a friend of mine is getting married in march and i'm really upset cuz i can't get there to celebrate with her. i don't have any money and i cant ask to fly back for a wedding. its so strange to think about it. she's 5 months younger than me. she's getting married and having a baby. she's so happy. i'm so happy for her. i hope this is for ever.

the super bowl is sunday. i should be doing stuff in the city. but i hate all the traffic. there's lots of celebs here for the game and stuff. too bad i don't care enough to go find 'em. haha. well i guess i would if i had someone to do it with. 'eh. anyway. the game should be good at least ( Read more... )

i keep asking myself "what am i doing?". what am i doing here? am i doing anything productive? what is productive? what has meaning? and i cant answer. i've felt very lonely the past week. its hit me really hard that the people here, they don't know me. and while i like that separation, i dont like the isolation. i suppose it will be easier when i ( Read more... )

well i'm finally starting to get over this head cold thing. its been aweful. but such is life. school is going well. my classes haven't been too bad. i'm working on a business plan. not mine, unfortunately, but wendy's. so she can do her own thing. i should be charging her. but i get to stay here for free so i guess this is good. uh, still looking ( Read more... )

-will you please tell me what i've done wrong?-

i took bernie to the airport this morning. then i drove around for what seemed like hours. mostly thinking. it was awesome to have her here for even 3 days. we talked a lot and i got to know her better. still more to learn. but thats good too. she found out i snore (haha) which made sleeping hard for both of us (cuz she hit or kicked me when i ( Read more... )

i had a whole update planned. it didn't work out ( Read more... )

i'm really confused about where i should go to school. the cali schools seem really kool. but the mountains and stuff in P.A. are freakin amazing. hmm... i was thinking that since i will prolly never live in cali for real (of course unless God is like go to cali..but anyway) that going to school there would be a good way to experience it. thoughts ( Read more... )

so saturday. like the day after tomorrow. i'll be flying back to maryland. its going to be strange at first. but i'm sure i'll get back into the swing of things. the swing of something anyway. there's a lot of people i want to see. i hope i get to spend a lot of time with everyone. *sigh*  i'm gonna need a vacation to recover from all of this. o ( Read more... )

being torn isn't ever fun. torn between two people, two places, two decisions... i feel like...well i don't know how i feel exactly. its so hard trying to figure out where to go next year. i feel like i've been at this point before. well i have i supoose. i keep struggling with the choices. i mean...is it me or God making the decisions? is it ( Read more... )