arkansas: land of 1,000 churches... per person
so, i am going to write a detailed description of my hendrix trip. then never speak of it again.
ok, so the plane trip there was pretty boring. then we arrive in little rock, get a car, and start driving to conway. on the way, we see about 17 lakes (prime breeding ground for mosquitoes, according to locals) and no less than 2398472398472 churches. i'm barely exaggerating. there were more churches than houses, leaving me to suspect that one person somehow goes to more than one church.
"where do you go to church?"
"well, my left leg goes to united methodist, my right prefers first baptist, and my left hand goes to st. mary's."
"what about your right hand?"
"oh, it's atheist."
they had the CRAZIEST town names, too. we saw signs for snowball, pocahontas, and england. we actually ventured through pickles gap (contrary to popular belief, they only make fudge. don't ask, i have absolutely no idea).
but the absolute best part of the trip there was this billboard:
for those of you who don't speak hillbilly, that translates to: did you eat? j'eet -> ja eat -> didja eat -> did you eat.
OH MY GOD. i told my dad to turn the car around, i'd seen enough. i like having all my teeth, i hate banjo, and i'm not romantically interested in any of my cousins, so i definitely wouldn't fit in. unfortunately, he dismissed my pleas and i was forced to continue.
but dude. campus was so pretty. the buildings were all super nice, the teachers were beyond cool, and the students were nice. there was even a group of them protesting for gay rights a few streets down. whoa!
so we get there and then just wander around for about three hours, then i go to dinner for students and am unbelievably, excruciatingly awkward. i end up at a table with four band kids, and they pretty much just talk about band for an hour. did you know theres more than one type of saxophone??? ME NEITHER! i tried to steer the conversation to something less lame, like, i don't know, ANYTHING, but they wouldn't have any of it. band = life for these kids.
then we went back to our hotel because i had to finish writing my presentation for the next morning. we were supposed to prepare a discussion for one of four literary works they gave us. i worked on it SO hard. it was probably about 5,000 words of pure literary genius. i was up until about 3:30, then worked on it from 8:30 to 10:30 the next morning.
so i go to the interview place and walk inside the room. i have my seven pages of notes ready and waiting. so the first question they ask me is "why did you pick this passage?" valid question, totally have an answer prepared. so i bust it out, then am about to go into my paper when they say "so what are your extracurriculars?" i give them a blank look. "ummm... don't i have to do a presentation?" "no, this is more about you and your interests."
WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?!?!?! first of all, hendrix, you told me that i was doing a presentation. secondly, i hadn't prepared any answers about my extracurricular interests. i was on my own for this one.
so i was really awkward and bad. AWFUL. make that AWFUL. i'm not being self-deprecating, if i had been interviewing me, i would have hated myself. they asked me my position on whether minimum wage should be abolished or not. i was absent that day in class, i didnt know what i was talking about!! i completely forgot about newspaper, i repeated myself over and over, i was wishy-washy on my positions, and i committed the cardinal sin of interviews.
"so laura, why do you want to come here?"
"well, i applied to beloit because..."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! not beloit! hendrix! hendrix! i love hendrix!! hendrix forever!!
but the damage was done. honestly, who DOES that?
by the end, i was totally and completely frazzled.
"well, is there anything else you think we should know about you?"
"ummmmm................... i really like crossword puzzles."
i swear, if they give me that scholarship there's no way i'm going there, because that means i was one of the best people there. you'd have to be borderline retarded to do worse than me, seriously.
ok, so the plane trip there was pretty boring. then we arrive in little rock, get a car, and start driving to conway. on the way, we see about 17 lakes (prime breeding ground for mosquitoes, according to locals) and no less than 2398472398472 churches. i'm barely exaggerating. there were more churches than houses, leaving me to suspect that one person somehow goes to more than one church.
"where do you go to church?"
"well, my left leg goes to united methodist, my right prefers first baptist, and my left hand goes to st. mary's."
"what about your right hand?"
"oh, it's atheist."
they had the CRAZIEST town names, too. we saw signs for snowball, pocahontas, and england. we actually ventured through pickles gap (contrary to popular belief, they only make fudge. don't ask, i have absolutely no idea).
but the absolute best part of the trip there was this billboard:
for those of you who don't speak hillbilly, that translates to: did you eat? j'eet -> ja eat -> didja eat -> did you eat.
OH MY GOD. i told my dad to turn the car around, i'd seen enough. i like having all my teeth, i hate banjo, and i'm not romantically interested in any of my cousins, so i definitely wouldn't fit in. unfortunately, he dismissed my pleas and i was forced to continue.
but dude. campus was so pretty. the buildings were all super nice, the teachers were beyond cool, and the students were nice. there was even a group of them protesting for gay rights a few streets down. whoa!
so we get there and then just wander around for about three hours, then i go to dinner for students and am unbelievably, excruciatingly awkward. i end up at a table with four band kids, and they pretty much just talk about band for an hour. did you know theres more than one type of saxophone??? ME NEITHER! i tried to steer the conversation to something less lame, like, i don't know, ANYTHING, but they wouldn't have any of it. band = life for these kids.
then we went back to our hotel because i had to finish writing my presentation for the next morning. we were supposed to prepare a discussion for one of four literary works they gave us. i worked on it SO hard. it was probably about 5,000 words of pure literary genius. i was up until about 3:30, then worked on it from 8:30 to 10:30 the next morning.
so i go to the interview place and walk inside the room. i have my seven pages of notes ready and waiting. so the first question they ask me is "why did you pick this passage?" valid question, totally have an answer prepared. so i bust it out, then am about to go into my paper when they say "so what are your extracurriculars?" i give them a blank look. "ummm... don't i have to do a presentation?" "no, this is more about you and your interests."
WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?!?!?! first of all, hendrix, you told me that i was doing a presentation. secondly, i hadn't prepared any answers about my extracurricular interests. i was on my own for this one.
so i was really awkward and bad. AWFUL. make that AWFUL. i'm not being self-deprecating, if i had been interviewing me, i would have hated myself. they asked me my position on whether minimum wage should be abolished or not. i was absent that day in class, i didnt know what i was talking about!! i completely forgot about newspaper, i repeated myself over and over, i was wishy-washy on my positions, and i committed the cardinal sin of interviews.
"so laura, why do you want to come here?"
"well, i applied to beloit because..."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! not beloit! hendrix! hendrix! i love hendrix!! hendrix forever!!
but the damage was done. honestly, who DOES that?
by the end, i was totally and completely frazzled.
"well, is there anything else you think we should know about you?"
"ummmmm................... i really like crossword puzzles."
i swear, if they give me that scholarship there's no way i'm going there, because that means i was one of the best people there. you'd have to be borderline retarded to do worse than me, seriously.