stupid
Title: stupid
Pairing: Donghae x Kyuhyun; Super Junior
Rating: R
Word Count: ~2700
Notes: Not quite sure what I’m doing with characterization but let’s see how this goes.
Summary: Kyuhyun is stupid for Donghae.
stupid
The start goes something like this.
"You need to help me not suck," Kyuhyun says. His brow rises as he takes in Donghae’s figure, sprawled on the couch with Sungmin's laptop. He doesn't know why it's in the living room or, more importantly, why Donghae is touching it, but he does know that it’s time for damage control. "And normally I wouldn’t give a shit, but step away from the computer."
Donghae doesn’t budge, "But I was just going to look up-"
"Away." Donghae glances upward with round pleading eyes, but Kyuhyun folds his arms over his chest. Donghae frowns but obliges, placing the laptop on the table obediently.
Kyuhyun lets out a breath of relief - if Donghae had actually managed to break the thing, then Kyuhyun would have to deal with Sungmin’s bitching, and that wouldn’t do anything for his already pathetic complexion, and - and then he remembers why he’s there in the first place. Donghae’s looking at him now, curious, and Kyuhyun forces whatever the hell is suddenly somersaulting in the depths of his stomach to the recesses of his stupid mind. Nerves? Hell if he’d ever admit it.
"What’s up?" Donghae tilts his head and Kyuhyun’s eyes swim. They fix on the sharp knobs of Donghae’s bony wrists, on a chocolate stain smeared on the sharp edge of the coffee table, on the flickering aromatic candle on the kitchen ledge - probably Rweowook’s idea; Kyuhyun would have to remember to laugh at him later for being so… so him - on everything except Donghae and his pathetically unassuming face.
Finally, he grits his teeth and decides to - just say it before it kills you, Kyuhyun you idiot - stop thinking. "Help me dance," Kyuhyun says, though the words come out muffled.
Donghae just smiles, wide-eyed and bright, "I’m sorry, what?"
Kyuhyun glares as he repeats himself, voice clearer this time, and he cringes. Really, his request is much better than all the sappy things he may actually want to say, stupid stuff that makes him grimace - look at ME, goddamnit - and come on, he has an image to maintain after all. One that isn’t completely lame and sort of maybe in love with Donghae. Donghae Donghae Donghai Lee Donghae.
He waits for the inevitable rejection - a part of him thinks he’ll probably be relieved when it comes so he can finally stop thinking about flawless features and imagining bending Donghae backwards every other second of the day and just move on with his Donghae-less life - and he holds his breath.
But instead, Donghae laughs, crystal-like sounds pouring from those so pink lips. "All you had to do was ask."
Surprised, Kyuhyun breathes.
And they begin.
"Oh god, I really am the dancing black hole in this godforsaken group," Kyuhyun groans, muscles aching as he eases himself onto the floor, face first. Beside him, Donghae laughs, breathless.
Kyuhyun swears he's not usually this bad. Okay, so maybe he is, but he'll certainly never admit that. And maybe, maybe it's because Donghae has just taken off his shirt and he swears those lean muscles actually ripple. So fine, maybe Kyuhyun is embarrassingly distracted. Attracted, whatever. God, he feels prepubescent, or even worse, like a fangirl. Could his life get any worse? Kyuhyun’s supposed to be cooler than this but - this. This is just -
"This is ridiculous," Kyuhyun mutters, and Donghae pokes the soft flesh of Kyuhyun’s left butt cheek.
"What?" Kyuhyun doesn’t bother replying, and instead kicks Donghae with his barely functioning leg as he rolls onto his side in embarrassment - and so he can stop staring at Donghae like the creeper he is slowly becoming.
He thinks it can't get any more cliché than this, than all this sexual tension (that he is probably just imagining because Donghae is endearingly oblivious) in the dance studio. It’s like that really bad porno Kangin caught Eunhyuk watching - the one with the busty yoga instructor that Kangin mocks Eunhyuk for weeks after, the one where the lead is flaming hot and all her pupils want to do her - except where the video had big bouncing breasts, instead Kyuhyun just imagines Donghae. Donghae, who is not a hot yoga instructor, but who, as he dances, can still bend his body every which way and leaves Kyuhyun enraptured. Donghae, whose body is neither big, nor bouncy, nor female for that matter. Donghae, who Kyuhyun is ridiculously attracted to, and maybe sort of loves.
He thinks about what would happen if he would just man up and tell Donghae what he wants. After all, asking for what he wants never used to be an issue before - as the youngest, it’s practically his birthright. So how is it so completely and horrifically embarrassing for him to just admit that he wants Donghae?
It’s times like these when he thinks, hopefully, this isn’t love after all - wouldn’t that be great? Maybe one night is all he needs, maybe one will be enough. One night to get all this DonghaeDonghaeDonghae out of his system, finally, to purge him from Kyuhyun’s stupidly infatuated brain.
Panic settles when Donghae catches Kyuhyun looking at him - oh god he knows Donghae has to know this is horrible - but after a pause and a thoughtful tilt of his head, all Donghae does is stand, brushing sweaty palms against baggy sweat pants, and he reaches down to pull Kyuhyun up.
Sometimes he thinks Donghae knows something Kyuhyun doesn’t. He catches glances from the corners of Donghae’s crescent-creased eyes, catches bright smiles hidden by shy hands, and he wonders what Donghae is thinking, if he’s even thinking at all. Though that’s a lie, Kyuhyun’s always known that Donghae is smarter than they give him credit for. It’s part of the reason Kyuhyun likes Donghae so much in the first place.
Still, Kyuhyun notices the glances, and he wonders.
He notices Donghae’s hands reaching out to him, cupping his shoulder as they walk, sliding to clasp his own as they run through the halls. Notices when Donghae bounds to him in long strides as if Kyuhyun is the only person that matters in the moment. Notices when Donghae forsakes going out with the others so that the two of them can stay behind in the dance studio and perfect what can never be perfected. And Kyuhyun feels stupid because maybe that’s just the kind of person Donghae is, helpful and brilliant and him, but he can’t help but notice anyway.
And he wonders.
Weeks and many dance practices later, it is still embarrassingly cliché that Kyuhyun more often than not wants to rip the clothes off of Donghae's dancing form, and then hold his hand afterward, but at least he's admitted it now. Donghae is a maelstrom of long graceful limbs that catch the light as he dances and defined muscles that clench under smooth smooth skin. His lips are thin and velvet soft, mouth pouty and glistening, eyes sparkling with a giddy sort of sadness. Donghae is beautiful, so beautiful, and - oh god, this is everything he should not be doing but does it even matter anymore; one night - and this is why he decides to kiss him.
It's a stupid decision, really - maybe even worse than that time he forgot to put on his seat belt and almost fucking died - but Donghae doesn't seem that surprised. Or maybe he is and covers it up enthusiastically, or maybe he’s just horny. Either way, Donghae sits shock still for barely a second before his mouth molds onto Kyuhyun's chapped lips with a soft sigh. Kyuhyun smells sweet aftershave and salt sweat, tastes peppermint that lingers delicious on Donghae’s tongue, groans curses and prayers into that pretty, pretty mouth. Donghae hands knot themselves into Kyuhyun’s shirt and pull him in close, so close, and Kyuhyun's voice twists when Donghae presses tight and flush against his thigh.
And then he remembers to think.
"What. You’re-kissing me back?" The moment the question bursts forth, Kyuhyun grimaces. What a dumb question. He wishes he hadn’t opened his mouth, wants to bite the question back somehow, erase it from Donghae’s already selectively dim memory. He wants to go right back to fondling Donghae, wants to be kissing Donghae again, wants to be under him and over him and with him and not thinking about how he is pathetically in love and doesn’t want this to be a onetime thing.
Donghae just laughs.
"Maybe I like you." Kyuhyun glares at him, unconvinced, but to his chagrin, Donghae giggles even more. "Maybe I like you even though your face looks like a war zone," he says happily.
At that, Kyuhyun snorts. "Wow, way to woo a guy."
"I know, I'm awesome," Donghae grins, before grabbing Kyuhyun by the face, not even flinching when his fingers brush against reddened pores, acne scars that are embarrassing and disgusting and just, unattractive - everyone thinks so. He tries to pull away, feeling all of a sudden stupid and self-conscious and insecure, but Donghae's eyes are simple half-moons of happiness as he refuses to let go, and he places a smack of a kiss on Kyuhyun's lips.
I am such an idiot, Kyuhyun thinks as Donghae locks the practice room door.
Though he doesn’t think he has the resolve to stop - Donghae, himself, this - and so he doesn’t.
It continues like this. Stolen moments in the shower stall late at night when everyone's asleep. Hidden kisses in the kitchen as Donghae rinses and Kyuhyun dries. A hand down Kyuhyun's sweatpants as he tries to - fucking hell just die - beat another zerg colony - what the, where the fuck did you come from, I'm going to smoke the shit out of you - and hold down a whimper.
It continues and continues and continues. Because apparently one night wasn’t enough, for the both of them, and who the hell was Kyuhyun trying to kid, anyway? Of course it wouldn’t have been.
Sometimes, Kyuhyun will get the urge to stop feeling like such a dumbass and just admit it, have it all out in the open. "I’m an idiot and I’m pretty sure I love you," Kyuhyun tries one time, when Donghae is asleep and dead to the world - and yeah it’s sort of cowardly but hell, it’s a start - "could you, possibly, give loving me back a stab?"
But who actually would? Kyuhyun will be the first to admit that he’s not exactly love-love material. And it’s not even because of his personality traits because really, Kyuhyun actually thinks he’s a pretty awesome human being, enough said. What matters is that Donghae is way too pretty (and really, too good) for him.
Kyuhyun is no Siwon, or Kibum, or Heechul, or Hankyung, and, fuck, he’s certainly no Donghae. He’s skinny, and too tall with awkward limbs. There are scars where they shouldn’t be, tracing jagged maps of white scarred etchings across patches of too pale skin. And then, there’s the face. That stupid face which is tragically pimpled and who in their right mind would touch that face? No one, that’s who. Well, except Donghae has. He has, and, but - but he certainly wouldn’t want to touch that face for the rest of his life, right? Though, if Kyuhyun had pimples the rest of his life, he may as well stab himself with a fork because that is just pathetic and for god’s sake, he’s over twenty now - acne shouldn’t be a fucking issue anymore.
It shouldn’t, but it still is. And somehow, despite all that, Donghae still wants to touch him. Kyuhyun isn’t sure he wants to think about what that could mean, but at least he can accept it.
Kyuhyun is a man. Sometimes, he forgets this, because even though he enjoys the sex, craves it and craves Donghae, Kyuhyun will have to admit that he isn’t in this for the sex, that he can’t be here just for that, that he never really was. He knows this because even though the sex is mind-blowing and fantastic and the sort of awesome that groaned expletives into clenched fists couldn’t begin to describe, what he thinks he likes most and what he remembers best are the most simple of moments. These are the times they spend together that remind Kyuhyun of why he started falling for Donghae in the first place.
When Donghae laughs, boundless in happiness, at something Kyuhyun says.
When Donghae's head falls onto Kyuhyun's shoulder on the car ride home, because he has forced Eunhyuk to scoot over so he can sit in the middle of two of his most important people.
When they sit side by side during dinner, brushing thighs and knocking knees under the table, eating from the same soup bowl.
When they lay flat on their stomachs on the living room floor playing poker, betting sexual favors and Zhou Mi's makeup collection and who has to wash Eunhyuk's socks (Kyuhyun always wins).
When Donghae searches him out first to tell him about his day, hands fluttering around Kyuhyun's wrists to stop him from playing Starcraft for those few precious seconds before Kyuhyun flings Donghae off with an amused scowl.
When Donghae sits with him on the plane to China and clutches Kyuhyun’s hand like a lifeline, fingers tightly intertwined and their held hands hidden under a thin blanket for the entirety of the flight, even when Kyuhyun tries to pull away and Donghae refuses to let go.
He continues to love.
A quickie in Kyuhyun's room before Sungmin gets back from recording Chunji. Kyuhyun is underneath Donghae and clutching onto this now familiar weight, this warmth that radiates from beneath his palms as his grip tightens on the sharp and lean contours of Donghae's back. Donghae moves, hips snapping to meet Kyuhyun's, and hisses fill the air as he mutters obscenities under his breath, the - oh fuck, you need to, fuck, Kyuhyun - and eventually Donghae’s fingers tighten through damp locks of Kyuhyun’s hair and Kyuhyun keens. Donghae moves slow, laying down next to Kyuhyun as he struggles to calm his breathing, tip of his nose resting in the sweet salty curve of Kyuhyun's neck.
A pause, long and aching, and then Donghae rasps shy and quiet words into the line of Kyuhyun’s jaw. "You need to tell me you love me so I can tell you I love you back."
"What." Kyuhyun squeaks embarrassingly and jolts back, but Donghae's hands are firm on Kyuhyun's thin upper arms, as if he had been expecting all along for Kyuhyun to pull away. More importantly, there’s no way Kyuhyun just heard what he thought he did.
Donghae digs his chin into Kyuhyun's collarbone, before leaning a flushed cheek on Kyuhyun's chest. It’s a little painful and he thinks he hears Donghae whisper, "I may be going out on a limb here, but you are a stupid, stupid boy sometimes," but all Kyuhyun can focus on are those words which don’t make any sense at all. iloveyoubackilouveyoubackiloveyou-
"You do?" he manages this time, barely croaking out the words.
Donghae pokes a finger into Kyuhyun's nipple, making a small beeping noise that would make Kyuhyun snort or laugh or something if he wasn’t so fucking terrified. Donghae shakes his head. "No, you need to say it first."
Kyuhyun blinks, and opens his mouth to argue that there is no logic whatsoever behind that and maybe he just wants to argue for the sake of arguing because he’s Kyuhyun and a snarky son of a bitch and that’s what he does, but - but then he looks at Donghae and sees those eyes that flash nervousness behind stunningly clear irises, that are prodding at Kyuhyun to say something so that he won’t have to, and he swallows. Maybe, just maybe, they are not so dissimilar after all. He takes in a deep breath.
"I love you." he says.
A pause before Donghae nods, voice trembling slightly. "See, that wasn't so hard." And then he finally smiles, brilliant and wide and him. "I love you too."
"Oh," Kyuhyun says.
They kiss, sweet and slow, and Kyuhyun thinks he finally gets it.
The start goes something like this.
And they begin.
AN: A little contrived and a whole lot lame, that’s apparently how I write semi-serious Suju fic lol.
Props for getting this far? ::noms feedback like pie::
Pairing: Donghae x Kyuhyun; Super Junior
Rating: R
Word Count: ~2700
Notes: Not quite sure what I’m doing with characterization but let’s see how this goes.
Summary: Kyuhyun is stupid for Donghae.
stupid
The start goes something like this.
"You need to help me not suck," Kyuhyun says. His brow rises as he takes in Donghae’s figure, sprawled on the couch with Sungmin's laptop. He doesn't know why it's in the living room or, more importantly, why Donghae is touching it, but he does know that it’s time for damage control. "And normally I wouldn’t give a shit, but step away from the computer."
Donghae doesn’t budge, "But I was just going to look up-"
"Away." Donghae glances upward with round pleading eyes, but Kyuhyun folds his arms over his chest. Donghae frowns but obliges, placing the laptop on the table obediently.
Kyuhyun lets out a breath of relief - if Donghae had actually managed to break the thing, then Kyuhyun would have to deal with Sungmin’s bitching, and that wouldn’t do anything for his already pathetic complexion, and - and then he remembers why he’s there in the first place. Donghae’s looking at him now, curious, and Kyuhyun forces whatever the hell is suddenly somersaulting in the depths of his stomach to the recesses of his stupid mind. Nerves? Hell if he’d ever admit it.
"What’s up?" Donghae tilts his head and Kyuhyun’s eyes swim. They fix on the sharp knobs of Donghae’s bony wrists, on a chocolate stain smeared on the sharp edge of the coffee table, on the flickering aromatic candle on the kitchen ledge - probably Rweowook’s idea; Kyuhyun would have to remember to laugh at him later for being so… so him - on everything except Donghae and his pathetically unassuming face.
Finally, he grits his teeth and decides to - just say it before it kills you, Kyuhyun you idiot - stop thinking. "Help me dance," Kyuhyun says, though the words come out muffled.
Donghae just smiles, wide-eyed and bright, "I’m sorry, what?"
Kyuhyun glares as he repeats himself, voice clearer this time, and he cringes. Really, his request is much better than all the sappy things he may actually want to say, stupid stuff that makes him grimace - look at ME, goddamnit - and come on, he has an image to maintain after all. One that isn’t completely lame and sort of maybe in love with Donghae. Donghae Donghae Donghai Lee Donghae.
He waits for the inevitable rejection - a part of him thinks he’ll probably be relieved when it comes so he can finally stop thinking about flawless features and imagining bending Donghae backwards every other second of the day and just move on with his Donghae-less life - and he holds his breath.
But instead, Donghae laughs, crystal-like sounds pouring from those so pink lips. "All you had to do was ask."
Surprised, Kyuhyun breathes.
And they begin.
"Oh god, I really am the dancing black hole in this godforsaken group," Kyuhyun groans, muscles aching as he eases himself onto the floor, face first. Beside him, Donghae laughs, breathless.
Kyuhyun swears he's not usually this bad. Okay, so maybe he is, but he'll certainly never admit that. And maybe, maybe it's because Donghae has just taken off his shirt and he swears those lean muscles actually ripple. So fine, maybe Kyuhyun is embarrassingly distracted. Attracted, whatever. God, he feels prepubescent, or even worse, like a fangirl. Could his life get any worse? Kyuhyun’s supposed to be cooler than this but - this. This is just -
"This is ridiculous," Kyuhyun mutters, and Donghae pokes the soft flesh of Kyuhyun’s left butt cheek.
"What?" Kyuhyun doesn’t bother replying, and instead kicks Donghae with his barely functioning leg as he rolls onto his side in embarrassment - and so he can stop staring at Donghae like the creeper he is slowly becoming.
He thinks it can't get any more cliché than this, than all this sexual tension (that he is probably just imagining because Donghae is endearingly oblivious) in the dance studio. It’s like that really bad porno Kangin caught Eunhyuk watching - the one with the busty yoga instructor that Kangin mocks Eunhyuk for weeks after, the one where the lead is flaming hot and all her pupils want to do her - except where the video had big bouncing breasts, instead Kyuhyun just imagines Donghae. Donghae, who is not a hot yoga instructor, but who, as he dances, can still bend his body every which way and leaves Kyuhyun enraptured. Donghae, whose body is neither big, nor bouncy, nor female for that matter. Donghae, who Kyuhyun is ridiculously attracted to, and maybe sort of loves.
He thinks about what would happen if he would just man up and tell Donghae what he wants. After all, asking for what he wants never used to be an issue before - as the youngest, it’s practically his birthright. So how is it so completely and horrifically embarrassing for him to just admit that he wants Donghae?
It’s times like these when he thinks, hopefully, this isn’t love after all - wouldn’t that be great? Maybe one night is all he needs, maybe one will be enough. One night to get all this DonghaeDonghaeDonghae out of his system, finally, to purge him from Kyuhyun’s stupidly infatuated brain.
Panic settles when Donghae catches Kyuhyun looking at him - oh god he knows Donghae has to know this is horrible - but after a pause and a thoughtful tilt of his head, all Donghae does is stand, brushing sweaty palms against baggy sweat pants, and he reaches down to pull Kyuhyun up.
Sometimes he thinks Donghae knows something Kyuhyun doesn’t. He catches glances from the corners of Donghae’s crescent-creased eyes, catches bright smiles hidden by shy hands, and he wonders what Donghae is thinking, if he’s even thinking at all. Though that’s a lie, Kyuhyun’s always known that Donghae is smarter than they give him credit for. It’s part of the reason Kyuhyun likes Donghae so much in the first place.
Still, Kyuhyun notices the glances, and he wonders.
He notices Donghae’s hands reaching out to him, cupping his shoulder as they walk, sliding to clasp his own as they run through the halls. Notices when Donghae bounds to him in long strides as if Kyuhyun is the only person that matters in the moment. Notices when Donghae forsakes going out with the others so that the two of them can stay behind in the dance studio and perfect what can never be perfected. And Kyuhyun feels stupid because maybe that’s just the kind of person Donghae is, helpful and brilliant and him, but he can’t help but notice anyway.
And he wonders.
Weeks and many dance practices later, it is still embarrassingly cliché that Kyuhyun more often than not wants to rip the clothes off of Donghae's dancing form, and then hold his hand afterward, but at least he's admitted it now. Donghae is a maelstrom of long graceful limbs that catch the light as he dances and defined muscles that clench under smooth smooth skin. His lips are thin and velvet soft, mouth pouty and glistening, eyes sparkling with a giddy sort of sadness. Donghae is beautiful, so beautiful, and - oh god, this is everything he should not be doing but does it even matter anymore; one night - and this is why he decides to kiss him.
It's a stupid decision, really - maybe even worse than that time he forgot to put on his seat belt and almost fucking died - but Donghae doesn't seem that surprised. Or maybe he is and covers it up enthusiastically, or maybe he’s just horny. Either way, Donghae sits shock still for barely a second before his mouth molds onto Kyuhyun's chapped lips with a soft sigh. Kyuhyun smells sweet aftershave and salt sweat, tastes peppermint that lingers delicious on Donghae’s tongue, groans curses and prayers into that pretty, pretty mouth. Donghae hands knot themselves into Kyuhyun’s shirt and pull him in close, so close, and Kyuhyun's voice twists when Donghae presses tight and flush against his thigh.
And then he remembers to think.
"What. You’re-kissing me back?" The moment the question bursts forth, Kyuhyun grimaces. What a dumb question. He wishes he hadn’t opened his mouth, wants to bite the question back somehow, erase it from Donghae’s already selectively dim memory. He wants to go right back to fondling Donghae, wants to be kissing Donghae again, wants to be under him and over him and with him and not thinking about how he is pathetically in love and doesn’t want this to be a onetime thing.
Donghae just laughs.
"Maybe I like you." Kyuhyun glares at him, unconvinced, but to his chagrin, Donghae giggles even more. "Maybe I like you even though your face looks like a war zone," he says happily.
At that, Kyuhyun snorts. "Wow, way to woo a guy."
"I know, I'm awesome," Donghae grins, before grabbing Kyuhyun by the face, not even flinching when his fingers brush against reddened pores, acne scars that are embarrassing and disgusting and just, unattractive - everyone thinks so. He tries to pull away, feeling all of a sudden stupid and self-conscious and insecure, but Donghae's eyes are simple half-moons of happiness as he refuses to let go, and he places a smack of a kiss on Kyuhyun's lips.
I am such an idiot, Kyuhyun thinks as Donghae locks the practice room door.
Though he doesn’t think he has the resolve to stop - Donghae, himself, this - and so he doesn’t.
It continues like this. Stolen moments in the shower stall late at night when everyone's asleep. Hidden kisses in the kitchen as Donghae rinses and Kyuhyun dries. A hand down Kyuhyun's sweatpants as he tries to - fucking hell just die - beat another zerg colony - what the, where the fuck did you come from, I'm going to smoke the shit out of you - and hold down a whimper.
It continues and continues and continues. Because apparently one night wasn’t enough, for the both of them, and who the hell was Kyuhyun trying to kid, anyway? Of course it wouldn’t have been.
Sometimes, Kyuhyun will get the urge to stop feeling like such a dumbass and just admit it, have it all out in the open. "I’m an idiot and I’m pretty sure I love you," Kyuhyun tries one time, when Donghae is asleep and dead to the world - and yeah it’s sort of cowardly but hell, it’s a start - "could you, possibly, give loving me back a stab?"
But who actually would? Kyuhyun will be the first to admit that he’s not exactly love-love material. And it’s not even because of his personality traits because really, Kyuhyun actually thinks he’s a pretty awesome human being, enough said. What matters is that Donghae is way too pretty (and really, too good) for him.
Kyuhyun is no Siwon, or Kibum, or Heechul, or Hankyung, and, fuck, he’s certainly no Donghae. He’s skinny, and too tall with awkward limbs. There are scars where they shouldn’t be, tracing jagged maps of white scarred etchings across patches of too pale skin. And then, there’s the face. That stupid face which is tragically pimpled and who in their right mind would touch that face? No one, that’s who. Well, except Donghae has. He has, and, but - but he certainly wouldn’t want to touch that face for the rest of his life, right? Though, if Kyuhyun had pimples the rest of his life, he may as well stab himself with a fork because that is just pathetic and for god’s sake, he’s over twenty now - acne shouldn’t be a fucking issue anymore.
It shouldn’t, but it still is. And somehow, despite all that, Donghae still wants to touch him. Kyuhyun isn’t sure he wants to think about what that could mean, but at least he can accept it.
Kyuhyun is a man. Sometimes, he forgets this, because even though he enjoys the sex, craves it and craves Donghae, Kyuhyun will have to admit that he isn’t in this for the sex, that he can’t be here just for that, that he never really was. He knows this because even though the sex is mind-blowing and fantastic and the sort of awesome that groaned expletives into clenched fists couldn’t begin to describe, what he thinks he likes most and what he remembers best are the most simple of moments. These are the times they spend together that remind Kyuhyun of why he started falling for Donghae in the first place.
When Donghae laughs, boundless in happiness, at something Kyuhyun says.
When Donghae's head falls onto Kyuhyun's shoulder on the car ride home, because he has forced Eunhyuk to scoot over so he can sit in the middle of two of his most important people.
When they sit side by side during dinner, brushing thighs and knocking knees under the table, eating from the same soup bowl.
When they lay flat on their stomachs on the living room floor playing poker, betting sexual favors and Zhou Mi's makeup collection and who has to wash Eunhyuk's socks (Kyuhyun always wins).
When Donghae searches him out first to tell him about his day, hands fluttering around Kyuhyun's wrists to stop him from playing Starcraft for those few precious seconds before Kyuhyun flings Donghae off with an amused scowl.
When Donghae sits with him on the plane to China and clutches Kyuhyun’s hand like a lifeline, fingers tightly intertwined and their held hands hidden under a thin blanket for the entirety of the flight, even when Kyuhyun tries to pull away and Donghae refuses to let go.
He continues to love.
A quickie in Kyuhyun's room before Sungmin gets back from recording Chunji. Kyuhyun is underneath Donghae and clutching onto this now familiar weight, this warmth that radiates from beneath his palms as his grip tightens on the sharp and lean contours of Donghae's back. Donghae moves, hips snapping to meet Kyuhyun's, and hisses fill the air as he mutters obscenities under his breath, the - oh fuck, you need to, fuck, Kyuhyun - and eventually Donghae’s fingers tighten through damp locks of Kyuhyun’s hair and Kyuhyun keens. Donghae moves slow, laying down next to Kyuhyun as he struggles to calm his breathing, tip of his nose resting in the sweet salty curve of Kyuhyun's neck.
A pause, long and aching, and then Donghae rasps shy and quiet words into the line of Kyuhyun’s jaw. "You need to tell me you love me so I can tell you I love you back."
"What." Kyuhyun squeaks embarrassingly and jolts back, but Donghae's hands are firm on Kyuhyun's thin upper arms, as if he had been expecting all along for Kyuhyun to pull away. More importantly, there’s no way Kyuhyun just heard what he thought he did.
Donghae digs his chin into Kyuhyun's collarbone, before leaning a flushed cheek on Kyuhyun's chest. It’s a little painful and he thinks he hears Donghae whisper, "I may be going out on a limb here, but you are a stupid, stupid boy sometimes," but all Kyuhyun can focus on are those words which don’t make any sense at all. iloveyoubackilouveyoubackiloveyou-
"You do?" he manages this time, barely croaking out the words.
Donghae pokes a finger into Kyuhyun's nipple, making a small beeping noise that would make Kyuhyun snort or laugh or something if he wasn’t so fucking terrified. Donghae shakes his head. "No, you need to say it first."
Kyuhyun blinks, and opens his mouth to argue that there is no logic whatsoever behind that and maybe he just wants to argue for the sake of arguing because he’s Kyuhyun and a snarky son of a bitch and that’s what he does, but - but then he looks at Donghae and sees those eyes that flash nervousness behind stunningly clear irises, that are prodding at Kyuhyun to say something so that he won’t have to, and he swallows. Maybe, just maybe, they are not so dissimilar after all. He takes in a deep breath.
"I love you." he says.
A pause before Donghae nods, voice trembling slightly. "See, that wasn't so hard." And then he finally smiles, brilliant and wide and him. "I love you too."
"Oh," Kyuhyun says.
They kiss, sweet and slow, and Kyuhyun thinks he finally gets it.
The start goes something like this.
And they begin.
AN: A little contrived and a whole lot lame, that’s apparently how I write semi-serious Suju fic lol.
Props for getting this far? ::noms feedback like pie::