003: Favorite Male TV Characters Picspam

[whitkj22]

10.


Perry: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh…. Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything-eve-everything that exists - past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

9.



[Michael reads off complaints filed by Dwight]
Michael: OK, so Dwight, in your own words: "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert."
Michael: Everyone has called me "Dwayne" all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to.
Jim: [to camera, laughs] Yes. Five bucks each, and it was totally worth it.
Michael: This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer, and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer.
Michael: Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women's room, when I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.
Michael: This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone.
Jim: [to camera] That actually took a while. I had to put- uh, more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight, and then I just took them all out.
Michael: Every time I typed my name, it said "Diapers".
Jim: [to camera] Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don't sound that funny, one after another. But he does deserve it, though.
Michael: By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier.
Jim: [to camera] Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom, and that's how I spent the entire day that day.

8.

Mitchell: I don't like football.
Cameron: You know what? I thought part of being in a relationship was pretending to enjoy your partner's interests. Do you think I really loved home pickle making?
Mitchell: Yeah, 'cause you did.
Cameron: For a week, until we became the weird guys who gave everybody pickles. "Oh thank you, Marvin, for inviting us into your lovely home. Here, would you care for sacks pickles?"
Mitchell: It was charming.
Cameron: We were picklers, Mitchell. Okay, you know what, fine. Stay home with your little, jagged scissors. Maybe catch up on your scrap-booking.
Mitchell: Uh, come-you love scrap-booking.
Cameron: Did I Mitchell? Did I? [Leaves room]
Mitchell: No, stop. Don't do the double question to prove a point thing. I hate it when people do that.
Cameron [holds Lily outside the door]: Do you Mitchell? Do you?
Mitchell: Stop Lily

7.

Hugo Hurley Reyes: Did that bird just say my name?
James Sawyer Ford: Yeah it did. Right after it crapped gold.

6.


Ben Linus: Oh... so now, after all this time, you've decided to stop ignoring me. 35 years I lived on this island, and all I ever heard was your name over and over. Richard would bring me your instructions - all those slips of paper, all those lists - and I never questioned anything. I did as I was told. But when I dared to ask to see you myself, I was told, "You have to wait. You have to be patient." But when HE asked to see you? He gets marched straight up here as if was Moses. So... why him? Hmm? What was it that was so wrong with me? What about me?
Jacob: [pause] What ABOUT you?

5.

Sam: I just want you to know, I'm here for you. You're a brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. Too precious for this world.
****
Dean: Bitch.
Sam: Jerk.

4.


Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun's apparent position relevant to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: Participate in the what?

3.


Chandler: Wow, so tonight might be the night. You nervous?
Joey: Nah. This is the part I'm actually good at.
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?
Joey: It's okay!

2.

Eric: Everybody thinks you're a darling, don't they?
Sookie: I am a darling.
Eric: Yeah, but you're ruthless when it comes to the people you love. You'd do anything for them. Your brother, your friends... me.

For number one, I've got a TIE!
1.


Jack:It's been six days... and we're all still waiting. Waiting for someone to come. Well, what if they don't? We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out. A woman died this morning just going for a swim, and he tried to save her, and now you're about you crucify him? We can't do *this*. Every man for himself is not gonna work. It's time to start organizing. We need to figure out how we're gonna *survive* here. Now I found water... fresh water up in the valley. I'll take a group in at first light. If you don't wanna come, then find another way to contribute! Last week most of us were strangers. But we're all here now, and God knows how long we're gonna be here. But if we can't, live together... we're gonna die alone.

1.


Dean: They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... Like magic... Just so they could start in all over. And Alastair... At the end of every day... every one... He would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... If I put souls on...if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls. The -- the things that I did to them.
****
Sam and Dean: (In unison): Right, you're a mind reader. Cut it out, Sam... Sam! You think you're funny but you're being really, really childish! - Sam Winchester wears makeup. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchester keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up..... Okay, enough!

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