I'm supposed to appreciate life more now or something... at least that's what I've read.

I feel cheated and used, there's no way around that. My first instinct was to find a reason why I'm to blame; we both know, and the friends and family we choose to share our story with would likely agree that I'm the one who wouldn't give it a chance. If I had... if it didn't take losing you to someone else for me to see how important it was to go ( Read more... )

Last night after sharing my feelings about being pushed aside by my best friend for a girl, I was compared to this girl. "I don't need to be schooled by two women" he says.. BURN. Because I've always scolded you, yes, it is I who have always been the one to scold in this relationship. Of course. I asked a lot of you too, I mean, I must have asked ( Read more... )

for you are one of the many reasons I want to die, yet the only reason I live

I really hate myself. I sat here all day hoping that he would come online and talk about whatever may have happened last night because my thoughts about it are making me crazy... I went away just for a little while and when I came back there he was.. when I took off my away message there he wasn't... I just want to die.. I just want to die.

i feel compelled to write something, but my mind is reeling and my chest feels heavy. panic... desperation.. insane? i just remembered how i used to think to myself "i want to go home.. i want to go home" when things went wrong... and i mean i don't just think that when im away.. i think it when i am already home. i dont know why, i dont know what ( Read more... )

Last night I decided I need to get myself out of the house so I hung out for a while at my cousins place... nothing special... got my mind off things for a little while though... yup.. Ian came up to hang out today. He said he'd be here around noon, but as usual, he was very early and I was still sleeping, so he woke me. I think he does this on ( Read more... )

I lost most all of my writing and projects when I accidentally deleted everything from my pc a couple years ago.. but I came across an email about something I wrote-I tend not to delete emails for some reason ( Read more... )

If I deserve better... why don't you give me better..

"what's your name again? I'm not sure I ever asked you... *wink*"
"... sarah. it's sarah."

I do crack me up.

I so wish I couldn't tell the difference between when she's around and when she's not around... :(