Severus Snape's Quarters

[trio_snape]

*comes through floo to find house elves have already prepared the evening meal*

Good. Last year, Lupin's birthday was a disaster. Black had left him the day before - I understand now because of me.

We will make a better memory tonight.

*lights candles on table and waits calmly for Lupin to arrive*

Comments

[trio_remus]

*experiences a sensation like tumbling, falling into Snape's thoughts like a tangled web, sifting through, the magic coming back to him like an old habit, distant yet familiar; begins to unravel strands of magic, feeling his way toward an emotion or memory when Snape projects, filling his mind with a sudden vision; hears words fuzzily, as though underwater*

*watches the first memory, seeing the sight of his own limp body through Snape's vision, feeling his niggling worry, the way he tried to contain it to no avail; sees Snape holding him tightly, hears him ordering Poppy to get more Wolfsbane in him; watches as Snape leaves the room, his forehead pressed against the window to watch over him*

He cared, even then...touched...watched...

*shivers as the memory fades suddenly to be replaced by the sound of Snape yelling at him, followed by a surge of Snape's regret; hears Snape's voice reassuring him of Sirius's safety, remembering that relief even as he feels the way Snape struggled to allow himself to grant the kindness*

He gave of

[trio_snape]

*consciously unwinds further, resisting training to allow Lupin to move about his mind freely*

Here. *horrific images of Lupin transforming without Wolfsbane, biting and tearing at his own body, flash by in a whirlwind*

You trusted me, long before I could put any faith in you. Then, I began to believe in you, despite myself. *the look on Remus' face as he opens a Howler, sick panic settling in*

What this is built over time.... *countless images of tending Lupin before the full moon, taking his temperature, drawing blood flip past*

[trio_remus]

*breathes raggedly at images of himself, the wolf; watches as Snape pounds on invisible barrier, begging the wolf to stop hurting itself, feeling Snape's panic and the way he feared the damage the wolf could inflict*

I frightened him, he worried for me, hated the wolf, despised this disease for what it could do to a man...what it had done to me-

*recoils back suddenly as the voice of the howler tears through their minds, wand shaking as his own head is filled with the memory of that day, grasping at Snape's mind and settling in again, feeling a strange surge of pride from him, Snape's memory focused on the feeling of holding him down by the thigh, proud of him for staying*

You saved me that day...

*heart pounds, swelling at images of Snape touching him, gently caressing, caring, healing, soothing before transformations, so many shared looks between them, moment after moment of Snape's hand on his forehead, comforting him in the last moments before the wolf came, one month after the next, growing in emotion each time*

He remembers

[trio_snape]

You are so stubborn. Constantly proving you are made of steel; that you can survive.

*Lupin, battered and bruised, coming out of a cellar that was to be his tomb, sitting on a tree stump, healing his leg - flashes to Lupin's hand coming down, soothing away pain, the surge of relief to see Lupin waiting for him after a visit with the Dark Lord*

I have seen pain. I would take yours.

*shoulders roll as Lupin tries to speak about being branded, examining the brand and scars, seeing the expanse of Lupin's skin, feeling flushed*

Flushed....

*Lupin swings his arse back and forth, muscles bunching in his back, arms in the air, amusement and something more rising*

[trio_remus]

*sucks in air, mind racing as he stumbles deeper into Snape's, sweat beginning to form on his temples as he sees images of his own back, leading Snape through woods, feeling the pain of Snape's broken leg, badly healed, but also small surges of surprised gratefulness for his help, despite the way Snape had carried on about not being injured in the first place if it hadn't been for him tagging along...*

Sorry for that...still sorry...

He remembers me healing a headache...when was that? I wanted to help him...told him about my mother that day...he felt...sad, for me...for himself...understood me...felt...

Relieved. Needed me, feared that he might die...so thankful for me, his arm, the horrific pain, he felt...

...mine. He felt my pain, wanted to soothe it, hurt when I pulled away, didn't understand until...he felt humbled. Humbled that I would tell him...of being branded...*experiences a rush of rage, startled by the strength of Snape's anger for what he had gone through at the hands of the Ministry, his shock at the barbaric practice of

[trio_snape]

*feels Lupin moving faster now, looking at the memories presented and more*

I almost lost you - too many times. *a flicker of solidarity in Sirius Black as he hands over Lupin's wand, staring at a teacup, waiting for Lupin to return from a mission, watching the wolf break through unbreakable barriers*

Found the animal inside me. *working with Black, transforming hands into paws, skin into fur, producing a tail for the first time*

I have literally changed, however, I must still be Severus Snape.