i am leaving in 23 days.

im freaking out.

today during 7th period i had a mini panic attack. im leaving in 23 days. i have so much to do. i have so much studying and school work to do, i have to get in shape, i have to tihnk about what to bring to Wyoming, i have to figure out what t do with my horse, i have to get into college, i have to make a ( Read more... )

 i dont even know what is going on my life right now ( Read more... )

 ive been on the brink  of tears every second of everyday since thursday. i cant explain to you how much i miss my aunt. her funeral was today. and i cried even before it started. i love my family so much. before she died i didnt appreciate them. now..i dont want to leave them, i dont want to go anywhere with out at least one family member. i dont ( Read more... )

 my aunt died ( Read more... )

i feel so detached from everyone and everything right now. i feel like all im doing and im attached to right now is trying to wait out the bad things that are happening. im waiting out my aunts death. im waiting out my mom. im waiting out school. im waiting out everything ( Read more... )

 it's such a weird feeling when death is looming over your whole family. i guess it feels like when i was in 6th grade and my grandpa died of cancer.  he died around this time. i think it was the week of memorial day.  its weird. brings back too much. as much as i cant stand my grandma. she lost her husband, and is loosing her daughter to cancer.

 today my dad basically told me my aunt is going to die soon.
shes doing terribly.

ive been thinking a lot lately about my biggest regrets. one of them is that i dont tihnk i have ever told my aunt i loved her. we dont do that in the lehman family. we dont say i love, we dont say i miss you, we dont express our feelings, we dont hug, we dont  kiss ( Read more... )

 how do i make this decision. it is one of the hardest ive ever had to make ( Read more... )

 i am more unhappy than i have ever been in my whole entire life ( Read more... )

 i think we should judge our life on how much toilet paper we use.

use too much- you're eating too much and have to poo alot.

use too little- you're stressed out and have to poo more

two square limit- eco friendly

i have to think of more. this will be edited