Soon Mi as long as she needs him to be. Once she’s through the medication and she recovers, he’ll talk to her again and explain how his relationship really is with Jaejoong. And Yunho needs Jaejoong to wait for him. And they can be together again. So basically it’s just a short-term separation, not forever. He really wishes Jaejoong can keep a cool head about it and see it from his point of view. Though his parents told him last night that it wasn’t going to be fair for him, he couldn’t think of any other way that will benefited both parties, Jaejoong & Soon Mi. Heck, nothing will even benefited him! And he’s the one required to make a choice. And Yunho still wanted to give a happy life to Jaejoong, he deserves that much.
Never has Yunho found a person who’s willing to give so much without expecting anything back, as long as it makes other people happy. He questioned him once about that. Jaejoong laughed loudly before he took a deep breath and stood facing him.
Flashback
“Yunho-yah, have you ever lost something that you treasured most?”
He didn’t expect him to answer his question with another, “Mmmm… lemme think about it… I don’t know. My family’s still here and I never took any material things as my treasured possession. They’re all can be replaced.”
Jaejoong smiled at him sadly, for an unknown reason. “Really? Then you might not understand my reason.”
“Try me. Yes I am dense, but a little enlightenment from you won’t hurt, don’t you think?” He replied smartly, “And by the way, you’re my treasured possession now,” he ended with a wink. Trying to lift up the cloud that’s shadowing his lover’s eyes.
“Am I really? I’m honored,” he started to speak again. “Yunho, before I lost my parents all I knew was happiness. Though they were not around much, I could feel how much they loved me. They always called when they had the chance to, or called the Ahjumma next door to make sure I was fine if the phone wasn’t picked up. They arranged food to be delivered every morning before I went to school. And if they’re on an expedition when it’s time to get my semester result, they called my homeroom teacher & still paid a visit to the school to get my result the day after they returned, didn’t matter how exhausted it would be.”
Jaejoong had turned his body from Yunho with his face facing the sky. “I never knew that happiness couldn’t last. That one day it could be gone without a warning, like a mist in the morning. After 3 years living in loneliness and held on an empty hope, I accepted my fate. The day I moved out of the house that I lived with my parents for 15 years, and by myself for 3 years after… was the day that I understood, that happiness was not given, that sometimes you just have to strive to finally grasp it in your hands and held it tightly on your palm. But I also found an interesting fact…” Jaejoong now returned to face him with a gentle smile, “That it’s not possible to keep my palm closed forever. I still have to open it one day, and let the happiness go with the wind… as light as a feather, to fall on another palm of someone in need.” He turned back and took a step closer to Yunho that their shoes touched on the ground.
By this time Yunho was completely out of words… what Jaejoong said may sounded poetic, but there’s a sadness that also pierced his heart painfully. Jaejoong was still looking intently at his eyes, like he wanted to find something in there and Yunho just couldn’t turn away.
“So Yunho-yah… can you understand my reason now? I am but just one person. I’m lying if I tell you I don’t want to keep my happiness. But if I open my palm & let it fly… it may fall on the palm of someone in a brink of depression. Or maybe a family in the verge of hopelessness. So no matter how many times I will be able to grasp it in my hands, I will still open it that many times and let it go… if it can give another hope to more people. I am but just one person, two persons’ happiness worth so much more compared to mine. Everything happens for a reason, my parents always taught me. I found it useless to look back at what’s already gone. You just told me that I’m your most treasured possession now. Please bear in mind… as for everything I had been going through, you have become my reason for each & every day.”
End of flashback
Yunho still remembered the way his lover looked at that moment. Even now when he closed his eyes he could picture the color of the sky, he could almost feel each breath that Jaejoong took after each sentence… and the warmth of his body when he held him tight after that. It was as if Jaejoong would also fly from his grasp & disappear. But it never crossed his mind that the day would actually come when he had to make sure that even when he opens his palm, he hoped that there would be no winds blowing around, so that the feather could stay on his palm.
* * * * *
Jaejoong was sitting in front of Yunho’s parents & the man himself. He had told him everything. Soon Mi’s condition, Soon Mi’s parents’ request, and Yunho’s proposition for the short-term separation. He had listened carefully at each word the three Jungs spoken to him, made an effort to digest every sentence to somehow make sense to him. But all he could conclude was another person’s life was depending on him.
He woke up this morning with the sound of the doorbell. The moment he saw Changmin in his front door he knew that day wouldn’t be like any other. He didn’t even have the guts to say “Good Morning” to him. His presence here already a sign it wasn’t something good. Changmin always contacted the pavilion through the intercom. The fact that he was sent to fetch him to the main house made his heart pound like a hammer.
“Jaejoong-ssi, I’m sorry to interrupt your sleeping, “ he bowed slightly.
“That’s fine. I didn’t realize that I’ve been sleeping on the couch, so it’s fine, really.”
“Good then, I hope you had a good sleep last night. As soon as you refresh yourself, would you mind to come to the main house? Yunho-ssi and his parents will be waiting for you in the family room. They apologized for not coming here instead, they also just woke up and getting ready for the day.” He smiled.
“I see. So… Yunho really didn’t come back here last night?”
“No he didn’t, the discussion lasted until around 3am, he was afraid he would wake you up if he returns. He was sleeping in the first floor’s guest room.”
Somehow the explanation didn’t make sense for him, Yunho knew that he was always waiting for him no matter how late he would return. “Ok, thanks for coming Changmin-ssi. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
“Certainly. Oh, Yunho-ssi also asked me to inform you that he had cancelled the shooting schedule today. You don’t have to call the production team or the producer anymore, he already done that this morning.”
Now this was something that Jaejoong didn’t anticipate. He cancelled the shooting? But he was the one who negotiate with the director the other day to let Soon Mi rest & shoot his scenes instead! Puzzled, but he wouldn’t find his answer unless he encouraged himself to find out what’s going on. He was ready in 15 minutes and here he was, after 30 minutes listening to the Jungs but somehow his head felt empty.
The deafening silence lasted for 5 minutes until Mrs. Jung started to speak, “Jaejoong-ah… are you okay?”
Jaejoong couldn’t believe what he just heard. They just asked him to separate with Yunho for awhile… he understood it’s not for long, 3 months tops for Soon Mi to finish his medication & recover until she’s healthy enough to hear Yunho’s explanation.
“Umma… what should I say to you?” he bare his heart to them for the first time. He could see the shock in their eyes. “I understand all that’s been told… I understand very well… but what do I do for those three months?” he turned his gaze to Yunho, “What’s gonna be my reason for 3 months?” then he closed his eyes.
“Jaejoong-ah, forgive me. It’s only for 3 months then we’ll be together again. You’re still my manager anyway, we’ll be together most of the day except when I accompany Soon Mi to her medication. I promise you that for the rest of the time I’ll keep in touch with you.”
Jaejoong could see Yunho’s plea for his understanding.
“Yunho is right Jaejoong-ah.. . it’s only for 3 months. Of course Yunho will have to stay at the main house during that period, but you’ll still be living in the pavilion. You could drop by anytime to join us for breakfast or dinner. The intercom’s there too, you can ring him whenever you want to hear his voice. We’re not asking you to leave, you’re like a son to us.” Yunho’s mother gently told him while holding his hands.
Everybody always say that he is a considerate person. Everybody say that he has a pure heart. Yunho told him once that he’s like an angel. And an angel shouldn’t be selfish, should it? But this time… only for this time… he doesn’t mind to be a tainted angel…
He slowly opened his eyes and raised his head. “Umma…. Am I allowed to be selfish for this one time?”
His words stunned the Jungs. It’s clear that Yunho also didn’t think such words would come out from his mouth. But just as he opened his mouth to say something, the door burst open and revealed Soon Mi with a messy hair and breathless as if she was holding it before she burst in. She heard everything?
“No!! No Oppa!!You can’t leave me after 3 months! You just can’t!” She spoke hysterically at Yunho, her parents on her heels, trying to catch her from running into Jaejoong who was sitting by the door.
As soon as she spotted Jaejoong, she quickly turned to him and fell on her knees, “Jaejoong Oppa, please! Please help me! Please tell Yunho Oppa that he can’t leave me after 3 months!! Please tell me that you’re not selfish like Yunho Oppa always told me!! Please…. I’m begging you with my life, PLEASE!!!!” She cried uncontrollably while holding Jaejoong’s hem sleeve. All the while Jaejoong didn’t move an inch even when Soon Mi ran back to Yunho & crushed him in a tight hug.
“Oppa, you can’t leave me!! You can’t leave me!! I’ll die if you leave!! I won’t take the medication, I don’t want to be healthy if it means you’re leaving me!! You promised me remember? YOU PROMISED ME!!!” she started to punch Yunho’s chest over and over while Yunho was trying to keep her steady on her feet. Now everyone was confused, even the Hans stopped trying to hold their daughter.
“You promised me when I told you that I was moving to Busan! You promised me that there will be no one else for you! You… you… promised me…” her voice started to weaken, “…promised me… that I’ll be your future…” Yunho caught her body in time as she passed out in his arms, losing her strength to go on. Her parents quickly helped Yunho to carry her to his bedroom upstairs while Yunho’s parents hurriedly looking for Changmin to call the doctor.
During all the commotion, Jaejoong still didn’t move a bit, not an inch. He stayed rooted in his place when the room was already empty, fists tightly clenched on his knees. He didn’t remember how long he was left alone in that room in the same position… Only when Yunho entered the place and touched his shoulder; that he started to blink.
* * * *
Chapter 5