Fic: "Back to Earth" (5/8)
Title: Back to Earth
Pairings: Helo/Gaeta, Helo/Sharon. Can be read with the occasional Gaeta/Baltar undertones.
Genre: It's a gen story overall but with some slash and het b-plot. So it's kind of a gen hybrid.
Rating: PG-13 for some sex, PTSD, bad language in the face of danger and, ya know, people killing robots.
Characters: Gaeta, Helo and Athena (minor characters are Anders, Dualla, Zarek and Hot Dog as well as some Eights and Sixes)
Spoilers: all the way up to 4.10
Beta: done by ebuchala. Thanks a lot!
Summary: The Cylons find the fleet just when all high-ranking personnel is off ship. Galactica's b-team has to execute a rescue mission but Gaeta is depressed, Helo feels guilty, something's going on with Sharon, and everybody knows the plan is suicide anyway.
Chapter summary: Helo wants to do right but it doesn’t happen like that.
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4
“You want me to do what with a virus in a network?” Sam asked warily.
The pilot didn’t know what he had expected when Costanza had told him to report to the Old Man’s office. Truth was that the last weeks had been madness, and he’d reached a point where he just reacted to things happening around him, refusing to think about them at all. Bad enough that he seemed to be a Cylon. Bad enough his wife had stopped talking to him and was now missing in action, possibly dead. He was still allowed to fly but he hadn’t fooled himself into believing that anything had been resolved.
It had entered Sam’s mind on his way here that Karl might want to talk to him to warn him about trying anything funny in the attack, although felt the fear was absurd, considering the man was married to a Cylon. Had been best man at Sam’s wedding, no less.
Instead, he had been greeted by Karl and Sharon, who seemed to keep Gaeta and the couch between them for some reason, looking more military than ever while telling him quite calmly to execute a crazy plan. And it didn’t help that he had to keep himself from flinching whenever Gaeta addressed him.
Right now, the watch officer was glancing up at him as if Sam didn’t even register as a person. “We have Lt. Agathon to fly to one of the basestars and open a way through the firewalls for us,” he repeated, “but Galactica isn’t equipped to transmit the virus unless a Cylon acts as a joint connection. If you are successful, the virus will block the Cylons’ navigation and weapon system, allowing us to shoot them down.”
“Okay,” he said because he really got the specifics, as hard to believe as that might be, but they just weren’t the point. “Couldn’t one of the other Cylons do that? Somebody with... experience?” Sam hadn’t even owned a personal computer console for most of his life. He’d never been the type.
“There are various reasons why it has to be one the Final Five Cylons who...” Gaeta said but was interrupted by Sharon, eyes trained on Sam.
“We’re sure you can handle it, Sam.”
“Uhm, that’s great.” Had they all gone mad? “What about Tory?”
“Tory Foster isn’t military,” Helo said as if it was self-explanatory.
Sam failed to come up with words. He truly didn’t know what to say. It was good, really good and reassuring to learn that Helo and Sharon weren’t about to throw him into the brig. But they couldn’t expect him to do it. It wasn’t that Sam was a coward, he’d fought in two resistance movements after all. But in those circumstances he’d had an inkling of how to do it, at least from watching movies. Cylon networks were a mystery to him. He was positive he’d never used the words “computer code” before in his life.
He wouldn’t deny that he’d been curious, intensely curious when he boarded the Cylon basestar some weeks ago. But he hadn’t tried anything. And he had a feeling that his communication with the Cylon raider in that one battle had been a matter of the raider recognizing him, nothing to do with anything he’d done.
“I don’t know how to transmit a Cylon virus,” he eventually said. “I’ve never... linked with a computer in my life, guys. It didn’t come with a manual.”
“Shame,” Gaeta muttered wistfully and Sam shot him an irritated look. What was wrong with that guy? Couldn’t he start acting like Sam had shot him already?
“Listen, Sam,” Sharon said. “I’ll give you some pointers before launch but you’ll find that it comes naturally. I’ll make sure the firewalls are down, so you’ll get through easily. You might come up against somebody in the network, a One probably and they’re sneaky but they won’t know what to expect from you. You’ll do fine.”
Helplessly, Sam opened and closed his mouth. As everybody on Galactica, he’d been nervous about what exactly they were going to do to win the upcoming battle. If this was their brilliant plan... if he was their brilliant plan, they were all frakking screwed.
In the corner of his eye, he saw Karl cross his arms in front of his chest. Karl had started carrying himself a bit straighter in the last days, Sam noticed with distraction. All three of them had. Remembering his time as a resistance leader, he knew it had to do with being responsible. Adama called it rolling hard sixes.
“Listen up, Sam,” Karl said. “We appreciate your concern but fact is, this has to be done by you. We can’t force you to do it. I frankly wouldn’t know how. But if you’re on our side in this, it’s an order and it’s not up for discussion. We know the risks as well as you do and I need an answer now. It’s the only chance we have to get our people back. Including Starbuck.”
Yeah, his wife who couldn’t deal with a Cylon husband. Of course Sam didn’t want anything to happen to Kara but he knew that wasn’t what Karl was saying, and he started feeling a bit dizzy. While a lot of pilots had made clear what they thought about a Cylon being a pilot, this wasn’t the same Galactica anymore where Cylons were thrown into the brig and shot. But fact was he was a Cylon and that meant he had to prove at some point he was still on the right side. The trust was gone. Tory had refused to prove her loyality like that when she moved to the basestar, fleeing the fleet and Laura Roslin. Some days, Sam understood why she’d left.
Now, they’d judged the risks for him, military style, and they expected their mad plan to work because if it didn’t, Kara and all the others were dead. A plan that relied on Sam Anders, professional athlete to figure out how to transmit a virus so to stop a Cylon fleet, on the fly and by instinct.
“I’ll do my best,” he said, not quite trusting his voice.
The tension left Karl’s face. “I know you will.”
There was saluting then, making matters even more surreal. Sam was crappy at saluting. Still feeling overwhelmed, he tried to acknowledge Gaeta with a nod on his way out but the man still treated him like air. Maybe he should be thankful for that. Sam had enough to think about.
Later that shift, Helo found the time to accompany Sharon to the landing deck. She was scheduled to jump back to Earth and sneak a look at the enemy’s strength, using Earth’s only moon for cover. It wasn’t too risky to do so; they had procedures still in place from similar operations in the days of New Caprica. Silence stretched uncomfortably between them. Helo was almost glad to see Skulls already waiting at the raptor, talking to Figurski.
“I’ll go back to working the pilots with Hot Dog when I’m back,” Sharon said when they reached the raider, busy putting her gloves on. “I’ll make him go through another practice drill at least, sort out the trouble with the nuggets. He’s suggested we shouldn’t take the ones who still don’t get it this time, no matter that we need the manpower. I agree. They’d get us all killed.”
“Sure,” Helo agreed curtly, handing her the helmet. “You know I trust your judgment.”
“Still better if two look at it instead of one.” Through the helmet she was fastening up, her voice sounded hollow. “Anyway, one step at a time. You ready, Skulls?”
“I’m ready,” Skulls said cheerfully. “I’ve prepared all my life to spy on Cylon fleets. Long lasting childhood dream.”
Sharon turned back to Helo. “Anything else?”
Pressing his lips into a firm line, Helo just waited. He knew it wasn’t the right place or time to talk anything out but he’d be damned if he made another useless concession, just to be brushed off. The ball had been in Sharon’s court for quite some time.
After a moment of waiting, Sharon shot him a dark look, turning around without another word to climb into the raptor.
“Trouble in paradise, huh?” Figurski said good-naturedly when the hatch closed, engines heating up. They could see Sharon at the controls, her eyes on the screens while going through the pre-flight check with Skulls.
Helo shot Figurski an annoyed look but the temporary Chief just chuckled, strolling away as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Athena’s raptor just jumped away, sir,” Hoshi reported with a fleeting look up at the Dradis screens. “Recon mission is a go.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hoshi,” Dee answered formally, accepting the midwatch report from Myers with a nod and giving it a cursory look. Things had been quiet since they’d jumped away from Earth, all things considered. They were changing positions every twelve hours, calm and steady as clockwork, no sign of the Cylons whatsoever. Everybody tackled the extra duty with the stoicism Tigh and Felix had pounded into them years ago.
“Colonial One is asking for permission to dock for refueling, sir,” Myers remarked, looking her a question. “Vice President Zarek wants to come on board for a situation update. Again.”
“Big surprise,” Hoshi muttered dryly, and Dee had to work to keep her lips from twitching.
“Granted.”
Face equally schooled, Myers passed it on.
The situation wasn’t half bad, Dee judged, overseeing the calm activity around her, still used to the job from her time on Pegasus. Everybody had been shocked when they’d lost Admiral Adama but they’d gone back to doing their jobs fast. Many people on Galactica trusted Helo by now, he was popular and a bit of a hero, and people in the CIC trusted Felix, knowing he’d always been the man who made it all work despite Tigh. And Athena... Athena was wisely doing a lot of executive work, staying away from the public eye.
“Sir,” Myers said after closing the channel. “Should I send the CAG to greet the President?”
“No,” Dee answered after a moment of thinking. “I’ll go myself.” She passed the clipboard on to Hoshi. “The CIC is yours, Mr. Hoshi.” Giving the unmoving fleet on Dradis a last look, she strode out of the CIC. They’d always found someone appropriate to deal with Zarek to date but Helo was busy and they’d agreed not to distract Felix if they didn’t have to. There was no one but her to do it except Hot Dog. Sending a communications officer was a bit of an insult, of course. A CAG was much more prestigious. Felix had given her endless lectures on that kind of protocol back in the day.
Dee hardened her face when she thought of Felix. She still didn’t know how she could make up with him. She knew why he was angry, and rightfully so, having waited for her to show up in sickbay. But she’d been so shocked, and they’d had such a hard time after New Caprica, she had thought she’d better leave it to his other friends, prompting Alghee to check on him when nobody could tell her how he was. When she realized her mistake, Felix had suddenly been back on the duty roaster. She shouldn’t be surprised that he wouldn’t even talk to her anymore.
At this point however, she had to do her bit in Felix’ job so he could catch some sleep, heading down to the docking area. Felix had also always told her she should enjoy her work more, and Dee looked forward to insulting Tom Zarek just by being the one to greet him.
Helo had been on his way to check in on the CIC but two corridors away from it he paused, muttering a curse and heading towards the family quarters instead. He couldn’t do it like this. He couldn’t calm the fleet. He couldn’t deal with the press. He didn’t know how to mend his frakking marriage.
The only thing he could try to save right now was his friendship with Gaeta, so he’d better get started. Screw the CIC. It was overdue that somebody made Gaeta their priority for a change, even if he’d probably missed his chance already. He could try. He owed him that much.
“Come on in,” he heard Gaeta’s voice from within the room and Helo opened the hatch, stepping into the room, glad he hadn’t misjudged and woken his XO up. Gaeta hadn’t gone back to sleep though. Dressed in sweatpants and tank top, he was awkwardly holding onto a board getting up from his rack, where he seemed to have sat reading through a print-out.
“Here, let me help you,” Helo said without thinking, offering a hand. Gaeta shot him an unreadable look but accepted with a “Thank you, sir,” reaching for Helo’s shoulder so he could get up to put away the paper, straightening the sheets before dropping back down.
“I guess you’re here to talk about the CIC duty roaster,” Gaeta said, shifting away from Helo with an uneasy look. “I talked to Hoshi about that and we actually found a way to fully man all action st...”
“No, wait,” Helo interrupted him. Not sure how to go about this at all, he took a step toward the desk chair, then paused, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sure the changes are fine.” Gaeta shot him another one of those closed looks and Helo hurried to continue, all of it pouring out in a rush. “Listen, Felix, I know you’re angry with me. The Gods know I can’t blame you. I don’t know if I can make up for it, I wouldn’t know how but I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for what happened.”
Gaeta just looked at him, unblinking, looking awfully young out of uniform with his curls sticking up. Helo took a breath to tone it down.
“The Demetrius debacle was my fault, I know that. I had to make a call and looking back I’m not sure it was the right one. All of it was a mistake.” Bitterly, he thought back to the wasteland they had found on Earth, ruins sinking into mud and gray skies stretching as far as you could see. And now it had swallowed some of their crew, too. “I should have been the one to get shot.”
Helo paused, hesitating. For a long moment, Gaeta just sat there, no expression on his face whatsoever.
“Yes,” he said eventually. “You should have been.”
“You have no idea how sorry I am.”
Gaeta frowned. “You know, I could say the same thing, sir.” Looking around, he grabbed the wall and stood up again, carefully balancing towards his crutches. “I’m sure you’re very sincere and crushed over what happened.” His voice took on an edge, “but since nothing can be changed about it now, I don’t see why we have to discuss it. So if you’d excuse me, as I’ll have to be on watch in an hour, I have to take a shower.” Smooth, Helo judged. Very smooth.
Automatically, he stepped back to allow Gaeta access to his crutches, trying to think up another way to do this. This didn’t qualify as talking obviously. Felix didn’t even sound like he cared. In fact, he sounded like he was beyond caring, as if he thought nothing could be saved. Or maybe he thought that there hadn’t been anything worth saving in the first place. It worried Helo on multiple levels. He’d seen enough people losing hope for lesser reasons.
Helo actually remembered how he’d first met Gaeta, a year or so before the war. He’d been assigned to Gaeta as ECO on a raptor rotation. Asking around, he’d learned that Lt. Felix Gaeta would be the name belonging to the new voice calling reveille. He’d been surprised to find a ridiculously young lad going through the pre-flight check, so painfully shy that he’d blushed whenever he noticed Helo watching him. It had been cute and flattering, since Gaeta sure didn’t blush when he talked to Starbuck or the CAG.
But they were all beyond blushing these days, and when Gaeta stopped at his locker to get a towel, then went through the complicated looking process of arranging his crutches again, he didn’t even look at Helo. It appeared that he was trying not to squirm when he noticed Helo’s eyes on him. It was hard to stomach.
Frak.
“Felix,” Helo said, reaching for Gaeta’s arm when the other man tried to pass by him. “Please. Talk to me. I promise I’ll do anything to make up for this if there’s a way.”
Gaeta looked up at him, anger in his eyes now, his biceps feeling tense and restrained under Helo’s palm. “Anything,” he said faintly but didn’t retreat.
“Of course.” Searching Gaeta’s face, Helo tried to figure out what he’d said wrong.
“Well,” Gaeta said. “Okay.” He paused, raising his chin slightly. “How about this then...” Grabbing Helo’s shoulder, Gaeta pulled him closer with surprising strength, drawing his head down into a kiss. The crutches clattered to the ground, and Gaeta swayed but didn’t let go.
At first, Helo was frankly too surprised to react. He knew of course that Gaeta was gay but this, he still hadn’t seen coming. He would have supposed that all things sexual were the last thing on Gaeta’s mind, considering his situation.
Then again, all of Galactica had proven to be pretty damn bad at figuring out what Felix Gaeta needed and it was a rare event that he was desperate enough to express it, too. And this… this was a challenge, because Gaeta didn’t believe him. Gaeta was the last person to come on to married guys, he would never ask anybody to make a choice like that. But this was a desperate plea for Helo to do something, to show Gaeta that somebody gave a damn. So maybe, it was exactly about Helo being married.
Before he could even think of Sharon though, Helo had wrapped his arms around Gaeta’s waist to hold him up, opening up to him, a warm tongue meeting his. Making a surprised sound, Gaeta gripped his shoulder tighter as if he was unable to decide whether he should push him away or pull him closer. But he deepened his kiss immediately, almost aggressively, clearly still expecting Helo to stop, maybe laugh or do something awful.
But there was no way he could, shuddering when he felt Gaeta’s … Felix’ hand gliding down his body - collarbone, pects, abs, finding the edge of his uniform and shoving his hand up to stroke the skin underneath. Helo struggled slightly to get better leverage but Felix just pulled him closer. He tasted sweet and lonely, and obviously, he had clear ideas about who should be the dominating party in this scenario. Helo groaned quietly, feeling lips ghost over his neck. He’d stuck to women most of his life but his body was telling him firmly that it wasn’t due to lack of interest. Felix was surprisingly, inexplicably hot, disheveled and pushy like this.
“Alright,” Felix muttered, actually biting his neck. “Rack.”
“Agreed,” Helo breathed and they stumbled over there, Felix clinging to Helo for balance, a frown crossing his face when he realized it would be easier if he was on his back. He drew Helo down with him, clutching his neck and kissing him again. It was a bit of a fight for a minute, both tugging at the other one’s clothes. Finally, Helo swore, unbuttoning his uniform jacket himself, throwing it down.
He knew this was a bad idea, he really did. He had Sharon to think of, a whole fleet that was relying on him but he couldn’t think. It was damn hard to remember that this was supposed to be an apology because Helo had sure as hell never apologized like this in his life. Then again, he’d also never caused a man - a friend - to lose his leg before.
But their pants were out of the way then and suddenly they had a rhythm going, not fighting for control but melting, both getting what they wanted by way of the other.
Sharon was gone from his mind at that point.
Chapter 6
Feedback would be great. :-)
Pairings: Helo/Gaeta, Helo/Sharon. Can be read with the occasional Gaeta/Baltar undertones.
Genre: It's a gen story overall but with some slash and het b-plot. So it's kind of a gen hybrid.
Rating: PG-13 for some sex, PTSD, bad language in the face of danger and, ya know, people killing robots.
Characters: Gaeta, Helo and Athena (minor characters are Anders, Dualla, Zarek and Hot Dog as well as some Eights and Sixes)
Spoilers: all the way up to 4.10
Beta: done by ebuchala. Thanks a lot!
Summary: The Cylons find the fleet just when all high-ranking personnel is off ship. Galactica's b-team has to execute a rescue mission but Gaeta is depressed, Helo feels guilty, something's going on with Sharon, and everybody knows the plan is suicide anyway.
Chapter summary: Helo wants to do right but it doesn’t happen like that.
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4
“You want me to do what with a virus in a network?” Sam asked warily.
The pilot didn’t know what he had expected when Costanza had told him to report to the Old Man’s office. Truth was that the last weeks had been madness, and he’d reached a point where he just reacted to things happening around him, refusing to think about them at all. Bad enough that he seemed to be a Cylon. Bad enough his wife had stopped talking to him and was now missing in action, possibly dead. He was still allowed to fly but he hadn’t fooled himself into believing that anything had been resolved.
It had entered Sam’s mind on his way here that Karl might want to talk to him to warn him about trying anything funny in the attack, although felt the fear was absurd, considering the man was married to a Cylon. Had been best man at Sam’s wedding, no less.
Instead, he had been greeted by Karl and Sharon, who seemed to keep Gaeta and the couch between them for some reason, looking more military than ever while telling him quite calmly to execute a crazy plan. And it didn’t help that he had to keep himself from flinching whenever Gaeta addressed him.
Right now, the watch officer was glancing up at him as if Sam didn’t even register as a person. “We have Lt. Agathon to fly to one of the basestars and open a way through the firewalls for us,” he repeated, “but Galactica isn’t equipped to transmit the virus unless a Cylon acts as a joint connection. If you are successful, the virus will block the Cylons’ navigation and weapon system, allowing us to shoot them down.”
“Okay,” he said because he really got the specifics, as hard to believe as that might be, but they just weren’t the point. “Couldn’t one of the other Cylons do that? Somebody with... experience?” Sam hadn’t even owned a personal computer console for most of his life. He’d never been the type.
“There are various reasons why it has to be one the Final Five Cylons who...” Gaeta said but was interrupted by Sharon, eyes trained on Sam.
“We’re sure you can handle it, Sam.”
“Uhm, that’s great.” Had they all gone mad? “What about Tory?”
“Tory Foster isn’t military,” Helo said as if it was self-explanatory.
Sam failed to come up with words. He truly didn’t know what to say. It was good, really good and reassuring to learn that Helo and Sharon weren’t about to throw him into the brig. But they couldn’t expect him to do it. It wasn’t that Sam was a coward, he’d fought in two resistance movements after all. But in those circumstances he’d had an inkling of how to do it, at least from watching movies. Cylon networks were a mystery to him. He was positive he’d never used the words “computer code” before in his life.
He wouldn’t deny that he’d been curious, intensely curious when he boarded the Cylon basestar some weeks ago. But he hadn’t tried anything. And he had a feeling that his communication with the Cylon raider in that one battle had been a matter of the raider recognizing him, nothing to do with anything he’d done.
“I don’t know how to transmit a Cylon virus,” he eventually said. “I’ve never... linked with a computer in my life, guys. It didn’t come with a manual.”
“Shame,” Gaeta muttered wistfully and Sam shot him an irritated look. What was wrong with that guy? Couldn’t he start acting like Sam had shot him already?
“Listen, Sam,” Sharon said. “I’ll give you some pointers before launch but you’ll find that it comes naturally. I’ll make sure the firewalls are down, so you’ll get through easily. You might come up against somebody in the network, a One probably and they’re sneaky but they won’t know what to expect from you. You’ll do fine.”
Helplessly, Sam opened and closed his mouth. As everybody on Galactica, he’d been nervous about what exactly they were going to do to win the upcoming battle. If this was their brilliant plan... if he was their brilliant plan, they were all frakking screwed.
In the corner of his eye, he saw Karl cross his arms in front of his chest. Karl had started carrying himself a bit straighter in the last days, Sam noticed with distraction. All three of them had. Remembering his time as a resistance leader, he knew it had to do with being responsible. Adama called it rolling hard sixes.
“Listen up, Sam,” Karl said. “We appreciate your concern but fact is, this has to be done by you. We can’t force you to do it. I frankly wouldn’t know how. But if you’re on our side in this, it’s an order and it’s not up for discussion. We know the risks as well as you do and I need an answer now. It’s the only chance we have to get our people back. Including Starbuck.”
Yeah, his wife who couldn’t deal with a Cylon husband. Of course Sam didn’t want anything to happen to Kara but he knew that wasn’t what Karl was saying, and he started feeling a bit dizzy. While a lot of pilots had made clear what they thought about a Cylon being a pilot, this wasn’t the same Galactica anymore where Cylons were thrown into the brig and shot. But fact was he was a Cylon and that meant he had to prove at some point he was still on the right side. The trust was gone. Tory had refused to prove her loyality like that when she moved to the basestar, fleeing the fleet and Laura Roslin. Some days, Sam understood why she’d left.
Now, they’d judged the risks for him, military style, and they expected their mad plan to work because if it didn’t, Kara and all the others were dead. A plan that relied on Sam Anders, professional athlete to figure out how to transmit a virus so to stop a Cylon fleet, on the fly and by instinct.
“I’ll do my best,” he said, not quite trusting his voice.
The tension left Karl’s face. “I know you will.”
There was saluting then, making matters even more surreal. Sam was crappy at saluting. Still feeling overwhelmed, he tried to acknowledge Gaeta with a nod on his way out but the man still treated him like air. Maybe he should be thankful for that. Sam had enough to think about.
Later that shift, Helo found the time to accompany Sharon to the landing deck. She was scheduled to jump back to Earth and sneak a look at the enemy’s strength, using Earth’s only moon for cover. It wasn’t too risky to do so; they had procedures still in place from similar operations in the days of New Caprica. Silence stretched uncomfortably between them. Helo was almost glad to see Skulls already waiting at the raptor, talking to Figurski.
“I’ll go back to working the pilots with Hot Dog when I’m back,” Sharon said when they reached the raider, busy putting her gloves on. “I’ll make him go through another practice drill at least, sort out the trouble with the nuggets. He’s suggested we shouldn’t take the ones who still don’t get it this time, no matter that we need the manpower. I agree. They’d get us all killed.”
“Sure,” Helo agreed curtly, handing her the helmet. “You know I trust your judgment.”
“Still better if two look at it instead of one.” Through the helmet she was fastening up, her voice sounded hollow. “Anyway, one step at a time. You ready, Skulls?”
“I’m ready,” Skulls said cheerfully. “I’ve prepared all my life to spy on Cylon fleets. Long lasting childhood dream.”
Sharon turned back to Helo. “Anything else?”
Pressing his lips into a firm line, Helo just waited. He knew it wasn’t the right place or time to talk anything out but he’d be damned if he made another useless concession, just to be brushed off. The ball had been in Sharon’s court for quite some time.
After a moment of waiting, Sharon shot him a dark look, turning around without another word to climb into the raptor.
“Trouble in paradise, huh?” Figurski said good-naturedly when the hatch closed, engines heating up. They could see Sharon at the controls, her eyes on the screens while going through the pre-flight check with Skulls.
Helo shot Figurski an annoyed look but the temporary Chief just chuckled, strolling away as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Athena’s raptor just jumped away, sir,” Hoshi reported with a fleeting look up at the Dradis screens. “Recon mission is a go.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hoshi,” Dee answered formally, accepting the midwatch report from Myers with a nod and giving it a cursory look. Things had been quiet since they’d jumped away from Earth, all things considered. They were changing positions every twelve hours, calm and steady as clockwork, no sign of the Cylons whatsoever. Everybody tackled the extra duty with the stoicism Tigh and Felix had pounded into them years ago.
“Colonial One is asking for permission to dock for refueling, sir,” Myers remarked, looking her a question. “Vice President Zarek wants to come on board for a situation update. Again.”
“Big surprise,” Hoshi muttered dryly, and Dee had to work to keep her lips from twitching.
“Granted.”
Face equally schooled, Myers passed it on.
The situation wasn’t half bad, Dee judged, overseeing the calm activity around her, still used to the job from her time on Pegasus. Everybody had been shocked when they’d lost Admiral Adama but they’d gone back to doing their jobs fast. Many people on Galactica trusted Helo by now, he was popular and a bit of a hero, and people in the CIC trusted Felix, knowing he’d always been the man who made it all work despite Tigh. And Athena... Athena was wisely doing a lot of executive work, staying away from the public eye.
“Sir,” Myers said after closing the channel. “Should I send the CAG to greet the President?”
“No,” Dee answered after a moment of thinking. “I’ll go myself.” She passed the clipboard on to Hoshi. “The CIC is yours, Mr. Hoshi.” Giving the unmoving fleet on Dradis a last look, she strode out of the CIC. They’d always found someone appropriate to deal with Zarek to date but Helo was busy and they’d agreed not to distract Felix if they didn’t have to. There was no one but her to do it except Hot Dog. Sending a communications officer was a bit of an insult, of course. A CAG was much more prestigious. Felix had given her endless lectures on that kind of protocol back in the day.
Dee hardened her face when she thought of Felix. She still didn’t know how she could make up with him. She knew why he was angry, and rightfully so, having waited for her to show up in sickbay. But she’d been so shocked, and they’d had such a hard time after New Caprica, she had thought she’d better leave it to his other friends, prompting Alghee to check on him when nobody could tell her how he was. When she realized her mistake, Felix had suddenly been back on the duty roaster. She shouldn’t be surprised that he wouldn’t even talk to her anymore.
At this point however, she had to do her bit in Felix’ job so he could catch some sleep, heading down to the docking area. Felix had also always told her she should enjoy her work more, and Dee looked forward to insulting Tom Zarek just by being the one to greet him.
Helo had been on his way to check in on the CIC but two corridors away from it he paused, muttering a curse and heading towards the family quarters instead. He couldn’t do it like this. He couldn’t calm the fleet. He couldn’t deal with the press. He didn’t know how to mend his frakking marriage.
The only thing he could try to save right now was his friendship with Gaeta, so he’d better get started. Screw the CIC. It was overdue that somebody made Gaeta their priority for a change, even if he’d probably missed his chance already. He could try. He owed him that much.
“Come on in,” he heard Gaeta’s voice from within the room and Helo opened the hatch, stepping into the room, glad he hadn’t misjudged and woken his XO up. Gaeta hadn’t gone back to sleep though. Dressed in sweatpants and tank top, he was awkwardly holding onto a board getting up from his rack, where he seemed to have sat reading through a print-out.
“Here, let me help you,” Helo said without thinking, offering a hand. Gaeta shot him an unreadable look but accepted with a “Thank you, sir,” reaching for Helo’s shoulder so he could get up to put away the paper, straightening the sheets before dropping back down.
“I guess you’re here to talk about the CIC duty roaster,” Gaeta said, shifting away from Helo with an uneasy look. “I talked to Hoshi about that and we actually found a way to fully man all action st...”
“No, wait,” Helo interrupted him. Not sure how to go about this at all, he took a step toward the desk chair, then paused, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sure the changes are fine.” Gaeta shot him another one of those closed looks and Helo hurried to continue, all of it pouring out in a rush. “Listen, Felix, I know you’re angry with me. The Gods know I can’t blame you. I don’t know if I can make up for it, I wouldn’t know how but I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for what happened.”
Gaeta just looked at him, unblinking, looking awfully young out of uniform with his curls sticking up. Helo took a breath to tone it down.
“The Demetrius debacle was my fault, I know that. I had to make a call and looking back I’m not sure it was the right one. All of it was a mistake.” Bitterly, he thought back to the wasteland they had found on Earth, ruins sinking into mud and gray skies stretching as far as you could see. And now it had swallowed some of their crew, too. “I should have been the one to get shot.”
Helo paused, hesitating. For a long moment, Gaeta just sat there, no expression on his face whatsoever.
“Yes,” he said eventually. “You should have been.”
“You have no idea how sorry I am.”
Gaeta frowned. “You know, I could say the same thing, sir.” Looking around, he grabbed the wall and stood up again, carefully balancing towards his crutches. “I’m sure you’re very sincere and crushed over what happened.” His voice took on an edge, “but since nothing can be changed about it now, I don’t see why we have to discuss it. So if you’d excuse me, as I’ll have to be on watch in an hour, I have to take a shower.” Smooth, Helo judged. Very smooth.
Automatically, he stepped back to allow Gaeta access to his crutches, trying to think up another way to do this. This didn’t qualify as talking obviously. Felix didn’t even sound like he cared. In fact, he sounded like he was beyond caring, as if he thought nothing could be saved. Or maybe he thought that there hadn’t been anything worth saving in the first place. It worried Helo on multiple levels. He’d seen enough people losing hope for lesser reasons.
Helo actually remembered how he’d first met Gaeta, a year or so before the war. He’d been assigned to Gaeta as ECO on a raptor rotation. Asking around, he’d learned that Lt. Felix Gaeta would be the name belonging to the new voice calling reveille. He’d been surprised to find a ridiculously young lad going through the pre-flight check, so painfully shy that he’d blushed whenever he noticed Helo watching him. It had been cute and flattering, since Gaeta sure didn’t blush when he talked to Starbuck or the CAG.
But they were all beyond blushing these days, and when Gaeta stopped at his locker to get a towel, then went through the complicated looking process of arranging his crutches again, he didn’t even look at Helo. It appeared that he was trying not to squirm when he noticed Helo’s eyes on him. It was hard to stomach.
Frak.
“Felix,” Helo said, reaching for Gaeta’s arm when the other man tried to pass by him. “Please. Talk to me. I promise I’ll do anything to make up for this if there’s a way.”
Gaeta looked up at him, anger in his eyes now, his biceps feeling tense and restrained under Helo’s palm. “Anything,” he said faintly but didn’t retreat.
“Of course.” Searching Gaeta’s face, Helo tried to figure out what he’d said wrong.
“Well,” Gaeta said. “Okay.” He paused, raising his chin slightly. “How about this then...” Grabbing Helo’s shoulder, Gaeta pulled him closer with surprising strength, drawing his head down into a kiss. The crutches clattered to the ground, and Gaeta swayed but didn’t let go.
At first, Helo was frankly too surprised to react. He knew of course that Gaeta was gay but this, he still hadn’t seen coming. He would have supposed that all things sexual were the last thing on Gaeta’s mind, considering his situation.
Then again, all of Galactica had proven to be pretty damn bad at figuring out what Felix Gaeta needed and it was a rare event that he was desperate enough to express it, too. And this… this was a challenge, because Gaeta didn’t believe him. Gaeta was the last person to come on to married guys, he would never ask anybody to make a choice like that. But this was a desperate plea for Helo to do something, to show Gaeta that somebody gave a damn. So maybe, it was exactly about Helo being married.
Before he could even think of Sharon though, Helo had wrapped his arms around Gaeta’s waist to hold him up, opening up to him, a warm tongue meeting his. Making a surprised sound, Gaeta gripped his shoulder tighter as if he was unable to decide whether he should push him away or pull him closer. But he deepened his kiss immediately, almost aggressively, clearly still expecting Helo to stop, maybe laugh or do something awful.
But there was no way he could, shuddering when he felt Gaeta’s … Felix’ hand gliding down his body - collarbone, pects, abs, finding the edge of his uniform and shoving his hand up to stroke the skin underneath. Helo struggled slightly to get better leverage but Felix just pulled him closer. He tasted sweet and lonely, and obviously, he had clear ideas about who should be the dominating party in this scenario. Helo groaned quietly, feeling lips ghost over his neck. He’d stuck to women most of his life but his body was telling him firmly that it wasn’t due to lack of interest. Felix was surprisingly, inexplicably hot, disheveled and pushy like this.
“Alright,” Felix muttered, actually biting his neck. “Rack.”
“Agreed,” Helo breathed and they stumbled over there, Felix clinging to Helo for balance, a frown crossing his face when he realized it would be easier if he was on his back. He drew Helo down with him, clutching his neck and kissing him again. It was a bit of a fight for a minute, both tugging at the other one’s clothes. Finally, Helo swore, unbuttoning his uniform jacket himself, throwing it down.
He knew this was a bad idea, he really did. He had Sharon to think of, a whole fleet that was relying on him but he couldn’t think. It was damn hard to remember that this was supposed to be an apology because Helo had sure as hell never apologized like this in his life. Then again, he’d also never caused a man - a friend - to lose his leg before.
But their pants were out of the way then and suddenly they had a rhythm going, not fighting for control but melting, both getting what they wanted by way of the other.
Sharon was gone from his mind at that point.
Chapter 6
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