The Amazing Adventures of Admiral Awkward
Before anything else, I just want to warn people that this may be mildly offensive. Please do not read if you are a patients' rights advocate or you're not particularly fond of golden showers.
What is it about my co-workers and hygiene?
I was at the office yesterday, minding my own business, getting articles prepared for the Saturday page, when a co-worker approaches to give souvenirs from the recently concluded celebration of the Union's 20th anniversary. In the beginning, our conversation just runs along those lines, until she decides to go TMI on my ass.
Without any prompting from me, she begins talking about this operation she's just had and how the doctors still haven't taken some contraption out from her vagina. She says that it makes it virtually impossible for her to control her bladder, and that she's liable to just pee about anywhere else. That's why she always wears skirts, see?
Of course, at this point I just stare at her, aghast, but that probably isn't enough because she keeps on talking and talking about it. She then says that she has to go, because she feels like she's about to pee, BUT SHE DOESN'T LEAVE! She keeps on talking and talking and talking and then AWKWARDNESS ENSUES!
She starts saying "Ay! Ay! AY!" in increasing volume, and I knew I shouldn't have looked down BUT I DID ANYWAY! AND SHE WAS PEEING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
I don't know how, but I managed to keep a straight face. I didn't laugh, I didn't scream "EWWWWW!", I even calmly took out a box of tissues and handed it to her. AND THEN SHE LIFTS UP HER SKIRT AND STARTS WIPING HERSELF IN FRONT OF ME! GOOD FUCKING CHRIST!
And I know I'll regret this when I'm old and can't control my bladder anymore and some nursing intern will be videoblogging about my disgusting physical functions, but it stank so bad. It stank so, so bad. And she kept on apologizing and I kept on saying "No problem," but there was a problem, and it was the smell.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
* * * * *
MOVING ON.
Look! Bed, the gay bar for the young Manila faggot who has just come out of the closet, is featured in Towleroad!
* * * * *
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjLw28UVWEU
Oh, Singapore. You will never stop being funny.
What is it about my co-workers and hygiene?
I was at the office yesterday, minding my own business, getting articles prepared for the Saturday page, when a co-worker approaches to give souvenirs from the recently concluded celebration of the Union's 20th anniversary. In the beginning, our conversation just runs along those lines, until she decides to go TMI on my ass.
Without any prompting from me, she begins talking about this operation she's just had and how the doctors still haven't taken some contraption out from her vagina. She says that it makes it virtually impossible for her to control her bladder, and that she's liable to just pee about anywhere else. That's why she always wears skirts, see?
Of course, at this point I just stare at her, aghast, but that probably isn't enough because she keeps on talking and talking about it. She then says that she has to go, because she feels like she's about to pee, BUT SHE DOESN'T LEAVE! She keeps on talking and talking and talking and then AWKWARDNESS ENSUES!
She starts saying "Ay! Ay! AY!" in increasing volume, and I knew I shouldn't have looked down BUT I DID ANYWAY! AND SHE WAS PEEING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
I don't know how, but I managed to keep a straight face. I didn't laugh, I didn't scream "EWWWWW!", I even calmly took out a box of tissues and handed it to her. AND THEN SHE LIFTS UP HER SKIRT AND STARTS WIPING HERSELF IN FRONT OF ME! GOOD FUCKING CHRIST!
And I know I'll regret this when I'm old and can't control my bladder anymore and some nursing intern will be videoblogging about my disgusting physical functions, but it stank so bad. It stank so, so bad. And she kept on apologizing and I kept on saying "No problem," but there was a problem, and it was the smell.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
* * * * *
MOVING ON.
Look! Bed, the gay bar for the young Manila faggot who has just come out of the closet, is featured in Towleroad!
* * * * *
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjLw28UVWEU
Oh, Singapore. You will never stop being funny.