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[trinsy_fics]

Dear Men,

Like many women, I work a job in which customer service is integral. Specifically, I’m a barista at a coffee shop, but the details aren’t important for the purposes of this letter. I could work in a restaurant or in a grocery store or on an airplane, and everything I’m about to say would still be relevant, so take note:

Don’t tell me I

Comments

[figs_133]

Women have also been known to say "sweetheart" or "darling" and compliment other women at their place of employment. I work at a pharmacy and get it all the time. It's not necessarily creepy, nor is it a come-on. Sometimes it's just a compliment. If someone in one of your classes or one of your friends told you that you had a great smile, would you roll your eyes?

[trinsy_fics]

No, but the point is I know my friends and coworkers. I don't know the random men coming into my store. You can tell people's intent when you're interacting with them. It is patronizing when these men do it. It's about privilege. They think they have the right to be casually intimate with me. They think that because I'm a women, I want them to be. I don't

[figs_133]

I get what you're saying, but I just think that "sweetheart" and "darling" are akin to "dude" and "bro" - guys don't necessarily consider others their brothers or incredibly close to them, it's just a 21st Century term of association.

[trinsy_fics]

Also, I have been complimented by guys at school I knew by sight but had never really interacted with before. Again, I could tell the intent. It was creepy and off-putting and I didn't like it. But I had to pretend that I did because that's the only socially acceptable response. I'm not okay with that, and I shouldn't have to be.

[builtofsorrow]

Have I ever mentioned that you are my heroine?

Also, I wish I could print this up on pamphlets and hand it out to people (+5 extra ones for the people who hand out those creepy Jesus pamphlets).