my heart is a protest that i let rally against my ribs
wish i were a guy so i could say this to a girl, though of course if i were that way inclined i could do just that! i suppose! i really like this, i guess it's not among the best love poems out there but its honesty, sincerity, how human it is - i just like it very much.
Apology
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I keep saying that I'm sorry.
I know it's strange, strange in a "George W. Bush hasn't been assassinated yet" kind of way,
but I say I'm sorry for stupid shit and trivial things. And she sings the sweet logic that
"apologies should grow like trees only able to bear fruit if its root is planted in the soil of genuine sincerity".
But I somehow manage to parody each apology by speaking it before I react and the fact is
I'm not really sorry that I completely dig Degrassi. Because it was Yik and Arthur
that got me through wet dreams and puberty. Lady, I don't expect you to understand the reference
but I've been into this shit ever since the casting director said
"fuck physicality, give me some reality, give me kids who can’t act and are ugly,
they'll teach the world about beauty." Lady, I can relate to this because
before I met you I used to want to lock myself into a vault just to feel precious
but now with every kiss hello and goodbye I feel a self-worth no banker could tally.
And my heart is a protest that I let rally against my ribs because I want to build my bones into cribs
and lay my reluctance to rest; test what it would be like to live frenetically,
to hold you unapologetically, to plant a giving tree on my front lawn so that when you're gone
it can give you back to me. And I'm sorry that when you sleep next to me you're forced
to listen to the symphony of the unplugged nostril and I'm sorry that for one time for some reason
I called you ma'am, that's fucked up. Fucked up in an
"I just bought a pair of Speedos so I could go swimming with you"
kind of way. And crazier than that is the fact that I will play at being brave
because doubt is about as useful as a fire escape when you are trying to dodge a tidal wave.
When you've got no time to save anyone but yourself you better believe
you're worth it and you are worth the time it takes to take the time to get to know you.
We've managed to muddle through the awkward stages of "I like you" and "do you like me"
and when we both said yes life became a multiple choice test; not knowing anything,
we became each others best guess. And holding your hand is less like exploration and more like discovery.
Lady, I don't have to study you to be sure you were the choice I made before
I knew what the other choices were.
And like the best idea I'll ever have I want you to occur to me daily.
And I'm sorry but I want to kiss you every time you have something incredible to say
but you're beautiful, beautiful in a "you" kind of way. You're like the long lost vinyl of Louis Armstrong
and I want to play you and play you until it skips.
I want to tell you a secret and I want you to listen with your lips.
I want my hands on your hips like they are on their final resting place and put that
funeral onto paper so you can trace their life time back to the fact that I'm more inclined
to find a space in your heart to haunt for as long as you want me too.
Lady, I'll rattle chains up and down the halls of you. And this
isn't the greatest romance of the world has ever seen.
Let's face it we've been making out to songs about break up and heart ache
but I've come to realize that romance should be less like a flower and more like an earthquake.
And I'm not saying I want to shake cities to the ground.
I'm not saying I want the rubble that remains to become a lost and found where we find
the kind of tolerance it takes to rebuild in the face of tragedy.
Because I'm tired of living in a world that says people only come together when faced with catastrophe.
I want you, to want me, to be the me you see when I'm free to be the me that got me next to you.
And as for romance? Well, I want that too.
I want to fall asleep next to you, 100 times a night,
so I can know you 100 times better before we hit the day light. And despite all of this,
I also want amnesia so I can relive each kiss with a perfect newness
that leaves me smashed in the arms of rapture. I want the sky to fracture under
the impossible weight of an apology because I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I want so much.
I'm sorry that I'm using "I'm sorry" as a crutch to lean on for so long
but if you sing me that song of sweet logic again then I promise to make the effort
to stand on my own. There is a reason that our hearts are more like a muscle
and less like a bone. I've known so many people who've have grown up flexing
in front of mirrors and falling for their own reflection as if that's adequate but that's bullshit.
Because we only get now until the time we go and if they've only got time to love themselves
then nobody is going to be around to hear the sound of their heartbeat echo.
So lady, don't expect an apology when I tell you I'm only held together
by a heart that pumps blue, it's the strongest muscle in my body and I'm flexing it for you.
Shane Koyczan
(as it is spoken!)
Apology
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I keep saying that I'm sorry.
I know it's strange, strange in a "George W. Bush hasn't been assassinated yet" kind of way,
but I say I'm sorry for stupid shit and trivial things. And she sings the sweet logic that
"apologies should grow like trees only able to bear fruit if its root is planted in the soil of genuine sincerity".
But I somehow manage to parody each apology by speaking it before I react and the fact is
I'm not really sorry that I completely dig Degrassi. Because it was Yik and Arthur
that got me through wet dreams and puberty. Lady, I don't expect you to understand the reference
but I've been into this shit ever since the casting director said
"fuck physicality, give me some reality, give me kids who can’t act and are ugly,
they'll teach the world about beauty." Lady, I can relate to this because
before I met you I used to want to lock myself into a vault just to feel precious
but now with every kiss hello and goodbye I feel a self-worth no banker could tally.
And my heart is a protest that I let rally against my ribs because I want to build my bones into cribs
and lay my reluctance to rest; test what it would be like to live frenetically,
to hold you unapologetically, to plant a giving tree on my front lawn so that when you're gone
it can give you back to me. And I'm sorry that when you sleep next to me you're forced
to listen to the symphony of the unplugged nostril and I'm sorry that for one time for some reason
I called you ma'am, that's fucked up. Fucked up in an
"I just bought a pair of Speedos so I could go swimming with you"
kind of way. And crazier than that is the fact that I will play at being brave
because doubt is about as useful as a fire escape when you are trying to dodge a tidal wave.
When you've got no time to save anyone but yourself you better believe
you're worth it and you are worth the time it takes to take the time to get to know you.
We've managed to muddle through the awkward stages of "I like you" and "do you like me"
and when we both said yes life became a multiple choice test; not knowing anything,
we became each others best guess. And holding your hand is less like exploration and more like discovery.
Lady, I don't have to study you to be sure you were the choice I made before
I knew what the other choices were.
And like the best idea I'll ever have I want you to occur to me daily.
And I'm sorry but I want to kiss you every time you have something incredible to say
but you're beautiful, beautiful in a "you" kind of way. You're like the long lost vinyl of Louis Armstrong
and I want to play you and play you until it skips.
I want to tell you a secret and I want you to listen with your lips.
I want my hands on your hips like they are on their final resting place and put that
funeral onto paper so you can trace their life time back to the fact that I'm more inclined
to find a space in your heart to haunt for as long as you want me too.
Lady, I'll rattle chains up and down the halls of you. And this
isn't the greatest romance of the world has ever seen.
Let's face it we've been making out to songs about break up and heart ache
but I've come to realize that romance should be less like a flower and more like an earthquake.
And I'm not saying I want to shake cities to the ground.
I'm not saying I want the rubble that remains to become a lost and found where we find
the kind of tolerance it takes to rebuild in the face of tragedy.
Because I'm tired of living in a world that says people only come together when faced with catastrophe.
I want you, to want me, to be the me you see when I'm free to be the me that got me next to you.
And as for romance? Well, I want that too.
I want to fall asleep next to you, 100 times a night,
so I can know you 100 times better before we hit the day light. And despite all of this,
I also want amnesia so I can relive each kiss with a perfect newness
that leaves me smashed in the arms of rapture. I want the sky to fracture under
the impossible weight of an apology because I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I want so much.
I'm sorry that I'm using "I'm sorry" as a crutch to lean on for so long
but if you sing me that song of sweet logic again then I promise to make the effort
to stand on my own. There is a reason that our hearts are more like a muscle
and less like a bone. I've known so many people who've have grown up flexing
in front of mirrors and falling for their own reflection as if that's adequate but that's bullshit.
Because we only get now until the time we go and if they've only got time to love themselves
then nobody is going to be around to hear the sound of their heartbeat echo.
So lady, don't expect an apology when I tell you I'm only held together
by a heart that pumps blue, it's the strongest muscle in my body and I'm flexing it for you.
Shane Koyczan
(as it is spoken!)