Everything Happens For a Reason, Chapter 7
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Chapter 7: Han Soon Mi
She feels lightheaded… and cold… and empty… What’s going on with her? Well, maybe everything’s just going wrong, she can’t tell anymore. Just not long ago she felt so hot, as if her body was being burnt. So she went into the bathroom and let the cold water filled the tub to cover her completely. She could hear her son crying distantly but she surrendered to the need of coolness. That’s fine, her husband should be home any time and take care of Moonbin, she’ll only be here for a short while.
Husband… that’s what she called the man that’s become her longtime obsession. It’s true that in the end she got what she always wanted, for Yunho to be her man… her husband, to stand by her through the good and through the bad, just like their marriage vow. He’s been faithful but now she’s not so sure if she really owned him completely. He’s a good man, the world would agree. More than that he’s perfect for her. No one else had been patient enough to tend to her weak body when she was young. She got tired so easily, she lost her breath all the time when they asked her to run. In the end, they all left her behind, except for Yunho & JiHye. They were the ones that stayed and held her up.
Why is it cold now? Is it my skin or my heart? She can’t tell. Yunho has always been her fire. Passionate, full of energy and yet he burnt something inside of her that gave her the courage to do things that she never thought she could. And being an actress was definitely not something that her parents thought would be her career. But she could do it to be close to Yunho.
Oh, she knew that Yunho didn’t make his promise to her seriously, she chuckled. He just wanted her to stop crying and to move willingly with her parents. She might be weak, but she’s not dumb. Still, the promise was what had brought her so far today. To finally be the wife to Jung Yunho and mother to Jung Moonbin, their little miracle. Mrs. Jung Yunho… what a dream to be entitled for the name.
She never missed the sparkle in Yunho’s eyes when he looked at his manager then, Kim Jaejoong. It was undeniable that what they shared was special. Especially when they could keep a low profile and did their own job professionaly, purely like a business relationship. They must have had a strong trust. It’s impossible to keep a straight face when your partner was having a bed scene in front of your eyes, and then you had to be the one to tell him that the director thought he was distracted and didn’t show his best “bed expression”. Only the both of them could. Her suspicions were confirmed when one day she saw Yunho stole a kiss from Jaejoong behind the set. She could never erase the smile & the loving gaze that they were exchanging after the kiss. Pure love, pure trust. And she started to envy Kim Jaejoong.
She was over the roof when Yunho decided to tend to her at his home when she fell sick at the set (how fortunate! She really didn’t make it up!). She was ecstatic. But her world crumbled all over her just a couple of hours later when the doctor told her that he found a blood cancer cell from her lab result. He said he still couldn’t’ confirm the stage so he took some more blood from her back for further examination. It was terribly painful but the thought of going to spend more time with Yunho later made her bear with them all. She could do it.
Her parents came to the hospital with Uncle & Aunty Jung. They cared about her so much. The doctor asked them all to gather in his office and explained that she should start her medication soon. The result from the examination will determine the dose the right amount of medication she should receive. Her parents were shocked, the Jungs were speechless. But she told them that she would get through it just fine. The doctor explained that she would be required to stay in Seoul during the medication and the Jungs quickly offered to take care of her. She was sure they would, but she wanted more. She wanted Yunho to be with her, to be her pillar of strength, to be her courage. And that’s exactly what she told her parents. They weren’t so happy, saying that it would be a burden for him, he has to work too. She only told them that she would die anyway if the medication doesn’t work, might as well not to do it and die as she should be. Her parents were astounded. She knew they had agreed on it by that time.
Her anesthesia was wearing off when she woke up in Yunho’s room. How she missed it! She used to hide here from JiHye when they were playing hide and seek. But instead of a picture of the three of them on the night table, she saw two smiling faces of Yunho & Jaejoong staring back at her. Jaejoong was leaning on Yunho while the other held him close in the waist. And suddenly that alone burnt her with rage and envy. She was lying there not knowing whether there will be tomorrow for her, that happiness should belong to her! She’d been waiting for Yunho for so long, she deserved the happiness more! And she couldn’t fight for her happiness without him! It’s impossible!
She found the strength to walk down the stairs to look for everyone. Where were they? Why did they leave her alone when she was sick? She found the Jung’s family room’s door slightly opened, she couldn’t help herself to take a peek. The air in the room felt heavy… she heard each conversation. So they were going to lie to her? Did they know that she’s dying? Did they know that she might not survive? Yunho was only going give her 3 months of happiness while the healthy Jaejoong could have him for the rest of his life?
She was blinded by envy and jealousy. A gasp was heard from her back and she saw the shocked faces of her parents that she was listening to the discussion. They came closer as if to stop her from listening, to stop her to find out their lie to her. She knew she wouldn’t have had another time to decide for her happiness and she just pushed the door open and practically begged them to let her have Yunho, and she used his promise to remind him again that he belonged to her. And then it was darkness.
The next day when she woke up, it was already morning. Her parents were sitting by her bed and told her to get up and have breakfast. They should get ready to get to the hospital. Nobody informed her what happened after the discussion last night and she wasn’t interested to ask either. But she noticed Yunho’s miserable smile when she joined them in the dining table. JiHye excused herself right away, saying that she needed to go for an early exam. No one said anything and she dared herself to ask why Jaejoong wasn’t there to join them for breakfast. It seemed that nobody breaths. The young butler, Shim Changmin who’s serving tea happily informed that “Master Jaejoong suddenly received an urgent call from the agency last night and required to stay at the dorm for awhile. Something about Mr. Park having a hard time to handle some trainees?” She knew that he lied through his teeth but she didn’t care anyway, as long as Yunho’s staying.
Her blood lab result indicated stage two. She had to go through 25 times radiation and another 10 chemotherapies. It was three months of hell. She felt tired all the time, vomited, lost weight and all the attractiveness she used to have as an actress. Her skin got darker because of the radiation. All the while Yunho faithfully stayed with her and never once mentioned Jaejoong’s name in front of her. But he was still surprised when she mentioned marriage. He wasn’t ready. She told him that even though the medication was a success, she would still have to be monitored for another 5 years. The doctor already mentioned that a relapse is highly possible. Wouldn’t he want to give her happiness for the short future that she might have? After all, didn’t he promise that she would be his future? Yunho is a kind hearted man and she used it well. Yunho didn’t say much when she announced the plan to both families. Her parents were no doubt beyond happy and even though the Jungs smiled and hugged them both, their eyes showed a little sadness on their son.
As the wedding nearer, she prepared herself well. She ate more and had a beautician to care for her twice a week. She wanted to be perfect from head to toe. Her doctor was elated, she recovered well and much sooner than expected. Then she asked him the questions that had been hanging on her head since Yunho chose to stay with her. Sex & possibilities to have children. Sex was fine as long as they did it carefully since her body was still weak, but a child was not an option in the near future. Not at least she had recovered fully and cleared totally from the cancer cell. Otherwise her body might not be able to adjust to pregnancy, but the more serious problem was that she could transfer the cancer cell to her child. Though the probability of her to give birth to a child was there (as low as 5%) it’s definitely highly unrecommended. She nodded and told her doctor she understood. But deep down inside she knew that as low as the risk, she would take it if it meant that Yunho would never leave her. He always loves children and if he has one of his own, there’s no way that he wouldn’t stay. She realized that she had been a selfish person but it was nothing compared to the future that she might have with him.
Getting Yunho to have sex with her was not difficult. He’s a healthy young man. Though he never showed any sexual interest for her, or women in general (that confirmed her guess that he’s always been gay) being celibate for more than 3 months were not helping when he’s under the influence of drug. Yes, she drugged him with her own sleeping pill that the doctor gave her to ease her pain after each radiation & chemo and put her to sleep for a long time. She just needed to put one third of it into his dinner. She asked for one in the bedroom, just the two of them. It was enough to put him into a half conscious state. She led her on his own bed and the things that she learned from the internet were put into practice. The touches at the right places… the erogenous zone that was a dot on the screen she now kissed… She was in heaven… with Yunho panted under her, held her hips strongly as she put herself down on his manhood… it was painful for a few seconds but then they were both in nirvana. So this was what sex with Yunho like. She wondered how many times Jaejoong had enjoyed it. And when Yunho came into her, she knew that her wish had been completed. He belonged to her now as she belonged to him. And the look on his face when he woke up with both of them naked on the bed she would never forget. Since then… sex with her was like an obligation for him, a way to satisfy his primal desire but mostly a confirmation for her fear that he would never leave her.
She was 6 weeks pregnant when they were married, not 3 like their agencies announced - they’re trying to be modest. Her doctor was furious but she managed to shed some tears and told him that she didn’t mean to get pregnant and please give her a chance to be a mother. Oh, she loved acting, especially when The pregnancy was proven to be hard for her body… but she made it through with Yunho’s presence by her side. On 12 November, Jung Moonbin was born into the world as a healthy boy, free from any cancer cell that might infected him… The tiny boy was a miracle not only for her but also for Yunho. He kept crying when he held his baby for the first time, their parents couldn’t help to cry with him too. And JiHye was the one who held him close when the baby was taken to the nurse station. He didn’t stop crying, almost like broken. For what reason, she didn’t know except that she shouldn’t be worry anymore.
But once Moonbin was home, Yunho poured all of his attention to him. They rarely had sex with an excuse that she shouldn’t be too tired, she still had to take care of Moonbin while Yunho returned to acting, stared in a few movies though he always made sure to return home no matter how late he finish. She was desperate for his touch that when Moonbin turned 5 months she locked the door to the baby’s room; waited for Yunho to get home. She didn’t give him the key, even when they could hear him crying his heart out, probably hungry or just needed a diaper change. Right the, she’s most important. She took off all of her clothes in hysterics to get him to sleep with her. Yunho tried his best to calm her down, but she didn’t listen, she just couldn’t. She tried to rip off his clothes and pants, much to her annoyance Yunho was stronger than her; he’s a man after all. And that was when he slapped him for the first time. She was stunned and speechless. He broke the baby’s room door and picked Moonbin up from his crib, craddled him in his arms while she was still standing naked outside the door with a read left cheek & hollow eyes. For how long she stayed like that she was clueless but the next thing she felt was Yunho’s arms around her whispering apology… She got her sex that night. To prevent the same thing to happen again, Yunho never refused sex whenever she asked for it under one condition, he must wear protection. He didn’t want her to get pregnant again in her unstable mind. She was fine with it.
She thought that she led a perfect marriage life now… until yesterday evening. She was taking Moonbin to the mainhouse to play with her parents in law and overheard JiHye talking on the phone. She heard a name that she hasn’t heard for a long time. A name that she thought had long gone from her life, from their lives. Kim Jaejoong. JiHye was leaving a message to Jaejoong, saying that she’s been calling him many times, that she missed him dearly and asked him to meet someone. She could only drew one conclusion, they still kept in touch with Jaejoong. From the sound of it, it’s not like she missed him for not meeting him in 2 years… they must’ve met many times after he left. Did Yunho see him all the time too?
Her fear rose again, this time tenfold. She could own Yunho, held the papers that legalize her status as his wife, but she knew she could never beat Jaejoong for the position should there come a second time. She had seen his unconditional love for Yunho that gave her what she had now. And she was just a sick, selfish & obsessed woman. There’s now way that she would let him slip his way into their lives once again. She tried to keep her calm through the night though Yunho was a little taken aback with her agressiveness in bed. She didn’t care, she just needed to find a way to keep him. Any way.
She did her chores like usual, made breakfast for Yunho, kissed him goodbye, fed Moonbin, called Kibum - the new butler - to help her get someone to fix the side window that couldn’t be closed, it’s winter so it’s really annoying to have a cold air sipping in in the heat. But fear, envy, jealousy, insecurity… all merged into one as the day grew dark… she suddenly felt hot… everything burnt her that she had to run to the bathroom, shed every single thread on her body and drowned herself in a tub full of cold water… until she could feel them no more…
Now there is warmth… she feels fingers caressing her forehead… she doesn’t hear Moonbin’s voice anymore, he must be sleeping now… what time is it? She opens her eyes and looks into her husband’s worried face. He holds her hands tightly and drew a relieved sigh…
“Oh dear… Soon Mi… what’s going on?? Why did you do that?? What happened??” He asked, genuninely worried for her, she could tell.
“When did you find me? What time is it? Where’s Moonbin?” she couldn’t stop the questions to slip from her mouth.
“Umma & Appa are taking care of him, he’s sleeping at the main house right now. It’s already 11am and I found you around midnight when I got home,” he answered in one breath, “What’s wrong?”
'Jaejoong is wrong' she wanted to say. But the sight of his forlorn face made her wince. Still, it didn’t stop her mouth from her effort to bind him forever, “Yunho, will you do me another favor?”
He was stunned for while before he returned to himself, “Favor? What favor can a husband give to his wife?”
“Something that maybe another wife doesn’t have to ask her husband… but I do anyway! So will you?”
“…”
“I… I want another child…”
Yunho went still. His hands stopped caressing her. And he didn’t even blink, he just stared.
“I want another child from you… our child… to be Moonbin’s sister or brother.”
She realized she just made another selfish request. Everything was legal for her, as long as she was sure that Yunho was not going anywhere. And she would make sure that Kim Jaejoong wouldn’t even be in his dictionary, even when it meant that she was risking another life to carry her illness into the world.
* * * * *
Chapter 8
Chapter 7: Han Soon Mi
She feels lightheaded… and cold… and empty… What’s going on with her? Well, maybe everything’s just going wrong, she can’t tell anymore. Just not long ago she felt so hot, as if her body was being burnt. So she went into the bathroom and let the cold water filled the tub to cover her completely. She could hear her son crying distantly but she surrendered to the need of coolness. That’s fine, her husband should be home any time and take care of Moonbin, she’ll only be here for a short while.
Husband… that’s what she called the man that’s become her longtime obsession. It’s true that in the end she got what she always wanted, for Yunho to be her man… her husband, to stand by her through the good and through the bad, just like their marriage vow. He’s been faithful but now she’s not so sure if she really owned him completely. He’s a good man, the world would agree. More than that he’s perfect for her. No one else had been patient enough to tend to her weak body when she was young. She got tired so easily, she lost her breath all the time when they asked her to run. In the end, they all left her behind, except for Yunho & JiHye. They were the ones that stayed and held her up.
Why is it cold now? Is it my skin or my heart? She can’t tell. Yunho has always been her fire. Passionate, full of energy and yet he burnt something inside of her that gave her the courage to do things that she never thought she could. And being an actress was definitely not something that her parents thought would be her career. But she could do it to be close to Yunho.
Oh, she knew that Yunho didn’t make his promise to her seriously, she chuckled. He just wanted her to stop crying and to move willingly with her parents. She might be weak, but she’s not dumb. Still, the promise was what had brought her so far today. To finally be the wife to Jung Yunho and mother to Jung Moonbin, their little miracle. Mrs. Jung Yunho… what a dream to be entitled for the name.
She never missed the sparkle in Yunho’s eyes when he looked at his manager then, Kim Jaejoong. It was undeniable that what they shared was special. Especially when they could keep a low profile and did their own job professionaly, purely like a business relationship. They must have had a strong trust. It’s impossible to keep a straight face when your partner was having a bed scene in front of your eyes, and then you had to be the one to tell him that the director thought he was distracted and didn’t show his best “bed expression”. Only the both of them could. Her suspicions were confirmed when one day she saw Yunho stole a kiss from Jaejoong behind the set. She could never erase the smile & the loving gaze that they were exchanging after the kiss. Pure love, pure trust. And she started to envy Kim Jaejoong.
She was over the roof when Yunho decided to tend to her at his home when she fell sick at the set (how fortunate! She really didn’t make it up!). She was ecstatic. But her world crumbled all over her just a couple of hours later when the doctor told her that he found a blood cancer cell from her lab result. He said he still couldn’t’ confirm the stage so he took some more blood from her back for further examination. It was terribly painful but the thought of going to spend more time with Yunho later made her bear with them all. She could do it.
Her parents came to the hospital with Uncle & Aunty Jung. They cared about her so much. The doctor asked them all to gather in his office and explained that she should start her medication soon. The result from the examination will determine the dose the right amount of medication she should receive. Her parents were shocked, the Jungs were speechless. But she told them that she would get through it just fine. The doctor explained that she would be required to stay in Seoul during the medication and the Jungs quickly offered to take care of her. She was sure they would, but she wanted more. She wanted Yunho to be with her, to be her pillar of strength, to be her courage. And that’s exactly what she told her parents. They weren’t so happy, saying that it would be a burden for him, he has to work too. She only told them that she would die anyway if the medication doesn’t work, might as well not to do it and die as she should be. Her parents were astounded. She knew they had agreed on it by that time.
Her anesthesia was wearing off when she woke up in Yunho’s room. How she missed it! She used to hide here from JiHye when they were playing hide and seek. But instead of a picture of the three of them on the night table, she saw two smiling faces of Yunho & Jaejoong staring back at her. Jaejoong was leaning on Yunho while the other held him close in the waist. And suddenly that alone burnt her with rage and envy. She was lying there not knowing whether there will be tomorrow for her, that happiness should belong to her! She’d been waiting for Yunho for so long, she deserved the happiness more! And she couldn’t fight for her happiness without him! It’s impossible!
She found the strength to walk down the stairs to look for everyone. Where were they? Why did they leave her alone when she was sick? She found the Jung’s family room’s door slightly opened, she couldn’t help herself to take a peek. The air in the room felt heavy… she heard each conversation. So they were going to lie to her? Did they know that she’s dying? Did they know that she might not survive? Yunho was only going give her 3 months of happiness while the healthy Jaejoong could have him for the rest of his life?
She was blinded by envy and jealousy. A gasp was heard from her back and she saw the shocked faces of her parents that she was listening to the discussion. They came closer as if to stop her from listening, to stop her to find out their lie to her. She knew she wouldn’t have had another time to decide for her happiness and she just pushed the door open and practically begged them to let her have Yunho, and she used his promise to remind him again that he belonged to her. And then it was darkness.
The next day when she woke up, it was already morning. Her parents were sitting by her bed and told her to get up and have breakfast. They should get ready to get to the hospital. Nobody informed her what happened after the discussion last night and she wasn’t interested to ask either. But she noticed Yunho’s miserable smile when she joined them in the dining table. JiHye excused herself right away, saying that she needed to go for an early exam. No one said anything and she dared herself to ask why Jaejoong wasn’t there to join them for breakfast. It seemed that nobody breaths. The young butler, Shim Changmin who’s serving tea happily informed that “Master Jaejoong suddenly received an urgent call from the agency last night and required to stay at the dorm for awhile. Something about Mr. Park having a hard time to handle some trainees?” She knew that he lied through his teeth but she didn’t care anyway, as long as Yunho’s staying.
Her blood lab result indicated stage two. She had to go through 25 times radiation and another 10 chemotherapies. It was three months of hell. She felt tired all the time, vomited, lost weight and all the attractiveness she used to have as an actress. Her skin got darker because of the radiation. All the while Yunho faithfully stayed with her and never once mentioned Jaejoong’s name in front of her. But he was still surprised when she mentioned marriage. He wasn’t ready. She told him that even though the medication was a success, she would still have to be monitored for another 5 years. The doctor already mentioned that a relapse is highly possible. Wouldn’t he want to give her happiness for the short future that she might have? After all, didn’t he promise that she would be his future? Yunho is a kind hearted man and she used it well. Yunho didn’t say much when she announced the plan to both families. Her parents were no doubt beyond happy and even though the Jungs smiled and hugged them both, their eyes showed a little sadness on their son.
As the wedding nearer, she prepared herself well. She ate more and had a beautician to care for her twice a week. She wanted to be perfect from head to toe. Her doctor was elated, she recovered well and much sooner than expected. Then she asked him the questions that had been hanging on her head since Yunho chose to stay with her. Sex & possibilities to have children. Sex was fine as long as they did it carefully since her body was still weak, but a child was not an option in the near future. Not at least she had recovered fully and cleared totally from the cancer cell. Otherwise her body might not be able to adjust to pregnancy, but the more serious problem was that she could transfer the cancer cell to her child. Though the probability of her to give birth to a child was there (as low as 5%) it’s definitely highly unrecommended. She nodded and told her doctor she understood. But deep down inside she knew that as low as the risk, she would take it if it meant that Yunho would never leave her. He always loves children and if he has one of his own, there’s no way that he wouldn’t stay. She realized that she had been a selfish person but it was nothing compared to the future that she might have with him.
Getting Yunho to have sex with her was not difficult. He’s a healthy young man. Though he never showed any sexual interest for her, or women in general (that confirmed her guess that he’s always been gay) being celibate for more than 3 months were not helping when he’s under the influence of drug. Yes, she drugged him with her own sleeping pill that the doctor gave her to ease her pain after each radiation & chemo and put her to sleep for a long time. She just needed to put one third of it into his dinner. She asked for one in the bedroom, just the two of them. It was enough to put him into a half conscious state. She led her on his own bed and the things that she learned from the internet were put into practice. The touches at the right places… the erogenous zone that was a dot on the screen she now kissed… She was in heaven… with Yunho panted under her, held her hips strongly as she put herself down on his manhood… it was painful for a few seconds but then they were both in nirvana. So this was what sex with Yunho like. She wondered how many times Jaejoong had enjoyed it. And when Yunho came into her, she knew that her wish had been completed. He belonged to her now as she belonged to him. And the look on his face when he woke up with both of them naked on the bed she would never forget. Since then… sex with her was like an obligation for him, a way to satisfy his primal desire but mostly a confirmation for her fear that he would never leave her.
She was 6 weeks pregnant when they were married, not 3 like their agencies announced - they’re trying to be modest. Her doctor was furious but she managed to shed some tears and told him that she didn’t mean to get pregnant and please give her a chance to be a mother. Oh, she loved acting, especially when The pregnancy was proven to be hard for her body… but she made it through with Yunho’s presence by her side. On 12 November, Jung Moonbin was born into the world as a healthy boy, free from any cancer cell that might infected him… The tiny boy was a miracle not only for her but also for Yunho. He kept crying when he held his baby for the first time, their parents couldn’t help to cry with him too. And JiHye was the one who held him close when the baby was taken to the nurse station. He didn’t stop crying, almost like broken. For what reason, she didn’t know except that she shouldn’t be worry anymore.
But once Moonbin was home, Yunho poured all of his attention to him. They rarely had sex with an excuse that she shouldn’t be too tired, she still had to take care of Moonbin while Yunho returned to acting, stared in a few movies though he always made sure to return home no matter how late he finish. She was desperate for his touch that when Moonbin turned 5 months she locked the door to the baby’s room; waited for Yunho to get home. She didn’t give him the key, even when they could hear him crying his heart out, probably hungry or just needed a diaper change. Right the, she’s most important. She took off all of her clothes in hysterics to get him to sleep with her. Yunho tried his best to calm her down, but she didn’t listen, she just couldn’t. She tried to rip off his clothes and pants, much to her annoyance Yunho was stronger than her; he’s a man after all. And that was when he slapped him for the first time. She was stunned and speechless. He broke the baby’s room door and picked Moonbin up from his crib, craddled him in his arms while she was still standing naked outside the door with a read left cheek & hollow eyes. For how long she stayed like that she was clueless but the next thing she felt was Yunho’s arms around her whispering apology… She got her sex that night. To prevent the same thing to happen again, Yunho never refused sex whenever she asked for it under one condition, he must wear protection. He didn’t want her to get pregnant again in her unstable mind. She was fine with it.
She thought that she led a perfect marriage life now… until yesterday evening. She was taking Moonbin to the mainhouse to play with her parents in law and overheard JiHye talking on the phone. She heard a name that she hasn’t heard for a long time. A name that she thought had long gone from her life, from their lives. Kim Jaejoong. JiHye was leaving a message to Jaejoong, saying that she’s been calling him many times, that she missed him dearly and asked him to meet someone. She could only drew one conclusion, they still kept in touch with Jaejoong. From the sound of it, it’s not like she missed him for not meeting him in 2 years… they must’ve met many times after he left. Did Yunho see him all the time too?
Her fear rose again, this time tenfold. She could own Yunho, held the papers that legalize her status as his wife, but she knew she could never beat Jaejoong for the position should there come a second time. She had seen his unconditional love for Yunho that gave her what she had now. And she was just a sick, selfish & obsessed woman. There’s now way that she would let him slip his way into their lives once again. She tried to keep her calm through the night though Yunho was a little taken aback with her agressiveness in bed. She didn’t care, she just needed to find a way to keep him. Any way.
She did her chores like usual, made breakfast for Yunho, kissed him goodbye, fed Moonbin, called Kibum - the new butler - to help her get someone to fix the side window that couldn’t be closed, it’s winter so it’s really annoying to have a cold air sipping in in the heat. But fear, envy, jealousy, insecurity… all merged into one as the day grew dark… she suddenly felt hot… everything burnt her that she had to run to the bathroom, shed every single thread on her body and drowned herself in a tub full of cold water… until she could feel them no more…
Now there is warmth… she feels fingers caressing her forehead… she doesn’t hear Moonbin’s voice anymore, he must be sleeping now… what time is it? She opens her eyes and looks into her husband’s worried face. He holds her hands tightly and drew a relieved sigh…
“Oh dear… Soon Mi… what’s going on?? Why did you do that?? What happened??” He asked, genuninely worried for her, she could tell.
“When did you find me? What time is it? Where’s Moonbin?” she couldn’t stop the questions to slip from her mouth.
“Umma & Appa are taking care of him, he’s sleeping at the main house right now. It’s already 11am and I found you around midnight when I got home,” he answered in one breath, “What’s wrong?”
'Jaejoong is wrong' she wanted to say. But the sight of his forlorn face made her wince. Still, it didn’t stop her mouth from her effort to bind him forever, “Yunho, will you do me another favor?”
He was stunned for while before he returned to himself, “Favor? What favor can a husband give to his wife?”
“Something that maybe another wife doesn’t have to ask her husband… but I do anyway! So will you?”
“…”
“I… I want another child…”
Yunho went still. His hands stopped caressing her. And he didn’t even blink, he just stared.
“I want another child from you… our child… to be Moonbin’s sister or brother.”
She realized she just made another selfish request. Everything was legal for her, as long as she was sure that Yunho was not going anywhere. And she would make sure that Kim Jaejoong wouldn’t even be in his dictionary, even when it meant that she was risking another life to carry her illness into the world.
* * * * *
Chapter 8