Everything Happens For a Reason, Chapter 14
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Chapter 14: Mixed Feelings & a New Reason
Jaejoong hummed happily in the kitchen as he moved around preparing breakfast for Moonbin and Yoochun. He made an extra portion since Yunho already called last night that he’s coming this morning to pick up his son.
The past two days had been great for him. Playing with Binnie, going to the mall and had a tickling battle - all 3 of them before bed. And when the little boy had gone to bed, he and Yoochun would show their love to each other in the most intimate way… Especially last night had been memorable. They took time in exploring each other as if to get to know their lover better and to make sure that they didn’t miss a thing to kiss or hold or caress… Jaejoong couldn’t help the blush that’s spreading on his cheeks. He’s happy that he had given himself time to actually love the other man and couldn’t thank him enough for being patient in loving him.
It’s already 8 but neither Moonbin nor Yoochun had made it out of their bedrooms. He has to wake the little boy up first, Yunho will be here any moment.
Moonbin was sleeping on his side, holding the water pistol that Yoochun bought him 2 days ago. Though both adults told him that he couldn’t play with it inside the house, he still wouldn’t let go and held it while sleeping. The swimming lesson yesterday was cancelled due to him having a runny nose (probably from being too tired the day before and eating too much ice cream at the Mall). He’s going to miss him… but Jaejoong also has to return to his activity with his boys.
He laid down beside Moonbin and rubbed his back… “Morning baby boy, wakey wakey… Appa is coming to get you shortly…”
The little boy stirred in his sleep, but didn’t open his eyes. Jaejoong tried once again by giving a gentle shake on his shoulder, “Come on Binnie, I thought you missed Appa? Appa is coming… wake up…”
Finally the Moonbin opened his eyes and stared at him. “Appa coming?”
Jaejoong laughed at his question, knowing just how much he missed his father. He propped his head on his left arm, “Not yet Baby, but he will be very soon. Aren’t you eager to be home and see Min Young and Gamma and Gappa too?” He put his right hand across the boy’s tummy.
Moonbin’s staring at the ceiling. “But Umma is not home anymore, right Jejussi?”
The older man could feel a lump behind his throat and his eyes stung. So he pulled him into his arms and said, “But everyone will be there for you. I’ll be here for you, and so will Chun Ahjussi. Changmin-hyung, JiHye-noona… you won’t feel lonely, believe me. You miss Umma?”
The boy didn’t say anything but buried his head deeper in Jaejoong’s chest.
Jaejoong held him for awhile, feeling so unsure of this child’s feeling towards his dead mother and how his father’s going make it up for him; until Moonbin broke the silence.
“Jejussi… Did Umma like me? Was it because I’m bad that she went to heaven?” he mumbled in his chest.
“Yes, she loved you so much and no, you’re not a bad boy, my Son.” A deep voice was heard from the bedroom door. And Yunho stepped in, standing by his son’s bed.
Jaejoong was startled to see him there, he let go of Moonbin and stood up while the boy was just staring back at the ceiling and didn’t even look up at the his Father, the one he said he had been missing just a few minutes ago.
“ Sorry, I rang the bell and um… Yoochun opened it for me.” He told the house owner as they stood awkwardly facing each other.
“Oh well, it’s about time. So-I-I’ll be outside.” Jaejoong rushed through the door. He glimpsed at Yunho who was sitting on the bed as he closed the door behind him, and found Yoochun standing at a feet away with a look that he couldn’t recognize.
For no reason, the other’s gaze felt like boring hole into his and he felt hot.
“Thanks for opening the front door, I didn’t hear it.” He told Yoochun as he walked into the kitchen to continue his cooking.
“I saw you on the bed with Moonbin, so I opened it for him.” The other replied. “Sorry I have to miss breakfast now, gotta return to have a change of clothes before I head to the office. My secretary’s call woke me up, I almost miss an important appointment.”
Just then Jaejoong realized that Yoochun was already dressed and ready to leave. Suddenly he felt guilty. So he trailed behind Yoochun who was walking to the front door to get his shoes.
“Oh gosh, I’m sorry I haven’t finished cooking breakfast! I thought I should wake Binnie up before Yunho came but-“
“No problem dear,” Yoochun shut him up with a peck on his lips. “I hope the little guy doesn’t feel so guilty about his mother and his father could give him a good explanation. He’s a good kid.”
It felt strange to hear those words from his mouth but Jaejoong didn’t say it.
“I’ll see you in the office later?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong smiled, “Yeah. I’ll be there after getting the boys in the studio for their practice. See you,” he kissed the other man.
A minute later Jaejoong was still standing in the spot where Yoochun left him. He suddenly lost his confidence. He was so sure about his relationship with Yoochun when he woke up this morning… even when he was starting to cook breakfast. But his resolution crumbled the moment he shared an emotional moment with Moonbin. And the other Jung just had to step in at that moment to witness his closeness to his son.
It’s another side of him that he refused to show Yunho after they separated. The feeling of attachment to another human being, be it a little boy… and Yunho’s own son! He didn’t mind for his ex to see him being in love, but being dependent on somebody or someone that others depend on was something that he considered as his weakness that put him to where he is today. Perhaps Yoochun was right, he was getting too attached to Jung Moonbin like he was with Jung Yunho.
He could hear Moonbin crying all the way from the bedroom, he must’ve had realized now that his Mother will never come back. Whatever Yunho told his son, Jaejoong was glad that he could make the boy cried his heart out. No matter how painful truth is, he personally thinks that it’s a hundred times better than sweet hidden lies. That boy should know that even if his mother didn’t love him the way she should, he’s loved by others a lot more. And his father should know just as much.
* * * * *
Jaejoong ended up having breakfast on his own. By the time Yunho came out from Moonbin’s room, it’s already half past 10. The older Jung took a seat in the kitchen counter while he prepared a cup of coffee for him. Nothing said between the 2 men.
When the coffee’s ready, Jaejoong brought it in the counter and gave it to Yunho. “Here’s your coffee.”
“Thanks.”
They both sat across each other in silence.
“How is he? I could hear him crying all the way to front door.” he asked in concern.
Yunho sighed, “He‘s fine now. He finally understood that we sent him here not because he’s naughty or because his mother wouldn’t see him. I told him that his mother loved him so much, she didn’t want him to be sad when she’s gone. He understood.”
“Great, so what’s he doing in there now?”
“He’s taking a bath. Though I offered to help him he said he’s fine, he’s a big boy and you always let him take a bath on his own.”
Jaejoong smiled, “Yes I always did. I wasn’t used in bathing children, so I told him that if he wants to grow up like his Appa he had to start bathing and eating by himself. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. It’s good for him, since I won’t be around much to help him with the little things I’m happy that you did. Can’t thank you enough.” He looked at him appreciatively.
“That’s fine for me… but Yunho, what did mean that you won’t be around him much? You’re his only parent now.” Jaejoong asked in confusion.
“Well, first there is Min Young that needs my undivided attention. So far she’s showing a stable condition but you also know that everything is still uncertain until she’s old enough to receive the proper medication. I have to watch her intensely for any slight change. Other than that… Umma and Appa had asked me to return to work. They have collected some scripts that Yoochun sent over to my house, and asked me to read them over and see if anything interests me.”
“I see… but… I just hope that you spend more time with Moonbin whenever you have time.”
“Of course! I’ll… try… but I’m sure he won’t be lonely. We’re moving back to the main house, and so are Changmin and JiHye. My family will help to watch over him.”
Jaejoong groaned in frustration. “Yunho! You’re his father! I understand that Min Young needs a special care, but he’s your son! You haven’t spent a lot of time with him since he was born!”
A slight annoyance clearly showed in Yunho’s face, “I know very well of that fact that I don’t need someone else to say it to my face! But my Moonbin is a healthy boy, and Min Young… I- I don’t’ even know if she’s going to make it through the day! Every time she didn’t make a sound my heart also stopped! You don’t understand so you have no right to tell me what kind of father I should be!” His tone was rising with each word he spat in Jaejoong’s face.
Jaejoong was angry… but he tried hard not to blow up, “You’re right, I don’t understand; since I’m not married and have no child of my own.” he said slowly. He saw Yunho’s face quickly changed into regret.
“But your son felt that you didn’t love him too. He may be a healthy child Yunho, but doesn’t mean he has a healthy heart. He’s not even five, but he understood that his parents were busy with his sick little sister. He understood that he shouldn’t ask for attention when children his age keep seeking for one.”
He looked into the taller man’s eyes, intently.
“I know that Min Young is weak, but you also hired a professional nurse to watch over her 24/7. Moonbin needs you as much as Min Young does… it’s too sad for him if his father think that a healthy child equals a happy boy.”
Jaejoong stood up and turned around just as Moonbin opened his bedroom door and called out his name, “Jejussi!”
Jaejoong tried to smile and erase the trace of anger from his face, but it seemed that he wasn’t so successful as the boy timidly asked, “Jejussi, are you angry?”
He took a deep breath and this time he gave out a genuine smile, “No Binnie, why should I be angry? Packed and ready to go home now?” He squatted in front of Moonbin.
He nodded, “Yes! Appa helped me packed. I need another bag, my clothes didn’t fit.”
Jaejoong pinched the chubby cheek, “No need, just leave them here. So next time you have something to wear to sleep when JiHye-noona take you here for a nap, okay.” He stood up again. “Come, let’s get your things out, I’m sure that Gamma and Gappa are missing you so much at home.”
“I miss them too. Jejussi, Binnie can take the water gun from Chun-Ahjussi?” he asked him as they entered the bedroom.
“Definitely! It’s yours anyway. But remember not to play with it inside the house, okay?”
* * * * *
Yunho didn’t move from his seat as he watched his ex-lover and his son walked hand in hand inside the bedroom. He felt so bad towards Jaejoong. He knew that the man meat well, but he had so much on his mind right now.
He realized that he hadn’t spent much time with his Son, but it’s not fair for Jaejoong to think that he didn’t care! He does and so much! But he can’t ignore his daughter’s condition as well. And damn if everyone thought that he got over Soon Mi’s death already! The way his wife ended her life is still unfathomable for him. It’s an understatement to say that he’s sad and disappointed. Above everything, he felt that he had failed in all attempts to make her live a longer life. Everything that he had done was in vain.
But no, he wasn’t even given time to mourn over the woman who gave him his two lovely children. Everybody expected him to get back on his feet again, back on his career and his new life as a father of two. He never loved Soon Mi like he loved Jaejoong, but was it wrong if he loved her in another way? Would he even slept with her and married her if he didn’t love her a bit? To save her life? Might be in the first few months. But he had seen how hard she struggled with her medication that he believed she might not had tomorrow of not because of his presence in her life.
His head was heavy when he woke up this morning. But after seeing his angel Min Young and getting ready to pick up his son he felt a thousand times better. Until he found his boss opening Jaejoong’s front door for him. And he didn’t look like he just arrived. His mood dropped a few degrees.
Was it jealousy? He’s not sure, they haven’t event had anything more than a couple of light conversations regarding the current entertainment industry where both of them were involved. Or sometimes about his children. Yes, he heard that Jaejoong was going out with Yoochun and he was happy that the man could finally find his happiness. But still, to see another man in Jaejoong’s house where his son was also staying kind of pissed him. It’s like giving him an opportunity to play family with Moonbin. And for him, no one but Jaejoong is allowed to get close to any of his family member. God, he felt like a jerk for thinking that way!! But no one told him that he couldn’t!
He knew his words earlier hurt Jaejoong, he didn’t mean to but it’s painful to see the truth that the other man knew and understood his own son better than himself! He should apologize cause he couldn’t stand to see Jaejoong resent him more.
Moonbin was pulling his wheeled little luggage while Jaejoong was walking behind him.
“Appa, let’s go home! Binnie wants to play with Min Young!” he told him excitedly.
“Sure Baby, you can see her all you want now but she’s not big enough to play with you. So Binnie take care of her so she can grow up to play with you, okay?” he told him eagerly as he tried to hide the tears that threatened to fall.
They all walked to the front door and Yunho turned around to see Jaejoong once again.
“Jae, thanks for everything… I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I didn’t mean it, really-“
“Yeah, I know you didn’t. Just… think it over… what I told you, please?” He shot him a hopeful look.
Yunho smiled, “I will, I will… well I,” he couldn’t hold it anymore and took a step forward to hug him, “thank you, really…”
Jaejoong returned his hug and patted his back, “No need for thanks Yunho… just promise me that you’ll be good?” He pulled away.
“Of course… I promise.”
Moonbin just finished wearing his Velcro strap shoes and shouted at Jaejoong, “Hug Binnie too, Jejussi! Binnie wants a hug!”
Jaejoong reached out and lifted him in his arms.
“Binnie, promise Jejussi that you will take care of Appa and Min Young. I’ll miss you.” He embraced the boy tightly.
“I promise! Binnie will come again to sleep in Binnie’s room here.” He said that made the 2 grown men laughed. “Binnie will miss Jejussi. Jejussi come to Binnie’s house too!”
“Okay, I’ll come when I can make it… until then, you can always ask JiHye-noona to call me when you miss me, got it?” He kissed the boy’s cheeks. He was about to put him down when suddenly Moonbin grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips. “Binnie loves Jejussi.”
Jaejoong was speechless… he tried hard not to get emotional and he could only replied to him softly, “I love you too.”
Yunho couldn’t take his gaze away from everything that had happened in front of him. He felt like he wanted to break down right then and there; but he knew better not to let his emotion got the better of him.
One thing he had to admit, that was the most beautiful love confession that he had ever witnessed in his life.
* * * * *
Both Jungs just left half an hour ago. And he only have another hour before he should leave to pick up his boys from the dorm below to get to the studio. He decided to clean up a little, otherwise he would feel too tired to do it later. And he hated a dirty home.
As he entered Moonbin’s room, there’s a rush of longing filling his senses. He folded Moonbin’s clothes on the bed and started to clean up his playing area when he noticed his drawing pad. He opened it and smiled at the colorful monsters that he drew. But the drawing on the 5th page stunned him.
In that page, there’s a drawing that’s similar to a little boy and a grown up watching TV. He instantly recognize the grown up as himself, as the boy drew a star on the shirt - his shirt that he let the boy wore on his first napping time in the house. But what made him cried was that the boy in the picture was leaning his head on his arm. And there’s a drawing of a love symbol below them.
The tears that he’d been trying to hold just poured down freely as he clutched the drawing book close to his heart. He didn’t realize that he had come to love the boy like his own. When people thought that it’s him that the boy depended on, it was actually him who depended on Moonbin. His presence had awoken something in him that he lost when he left the Jung mansion.
After the painful separation, the long waiting and a new love… He had found a new reason in Moonbin. That for everything that he had gone through, it was for him to be there for the little child. He’s not sure of what his role is in the boy’s future, but for now Moonbin should learn to live a complete family with the Jungs. But he will make sure that he will have a brighter future than himself.
He knew he just decided on something big… wasn’t he always? He just hope that this time he really made the right one.
* * * * *
Chapter 15
Chapter 14: Mixed Feelings & a New Reason
Jaejoong hummed happily in the kitchen as he moved around preparing breakfast for Moonbin and Yoochun. He made an extra portion since Yunho already called last night that he’s coming this morning to pick up his son.
The past two days had been great for him. Playing with Binnie, going to the mall and had a tickling battle - all 3 of them before bed. And when the little boy had gone to bed, he and Yoochun would show their love to each other in the most intimate way… Especially last night had been memorable. They took time in exploring each other as if to get to know their lover better and to make sure that they didn’t miss a thing to kiss or hold or caress… Jaejoong couldn’t help the blush that’s spreading on his cheeks. He’s happy that he had given himself time to actually love the other man and couldn’t thank him enough for being patient in loving him.
It’s already 8 but neither Moonbin nor Yoochun had made it out of their bedrooms. He has to wake the little boy up first, Yunho will be here any moment.
Moonbin was sleeping on his side, holding the water pistol that Yoochun bought him 2 days ago. Though both adults told him that he couldn’t play with it inside the house, he still wouldn’t let go and held it while sleeping. The swimming lesson yesterday was cancelled due to him having a runny nose (probably from being too tired the day before and eating too much ice cream at the Mall). He’s going to miss him… but Jaejoong also has to return to his activity with his boys.
He laid down beside Moonbin and rubbed his back… “Morning baby boy, wakey wakey… Appa is coming to get you shortly…”
The little boy stirred in his sleep, but didn’t open his eyes. Jaejoong tried once again by giving a gentle shake on his shoulder, “Come on Binnie, I thought you missed Appa? Appa is coming… wake up…”
Finally the Moonbin opened his eyes and stared at him. “Appa coming?”
Jaejoong laughed at his question, knowing just how much he missed his father. He propped his head on his left arm, “Not yet Baby, but he will be very soon. Aren’t you eager to be home and see Min Young and Gamma and Gappa too?” He put his right hand across the boy’s tummy.
Moonbin’s staring at the ceiling. “But Umma is not home anymore, right Jejussi?”
The older man could feel a lump behind his throat and his eyes stung. So he pulled him into his arms and said, “But everyone will be there for you. I’ll be here for you, and so will Chun Ahjussi. Changmin-hyung, JiHye-noona… you won’t feel lonely, believe me. You miss Umma?”
The boy didn’t say anything but buried his head deeper in Jaejoong’s chest.
Jaejoong held him for awhile, feeling so unsure of this child’s feeling towards his dead mother and how his father’s going make it up for him; until Moonbin broke the silence.
“Jejussi… Did Umma like me? Was it because I’m bad that she went to heaven?” he mumbled in his chest.
“Yes, she loved you so much and no, you’re not a bad boy, my Son.” A deep voice was heard from the bedroom door. And Yunho stepped in, standing by his son’s bed.
Jaejoong was startled to see him there, he let go of Moonbin and stood up while the boy was just staring back at the ceiling and didn’t even look up at the his Father, the one he said he had been missing just a few minutes ago.
“ Sorry, I rang the bell and um… Yoochun opened it for me.” He told the house owner as they stood awkwardly facing each other.
“Oh well, it’s about time. So-I-I’ll be outside.” Jaejoong rushed through the door. He glimpsed at Yunho who was sitting on the bed as he closed the door behind him, and found Yoochun standing at a feet away with a look that he couldn’t recognize.
For no reason, the other’s gaze felt like boring hole into his and he felt hot.
“Thanks for opening the front door, I didn’t hear it.” He told Yoochun as he walked into the kitchen to continue his cooking.
“I saw you on the bed with Moonbin, so I opened it for him.” The other replied. “Sorry I have to miss breakfast now, gotta return to have a change of clothes before I head to the office. My secretary’s call woke me up, I almost miss an important appointment.”
Just then Jaejoong realized that Yoochun was already dressed and ready to leave. Suddenly he felt guilty. So he trailed behind Yoochun who was walking to the front door to get his shoes.
“Oh gosh, I’m sorry I haven’t finished cooking breakfast! I thought I should wake Binnie up before Yunho came but-“
“No problem dear,” Yoochun shut him up with a peck on his lips. “I hope the little guy doesn’t feel so guilty about his mother and his father could give him a good explanation. He’s a good kid.”
It felt strange to hear those words from his mouth but Jaejoong didn’t say it.
“I’ll see you in the office later?” Yoochun asked.
Jaejoong smiled, “Yeah. I’ll be there after getting the boys in the studio for their practice. See you,” he kissed the other man.
A minute later Jaejoong was still standing in the spot where Yoochun left him. He suddenly lost his confidence. He was so sure about his relationship with Yoochun when he woke up this morning… even when he was starting to cook breakfast. But his resolution crumbled the moment he shared an emotional moment with Moonbin. And the other Jung just had to step in at that moment to witness his closeness to his son.
It’s another side of him that he refused to show Yunho after they separated. The feeling of attachment to another human being, be it a little boy… and Yunho’s own son! He didn’t mind for his ex to see him being in love, but being dependent on somebody or someone that others depend on was something that he considered as his weakness that put him to where he is today. Perhaps Yoochun was right, he was getting too attached to Jung Moonbin like he was with Jung Yunho.
He could hear Moonbin crying all the way from the bedroom, he must’ve had realized now that his Mother will never come back. Whatever Yunho told his son, Jaejoong was glad that he could make the boy cried his heart out. No matter how painful truth is, he personally thinks that it’s a hundred times better than sweet hidden lies. That boy should know that even if his mother didn’t love him the way she should, he’s loved by others a lot more. And his father should know just as much.
* * * * *
Jaejoong ended up having breakfast on his own. By the time Yunho came out from Moonbin’s room, it’s already half past 10. The older Jung took a seat in the kitchen counter while he prepared a cup of coffee for him. Nothing said between the 2 men.
When the coffee’s ready, Jaejoong brought it in the counter and gave it to Yunho. “Here’s your coffee.”
“Thanks.”
They both sat across each other in silence.
“How is he? I could hear him crying all the way to front door.” he asked in concern.
Yunho sighed, “He‘s fine now. He finally understood that we sent him here not because he’s naughty or because his mother wouldn’t see him. I told him that his mother loved him so much, she didn’t want him to be sad when she’s gone. He understood.”
“Great, so what’s he doing in there now?”
“He’s taking a bath. Though I offered to help him he said he’s fine, he’s a big boy and you always let him take a bath on his own.”
Jaejoong smiled, “Yes I always did. I wasn’t used in bathing children, so I told him that if he wants to grow up like his Appa he had to start bathing and eating by himself. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. It’s good for him, since I won’t be around much to help him with the little things I’m happy that you did. Can’t thank you enough.” He looked at him appreciatively.
“That’s fine for me… but Yunho, what did mean that you won’t be around him much? You’re his only parent now.” Jaejoong asked in confusion.
“Well, first there is Min Young that needs my undivided attention. So far she’s showing a stable condition but you also know that everything is still uncertain until she’s old enough to receive the proper medication. I have to watch her intensely for any slight change. Other than that… Umma and Appa had asked me to return to work. They have collected some scripts that Yoochun sent over to my house, and asked me to read them over and see if anything interests me.”
“I see… but… I just hope that you spend more time with Moonbin whenever you have time.”
“Of course! I’ll… try… but I’m sure he won’t be lonely. We’re moving back to the main house, and so are Changmin and JiHye. My family will help to watch over him.”
Jaejoong groaned in frustration. “Yunho! You’re his father! I understand that Min Young needs a special care, but he’s your son! You haven’t spent a lot of time with him since he was born!”
A slight annoyance clearly showed in Yunho’s face, “I know very well of that fact that I don’t need someone else to say it to my face! But my Moonbin is a healthy boy, and Min Young… I- I don’t’ even know if she’s going to make it through the day! Every time she didn’t make a sound my heart also stopped! You don’t understand so you have no right to tell me what kind of father I should be!” His tone was rising with each word he spat in Jaejoong’s face.
Jaejoong was angry… but he tried hard not to blow up, “You’re right, I don’t understand; since I’m not married and have no child of my own.” he said slowly. He saw Yunho’s face quickly changed into regret.
“But your son felt that you didn’t love him too. He may be a healthy child Yunho, but doesn’t mean he has a healthy heart. He’s not even five, but he understood that his parents were busy with his sick little sister. He understood that he shouldn’t ask for attention when children his age keep seeking for one.”
He looked into the taller man’s eyes, intently.
“I know that Min Young is weak, but you also hired a professional nurse to watch over her 24/7. Moonbin needs you as much as Min Young does… it’s too sad for him if his father think that a healthy child equals a happy boy.”
Jaejoong stood up and turned around just as Moonbin opened his bedroom door and called out his name, “Jejussi!”
Jaejoong tried to smile and erase the trace of anger from his face, but it seemed that he wasn’t so successful as the boy timidly asked, “Jejussi, are you angry?”
He took a deep breath and this time he gave out a genuine smile, “No Binnie, why should I be angry? Packed and ready to go home now?” He squatted in front of Moonbin.
He nodded, “Yes! Appa helped me packed. I need another bag, my clothes didn’t fit.”
Jaejoong pinched the chubby cheek, “No need, just leave them here. So next time you have something to wear to sleep when JiHye-noona take you here for a nap, okay.” He stood up again. “Come, let’s get your things out, I’m sure that Gamma and Gappa are missing you so much at home.”
“I miss them too. Jejussi, Binnie can take the water gun from Chun-Ahjussi?” he asked him as they entered the bedroom.
“Definitely! It’s yours anyway. But remember not to play with it inside the house, okay?”
* * * * *
Yunho didn’t move from his seat as he watched his ex-lover and his son walked hand in hand inside the bedroom. He felt so bad towards Jaejoong. He knew that the man meat well, but he had so much on his mind right now.
He realized that he hadn’t spent much time with his Son, but it’s not fair for Jaejoong to think that he didn’t care! He does and so much! But he can’t ignore his daughter’s condition as well. And damn if everyone thought that he got over Soon Mi’s death already! The way his wife ended her life is still unfathomable for him. It’s an understatement to say that he’s sad and disappointed. Above everything, he felt that he had failed in all attempts to make her live a longer life. Everything that he had done was in vain.
But no, he wasn’t even given time to mourn over the woman who gave him his two lovely children. Everybody expected him to get back on his feet again, back on his career and his new life as a father of two. He never loved Soon Mi like he loved Jaejoong, but was it wrong if he loved her in another way? Would he even slept with her and married her if he didn’t love her a bit? To save her life? Might be in the first few months. But he had seen how hard she struggled with her medication that he believed she might not had tomorrow of not because of his presence in her life.
His head was heavy when he woke up this morning. But after seeing his angel Min Young and getting ready to pick up his son he felt a thousand times better. Until he found his boss opening Jaejoong’s front door for him. And he didn’t look like he just arrived. His mood dropped a few degrees.
Was it jealousy? He’s not sure, they haven’t event had anything more than a couple of light conversations regarding the current entertainment industry where both of them were involved. Or sometimes about his children. Yes, he heard that Jaejoong was going out with Yoochun and he was happy that the man could finally find his happiness. But still, to see another man in Jaejoong’s house where his son was also staying kind of pissed him. It’s like giving him an opportunity to play family with Moonbin. And for him, no one but Jaejoong is allowed to get close to any of his family member. God, he felt like a jerk for thinking that way!! But no one told him that he couldn’t!
He knew his words earlier hurt Jaejoong, he didn’t mean to but it’s painful to see the truth that the other man knew and understood his own son better than himself! He should apologize cause he couldn’t stand to see Jaejoong resent him more.
Moonbin was pulling his wheeled little luggage while Jaejoong was walking behind him.
“Appa, let’s go home! Binnie wants to play with Min Young!” he told him excitedly.
“Sure Baby, you can see her all you want now but she’s not big enough to play with you. So Binnie take care of her so she can grow up to play with you, okay?” he told him eagerly as he tried to hide the tears that threatened to fall.
They all walked to the front door and Yunho turned around to see Jaejoong once again.
“Jae, thanks for everything… I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I didn’t mean it, really-“
“Yeah, I know you didn’t. Just… think it over… what I told you, please?” He shot him a hopeful look.
Yunho smiled, “I will, I will… well I,” he couldn’t hold it anymore and took a step forward to hug him, “thank you, really…”
Jaejoong returned his hug and patted his back, “No need for thanks Yunho… just promise me that you’ll be good?” He pulled away.
“Of course… I promise.”
Moonbin just finished wearing his Velcro strap shoes and shouted at Jaejoong, “Hug Binnie too, Jejussi! Binnie wants a hug!”
Jaejoong reached out and lifted him in his arms.
“Binnie, promise Jejussi that you will take care of Appa and Min Young. I’ll miss you.” He embraced the boy tightly.
“I promise! Binnie will come again to sleep in Binnie’s room here.” He said that made the 2 grown men laughed. “Binnie will miss Jejussi. Jejussi come to Binnie’s house too!”
“Okay, I’ll come when I can make it… until then, you can always ask JiHye-noona to call me when you miss me, got it?” He kissed the boy’s cheeks. He was about to put him down when suddenly Moonbin grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips. “Binnie loves Jejussi.”
Jaejoong was speechless… he tried hard not to get emotional and he could only replied to him softly, “I love you too.”
Yunho couldn’t take his gaze away from everything that had happened in front of him. He felt like he wanted to break down right then and there; but he knew better not to let his emotion got the better of him.
One thing he had to admit, that was the most beautiful love confession that he had ever witnessed in his life.
* * * * *
Both Jungs just left half an hour ago. And he only have another hour before he should leave to pick up his boys from the dorm below to get to the studio. He decided to clean up a little, otherwise he would feel too tired to do it later. And he hated a dirty home.
As he entered Moonbin’s room, there’s a rush of longing filling his senses. He folded Moonbin’s clothes on the bed and started to clean up his playing area when he noticed his drawing pad. He opened it and smiled at the colorful monsters that he drew. But the drawing on the 5th page stunned him.
In that page, there’s a drawing that’s similar to a little boy and a grown up watching TV. He instantly recognize the grown up as himself, as the boy drew a star on the shirt - his shirt that he let the boy wore on his first napping time in the house. But what made him cried was that the boy in the picture was leaning his head on his arm. And there’s a drawing of a love symbol below them.
The tears that he’d been trying to hold just poured down freely as he clutched the drawing book close to his heart. He didn’t realize that he had come to love the boy like his own. When people thought that it’s him that the boy depended on, it was actually him who depended on Moonbin. His presence had awoken something in him that he lost when he left the Jung mansion.
After the painful separation, the long waiting and a new love… He had found a new reason in Moonbin. That for everything that he had gone through, it was for him to be there for the little child. He’s not sure of what his role is in the boy’s future, but for now Moonbin should learn to live a complete family with the Jungs. But he will make sure that he will have a brighter future than himself.
He knew he just decided on something big… wasn’t he always? He just hope that this time he really made the right one.
* * * * *
Chapter 15