House of Games (Part 1)
Title: House of Games (Part 1)
Word Count: 3,902 (7,101 total)
Genre: General
Characters/Pairings: England/America, Swtizerland. Liechtenstein
Warning: Smut this part, general insanity
Summary: Will come later
Arthur! Arthur darling~" Alfred’s sing song voice calls suddenly from behind Arthur, startling him as he sets down tea and napkins.
Arthur sighed, his meticulous planning on his tea table ruined by him spilling a drop of tea on one of the napkins. "Alfred, no need to shout so." He scolded, looking over his shoulder, frowning.
Alfred leaned over, arm wrapping (perhaps a little too tightly)around Arthur's neck (and partially shoulder). "Arthur, darling." He smiled.
Arthur's frown only deepened at that smile, his windpipe getting a little crushed by Alfred's arm. "What is it? I'm busy setting out the table," He fretted, looking away to stare unhappily at the stained napkin. It ruined everything now! And he didn't want to get another napkin because that would involve opening another packet, and keep the others getting stale overnight...!
"Did you know?" Alfred said, resting his chin on Arthur's other shoulder. "Did you know, did you know, did you know?"
"Did I know, did I know, did I know?" Arthur asked, his fingers tugging at the stained napkin and anxiously twisting it between his fingers.
Alfred turned his head to whisper in Arthur's ear. "We have guests."
Anxious fidgeting with the napkin paused, seeming to perk up. He turned his head so vivid green eyes glanced at Alfred with muted excitement. "...Guests?"
"Guests." Alfred repeated. "Such beautiful guests. A boy and a girl. Do you think they're a couple? A couple like we are, like we aren't?"
"I do hope so..." Arthur murmured, dropping the napkin untidily on the tea table. "I love couples, especially when they're beautiful." He always was a hopeless romantic with a taste for a tragedy end~ "Oh, but it's such a short time!" He suddenly began fretting again, smoothing down the rumpled napkin against the table. "I don't even have enough time to get this ready...!"
"It's stained." Alfred pointed out. "Stained and ugly like you. Are you really going to use it for our guests?"
"Of course not!" Arthur snapped. "But, the others are fresh and for tomorrow! To take one from there will make it uneven." He had such a superstition about those odd numbers. "Odd numbers it would be. Odd and demonic like you." Arthur plucked up the napkin, all twisted and rumpled up now, and gave a sigh. "But...for the guests...I suppose I could suffer through an odd number..."
"Well there are two." Alfred said. "So it won't be odd. And look, you ruined a perfectly good napkin. You should feel ashamed of yourself."
"I should, but you caused me to ruin it," Arthur moved away and flung the napkin in the fireplace with a noise of disgust. "Therefore you should be ashamed! You shouting out so loud without warning!" He was getting himself into an excitable state, and smoothed down the cuffs of his sleeves to distract him. At least his clothes are tidy and immaculate!
Alfred stuck out his tongue prancing away. "I was yelling, not shouting! There's a difference, you daft fool!"
"Do not call me a daft fool, you pleb!" Arthur gasped, sounding offended, and warded him off as one would a demon. "Such a cruel word to describe me! I reject it!"
"Nyah!" Alfred stuck out his tongue. "You stay here and fix the mess you made, and I will go greet our guests."
"Such a rude man should not greet the guests!" But Arthur was drawn to the mess he had made, and he fretted. Alfred would just make a bigger mess!! "But for now, there is no choice! Go, vile man before they think of us as unpunctual hosts!"
"Ahaha! You are the cruel one for staying here and not greeting them, you hermit!"
"I am fixing the mess! That is not cruel but a responsible host! Rude boy! Such a rude boy!"
Alfred laughed prancing off towards the entrance hall. “Mean host! Meaaaan! Mean and Ignroant host!” He called behind him as the darkness swallowed him.
"How dare he say that I am an ignorant and mean host!" Arthur squawked to himself, fussing over the tea table. "When he is such a rude boy!"
ENTRANCE
Heidi flashed light into a corner, seeing nothing. "This place looks so old and unused..."
"It has been abandoned for well over a century," Vash said, looking up at the chandelier hanging above them. It was dusty and ridden with cobwebs.
"Supposedly." Heidi also looked up at the chandelier, glad they were out from under it. It looked ready to fall any moment. "The animals could be overly ferocious, but I didn't even hear any crickets when we neared this place."
That was certainly odd. There weren't even signs of any animals taking nest in the mansion either. The silence was very...disturbing. "Maybe there's something that keeps them away," He murmured, mostly to himself.
"Like what? There's dust everywhere...." Heidi wiped dust of the banister and grimaced. Absolutely filthy.
"Oh my oh my." A voice suddenly cut into their conversation, originating from the top of the stairs. "It seems Arthur has forgotten to clean. Such an annoying man he is."
Vash looked up immediately, tensing. "Who's there?!"
Alfred smiled, looking dangerously close to falling down the stairs. "Who's there? Who's there? I should be asking you that."
Heidi tensed.
"I am the host. The other man you see, he is servant." The smile turned crooked, Alfred’s eyes gleaming as he looked them up and down.
Vash instantly got warning vibes from the other man, and he narrowed his eyes up at the blond man. He was dressed impeccably, with smart little glasses reflecting the flashlight and hiding his eyes. "The other man?"
"Yes, yes, the other man. He's quite nasty, he is." Alfred leaned forward, and it was a surprise that he hadn’t fallen down the steps yet.
"Who is he?" Heidi asked.
"Who is he? Who is he? Such rude guests, but I am a nice host!" Alfred huffed, snapping back suddenly into a straight position.
They were getting nowhere. "...What's your name?" Vash demanded of their 'nice host'.
"Nyah!" Alfred stuck out his tongue. "Guests should always introduce themselves first! It's only manners."
"Fine," Should he give his name to such a...rare character? "...I am Vash."
"Vash. Like Hash. Hashing away at things..." Alfred turned his gaze sharply to Heidi. "And you? What is your name, you pretty little thing?"
Heidi didn't bat an eye. "It's Heidi."
"Oh! Heidi! Like the mountain girl that the nasty man likes reading about!"
"Now that you know our names, will you tell us yours and...this nasty man's?" Vash asked with slight impatience.
"Of course! How rude of me! I should have introduced myself first!" Alfred bowed, head almost touching the next step before straightening back up suddenly. "I am Alfred. And the nasty man is...well, he doesn't deserve a name."
"But does he have one?"
"...Yes." Alfred grumbled. "But I hate it. It's a terrible name, just like he is."
"What is it?" Vash demanded, getting irritated. Alfred seemed quite...unbalanced, but was now a major source of information about the mansion and the disappearances. Hell, he may even be one of the causes for the disappearances (he was putting money on it.)
"I don't ever call him by his name." Alfred said. "I shall not tell you. You can refer to him as hermit though."
"Hermit?" Heidi raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, because that's what he is. Never goes out and looks for guests, it's always me..."
"You...lure people here?"
"Lure?” Alfred scoffed. “Oh no, we don't lure, we invite. There is a difference, silly Hash."
Vash frowned at the mangling of his name, but it let it pass with a glare. "Invite them for what? Tea?"
"A dinner. A party. Anything."
"And...what happens to the guests afterwards?" Heidi pressed.
"Oh, they all fall asleep..."
THe statement sounded ominous, and Vash didn't need to think on why. "...Then what do you do to the guests?"
"We play games..."
"While they're asleeo?"
"Sometimes...You should....have a dinner with us!" Alfred suggested, beaming brightly as if this had been his best idea yet. "Then you'd know!"
"Maybe...some other time," Vash said, not really wanting to 'fall asleep' afterwards (drugged? beaten unconscious? outright killed? who knew what their version of 'fell asleep' entailed).
"What?" The cheerful demeanor was suddenly lost, becoming cold and almost angry. Heidi pricked in alarm.
Vash noted the change in demeanor, and tensed a little. "We have other plans," He lied freely, "We can't stay long enough to have dinner."
“What plans?” Alfred growled, stomping his foot and throwing a tantrum similar to a child’s. “They’re not as important as games and dinner!”
"Just plans," Vash said slowly. "And we don't take food from strangers anyway." Stranger danger and what have you.
Alfred’s eyes narrowed. “....No. No you don’t. Not anymore.”
Vash frowned. "What?"
Alfred suddenly lightened. “Yes, that’s right. Your plans, you don’t have them anymore. Your plans are to dine with me and the man tonight. Afterwards, we can play games!”
Heidi came to the conclusion that this man was...off his rocker.
Vash was thinking the same thing. "And you just...decided this for us?"
Alfred smiled. “No, no, you already had it planned, see? That’s why it’s called planning ahead. Don’t be so alarmed!
"...Right." Nutter.
Alfred flounced down the stairs, whisking both of them by their wrists. “Arthur will be delighted!”
"Arthur?" Vash questioned, frowning at having his wrist grabbed. He tugged on it slightly, but Alfred had it in an iron grip.
Alfred froze, looking shocked that he had slipped up. “He is...He is no one. No one important. ”
"Right..." Arthur was possible the hermit.
Heidi squirmed a bit, feeling uncomfortable, but Alfred started tugging them up the stairs. “Come on, dinner is this way. You don’t want to miss it, the Hermit gets very angry.”
Vash exchanged looks with Heidi. Well then, this was unexpected.
Alfred guided them into a hallway. “’See the light? The light, the light? That’s where dinner is at!”
Vash just agreed with him, deciding the old just smile and nod at the crazy tactic was probably best here until he could find a way to bugger off away from the obvious nutter.
Alfred slammed the door roughly, the doorknob going through the wall as it banged open. “ARTHUR!”
"Ah!?" Thankfully, Arthur had not had tea or anything in hand, so nothing was stained. He fluttered away from the table, everything already laid out, and whirled round to frown at Alfred, green eyes blazing. "You rude boy! I told you not to shout! And you should knock-!" He stopped suddenly mid sentence, spotting the guests. "Oh! Oh! Are these our guests?"
“Yes.” Alfred trilled, moving away from the two. “The guests, the guests, they’re darling, yes?”
"Quite, very much so," Arthur murmured, excited and fully inspecting them. Vash shifted at the scrutiny. "Such a wonderful, beautiful pair..."
Heidi felt her skin prickle as emerald eyes swept up and down her body, her eyes shifting to the...black lumps set out.
Alfred also noticed. “You cooked again. I told you not to, you always chase them away with your horrendous cooking.”
Arthur 'tsk'd and sighed at Alfred, "You left everything to me, before you fled from your responsibilities in helping me! Rude, irresponsible boy." Arthur scolded, bristling a little. "I had no choice but to cook, otherwise there'd be nothing!"
“You liar!” Alfred spat. “I had it all set out, you were in charge of setting down plates! You just replaced it, I know you did! AT least my cake is still there...”
Heidi, however, did not look impressed by the lumpy blue cake that sat like a prize in the middle of the table.
Vash decided that the guests were just simply poisoned, rather than out of anything sinister.
"It is a horrible cake. Terrible..." Arthur crooned, circling the table. "It makes my dishes look good in comparison." He smiled sweetly at Alfred.
Alfred looked ready to lunge. “At least it’s edible. And safe to eat.”
Heidi grasped her brother’s hand lightly. These people were frightening...
"Oh, oh, you rude little boy." Arthur suddenly scolded. "You're making such a scene in front of our guests!"
Alfred stiffened, blinking rapidly. “You’re right...” He turned back to the two. “My apologies. I was distracted. Yes, yes, we’ll just skip the meal and have coffee!”
"Tea." Arthur corrected.
"Coffee."
"Serving bitter mud to the guests is a rude thing to do," Arthur scolded. "Tea is the best thing to serve."
"Who wants weak tasting water?" Alfred shot back. "Coffee is strong and for people like them."
"Perhaps we should ask the guests what they want," Arthur bristled, gesturing at Heidi and Vash. "That's the polite option."
Alfred pouted, muttering under his breath, "Who cares what they want?"
"I'll....take coffee..." Heidi mumbled, not sure if 'Arthur' would be angry enough to attack or not.
Arthur visibly drooped at Heidi's choice, nervously tugging at his shirt's cuff. "Oh...why did the guest have to have such a foul choice in drinks?" He despaired to himself, and turned to Vash. "You? You'll have horrible muddy coffee too?!"
Vash, not really wanting this 'Arthur' to descend into hysteria (which he seemed prepared to do at any second) said slowly, "I'll have some tea..."
Alfred bristled, glaring at Vash, before redirecting it at Arthur. Things like this were always his fault.
Arthur cheered up immediately, ignoring the glare from Alfred. "Ah! Great taste, guest! Great, great taste...oh. I don't believe I caught your names..."
"Cash." Alfred said abruptly. "And his sister Heidi."
"Vash," Vash corrected.
"Hash." Alfred insisted.
Arthur smiled. "Smash...crash...bash...a violent name~" He crooned.
Vash frowned. They were both fucking insane.
"All for Cash." Alfred chimed in. "AT least last time I was in town. Now, now, you two be good and stay here while we fix the drinks!"
"No wandering about," Arthur chimed in absently, smoothing his wrinkled cuff.
Alfred drifted off to another room. "Yes, you wouldn't want to miss playing the games."
Vash waited until they had vanished off to make these 'drinks', and gave Heidi a look. "They're both completely deranged." He said, not caring he was saying something obvious.
"I know." Heidi nodded, taking one of the rickety old seats and finding it well cushioned. "But they're not stupid....IT's hard to understand why they haven't killed each other yet."
"Insanity doesn't follow logical reasoning," Vash muttered, sitting down as well. It creaked a little. "And it's obvious that they know something about the disappearances...or are the cause of them."
Heidi fidgeted. "How long have they been here, do you suppose? I mean, even the table looks dusty, but the dishes and candles are freshly set...."
"Dusty?" Alfred's voice sounded out again, the man having caught word of what they’d been saying. "Oh, you evil man, you terrible man, you haven't been cleaning! The entrance was dusty too, that probably didn't leave a good impression! IT's your fault!"
"I was far too busy to clean!" Arthur's upset voice replied, "To prepare and set for new guests and tea parties, it takes time! It's your fault you lazy, rude boy!"
"I think they've been here for far too long," Vash sighed as they heard the insane pair bicker, wiping a finger through the dust and leaving a clean streak of brown.
Heidi nodded. "Most certainly."
"I don't have time to clean! I have to make sure the Game room is ready to play in!" Alfred snapped. "You're in charge of everything else, you daft old man!"
Game room? Heidi perked up a bit again.
"Cruel insult!" Arthur gasped. "You fool, you mouthy little brat!" There was the chinkle of china breaking "I am not the slave of this house, where I cook and clean and prepare everything by myself while you just play!"
Alfred laughed. "Look, servant! You made another mess!" And then his voice suddenly hardened. "You know I won the last game. That means I'm in charge."
"Not for long," Arthur spat, and there was more sounds. "Oh, dear...you're right, there is such a mess...you fool. You made me do this."
Alfred sniffed. "It's still your fault. You have to clean it up. Artiieeee."
"Don't call me Artie." Arthur hissed.
"Iggy, then."
"No! My name is Arthur! Not Artie or Iggy! Arthur, Arthur, Arthur!" There was a whacking sound and a grunt, and for a moment silence reigned. Heidi and Vash fidgeted in their seats, wondering what had happened.
A sniffle, then a wail. "Artieee! You're so mean! Why did you hit me? Uuuaaaah!"
"Because you deserve it, you idiot! And it's Arthur!"
Sobs. Alfred burst through the door only to whip around the table and hide behind Vash. "Meanie!" He shouted childishly. "Meanie meanie!" His lower lip was stuck out in a pout.
"This is why I call you a boy," Arthur raged into the room, "So childish and immature!"
Vash found himself caught between the two as they argued, finding his position uncomforting
Alfred wailed again, and Heidi had to cover her ears.
"M'not! M'not! You're just too strict and nasty! And-and-I hate you!" Alfred places his hands over his head, in case another blow should come.
"You are! You are! You hateful little rude boy! You child! I hate you too!"
Alfred dissolved into tears at this, shuffling over to the corner with his back to them all. He drew his knees who his chest, bawling loudly.
Arthur scolded Alfred loudly, before fretting over Vash and Heidi. "I'm so sorry, so sorry for the disturbance. Alfred is just having a small little tantrum." He cried over the wails.
Finally Alfred quieted down, but refused to come out of his corner.
Heidi shifted nervously, wondering if she should mention the tea and coffee.
Arthur looked frazzled, and after scowling at Alfred's curled up form in the corner, he turned to his guest, smiling shakily. "Drinks?" He reminded himself, and bustled back off. He left Alfred alone with them to wallow in his misery.
Heidi looked at Vash. "Should we....do something about him?"
"Like what?"
"Well, he looks kind of sad..."
"I'm not sure how you can comfort him, he seems quite bipolar. Both of them do..."
"WE can try." Heidi turned to Alfred. "Sir, are you okay?"
"No." Alfred sniffled. "Arthur goes and says mean things like that...it huuuurts!"
Vash sighed, "Then why do you live with him if he keeps saying hurtful things?"
Alfred shrugged. "I have to. There's no other place to go." He was being surprisingly saner than before. "And I can't leave, he'll just hunt me down again."
"Hunt you down?"
"That's right. I tried to run once He set the dog on me. The dog always finds things. And then I was brought back. It hurt."
Vash was a little disturbed. "But why would Arthur want you back, he seems quite happy if you fled."
Alfred shook his head. "He's very possessive. Not many people leave, he never lets them leave...He's so greedy...I try to stop him, but...It never works."
"Never leave?" Heidi echoed.
"That's right."
Vash was about to question him more about that, but Arthur came bustling back, holding a silver tray with a pot of coffee and a teapot. "Oh, oh, you rude boy," He scolded Alfred, setting the tray down on the table. "Have you been saying filthy lies to our guests while I was gone? He does that a lot. Lie, lie, lie." He said to Heidi and Vash.
"I don't lie!" Alfred snapped. "IT's the truth, you're too senile to realize it! You greedy little bastard!"
Arthur tutted at Alfred, gliding around the table to stand before Alfred curled up in the corner. "Naughty little boy. Such cruel name calling," Green eyes narrowed, "Little shit, get out of the corner, we have to entertain guests."
For a moment it seemed Alfred would submit, but he turned around with warning and bit down on Arthur's knee, snarling.
Arthur yelped, and kicked Alfred away, stepping back to rub his injured knee. "Ohhhhhhhhhhh...you beast!"
Vash could only stare at the odd sight. There...were no words.
Heidi inched her chair closer to Vash's, only half paying attention as she reached for his hand to grasp for reassurance.
Alfred stuck out his tongue. "It serves you right!"
"No better than an untamed mongrel!" Arthur snapped, straightening up. "I should neuter you, perhaps that would calm you down, rude boy."
Alfred puffed out his chest, standing up. "Do your worst, Artie!" Making sure he was out of range of being kicked as he said this.
"It's Arthur," Arthur snarled, but then paused and turned away. "But no fighting. We have guests. It's so rude to squabble in front of them."
Alfed slipped back into his previous state, smiling peacefully. "Of course! I completely forgot." He placed the coffee cup in front of Heidi. "Drink up, now."
Vash accepted the cup of tea a smiling Arthur placed before him, eyeing it suspiciously. It smelt fine, but there are many drugs that have no scent...
Heidi gave a dainty sniff of the coffee, before taking a tentative sip. IT wasn't half bad..."Where do you get your ingredients?" Heidi questioned.
"I get them from my friends..." Arthur answered happily, "They're ever so generous, and give me such wonderful ingredients."
"Who are...your friends?"
Alfred snickered. "The fairies, he says. Always the fairies that don't exist!"
Arthur whirled upon Alfred. "They do! They do exist!"
Vash raised an eyebrow. "...Fairies?"
Alfred shook his head. "The fairies! But everyone knows they don't exist, they're just his imaginary friends."
"They are not imaginary! They are real!" Arthur seemed very upset, and fussed with his shirt cuff. "They don't like it when you deny their existence, my only real friends..."
Vash added schizophrenic next to Bipolar on Arthur's list of mental illnesses
Alfred scoffed, rolling his eyes. "So I don't count, then?"
Arthur scowled at Alfred, "You're no friend, you evil little boy. So cruel to me, you are. More of an...housemate. Like a cat. Or a mouse. A pest."
Alfred looked put out. "Fine! I'll leave again and then we'll see how you do!"
"You always say that you'd leave, but you always end up back here." Arthur sighed in exasperation.
Vash watched the exchange, mindlessly taking a sip of tea. Hmmm, nice...with an odd aftertaste to it...
"I didn't that one time..."
Heidi finished off her coffee, setting the cup delicately back down. What a strange taste...
Vash had finished most of his tea, and he was still puzzling over the taste. He couldn't pinpoint it, slightly cinnamony but also tasted like syrup... How strange...
"Did you like your drinks?" Arthur asked politely, smiling at the guests.
"Of course they did." Alfred said. "They always like your drinks..."
"It was very pleasant," Vash answered, settling the cup down. He frowned, however, when he started to feel a little...weird. He shook the feeling off.
Arthur's smile widened, "Thank you."
Heidi blinked. Was the room...moving?
Alfred smiled, wrapping his arms around Arthur loosely. "See? I told you they would..."
Arthur just chuckled, and Vash realised what had happened when the whole room lurched, and he started to feel light headed. "D-Drugged...?"
"Drugged is such a horrible word..." Arthur smiled at Vash, seeing his pupils beginning to dilate. "I just put a bit of...magic in the drinks."
"Ohhh, it's okay." Alfred soothed. "We can play the games after you two wake up!"
Heidi grunted, slipping out of her seat and hitting the floor with a solid thud. Things flashed across her vision and she felt herself slipping further and further away.
Vash turned his head, the world seemingly have slowed down. He attempted to struggle out of his seat, "H-Heidi...!" He gasped, before his knees buckled and he hit the floor too, groaning as his eyes closed, world swirling.
Alfred turned his face inwards, nuzzling Arthur. "Now that they're out...can we...?"
Arthur was pleased, and crooned softly, "Yes, we can..."