Everything Happens For a Reason, Chapter 18
~ Previous Chapters ~
Chapter 18: Missing Him & Matchmaking
Christmas is just around the corner. The weather outside is chilling, but Jaejoong felt warm inside the tiny abode of his home. He never knew that a child could turn his life upside down - literally. With the heavy snow raining down almost every night, he was forced to stay inside most of the time. It’s fine for him, he’s on a long break after all and he should enjoy every minute before getting back on the job after New Year, just like he promised Yoochun.
But apparently being home all the time was like a chained prison for Moonbin. The 3 year old was getting whiny for not being able to play in the park, or swimming in the club (hard to explain that he could turn into an ice cube later on). In the morning when the sun was out it was still ok for him to be out as long as he wore his winter boots, jacket and wool mitten. But after 2 days under snow storm, when even the outdoor variety programs being canceled on TV; the kid had become restless.
Toys, drawing papers and coloring pencils were strewn all over the living room. His bedroom was no better; as the boy created his own ‘shelter’ with the help of Changmin. It was actually a hammock being hung then connected with some blankets with pillows and whatnot underneath. Then he refused to sleep on his bed but there - under his own ‘tent’ he called it. Jaejoong had given up effort to get the boy to tidy up. He’d clean up for an hour… then saw the same view another hour later… but who could blame Moonbin? Even an adult like him got bored so quick after endless reading and watching and sleeping.
Jaejoong and Moonbin were napping in the adult’s bed, they’ve been having a little picnic in the living room while watching some children movie. The adult was woken up by the phone ringing outside so he carefully got up from the bed and running on tiptoes to the living room, afraid that Moonbin would wake up.
“Hello!” He’s panting slightly.
“… Jae? What’ wrong?” Yunho’s voice heard through the line.
“Nah, I was napping with Binnie… running to get the phone so he wouldn’t wake up.”
“Oh… so how’s he today? The weather’s been crazy for the past couple of days, did he stay inside all the time?”
“Yeah, he was bored to death! That’s why I let him playing picnic in the living room today. So are you coming over?” He asked him sincerely.
“As soon as the snow storm’s over I’ll be there. I’ll let you know… but I still can’t bring Min Young in this chilly weather, ehm… you think, he’ll hate me for that?” Yunho asked him nervously.
Jaejoong chuckled, “I’ll explain to him before you come, he’ll be okay… but make sure that you also come with an explanation for him. And how’s Min Young? Is she able to take her milk at home?”
Jaejoong could hear the other person sighing, “Yes, no more problem with milk now though we still have to cut back the volume a little. She hangs tough, my baby is… “ he sounded proud and sad, and for whatever reason it broke Jaejoong’s heart.
For a few moments both of the didn’t make a sound, just listening to each other’s breath over the phone… until Moonbin’s voice broke the silence from Jaejoong’s bedroom room.
“Jejussi, are you talking to Appa?” he looked at him with hopeful eyes.
“Hey baby boy, you woke up already. Come here, talk to your Appa, “ He offered the phone to Moonbin who trotted closer happily.
The boy took the phone from him and asked his father, “Appa, Min Young ok at home?”
Jaejoong smiled at himself and turned to leave the boy talking to his father. He was thinking of baking a cake or made some snacks with Moonbin, so he went to check the ingredients.
Yunho had been keeping his promises for the past 1.5 months. He went to see dr. Kim Junsu and discussed his son’s condition with him. He didn’t see him until 2 weeks ago, and during those 1 month he regularly called his son and talk to him, telling him about Min Young, promising him of a day out together - the 3 of them when Min Young is healthier… Jajeoong could see that the man was trying hard. It must be tough for him especially after he heard from Changmin and JiHye that the Min Young’s doctor once again told him not to expect much for the little girl. Her organ could stop functioning anytime and the reason that the doctor let them took her home was because there wasn’t much that they could do. Again, unless she lives until another 4 years when the doctor could start giving her medication.
At first Moonbin was so reluctant, he rejected Yunho’s two phone calls before he started talking to him. But he never said no to his grandparents, especially since his Gappa came to see him once a week with Changmin-ahjussi, bringing cakes and cookies. But lately their conversation was getting longer and longer, with Binnie rambling about what he ate, where he went with Jejussi and how he made a bump on his forehead by running into his own bedroom door in a hurry to hide from Jejussi…
Though the phone wasn’t a problem, it was still awkward for father and son to meet in person. Even after two meetings Moonbin was still clinging to Jaejoong’s side rather than his father when he’s visiting. He wouldn’t let him go where he couldn’t see him. As if he was afraid that his father would change his act towards him once again. There’s only one thing that Yunho couldn’t comply to his son’s wish, to play with Min Young.
The reason that Yunho could come visit was because finally Min Young was released from the hospital. So Yunho’s Mom could watch over her at home with JiHye (hooray to a long winter break from JiHye’s college!) with the help of a certified nurse. Yunho had learned to not worry to death about his daughter and paid more attention to his son. So far he was successful in Jaejoong’s eyes, but that didn’t mean that he’d be the same once Moonbin returns to the Jung mansion. Well, one step at a time…
Jaejoong heard little steps behind him and turned to find Moonbin. “Done talking to Appa?” he asked him.
The little boy nodded, “Appa said it’s cold, Min Young cannot be cold. Appa cannot come with Min Young then.” He looked at little dejected. So Jaejoong approached him.
“Binnie, if Appa takes Min Young out to see you now, she might get sick again and get into hospital. If she’s in the hospital, you can’t come and see her longer. If you let her rest now, when it’s not cold then you can meet her and play. Don’t you want that?” he tried to comfort the sad soul in front of him.
“Oww..kayy…”
“That’s my boy,” he kissed the boy’s forehead, “now wash your hands and help me to bake some cookies for Gappa and Gamma.” He pats the boy’s bottom, pushing him towards the sink.
“Yay!! Can we make some for Appa too? And Changmin-hyung? And JiHye-noona? And oh- oh, we should make one with lots of sugar for Min Young!” The boy was excited and that brought laughter. “And Kibum-ahjussi! He sleeps late, he needs some cookies to help him awake!”
“Alright, alright! We’ll make tons of it now! Promise no tasting until we finish? Otherwise you’d be too full for dinner!”
“Umm…”
“Binnieeee….”
“Promise! Now let me mix the flour, let me!!”
Jaejoong was so happy that he almost cried too. If this was how it feels to have a family, how would his life be when Moonbin returns to the Jungs?
He shook his head in dismissal. ‘Jaejoong, stop thinking about something that hasn’t happened yet… or not belongs to you..’ he told himself like he’s done a hundred times before since Moonbin came to live with him.
“Jejussiiiiiiiiii, my hands are clean now! Where’s the stuff? Jejussiiiiiii!”
Oh gosh, he’s got a baking crave boy now, he smiled to himself. Better start now or we’ll never finish by dinner time…
* * * * *
Christmas was spent with dinner at the mansion. And it was the first time that his son returned home in 2 months. Yunho couldn’t be happier to see his son smiling and laughing while distributing cookies in little colorful plastic jars - credit to Kim Jaejoong who was smiling just as wide next to his son that he almost looked like the Father instead of him.
Oh no, he’s not jealous of that Man. In fact, he’s deeply grateful, if not for him he might not see his son here right now with his whole family. His mother even cried and held the boy tightly… kissing him endlessly as if he’s been gone for too long. And this is more special cause it would also be Min Young’s first Christmas. How he wish that there would be many more Christmas for her… her future may not be certain, but he promised himself that he would make sure that she gets the best as long as he lives. Just like her older brother. It becomes a new vow in Yunho’s life, to love his children equally. It’s enough for him to lose his wife; he doesn’t want to lose a child, never.
But another thing that he’s afraid to lose once again was actually Kim Jaejoong. It’s killing him to see his boss - or their boss being intimate with the other guy. He tried to tell himself they’re nothing more than family right now, as in ‘real family’ and there shouldn’t be any romance involved - not like the other guy would want some with him, which is more painful. But how can he not expecting more after seeing his son so attached with him, and whenever they’re together it feels like they’re building their own little family together.
It’s hard to see them together but it’s ever harder to turn away everytime Yoochun put his arms around the smaller man or give him a kiss on the cheek… but the worst of all was coming to Jaejoong’s place and found out that Yoochun just spent the night. It made him nauseous. But who was he to complain? For Kim Jaejoong, he’s nobody. He was just an ex lover and part of the Jung family, father to Moonbin and husband (was) to Soon Mi… a colleague from the same company who used to work together for him. He only has himself to blame.
He felt a tug on his pants and as he looked down, his son timidly offered him two little jars, one in blue and another in pink.
“For me?” he asked him.
His son nodded, “Blue for Appa, Pink for Min Young.”
He crouched down and hugged him, “Thank you baby, thank you!” He didn’t feel his son hugging him back. So he pulled off a little, still holding the little shoulders gently.
“Binnie, are you still afraid of me?” The boy didn’t answer but tried to find Jaejoong’s gaze who was standing behind him. Jaejoong smiled at him and it seemed to put the boy at ease. So Yunho didn’t stop.
“Look, Appa is sorry that Appa has made Binnie feel sad. And Appa misses Binnie soooo much that Appa cannot sleep because Binnie is not here.”
The boy cocked his head to the left, “Appa sad? Binnie makes Appa sad?”
“Yes baby, because Appa is sorry to make you cry. And Appa wants to have Binnie here again with Gamma and Gappa and with Min Young. Appa cries every night for missing Binnie.”
The boy didn’t say a word for a minute. But then he slowly looked up at his father and told him what he’d been longing to hear, “Binnie misses Appa and Min Young too.”
The tears that Yunho had been trying to hold back fell freely like waterfalls as he embraced his son in his arms…
Binnie returned the hug and said, “Appa don’t cry! Binnie doesn’t like Appa crying, don’t cry…” he was overwhelmed by the shower of emotion from his Father, the one that always scared him before and made him cry… so he was a little afraid that he made another mistake this time.
They didn’t realize that everyone had been watching them since Moonbin approached his father to hand the cookies. Jaejoong walked closer and stood next to Moonbin, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
“Don’t be scared Baby boy, your Appa is not crying because he’s sad, he’s crying now because he’s happy to meet you.”
Moonbin still looked confuse but he’s not afraid anymore, he hugged his father with more ease now.
And suddenly Changmin showed up in a silly Santa costume, shouting, “Hohoho, this is no time for tears! This is Christmas! Come one everyone, your gifts are waiting later… but for now, let’s Celebrate the White Christmas with a feast! Everyone, dining room now!”
Everyone broke into laughter including and headed to the dining room. Yunho got up as well and Changmin handed him a tissue, “Geez Hyung, look at that snot! I thought only your Son could produce such- Yikes!! Stop wiping your hands into my Santa suit! That’s gross!”
Yunho laughed out loud seeing the disgusted face on his brother in law’s face, and Jaejoong couldn’t help to do the same.
As Changmin left to run after everyone who’s already in the dining room, Yunho and Jaejoong was left alone in the living room, standing awkwardly facing each other. Yunho took a step forward, bringing him closer to Jaejoong. They didn’t say a word but their gazes never left each other.
He braced himself as he reached out and held the man in an embrace, “Jae, thank you… I mean it…”
Jaejoong sighed and put his arms around Yunho as if they’re trying to comfort each other. Yunho for being afraid to start over with his Son. Jaejoong for being afraid of losing the boy from his life. They knew what the embrace meant to each other.
Yunho could feel the warmth of the other’s body from top to toe… as if the cold of the winter outside means nothing to him, he’s much warmer than the heater. As he pulled off and thanked him once again, Yunho leaned down and left a kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead that made the smaller man stood still like a statue.
The he softly told him, “Come, they must be waiting for us in the dining room.” He turned and walked away.
Jaejoong stood in his place, still overwhelmed with what he just experienced. As if someone breathed life in him again. Is he still in love with Yunho? That’s something that he must find the answer soon.
* * * * *
His life had been extremely busy since he returned to his activities one week after New Year. Which was a good thing for him because is distracted him from the feeling of missing Moonbin like nuts! He’s going to each of his boys’ program, watching them from beginning to end though now Yoochun had promoted one of the junior managers to assist his boys. But the loneliness was unbearable. He was so used to the routine of waking up in the morning to wake up the boy and cooked him breakfast. Of playing water in the shower with the excuse of ‘Binnie’s not clean enough’, of camping out in the living room in front of the TV with the boy lying on his lap until they both fell asleep… Unless he tired himself out, he wouldn’t be able to go to bed without stopping in front of Moonbin’s bedroom.
After Christmas the boy returned to his home for a few days more until New Year when Yunho and Changmin picked him up with his stuff along with Jaejoong for another feast at the Jung mansion. But at that time, Moonbin didn’t return to him in the morning. He could still remember the teary eyed boy refusing to let go of his hold on him, begging for him to live in the same house. He shouldn’t have let himself got too attached.
Another thing that bugged his mind was Yunho’s kiss at his forehead. He knew it was supposed to mean nothing, that Yunho was just being thankful for him for taking care of his son and made him come to his senses. That’s all, still he couldn’t shake off the shiver down his spine everytime he remembered the warmth of Yunho’s body all over him. What’s worse, it affected his sex life with Yoochun. He wasn’t sure if his lover noticed it, but it’s taking longer and longer for him to reach his peak when they were making love. He couldn’t shake off the tug in his heart that told him that that’s not the way he’s supposed to be. That Yoochun’s not the right one. It frightened him to no end. More than the fear of losing Binnie, he feared how his heart was swaying towards the boy’s father even more. He’s not supposed to feel ANYTHING for him anymore. If confused him.
Changmin called him some time ago, said that he had arranged a Valentine’s Dinner for all of them, boys’ night out according to him. Told him that he wanted to introduce his brother in law to a nice guy, and he needed Jaejoong and Yoochun to be present too.
When he refused to come Changmin told him sharply, ‘Hyung, don’t tell me that you don’t want Yunho-hyung to be happy again? I knew he’s not interested in women but at least give him a chance to be with someone else like you have Yoochun-hyung. Please… and I’m paying…’
He couldn’t say no. But there’s no way that Changmin would make an all male dinner right on Valentine’s Day, that would attract unnecessary attention to their tables. The younger man surrendered and arranged it for 16 February instead, 7pm at the French Restaurant at Four Seasons. Why French?
Again, the smartass replied to him, ‘Hyung, if we want him to seriously date anyone, don’t you think that we should built the right atmosphere? Romance… Paris… what’s more suitable than French food? And hey, it’s pricey so you better your boyfriend not to pick anything extraordinary from the menu! I’ll only let Yunho-hyung and his date do that! Well, unless you wanna chip in with the bill later?’ he sounded hopeful. He just snorted at him.
So here he was… as reluctant as he could be… sitting across a pouty Yunho and a chipper Changmin on a round table inside a private room at EMILIE. Changmin had been the one to do the talking since they have arrived while Yunho had been stealing glances at himself and he’s been trying his best to avoid his gaze.
“Ah, finally… the boss is here! Yoochun-hyung, you should sit next to Jae-hyung, that seat is supposed to be Yunho-hyung’s date’s seat.” He beamed at the older man who just shrugged his shoulder and sit where he was pointed at. But not before he placed a kiss on Jaejoong’s lips.
“Hey babe, finish early with the boys?"
He unconsciously took a little distance when he saw a scowl on Yunho’s face. “Mm, Seung-hun took over from the studio and will report to me later.
“I see, so Yunho,” he directed his view to his other employee, “I have arranged your shooting schedule to start 2 weeks from now if that’s fine with you?
Yunho didn’t respond quite well and just replied him shortly, “Yeah, no problem.” And back to his silence.
Yoochun just raised his eyebrows to Changmin who complained, “Hyung, you better act nice to my friend! He’s a very nice guy, at least be decent to him and give a chance! And stop giving me the dark vibe, it’s useless, you’re here already and you’re going to behave throughout dinner! You got me?”
Yunho just looked at him looking even more displeased.
“Hyung, you don’t want me to report to Umma and Appa and make them find you a new wife, do you?” a threat sounded effective in this kind of time.
Yunho sat straight on his seat, “Why, you-“
“Hi hi, sorry I’m very late Changmin!” a familiar face and voice entered the vision of the four tensed men. They all looked up at him in surprise.
“Uh-oh, am I late? Or do I come in a very bad timing?” He looked at Changmin with a question in his eyes.
Luckily Changmin is witty enough to save the awkward silence, he stood up to give the man a hug, “Junsu-hyung! Thanks for coming! No no no, you came at a perfect time, he smiled then turned his head at Yunho with a very much different expression.
“Come, sit here! Junsu-hyung, I think you’ve known Jaejoong-hyung here… and that is Yoochun-hyun, Jaejoong-hyung’s boyfriend and boss.”
Both of them shook hands with the doctor. And when Junsu offered his hand to Yunho, he didn’t take it. Changmin stepped on his foot, hard, “Yunho-hyung, I’m sure you’ve also met doctor Kim Junsu a couple of months ago.” He gave Yunho a deadly glare so Yunho took his hand for a shake.
“Well, now that everyone had gotten acquainted, let’s see what shall we order?” Changmin smiled his most intimidating smile at his brother in law, as if daring him to act worse in the next few minutes and risking him a matchmaking from his parents. Yunho obediently took the menu from Changmin’s hand.
Jaejoong fought hard to stifle his laughter. He rarely seeing Yunho being under someone else’s command, but looks like Changmin had his finger around him already. ‘Serves you right, young master Jung.’ He silently thought. He didn’t realize the odd look that Yoochun was giving him.
As food was ordered, wine was served… they chatted lightly, trying to get to know each other better, especially about dr. Kim Junsu since this would be the first time that they meet outside Moonbin’s concern.
Jaejoong curiously asked him, “So you’re Changmin’s senior by how many years?”
“Just 2 years but this fellow over here doesn’t seem to remember that. I knew that he only called me ‘Hyung’ when he wanted something from me,” his eyes were twinkling in mischief.
“Hey, I did not!” the youngest men on the table retorted.
“Oh yes, you did. And I began to wonder as to why were you willingly take call me to an expensive French restaurant - at your expense… it must be something big.” He jokingly asked him.
“Ehm, ehm..” Changmin nudged Yunho with his elbow. “Just… want you to get to know Yunho-hyung here, since you only met as doctor and patient’s parent back then.”
Yunho answered him lazily, “Yeah, Changmin had been bugging me to thank you for being so kind in handling my son. So, thank you so much, doctor.”
Junsu looked surprised with Yunho’s stiff conversation, “Ah, no problem, it was my job. And your son is adorable. Is he back home now?” He asked Jaejoong whose face fell into a frown. He just nodded his answer and Junsu seemed to understand the he had asked the wrong question. He had always been a little dim witted in reading situations but Changmin had updated him bit by bit through the phone. He felt a little sorry for him.
But he didn’t feel like he’s wanted over there. Yes, the younger male had told him openly that he wanted to matchmake him with his widower brother in-law. He was confused at first as seeing that he guy already had 2 children, which meant that he was married to a woman and not gay. But after a long and thoroughly explanation from him, he agreed on one condition. He had to be present on the first meeting. He just didn’t thought that the whole male in the family (plus Jaejoong-ssi’s boyfriend, Yoochun-ssi and minus Jung senior of course) would be present.
He knew that Yunho didn’t seem to be interested at him at all, but he’d like to give it a chance. He loved children, he wouldn’t mind but it’s hard to get close if the other party didn’t even say something unless asked to. He sighed and started to regret the whole matchmaking idea.
“So, Junsu-ssi… what made you decide to move to the big City of Seoul and get in touch with the Shim brat over there again?”
He looked up to a pair of warm and gentle eyes of Park Yoochun. Well, at least someone is truly interested in talking to him.
“Well, you see…” Thus the start of a wonderful evening with that would change the life of the four men in the table… And broke the youngest bank account as at least three people out of five ordered the most expensive meals on the menu.
* * * * *
Chapter 19
Chapter 18: Missing Him & Matchmaking
Christmas is just around the corner. The weather outside is chilling, but Jaejoong felt warm inside the tiny abode of his home. He never knew that a child could turn his life upside down - literally. With the heavy snow raining down almost every night, he was forced to stay inside most of the time. It’s fine for him, he’s on a long break after all and he should enjoy every minute before getting back on the job after New Year, just like he promised Yoochun.
But apparently being home all the time was like a chained prison for Moonbin. The 3 year old was getting whiny for not being able to play in the park, or swimming in the club (hard to explain that he could turn into an ice cube later on). In the morning when the sun was out it was still ok for him to be out as long as he wore his winter boots, jacket and wool mitten. But after 2 days under snow storm, when even the outdoor variety programs being canceled on TV; the kid had become restless.
Toys, drawing papers and coloring pencils were strewn all over the living room. His bedroom was no better; as the boy created his own ‘shelter’ with the help of Changmin. It was actually a hammock being hung then connected with some blankets with pillows and whatnot underneath. Then he refused to sleep on his bed but there - under his own ‘tent’ he called it. Jaejoong had given up effort to get the boy to tidy up. He’d clean up for an hour… then saw the same view another hour later… but who could blame Moonbin? Even an adult like him got bored so quick after endless reading and watching and sleeping.
Jaejoong and Moonbin were napping in the adult’s bed, they’ve been having a little picnic in the living room while watching some children movie. The adult was woken up by the phone ringing outside so he carefully got up from the bed and running on tiptoes to the living room, afraid that Moonbin would wake up.
“Hello!” He’s panting slightly.
“… Jae? What’ wrong?” Yunho’s voice heard through the line.
“Nah, I was napping with Binnie… running to get the phone so he wouldn’t wake up.”
“Oh… so how’s he today? The weather’s been crazy for the past couple of days, did he stay inside all the time?”
“Yeah, he was bored to death! That’s why I let him playing picnic in the living room today. So are you coming over?” He asked him sincerely.
“As soon as the snow storm’s over I’ll be there. I’ll let you know… but I still can’t bring Min Young in this chilly weather, ehm… you think, he’ll hate me for that?” Yunho asked him nervously.
Jaejoong chuckled, “I’ll explain to him before you come, he’ll be okay… but make sure that you also come with an explanation for him. And how’s Min Young? Is she able to take her milk at home?”
Jaejoong could hear the other person sighing, “Yes, no more problem with milk now though we still have to cut back the volume a little. She hangs tough, my baby is… “ he sounded proud and sad, and for whatever reason it broke Jaejoong’s heart.
For a few moments both of the didn’t make a sound, just listening to each other’s breath over the phone… until Moonbin’s voice broke the silence from Jaejoong’s bedroom room.
“Jejussi, are you talking to Appa?” he looked at him with hopeful eyes.
“Hey baby boy, you woke up already. Come here, talk to your Appa, “ He offered the phone to Moonbin who trotted closer happily.
The boy took the phone from him and asked his father, “Appa, Min Young ok at home?”
Jaejoong smiled at himself and turned to leave the boy talking to his father. He was thinking of baking a cake or made some snacks with Moonbin, so he went to check the ingredients.
Yunho had been keeping his promises for the past 1.5 months. He went to see dr. Kim Junsu and discussed his son’s condition with him. He didn’t see him until 2 weeks ago, and during those 1 month he regularly called his son and talk to him, telling him about Min Young, promising him of a day out together - the 3 of them when Min Young is healthier… Jajeoong could see that the man was trying hard. It must be tough for him especially after he heard from Changmin and JiHye that the Min Young’s doctor once again told him not to expect much for the little girl. Her organ could stop functioning anytime and the reason that the doctor let them took her home was because there wasn’t much that they could do. Again, unless she lives until another 4 years when the doctor could start giving her medication.
At first Moonbin was so reluctant, he rejected Yunho’s two phone calls before he started talking to him. But he never said no to his grandparents, especially since his Gappa came to see him once a week with Changmin-ahjussi, bringing cakes and cookies. But lately their conversation was getting longer and longer, with Binnie rambling about what he ate, where he went with Jejussi and how he made a bump on his forehead by running into his own bedroom door in a hurry to hide from Jejussi…
Though the phone wasn’t a problem, it was still awkward for father and son to meet in person. Even after two meetings Moonbin was still clinging to Jaejoong’s side rather than his father when he’s visiting. He wouldn’t let him go where he couldn’t see him. As if he was afraid that his father would change his act towards him once again. There’s only one thing that Yunho couldn’t comply to his son’s wish, to play with Min Young.
The reason that Yunho could come visit was because finally Min Young was released from the hospital. So Yunho’s Mom could watch over her at home with JiHye (hooray to a long winter break from JiHye’s college!) with the help of a certified nurse. Yunho had learned to not worry to death about his daughter and paid more attention to his son. So far he was successful in Jaejoong’s eyes, but that didn’t mean that he’d be the same once Moonbin returns to the Jung mansion. Well, one step at a time…
Jaejoong heard little steps behind him and turned to find Moonbin. “Done talking to Appa?” he asked him.
The little boy nodded, “Appa said it’s cold, Min Young cannot be cold. Appa cannot come with Min Young then.” He looked at little dejected. So Jaejoong approached him.
“Binnie, if Appa takes Min Young out to see you now, she might get sick again and get into hospital. If she’s in the hospital, you can’t come and see her longer. If you let her rest now, when it’s not cold then you can meet her and play. Don’t you want that?” he tried to comfort the sad soul in front of him.
“Oww..kayy…”
“That’s my boy,” he kissed the boy’s forehead, “now wash your hands and help me to bake some cookies for Gappa and Gamma.” He pats the boy’s bottom, pushing him towards the sink.
“Yay!! Can we make some for Appa too? And Changmin-hyung? And JiHye-noona? And oh- oh, we should make one with lots of sugar for Min Young!” The boy was excited and that brought laughter. “And Kibum-ahjussi! He sleeps late, he needs some cookies to help him awake!”
“Alright, alright! We’ll make tons of it now! Promise no tasting until we finish? Otherwise you’d be too full for dinner!”
“Umm…”
“Binnieeee….”
“Promise! Now let me mix the flour, let me!!”
Jaejoong was so happy that he almost cried too. If this was how it feels to have a family, how would his life be when Moonbin returns to the Jungs?
He shook his head in dismissal. ‘Jaejoong, stop thinking about something that hasn’t happened yet… or not belongs to you..’ he told himself like he’s done a hundred times before since Moonbin came to live with him.
“Jejussiiiiiiiiii, my hands are clean now! Where’s the stuff? Jejussiiiiiii!”
Oh gosh, he’s got a baking crave boy now, he smiled to himself. Better start now or we’ll never finish by dinner time…
* * * * *
Christmas was spent with dinner at the mansion. And it was the first time that his son returned home in 2 months. Yunho couldn’t be happier to see his son smiling and laughing while distributing cookies in little colorful plastic jars - credit to Kim Jaejoong who was smiling just as wide next to his son that he almost looked like the Father instead of him.
Oh no, he’s not jealous of that Man. In fact, he’s deeply grateful, if not for him he might not see his son here right now with his whole family. His mother even cried and held the boy tightly… kissing him endlessly as if he’s been gone for too long. And this is more special cause it would also be Min Young’s first Christmas. How he wish that there would be many more Christmas for her… her future may not be certain, but he promised himself that he would make sure that she gets the best as long as he lives. Just like her older brother. It becomes a new vow in Yunho’s life, to love his children equally. It’s enough for him to lose his wife; he doesn’t want to lose a child, never.
But another thing that he’s afraid to lose once again was actually Kim Jaejoong. It’s killing him to see his boss - or their boss being intimate with the other guy. He tried to tell himself they’re nothing more than family right now, as in ‘real family’ and there shouldn’t be any romance involved - not like the other guy would want some with him, which is more painful. But how can he not expecting more after seeing his son so attached with him, and whenever they’re together it feels like they’re building their own little family together.
It’s hard to see them together but it’s ever harder to turn away everytime Yoochun put his arms around the smaller man or give him a kiss on the cheek… but the worst of all was coming to Jaejoong’s place and found out that Yoochun just spent the night. It made him nauseous. But who was he to complain? For Kim Jaejoong, he’s nobody. He was just an ex lover and part of the Jung family, father to Moonbin and husband (was) to Soon Mi… a colleague from the same company who used to work together for him. He only has himself to blame.
He felt a tug on his pants and as he looked down, his son timidly offered him two little jars, one in blue and another in pink.
“For me?” he asked him.
His son nodded, “Blue for Appa, Pink for Min Young.”
He crouched down and hugged him, “Thank you baby, thank you!” He didn’t feel his son hugging him back. So he pulled off a little, still holding the little shoulders gently.
“Binnie, are you still afraid of me?” The boy didn’t answer but tried to find Jaejoong’s gaze who was standing behind him. Jaejoong smiled at him and it seemed to put the boy at ease. So Yunho didn’t stop.
“Look, Appa is sorry that Appa has made Binnie feel sad. And Appa misses Binnie soooo much that Appa cannot sleep because Binnie is not here.”
The boy cocked his head to the left, “Appa sad? Binnie makes Appa sad?”
“Yes baby, because Appa is sorry to make you cry. And Appa wants to have Binnie here again with Gamma and Gappa and with Min Young. Appa cries every night for missing Binnie.”
The boy didn’t say a word for a minute. But then he slowly looked up at his father and told him what he’d been longing to hear, “Binnie misses Appa and Min Young too.”
The tears that Yunho had been trying to hold back fell freely like waterfalls as he embraced his son in his arms…
Binnie returned the hug and said, “Appa don’t cry! Binnie doesn’t like Appa crying, don’t cry…” he was overwhelmed by the shower of emotion from his Father, the one that always scared him before and made him cry… so he was a little afraid that he made another mistake this time.
They didn’t realize that everyone had been watching them since Moonbin approached his father to hand the cookies. Jaejoong walked closer and stood next to Moonbin, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
“Don’t be scared Baby boy, your Appa is not crying because he’s sad, he’s crying now because he’s happy to meet you.”
Moonbin still looked confuse but he’s not afraid anymore, he hugged his father with more ease now.
And suddenly Changmin showed up in a silly Santa costume, shouting, “Hohoho, this is no time for tears! This is Christmas! Come one everyone, your gifts are waiting later… but for now, let’s Celebrate the White Christmas with a feast! Everyone, dining room now!”
Everyone broke into laughter including and headed to the dining room. Yunho got up as well and Changmin handed him a tissue, “Geez Hyung, look at that snot! I thought only your Son could produce such- Yikes!! Stop wiping your hands into my Santa suit! That’s gross!”
Yunho laughed out loud seeing the disgusted face on his brother in law’s face, and Jaejoong couldn’t help to do the same.
As Changmin left to run after everyone who’s already in the dining room, Yunho and Jaejoong was left alone in the living room, standing awkwardly facing each other. Yunho took a step forward, bringing him closer to Jaejoong. They didn’t say a word but their gazes never left each other.
He braced himself as he reached out and held the man in an embrace, “Jae, thank you… I mean it…”
Jaejoong sighed and put his arms around Yunho as if they’re trying to comfort each other. Yunho for being afraid to start over with his Son. Jaejoong for being afraid of losing the boy from his life. They knew what the embrace meant to each other.
Yunho could feel the warmth of the other’s body from top to toe… as if the cold of the winter outside means nothing to him, he’s much warmer than the heater. As he pulled off and thanked him once again, Yunho leaned down and left a kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead that made the smaller man stood still like a statue.
The he softly told him, “Come, they must be waiting for us in the dining room.” He turned and walked away.
Jaejoong stood in his place, still overwhelmed with what he just experienced. As if someone breathed life in him again. Is he still in love with Yunho? That’s something that he must find the answer soon.
* * * * *
His life had been extremely busy since he returned to his activities one week after New Year. Which was a good thing for him because is distracted him from the feeling of missing Moonbin like nuts! He’s going to each of his boys’ program, watching them from beginning to end though now Yoochun had promoted one of the junior managers to assist his boys. But the loneliness was unbearable. He was so used to the routine of waking up in the morning to wake up the boy and cooked him breakfast. Of playing water in the shower with the excuse of ‘Binnie’s not clean enough’, of camping out in the living room in front of the TV with the boy lying on his lap until they both fell asleep… Unless he tired himself out, he wouldn’t be able to go to bed without stopping in front of Moonbin’s bedroom.
After Christmas the boy returned to his home for a few days more until New Year when Yunho and Changmin picked him up with his stuff along with Jaejoong for another feast at the Jung mansion. But at that time, Moonbin didn’t return to him in the morning. He could still remember the teary eyed boy refusing to let go of his hold on him, begging for him to live in the same house. He shouldn’t have let himself got too attached.
Another thing that bugged his mind was Yunho’s kiss at his forehead. He knew it was supposed to mean nothing, that Yunho was just being thankful for him for taking care of his son and made him come to his senses. That’s all, still he couldn’t shake off the shiver down his spine everytime he remembered the warmth of Yunho’s body all over him. What’s worse, it affected his sex life with Yoochun. He wasn’t sure if his lover noticed it, but it’s taking longer and longer for him to reach his peak when they were making love. He couldn’t shake off the tug in his heart that told him that that’s not the way he’s supposed to be. That Yoochun’s not the right one. It frightened him to no end. More than the fear of losing Binnie, he feared how his heart was swaying towards the boy’s father even more. He’s not supposed to feel ANYTHING for him anymore. If confused him.
Changmin called him some time ago, said that he had arranged a Valentine’s Dinner for all of them, boys’ night out according to him. Told him that he wanted to introduce his brother in law to a nice guy, and he needed Jaejoong and Yoochun to be present too.
When he refused to come Changmin told him sharply, ‘Hyung, don’t tell me that you don’t want Yunho-hyung to be happy again? I knew he’s not interested in women but at least give him a chance to be with someone else like you have Yoochun-hyung. Please… and I’m paying…’
He couldn’t say no. But there’s no way that Changmin would make an all male dinner right on Valentine’s Day, that would attract unnecessary attention to their tables. The younger man surrendered and arranged it for 16 February instead, 7pm at the French Restaurant at Four Seasons. Why French?
Again, the smartass replied to him, ‘Hyung, if we want him to seriously date anyone, don’t you think that we should built the right atmosphere? Romance… Paris… what’s more suitable than French food? And hey, it’s pricey so you better your boyfriend not to pick anything extraordinary from the menu! I’ll only let Yunho-hyung and his date do that! Well, unless you wanna chip in with the bill later?’ he sounded hopeful. He just snorted at him.
So here he was… as reluctant as he could be… sitting across a pouty Yunho and a chipper Changmin on a round table inside a private room at EMILIE. Changmin had been the one to do the talking since they have arrived while Yunho had been stealing glances at himself and he’s been trying his best to avoid his gaze.
“Ah, finally… the boss is here! Yoochun-hyung, you should sit next to Jae-hyung, that seat is supposed to be Yunho-hyung’s date’s seat.” He beamed at the older man who just shrugged his shoulder and sit where he was pointed at. But not before he placed a kiss on Jaejoong’s lips.
“Hey babe, finish early with the boys?"
He unconsciously took a little distance when he saw a scowl on Yunho’s face. “Mm, Seung-hun took over from the studio and will report to me later.
“I see, so Yunho,” he directed his view to his other employee, “I have arranged your shooting schedule to start 2 weeks from now if that’s fine with you?
Yunho didn’t respond quite well and just replied him shortly, “Yeah, no problem.” And back to his silence.
Yoochun just raised his eyebrows to Changmin who complained, “Hyung, you better act nice to my friend! He’s a very nice guy, at least be decent to him and give a chance! And stop giving me the dark vibe, it’s useless, you’re here already and you’re going to behave throughout dinner! You got me?”
Yunho just looked at him looking even more displeased.
“Hyung, you don’t want me to report to Umma and Appa and make them find you a new wife, do you?” a threat sounded effective in this kind of time.
Yunho sat straight on his seat, “Why, you-“
“Hi hi, sorry I’m very late Changmin!” a familiar face and voice entered the vision of the four tensed men. They all looked up at him in surprise.
“Uh-oh, am I late? Or do I come in a very bad timing?” He looked at Changmin with a question in his eyes.
Luckily Changmin is witty enough to save the awkward silence, he stood up to give the man a hug, “Junsu-hyung! Thanks for coming! No no no, you came at a perfect time, he smiled then turned his head at Yunho with a very much different expression.
“Come, sit here! Junsu-hyung, I think you’ve known Jaejoong-hyung here… and that is Yoochun-hyun, Jaejoong-hyung’s boyfriend and boss.”
Both of them shook hands with the doctor. And when Junsu offered his hand to Yunho, he didn’t take it. Changmin stepped on his foot, hard, “Yunho-hyung, I’m sure you’ve also met doctor Kim Junsu a couple of months ago.” He gave Yunho a deadly glare so Yunho took his hand for a shake.
“Well, now that everyone had gotten acquainted, let’s see what shall we order?” Changmin smiled his most intimidating smile at his brother in law, as if daring him to act worse in the next few minutes and risking him a matchmaking from his parents. Yunho obediently took the menu from Changmin’s hand.
Jaejoong fought hard to stifle his laughter. He rarely seeing Yunho being under someone else’s command, but looks like Changmin had his finger around him already. ‘Serves you right, young master Jung.’ He silently thought. He didn’t realize the odd look that Yoochun was giving him.
As food was ordered, wine was served… they chatted lightly, trying to get to know each other better, especially about dr. Kim Junsu since this would be the first time that they meet outside Moonbin’s concern.
Jaejoong curiously asked him, “So you’re Changmin’s senior by how many years?”
“Just 2 years but this fellow over here doesn’t seem to remember that. I knew that he only called me ‘Hyung’ when he wanted something from me,” his eyes were twinkling in mischief.
“Hey, I did not!” the youngest men on the table retorted.
“Oh yes, you did. And I began to wonder as to why were you willingly take call me to an expensive French restaurant - at your expense… it must be something big.” He jokingly asked him.
“Ehm, ehm..” Changmin nudged Yunho with his elbow. “Just… want you to get to know Yunho-hyung here, since you only met as doctor and patient’s parent back then.”
Yunho answered him lazily, “Yeah, Changmin had been bugging me to thank you for being so kind in handling my son. So, thank you so much, doctor.”
Junsu looked surprised with Yunho’s stiff conversation, “Ah, no problem, it was my job. And your son is adorable. Is he back home now?” He asked Jaejoong whose face fell into a frown. He just nodded his answer and Junsu seemed to understand the he had asked the wrong question. He had always been a little dim witted in reading situations but Changmin had updated him bit by bit through the phone. He felt a little sorry for him.
But he didn’t feel like he’s wanted over there. Yes, the younger male had told him openly that he wanted to matchmake him with his widower brother in-law. He was confused at first as seeing that he guy already had 2 children, which meant that he was married to a woman and not gay. But after a long and thoroughly explanation from him, he agreed on one condition. He had to be present on the first meeting. He just didn’t thought that the whole male in the family (plus Jaejoong-ssi’s boyfriend, Yoochun-ssi and minus Jung senior of course) would be present.
He knew that Yunho didn’t seem to be interested at him at all, but he’d like to give it a chance. He loved children, he wouldn’t mind but it’s hard to get close if the other party didn’t even say something unless asked to. He sighed and started to regret the whole matchmaking idea.
“So, Junsu-ssi… what made you decide to move to the big City of Seoul and get in touch with the Shim brat over there again?”
He looked up to a pair of warm and gentle eyes of Park Yoochun. Well, at least someone is truly interested in talking to him.
“Well, you see…” Thus the start of a wonderful evening with that would change the life of the four men in the table… And broke the youngest bank account as at least three people out of five ordered the most expensive meals on the menu.
* * * * *
Chapter 19