E.R./X-Men fic: Allegiance [0/8]
Title: Allegiance
Fandoms: E.R./X-Men Movieverse
Spoilers: Up to the end of E.R. season 13, rewriting "I don't," rewriting X2, and ignoring everything that came afterwards on both fronts, except for some backstory borrowed from X3
Characters: Ray, Neela, Jean, Xavier, Abby, Cyclops, Kovac, Gates & pretty much all the X2 ensemble
Pairings: Ray/Neela, canon pairings
Wordcount: ~ 33,000 words
Rating: teen (PTSD, discussion of child abuse, mutant hate, things going boom)
Summary: Ray doesn't need the Professor to tell him that you can't outrun your past. But that doesn't mean he'll stop trying - even when his mutant powers destroy the life he has built in Chicago, and William Stryker targets his old team.
AN: This fic is a reimagination of X2 (and parts of E.R.), pretty much like the story might have worked out if Ray Barnett was a central comicverse character who thus had to have been a part of the movie. I hope that many people will have fun reading it no matter the fandom combination is so obscure! Thanks to gabilar94 for answering questions about Boston, and to millari, who did a fabulous job betaing. She, BTW, doesn't know either fandom, so if you're considering reading this despite only knowing one of them, I think it's absolutely worth a shot. Plus, there are fandom cheat sheets.
Fandom Cheat Sheet for those who don't know E.R. -- Fandom Cheat Sheet for those who don't know the X-Men Movieverse
Prologue
County General Hospital, Chicago. One year ago.
“Uhm, Ray, you’ve got a visitor.” Ray’s hand was stuck in the chest of a gun shot victim trying to squeeze a heart back to life when the trauma room door opened. Jerry had stuck his head in.
“Get the paddles ready…”
“I’m a little busy here, Jerry!”
“On three!”
He pulled his hand out to make room for Pratt, and there was that second of breathless waiting while nothing - nothing - nothing happened. The room sprung into motion in tandem, well-rehearsed chaos.
“Alright, another round of epi…”
“He’s bleeding out…”
“I still can’t find the bullet!”
Hello Ray.
There was nothing startling about the warm, calm telepathic voice that had suddenly popped into his head - like the world had quieted and stopped for a moment. Ray was too busy to do anything about it, though. He gritted his teeth, slapping the bloody glove into the right place around his wrist and waiting for Pratt’s okay to dive back in.
“Can’t really tell you why, but the guy looked kind of important…” Jerry sounded uncharacteristically uncertain.
This is a really bad time to mess with the staff, Professor, he thought back.
The heart between his fingers still wasn’t beating on its own. Then again, they’d pretty much known it was a lost cause when they'd cracked open the man’s chest. And Professor Xavier probably knew that, or he wouldn't have interrupted.
It had been three years since they had last met. Ray couldn't muster any surprise that his old mentor had managed to show up at the most inconvenient time. He'd always had a habit of walking in when Ray was busy.
---
“It’s been a long time,” Professor Xavier said, repeating Ray’s thoughts. Maybe it was because he'd read Ray's mind. But maybe it was just the most obvious thing to say, so Ray forced himself to give him the benefit of a doubt. Three years had been enough to get him used to having his mind strictly to himself. The Professor had followed him into the nurses' lounge, and he could hear the door quietly falling shut. He could hear the smile in Xavier's voice, too. “You look good. Jean would be proud if she could see you like this, Ray.”
“Like what? A real doctor?” Ray didn't quite manage to keep the smirk off his face. He’d led the Professor into the room ready to be angry at him, but the unexpected praise had a somewhat pacifying effect against his will. That hadn't changed, either. Crossing his arms in front of his chest in discomfort, he went to look out of the window. It was raining again. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I not visit an old student?”
“Like that has ever happened before?” There wasn't any venom to the reminder, though. He hadn't exactly been abandoned, not when the Professor still faithfully called him every birthday, and both Hank and Jean sent the occasional email. The school had played no small part in accounting for his med school fees, as well.
It had been he who had left and who had wanted to be left alone for good. It had been he who had wanted a new life, one that he could live on his own terms.
Professor Xavier had always respected that. He imagined the old man behind him to bow his head when he conceded the point. "Scott and I came to Chicago to talk to a prospective student. Scott is currently meeting with her parents. I couldn't let the opportunity slide to visit you." There was genuine warmth in his voice. "It's good to see you doing work at a place that is obviously welcoming you."
Sure. As long as they don't know what I am, that is. Ray took a deep breath, rubbing his face. There was the reason he avoided talking to the Professor. It made him think of things he'd rather never think about. "Not a lot to do beside the County since the guys left for L.A."
"Alas, if you should ever get tired of it..." Ray turned to look at the Professor, his body stiff with defiance, but Xavier just chuckled - laughing at him a little. "I have to offer, Ray," he said without apology. "Don't act like we wouldn't always be happy to have you back on the team. There will always be a place for you - and especially now that Hank has left us for Washington, I know that Jean would be grateful for some help in her lab."
Ray shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm not a scientist."
He wasn't a super genius like Jean and Hank, never had been, never had wanted to be. He'd never wanted to be a doctor for their altruistic reasons, either, he'd just wanted to make money and, maybe, prove that he could be something other than he was supposed to. Likewise, he wasn't a hero.
The trickle of telepathic contact ran down his spine before the Professor's words could form in his mind, and he reacted by instinct, slamming a shield into place to keep them out. Telepathy had never stopped squicking the hell out of him.
"Oh Ray." Xavier sighed.
"I'm fine on my own," Ray said, turning back to the window again so that he wouldn't have to face Xavier. Still raining. "That's the next part of the speech, isn't it? 'It's a gift, not a curse; you have to continue your training; this life can't be good for you, no matter you're making plenty of money and are actually good at your job...'"
His voice had grown louder with every line. He'd always had too much of a temper, even Professor Lehnsherr - Magneto - had said. But Xavier cut him off, experience having taught him that you'd make a Barnett listen only if you matched them in decibels. "Yours is a psychic gift at its core, Ray." Ray's mouth clamped shut despite himself. The Professor spoke on, quiet but fierce. "Nevertheless, you chose a profession that forces you to work with people projecting suffering and despair. You moved to a state known for its extreme anti-mutant attitude when your power could rival even that of Storm if you allowed it to grow." His voice was growing softer again now that Ray had shut up. "I will always respect your choices, but, Ray, I can't help but worry."
"It's just force fields. I don't use them for anything," Ray brushed it off. As Zoe's father had shown, being beaten up without fighting back still wasn't hard - you just had to lie there. "I'm not like 'Ro. It was never that hard to control. I need to focus to turn it on, not off."
"Still it is force fields that could bring down this whole building if directed at the right walls."
"So what?" He twirled around again, his voice rising. "Why should I want to bring down the building? I like the way things are, I don't have a reason to fuck them up by using my powers. It’s working. Nobody here has ever had any idea that something is wrong!"
The words echoed in the sudden silence. Immediately, Ray wished that he could take them back. A look of sorrow had passed Xavier's face, and Ray knew what he thought. It's what your father would have said. But there's nothing wrong with you. But just because his father had said it, that one night years ago that he didn't think about anymore, didn't mean it was wrong.
And he never thought about that night. He didn't.
(A brain dead baby left to die alone, not normal enough for his parents to want it. A deaf kid beaten up by the police. Windows breaking into thousands of pieces from a force field pushing forward and Joshua Barnett, screaming, screaming that no son of his was--)
The world stopped. There was a tense moment of pause, filled with words unspoken.
The room was eerily quiet, his heart beating way too fast, and Ray was suddenly paranoid that someone could have heard. Except then, he remembered that nobody heard Xavier if he didn't want it. He'd probably put out a suggestion to the staff to not interrupt them, as well.
It was pretty easy to believe in human kindness if you could dodge all the risks with telepathy.
Calm down. Ray forced himself to take shallow breaths, directing his mind elsewhere behind the protection of his psychic shields - the only way he ever used his secondary power.
The Professor's face didn't change, though it was obvious when he sank into himself just so that he'd chosen to retreat. Everything about this man was subtle; how he could admire Xavier just as much as any X-Man, Ray had never quite figured out. "Come have dinner with us after the end of your shift, at least," Xavier said. His eyes said he honestly wanted it to be a peace offering. "We won't be discussing any business, I promise. Scott would love to see you again."
Ray sighed tiredly. He knew he couldn't say no, especially when he'd really like to meet Scott, who wasn't much older than him, though so much more a son to the Professor and his cause. So much more of a dick, too, they'd both thought of each other through a good part of the two years he'd spent in Westchester, but they'd grown up. Last time he'd put aside his hang-ups to visit Xavier's had been when Scott and Jean had gotten engaged.
His eyes drifted past Xavier to the County E.R. The Admit desk was in sight through the window, the eternal buzz of activity never slowing down. It sucked just a little, struggling with the job he'd decided was for him after all, dealing with assholes like Gates. Dealing with her, who still wouldn't look at him whenever she could prevent it and that hurt. But it was still his life. He'd made it all up by himself when everybody had thought he was slightly deranged to believe that he could, and he intended to continue improving it.
Which meant Xavier better take him to a restaurant where nobody would see him with Scott. Physicians would have an easy time figuring out what those glasses were for.
"I'll be out of here by eight," he said.
Xavier smiled.
on to the next part
Fandoms: E.R./X-Men Movieverse
Spoilers: Up to the end of E.R. season 13, rewriting "I don't," rewriting X2, and ignoring everything that came afterwards on both fronts, except for some backstory borrowed from X3
Characters: Ray, Neela, Jean, Xavier, Abby, Cyclops, Kovac, Gates & pretty much all the X2 ensemble
Pairings: Ray/Neela, canon pairings
Wordcount: ~ 33,000 words
Rating: teen (PTSD, discussion of child abuse, mutant hate, things going boom)
Summary: Ray doesn't need the Professor to tell him that you can't outrun your past. But that doesn't mean he'll stop trying - even when his mutant powers destroy the life he has built in Chicago, and William Stryker targets his old team.
AN: This fic is a reimagination of X2 (and parts of E.R.), pretty much like the story might have worked out if Ray Barnett was a central comicverse character who thus had to have been a part of the movie. I hope that many people will have fun reading it no matter the fandom combination is so obscure! Thanks to gabilar94 for answering questions about Boston, and to millari, who did a fabulous job betaing. She, BTW, doesn't know either fandom, so if you're considering reading this despite only knowing one of them, I think it's absolutely worth a shot. Plus, there are fandom cheat sheets.
Fandom Cheat Sheet for those who don't know E.R. -- Fandom Cheat Sheet for those who don't know the X-Men Movieverse
Prologue
County General Hospital, Chicago. One year ago.
“Uhm, Ray, you’ve got a visitor.” Ray’s hand was stuck in the chest of a gun shot victim trying to squeeze a heart back to life when the trauma room door opened. Jerry had stuck his head in.
“Get the paddles ready…”
“I’m a little busy here, Jerry!”
“On three!”
He pulled his hand out to make room for Pratt, and there was that second of breathless waiting while nothing - nothing - nothing happened. The room sprung into motion in tandem, well-rehearsed chaos.
“Alright, another round of epi…”
“He’s bleeding out…”
“I still can’t find the bullet!”
Hello Ray.
There was nothing startling about the warm, calm telepathic voice that had suddenly popped into his head - like the world had quieted and stopped for a moment. Ray was too busy to do anything about it, though. He gritted his teeth, slapping the bloody glove into the right place around his wrist and waiting for Pratt’s okay to dive back in.
“Can’t really tell you why, but the guy looked kind of important…” Jerry sounded uncharacteristically uncertain.
This is a really bad time to mess with the staff, Professor, he thought back.
The heart between his fingers still wasn’t beating on its own. Then again, they’d pretty much known it was a lost cause when they'd cracked open the man’s chest. And Professor Xavier probably knew that, or he wouldn't have interrupted.
It had been three years since they had last met. Ray couldn't muster any surprise that his old mentor had managed to show up at the most inconvenient time. He'd always had a habit of walking in when Ray was busy.
---
“It’s been a long time,” Professor Xavier said, repeating Ray’s thoughts. Maybe it was because he'd read Ray's mind. But maybe it was just the most obvious thing to say, so Ray forced himself to give him the benefit of a doubt. Three years had been enough to get him used to having his mind strictly to himself. The Professor had followed him into the nurses' lounge, and he could hear the door quietly falling shut. He could hear the smile in Xavier's voice, too. “You look good. Jean would be proud if she could see you like this, Ray.”
“Like what? A real doctor?” Ray didn't quite manage to keep the smirk off his face. He’d led the Professor into the room ready to be angry at him, but the unexpected praise had a somewhat pacifying effect against his will. That hadn't changed, either. Crossing his arms in front of his chest in discomfort, he went to look out of the window. It was raining again. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I not visit an old student?”
“Like that has ever happened before?” There wasn't any venom to the reminder, though. He hadn't exactly been abandoned, not when the Professor still faithfully called him every birthday, and both Hank and Jean sent the occasional email. The school had played no small part in accounting for his med school fees, as well.
It had been he who had left and who had wanted to be left alone for good. It had been he who had wanted a new life, one that he could live on his own terms.
Professor Xavier had always respected that. He imagined the old man behind him to bow his head when he conceded the point. "Scott and I came to Chicago to talk to a prospective student. Scott is currently meeting with her parents. I couldn't let the opportunity slide to visit you." There was genuine warmth in his voice. "It's good to see you doing work at a place that is obviously welcoming you."
Sure. As long as they don't know what I am, that is. Ray took a deep breath, rubbing his face. There was the reason he avoided talking to the Professor. It made him think of things he'd rather never think about. "Not a lot to do beside the County since the guys left for L.A."
"Alas, if you should ever get tired of it..." Ray turned to look at the Professor, his body stiff with defiance, but Xavier just chuckled - laughing at him a little. "I have to offer, Ray," he said without apology. "Don't act like we wouldn't always be happy to have you back on the team. There will always be a place for you - and especially now that Hank has left us for Washington, I know that Jean would be grateful for some help in her lab."
Ray shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm not a scientist."
He wasn't a super genius like Jean and Hank, never had been, never had wanted to be. He'd never wanted to be a doctor for their altruistic reasons, either, he'd just wanted to make money and, maybe, prove that he could be something other than he was supposed to. Likewise, he wasn't a hero.
The trickle of telepathic contact ran down his spine before the Professor's words could form in his mind, and he reacted by instinct, slamming a shield into place to keep them out. Telepathy had never stopped squicking the hell out of him.
"Oh Ray." Xavier sighed.
"I'm fine on my own," Ray said, turning back to the window again so that he wouldn't have to face Xavier. Still raining. "That's the next part of the speech, isn't it? 'It's a gift, not a curse; you have to continue your training; this life can't be good for you, no matter you're making plenty of money and are actually good at your job...'"
His voice had grown louder with every line. He'd always had too much of a temper, even Professor Lehnsherr - Magneto - had said. But Xavier cut him off, experience having taught him that you'd make a Barnett listen only if you matched them in decibels. "Yours is a psychic gift at its core, Ray." Ray's mouth clamped shut despite himself. The Professor spoke on, quiet but fierce. "Nevertheless, you chose a profession that forces you to work with people projecting suffering and despair. You moved to a state known for its extreme anti-mutant attitude when your power could rival even that of Storm if you allowed it to grow." His voice was growing softer again now that Ray had shut up. "I will always respect your choices, but, Ray, I can't help but worry."
"It's just force fields. I don't use them for anything," Ray brushed it off. As Zoe's father had shown, being beaten up without fighting back still wasn't hard - you just had to lie there. "I'm not like 'Ro. It was never that hard to control. I need to focus to turn it on, not off."
"Still it is force fields that could bring down this whole building if directed at the right walls."
"So what?" He twirled around again, his voice rising. "Why should I want to bring down the building? I like the way things are, I don't have a reason to fuck them up by using my powers. It’s working. Nobody here has ever had any idea that something is wrong!"
The words echoed in the sudden silence. Immediately, Ray wished that he could take them back. A look of sorrow had passed Xavier's face, and Ray knew what he thought. It's what your father would have said. But there's nothing wrong with you. But just because his father had said it, that one night years ago that he didn't think about anymore, didn't mean it was wrong.
And he never thought about that night. He didn't.
(A brain dead baby left to die alone, not normal enough for his parents to want it. A deaf kid beaten up by the police. Windows breaking into thousands of pieces from a force field pushing forward and Joshua Barnett, screaming, screaming that no son of his was--)
The world stopped. There was a tense moment of pause, filled with words unspoken.
The room was eerily quiet, his heart beating way too fast, and Ray was suddenly paranoid that someone could have heard. Except then, he remembered that nobody heard Xavier if he didn't want it. He'd probably put out a suggestion to the staff to not interrupt them, as well.
It was pretty easy to believe in human kindness if you could dodge all the risks with telepathy.
Calm down. Ray forced himself to take shallow breaths, directing his mind elsewhere behind the protection of his psychic shields - the only way he ever used his secondary power.
The Professor's face didn't change, though it was obvious when he sank into himself just so that he'd chosen to retreat. Everything about this man was subtle; how he could admire Xavier just as much as any X-Man, Ray had never quite figured out. "Come have dinner with us after the end of your shift, at least," Xavier said. His eyes said he honestly wanted it to be a peace offering. "We won't be discussing any business, I promise. Scott would love to see you again."
Ray sighed tiredly. He knew he couldn't say no, especially when he'd really like to meet Scott, who wasn't much older than him, though so much more a son to the Professor and his cause. So much more of a dick, too, they'd both thought of each other through a good part of the two years he'd spent in Westchester, but they'd grown up. Last time he'd put aside his hang-ups to visit Xavier's had been when Scott and Jean had gotten engaged.
His eyes drifted past Xavier to the County E.R. The Admit desk was in sight through the window, the eternal buzz of activity never slowing down. It sucked just a little, struggling with the job he'd decided was for him after all, dealing with assholes like Gates. Dealing with her, who still wouldn't look at him whenever she could prevent it and that hurt. But it was still his life. He'd made it all up by himself when everybody had thought he was slightly deranged to believe that he could, and he intended to continue improving it.
Which meant Xavier better take him to a restaurant where nobody would see him with Scott. Physicians would have an easy time figuring out what those glasses were for.
"I'll be out of here by eight," he said.
Xavier smiled.
on to the next part