Fic: Meet Me in the Morning (Part IV)

[redpocket]

“It’s not that I don’t think about him,” Shishido said a few days later.

They were lying, flopped on the thick cushioning mats in the gym, technically supposed to be cleaning up, but neither of them too enthused about getting out the brooms, and no supervisor to kick them into action.

Oshitari wasn’t quite sure why Shishido had started talking about his brother, but he was, so he lay still and let Shishido continue.

“Sometimes I think... that he might still be alive,” Shishido said quietly, his voice floating upwards to the ceiling, twenty feet above. “But then I think... If he were, why hasn’t he ever come back to us?”

He licked his lips, turning to stare at Oshitari. “I feel as if I should know it and be able to accept it, but it’s this incredible feeling of... Of nothingness. In the beginning, it felt as though we all knew he was gone, but then as time went on, we just kept thinking he might come back one day because no one had said anything otherwise... No one could prove he wasn’t going to come back one day.”

“But,” he sighed, putting his hands under his head and staring back upwards again. “I don’t know... Maybe... His life would have been worse if he’d lived. I don’t understand why he fell in with those guys, and...” He trailed off, moving his hand to grasp Oshitari’s. “If I ever saw any of them again, I’d put holes in their heads,” he frowned. “I know it. If I ever had the opportunity... I don’t know if I’d be able to stop myself.”

Oshitari rolled onto his side. “You wouldn’t,” he murmured. “If you did that, they’d never be held accountable for anything. Death is the easy way out for people like that, and if they died, you’d never know what had happened in the first place.”

Shishido’s eyes flicked downwards. “I know, but still... I...”

Oshitari twined their fingers together.

“You’ll be a good cop,” he reassured Shishido. “Just because you think about these things, doesn’t mean you’ll do them when the time comes. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and if you did try to do something like that, I’d stop you.”

Shishido frowned, but didn’t say anything more.

“Everything takes time,” Oshitari said slowly. “Things that hurt you will heal as long as you deal with them directly. We have to keep moving forward, because our lives don’t stop the minute someone else’s does.”

And before he could think of anything to say to lighten the mood, a shadow loomed large over them, and they both sat up straight, catching a set of brooms in their hands before they hit their heads.

“Cleaning, gentlemen, does not mean lying down on the job,” their supervisor frowned. “After this, you’re both wanted in the offices. The head wants to see you.”

Oshitari swallowed, his heart giving a funny kind of off-beat.

+

“You’re a little later than I expected,” Atobe sighed, when they entered. “But never mind. Shishido, close the door, would you?”

Oshitari frowned, standing awkwardly by Shishido as he did so. Why Atobe would bother wasting his breath to tell them, he didn’t know. He hadn’t once left the door open in all the times he’d come here.

“I didn’t call you in here for anything serious,” Atobe said, an eyebrow raised at Oshitari’s stiff stance. “There’s no need to loiter as though you’re afraid of me.”

“We weren’t,” Shishido blurted out. “But... Why did you call us in here?”

Atobe smiled slightly. “Just for a personal reason, one could say.”

Oshitari watched as Shishido sat down tentatively in the chair, and he stepped across to stand next to him. “Something the matter?” he enquired carefully.

Atobe gave a slight roll of his eyes. “You.”

“Us?” Shishido blinked, and Oshitari frowned.

“No, he means me,” he corrected, hand on Shishido’s shoulder.

“No, actually,” Atobe sighed. “I did mean the two of you. I meant that I received a report this morning from an officer who saw two people in front of my office window the other day,” and he eyed them carefully, checking they knew what he was talking about.

“He said that he couldn’t be sure of what those two people were doing, nor was he sure of their identities, but he suspected they were...” he hesitated, choosing his words. “Involved in something which was against the rules of the academy here.”

Oshitari pursed his lips. “What did you say?”

“I didn’t tell him anything,” Atobe clarified, leaning back against his desk. “I merely told him I would look into it and to forget the matter. I asked him not to repeat it to anyone else, should it turn out to be that he simply made a mistake and those two people were doing something else entirely. But what I’m saying to you is that -”

“If there’s a punishment,” Oshitari began, faltering. “If there is... then I’ll take it. It was my fault to begin with. Shishido had nothing to do with -”

“Bullshit,” Shishido retorted, standing up again. “I could have stopped you earlier but I didn’t. And I probably wouldn’t have, if Atobe hadn’t stuck his head out the window. Don’t just go deciding things by yourself,” he glared.

“Look,” Atobe cut in. “There is to be no punishment... for the moment. But Oshitari... and Shishido,” he frowned. “If I’ve said it once, then I’ve said it a million times. You are here to train, to pass your courses, and to graduate. You are not here to fraternise, though you may do so where no one can see.”

“If no one saw it, then it never happened,” Oshitari snorted. “Is that it around here?”

Atobe ignored the comment. “I will say one good thing though.”

“Which is?” Shishido prompted, when Atobe paused, staring down at the floor.

He looked up at them both quickly. “Which is that I never thought I’d see you accept responsibility quite as quickly as you did just then, Oshitari. I didn’t think you were that sort of a guy.”

Oshitari found his face flushing as he realised just what Atobe was talking about. It was true - thinking that Shishido would have to take some level of punishment for something he hadn’t started...

“I didn’t think I was either,” he admitted, a little surprised.

“Now the other thing is...” Atobe sighed. “Your tactics exam is in two days. I just want to make sure you’re both ready for it.”

Oshitari smirked. “You want to give us some extra advice beforehand?” he teased.

“No, I will do nothing of the sort,” Atobe answered stiffly.

“I was just kidding,” Oshitari chuckled.

“We’re ready,” Shishido said decisively, getting a nod back from Atobe. “We won’t let you down.”

Atobe nodded once more, as though trying to convince himself. “Good, good...” he frowned. “Or I’d have to shoot you.”

“That is illegal, you know,” Shishido winced.

“And somehow, coming from you...” Oshitari pointed out awkwardly, “That isn’t really funny.”

“Oh, I wasn’t actually joking,” Atobe smiled. “Do your best, cadets. I trust in you.”

+

“Nervous?” Shishido asked, brushing his arm against Oshitari’s. It was as close as they could be under surveillance.

“A bit,” Oshitari admitted, shaking his hands and wrists. The two of them had spent the morning in the indoor range, a change from the outdoor one they’d gotten used to frequenting whenever Shishido felt he needed more practise outside classes. He was by no means a sharp shot like Oshitari, but his aim was no longer terrible; practise and memory helping him with his accuracy, even with moving targets. And under pressure, he was actually better.

They were dispersed to their starting positions quickly, fewer men required for each of these exercises, and the cadets waiting for their exams kept waiting outside where they couldn’t catch any hints of the possible scenarios they would be required to act out when their turns came.

“I bet there’s a hostage we don’t yet know about,” Oshitari muttered under his breath, and Shishido shot him a worried look.

“There won’t be,” he said, sounding certain. “I was sure they’d be testing us on something as simple as a chase and disarmament. This isn’t even our final exam... This is just...”

“But if we fail it, we’re still screwed,” Oshitari muttered.

“Stop being negative,” Kaidou scolded him, in front of him and almost hissing, he was so tense. Kamio though, almost looked calm.

Oshitari took in a deep breath. “Well if no one dies, then we can consider it a pass... hopefully.”

“Stop being so nervous,” Shishido frowned. “You’ll pass it on to me too,” he added, and Oshitari smiled to think he’d once said that to him.

He honestly wished he could have stopped the nervous butterflies he was feeling, but Atobe was nowhere in sight, and it only made him feel worse. He couldn’t help but feel as though something unexpected was going to hit them.

+

Luck was only ever a matter of the draw for Oshitari.

Their scenario could have been given to any one of the groups to be examined that day, yet it was dished out to the four of them, and as things turned out, they did end up with a hostage situation; Oshitari just didn’t know it until he chased Shishido around a corner, and suddenly there they were - the two of them, faced with an armed and dangerous man, his arm locked around a child’s head, her feet dangling off the ground and the barrel of his gun pressed to her temple.

They’d thought it would be a run of the mill chase. And they hadn’t been allowed to inspect the training facilities before their exercise had started. But then, it had never crossed their minds that anything would have changed. Certainly, they hadn’t expected a wall to suddenly appear where before, there had been an alley with two open ends. So they’d split and sent Kamio and Kaidou around to the other side, but theirs was a fruitless chase by then; there was no way they could do anything to help Oshitari and Shishido from the other side of the wall and they all knew it.

They heard Kamio’s frustrated yell echo around them, but neither Oshitari nor Shishido could turn their heads away from the sight in front of them, both of them frozen at the opening of the alley, staring straight ahead.

Through Oshitari’s head tumbled a million things he could remember Atobe saying, but none of them was right - none of them was what he needed right now. He couldn’t remember anything about what he should be doing in this situation, and even as their gunman began to speak, and Oshitari knew something would be coming at them in a matter of seconds, he knew he couldn’t just shoot. He couldn’t endanger the hostage’s life. But he couldn’t do nothing either.

And talking wasn’t going to do it.

“Police!” Shishido remembered to shout. “Slowly put your weapon on the ground and let the hostage go!”

Oshitari’s heart was in his throat, so much adrenalin pounding loudly through him that he almost couldn’t hear what came next - the sound of a gun firing, and Shishido darting towards the left.

He himself darted to the right, behind the protection of the corner of the wall, immediate relief flowing through him. And then in the next second, anger - he’d made a mistake. He was protecting himself but this now put him at a disadvantage, he realised. He should have shot back immediately. He could no longer see the gunman, but the gunman would see the instant he stepped out from his hiding spot.

Breathing heavily, he glanced across at Shishido, seeing him slumped.

He stared, frowned, and almost opened his mouth to ask why Shishido wasn’t moving, a feeling of nausea working its way upwards in his body as he watched; watched for any sign of movement. There was none.

And with every second that ticked by, he was losing time, and he was losing any advantage he could possibly have had to take the gunman by surprise. The man would be all ears now; completely ready for anyone to come around the corner at him, and whether or not he had his gun pointed at the police or at his hostage, someone was going to be injured.

Oshitari took a deep breath, slowly breathing in and then out, shifting as close to the edge of the brick wall as he could.

He slowly counted to three in his head and stepped out.

In a matter of seconds, two gunshots were fired, one right after the other. And with that, it was all over.

Oshitari let out a shuddering breath, before a voice came over the loudspeaker.

“Okay. Scenario one, group two, clear.”

“Shit,” Oshitari gasped out, blinking quickly, stumbling over to Shishido. It was over. It was all over, he repeated to himself. The last few seconds there had seemed like an eternity to him.

“Hey!” he shook Shishido’s shoulder quickly, watching Shishido open his eyes. He frowned, closing his eyes again and putting his hand to his face awkwardly. “So... Is it over?”

Oshitari squatted down in front of him, gently pulling him to sit forwards, away from the wall. As he touched the back of Shishido’s head, he realised what had happened - he’d simply hit his head against the brick when he’d moved so suddenly to avoid the fake gunshot.

“Well, it’s over, for better or for worse,” Oshitari clarified, helping Shishido shakily to his feet.

“Sorry... I couldn’t back you up,” Shishido apologised, leaning into Oshitari.

“Don’t be stupid,” Oshitari snorted. “That wasn’t your fault, and I got him, you know. Good and clean in the chest. I would be inclined to say the hostage is alive and well but... well,” he glanced back down the alley, looking at the doll discarded up against the wall. “She was never alive to begin with.”

Shishido chuckled lightly. “You were right about that though; I didn’t see it coming.”

“Well you weren’t paying attention to the hints I dished out,” someone said haughtily.

“Atobe,” Oshitari gasped out. “You... What are...?”

Atobe smirked, gesturing to his vest and pulling off his mask. “You don’t recognise your cold-hearted gunman?”

“You look like you had fun doing that, you know,” Shishido scowled, his hand at his head.

Oshitari adjusted his arm around Shishido and shot Atobe a slight glare. “So is there a reason it was you making us chase you around like headless chickens? And why the hostage? And since when do you get the job of being in on these things? I thought you were supposed to be up in the surveillance room watching us,” he frowned.

“Slow down, slow down...” Atobe snickered. “I was meant to be up there, but I decided I’d rather be in on the action. I just didn’t think you’d get a run for your money otherwise.” And he smiled very slightly. “But I think that in the end, you two gave me more than I expected. You didn’t do too badly there, though knocking yourself out is hardly commendable, Shishido.”

“Besides,” he added. “I’ve always wanted to be a bandit,” he grinned, face flushed with exhilaration. “So how was I?”

Oshitari frowned. “Well I don’t want a repeat performance... That’s for sure. You should stick to your desk job and your coffees.”

“So... If we didn’t do too badly,” Shishido cut in, “Why did you have to go and shoot at us?”

Atobe laughed. “Well, you know there are no real bullets involved here. I just thought I should give you a fright since you both looked much too confident for your own good.”

“Are you kidding me?” Shishido nearly yelled. “I was shitting myself back there!”

“Aaand that’s more than enough information, thank you,” Oshitari declared, and slapped a hand over Shishido’s mouth.

+

“So now that you’re through that, you just have another test in a couple of months, then you’re out of here,” Atobe smiled. “What are you intending to do now?”

Oshitari blinked, watching Shishido walk along his favourite little wall. The path behind the academy was completely wet and deserted. Water dripped from the trees, leftover from the morning showers.

“Well I’m not decided yet,” he admitted, though he did now know which way he was leaning.

Being a lawyer would mean fighting crime from behind a desk. There was no thrill of the moment, or of the chase. Of course, there were thrills in the courtroom, but they were of a different kind to what he’d felt out on the tactics set. Everything had felt so real; he had been completely immersed in the situation that for a few minutes, he’d forgotten they were just playing make-believe. A dress rehearsal for the real thing, when it came one day.

And then there was the fact that he wasn’t sure he even wanted to go back to law.

It had never entirely been his own choice in the first place, though admittedly, this hadn’t been either. But he’d found somewhere he was comfortable, where he could feel he was learning and where he knew he’d use his skills some day... And hopefully use them for the good of the people around him, and the people around them; use them to help people like Shishido’s brother, and his mother.

For people whose lives were changing as they lived them, when being there counted most and trained help could mean the difference between life and death, between a good ending and a bad one.

And it really wasn’t too bad doing this sort of thing. Perhaps he’d always wanted just a little more excitement in his life - he’d tried to counter his father’s plans for him by rebelling and doing what he wanted, when he wanted, without ever thinking of people other than himself. But he’d learned to appreciate the everyday things too, by being here.

Going to bed at night was no longer about forcing himself to sleep. He didn’t find himself dissatisfied and wanting to sleep it off, but instead, he found himself with someone at his side, and he looked forwards to the mornings with Shishido. He looked forwards to his evenings with Atobe. He looked forward to the future in a way he hadn’t ever done before.

“Looking overly thoughtful,” Shishido teased then, jumping down from the wall. “Was it really such a hard question?”

Oshitari raised an eyebrow, taking in the smirk on Shishido’s face. “Well, Atobe asked me what I was intending to do, and yes, it was a hard question,” he teased. “Today alone, we still have another three free hours, you realise, and Atobe’s going to have to be punished somehow for that workout he put us through before, and then there’s also the matter of the sofa, which we still haven’t tested for comfort at all...”

“You sound like Shinji,” Shishido said dryly.

“You sound as though you’ve got it all planned,” Atobe mused. “But need I point out that there’s a much more comfortable spot than that sofa which you seem to be so fixated with?”

“What’s that?” Shishido blinked.

“Well, there’s my bed, of course,” Atobe drawled, as though the answer were blatantly obvious. “My living quarters are only a floor above yours, after all.”

There was a moment of silence as Shishido and Oshitari absorbed what he’d just said.

“Why didn’t we know that?” Shishido muttered blankly, glancing at Oshitari.

“You never happened to ask, I suppose,” Atobe said.

“Are you saying that all this time, we’ve been walking all the way over to your office and sitting on that hard-as-anything chair instead of simply walking up the stairs to see you?” Oshitari frowned.

Atobe put his hand to his chin, pretending to look thoughtful. “You could put it that way,” he mused.

“Well then,” Oshitari snorted. “It’s not such a hard question after all. Turn around. We’re going back right now. We have a bed to test, because if you ask me, it’s entirely overdue.”

“Idiot,” Atobe chuckled, despite himself.

“I thought that was my line,” Shishido smiled.

“What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours,” Atobe smirked, slipping a hand into Oshitari’s.

“Well,” Shishido paused, weighing it up. “I guess that works.”

Oshitari held his other hand out and Shishido linked their fingers together.

The future was one windy, not entirely clear path to him. But it wasn’t such a bad feeling, not knowing exactly what he’d be doing a year from now, or even two years.

He was moving towards something - he knew that much. He just didn’t yet know exactly what he was moving towards, much like that last turn he made into the alleyway. He couldn’t see everything ahead of him; there would still be surprises, but he’d deal with them as they came.

He would carve out his own path, make his own decisions and take responsibility, and he’d do it all, knowing that he’d have Shishido and Atobe beside him. All the way.

+

Examination halls had never been thrilling places for someone who got so bored as quickly as Oshitari did. The architecture held his interest for the duration of the first test, and the invigilators and the police in uniform milling about the front offered interesting subjects during the second one, but by the time it came to the third one, Oshitari was flicking his pencil over and under his fingers, moving it back and forth from one side of his hand to the other, watching it twirl back and forth whenever it reached his thumb or his little finger.

There was only so much boredom he could take, so in defiance of the clearly issued warnings advising against it, he turned his head ever so slightly to peer at the other candidates in the hall. Mostly he could only see their backs because of his position, but when he reached the man sitting next to him, he saw a face frowning in concentration, long strands of dark hair being pushed from his eyes repeatedly. And as Oshitari stared, he sat back slightly, apparently stuck on something as he stretched a bit and turned his head from side to side.

The pencil on Oshitari’s hand stopped moving as he watched, and when the man turned in Oshitari’s direction and found him staring back, he froze for a moment, and as though embarrassed at being caught out, he ducked his head down quickly again, his cheeks and ears reddening.

Oshitari smirked slowly. An amusing man, he decided, taking another minute to admire his physique, or as much of it as he could see, anyway. Slightly muscular, toned arms, quite a pretty profile and a nice face, pouty lips and a nice stubborn expression on his face...

Perhaps he’d make it in to the academy (though Oshitari did have his doubts given how troubled the man looked over his answer sheet). Perhaps they might see each other again, Oshitari thought.

If they did...

If they saw each other again... He certainly wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to get to know him better.

Oshitari watched how intently the man kept his eyes down and determinedly filled in his answer boxes, and he chuckled under his breath, turning his own attention back to his answer sheet. He should have passed the first two tests easily without much effort, but just in case, he’d make sure to do exceptionally well on this one.

He now had something to hope for, after all.

Fin.