take me in into you darkest hour and i’ll never desert you
Writers: Nick & Jeff
Mentioned: Jamie, Coraline Duval, The Sterlings
What: Nick goes to comfort Jeff in the aftermath of his older brother calling him a f****t
Where: Jeff’s room at his parents’ house, Upper Arlington, OH
When: Thursday, Novemeber 24th, 2011; Thanksgiving
Rating: SFW
When he woke up that morning, Jeff had anticipated that his brother would prove, once again, that he was an asshole - but he hadn’t expected him to do it to the extent that he had. Nor had he expected his best friend to give Andy such a well-deserved punch. But life never really worked out the way people anticipated it to, did it? Especially not around the Holidays.
The blond suspected that he’d been in a shallow state of shock when it had first occurred, but in the hour or so that had passed, Jeff could feel himself starting to crumble. His mind was reeling, but he couldn’t just excuse himself from dinner. Once the meal had ended, however, he had stolen away to his room. Darcy had all but kidnapped Jamie and dragged him back to her own room, his parents were tidying up, and the blond was fairly certain that Coraline had pulled Nick aside to ‘have a word with him.’ He didn’t particularly care where Andy had gotten off to. Amidst all of this, Jeff had assumed that he would manage to slip away undetected.
Closing the door behind himself, Jeff leaned back against it for a moment and closed his eyes. He was not going to let himself cry over this - he wasn’t a child! Andy had never liked him, and the two brothers had always been at odds with one another; he should have been expecting this. But it still hurt - he figured that it would hurt no matter who it had come from, but for it to have been from his own flesh and blood? It stung. He wiped at his eyes angrily as a bit of moisture escaped and then looked around. Settling his gaze on his closet, Jeff wiped at his eyes again and then quickly shed his shirt, dropped it to the floor and then crossed the room.
Flipping through his hangers, Jeff cursed himself under his breath. He couldn’t really blame Andy, though, could he? He might as well have been asking for it -- and God, was every shirt he owned pink? Frustrated, he banged his hand against the frame of the closet and bit back a sob. What was the point? He wasn’t fooling anyone - not even himself - so what the Hell was the point?
Nick had more than a few words from his mother. As soon as she'd been able to, Coraline had pulled him aside and given him a very stern talking to, and wouldn't even stop to hear the explanation that he attempted to give her. With all due respect, he deserved it. He had acted out of turn and done something extremely drastic, and it was all he could do to hope that the Sterlings didn't judge him too much for his actions. Truth be told, he'd never especially liked Andy. Punching him in the face during a holiday meal though? Even Nick felt that his actions were unacceptable.
Once his mother was finished chastising him, Nick went to apologise to Jeff's parents. Once that was done, he began his search for his best friend. He didn't know where Andy was and didn't particularly care (though he had been told by his mother to apologise at the earliest possible moment) and he could hear Jamie and Darcy through the girl's bedroom door as he passed, so he guessed that Jeff was on his own. The most logical place to look was the other boy's bedroom, and so Nick padded down the familiar corridor and paused outside.
Curious as to what the banging sound coming from inside was, he didn't bother to knock. Opening the door, he instantly frowned and rather quickly crossed the room in order to stop by Jeff. Resting a light hand on the other boy's shoulder, Nick bit his lip and tried his best not to look too worried (even though he most certainly was). He could tell just how upset his best friend was and it practically broke his heart as his gaze flickered over Jeff's face.
“C'mere,” he whispered, turning the other boy towards him in the hopes of giving him a hug.
Oblivious to the sounds of his door opening, Jeff jumped slightly at the hand on his shoulder, but relaxed at the sound of Nick’s voice. It was true, he’d wanted to be alone, but if someone had to come looking for him, Jeff was glad that it had been his best friend. Without a word, he accepted the offer, his arms winding around the shorter boy as he hugged Nick tightly. Just like that, it was as if a dam had broken and tears welled in his eyes, spilling over before he could stop them and fight them back down.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out after a minute or so. Clinging a little tighter, Jeff tried his hardest to get himself back under control, but it was slow going. Which only upset him more, because how was he meant to explain that? Nick would want to know why he was so upset, wouldn’t he? Saying that he hated hearing such offensive terms would only explain so much, even when considering that Andy had said such a thing in front of two friends who Jeff knew weren’t straight. Shouldn’t he have just been angry, then, and not crying like a baby?
As soon as Jeff latched onto him, Nick wrapped his arms around the other boy and began to rub up and down his back. He let his eyes close, the pressure on his lip increasing as he tried not to get upset at the sound of his best friend crying. It was difficult to keep his emotions in check, though he tried his best to be strong. Jeff needed somebody at the moment and Nick was going to be that person.
“Why are you apologising?” he whispered, turning his head to the side slightly in order to brush the tip of his nose against the other boy's hair, “Don't be silly. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Truthfully, Nick didn't care why Jeff was so upset. All that mattered to him was that it was happening and he was willing to do everything possible to stop his friend from feeling bad. He might have had more than a suspicion as to why such a slur had caused such a powerful reaction but now was most definitely not the time to discuss it. The topic was Jeff's business and, no matter what Nick suspected, he would wait until his best friend was ready to talk about it. At the moment, there were slightly more pressing matters at hand.
“For-” Blubbering all over him? Soaking his shirt? Having such a dick for a brother? For keeping such a big secret from him? For being such a-
No. No. He knew better than that, and he owed it not only to himself, but also to so many of his friends not to be so stupid about this. Instead of continuing, Jeff simply whined and gave a small shake of his head. It had probably been a rhetorical question, anyway. “I don’t know w-why I’m s...” he whimpered after another moment or two, “I’m not...” But he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t protest it anymore, not right then, but he couldn’t admit it, either.
At the whine, Nick tightened his hold momentarily. Squeezing his best friend lightly, he gradually eased himself away and rested both hands on the other boy's shoulders. Letting his eyes sweep over Jeff's face again, Nick shook his head and forced an extremely weak smile as he raised one hand up to brush at the blonde's cheek. Once all of his tears had gone from one side, Nick occupied himself with brushing the other cheek before he gave a satisfied nod.
“No more crying, okay?” he said, his tone still low, “Both of us know that your brother and his opinions aren't worth the tears.”
Although Nick felt a little bad for saying negative things about Andy, the other boy deserved it in his mind. It didn't matter if it was a stranger or his own blood; Nick wouldn't tolerate anybody hurting Jeff. To see his best friend in such a state almost caused Nick to feel physical pain, the sight was so heartbreaking. He simply couldn't deal with knowing that Jeff was upset.
As carefully as he could, Nick walked backwards and eased Jeff along with him by the shoulders. As soon as the backs of his legs touched the edge of the bed, the shorter boy turned around and guided Jeff down to sit before he moved to mimic him. Now sitting side by side, Nick draped one arm over the other boy's shoulders and pulled him close, his cheek coming to rest against Jeff's hair.
Sniffling in a way that Jeff really hoped wasn’t too pitiful, he stilled and watched Nick as the other boy wiped his tears away. More gathered in his eyes, but they didn’t fall, so Jeff was confident enough that the worst had passed. At least, he was hopeful that it had. With a nod in response to his friend’s words, Jeff forced a smile, but it slipped quickly and he shivered as the loss of Nick’s body heat registered. The blond wrapped his arms around himself and let his gaze fall to the ground. Maybe, if he was lucky, the heat that he could feel rising in his cheeks would go unnoticed due to the mess of tear-stains.
He knew, on some level, that Nick was right, but it was hard to simply forget or ignore it. It was a sensitive topic, and it wasn’t as if Andy was someone he’d never have to face again... Jeff blinked, pulled from his thoughts as Nick started to move him, but he followed obediently, and sat down on his bed. He bit his lip as the other boy sat next to him, and leaned against Nick when he was pulled closer. Nick was so... solid; like a rock - but a comfortable one. He almost always managed to keep his cool when it was important, too, and Jeff was grateful for that, especially right then.
“How’s your hand?” he asked quietly, fidgeting with the bracelet around his own wrist until it came undone.
Nick didn't notice Jeff's reddening cheeks, nor would he have guessed the reason for such a reaction had he been paying attention. He was much more focused on trying to get Jeff to smile again. He was glad that they were sitting now, and he was more than happy to lift the arm around his friend's shoulders to move so that his fingers could carefully fiddle with the other boy's hair.
“Your brother has a hard face,” Nick joked, trying his best to lighten the mood after being asked about his hand. Trust Jeff to be more concerned about Nick than he was about himself. It was one of the many things that Nick both admired and loved about his best friend, though right now, it most definitely wasn't called for.
Truthfully, Nick's knuckles hurt and he was pretty sure that he hadn't balled his fist correctly. Then again, he had never actually punched anybody before, so he hadn't known the correct way to throw one. In fact, he had never imagined ever having to need to know such a thing. “I'll be fine,” he said a moment later, not wanting Jeff to worry. After all, he'd be okay. Bruised knuckles healed but harsh and unnecessary comments left scars. Nick was much more concerned for Jeff in that moment than he was about his own hand.
Continuing to let the blonde locks pass gently through his fingers, Nick sighed to himself and rolled his head slightly. Smiling at the feeling of Jeff's hair against his cheek, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence for a few moments before he began to hum to himself. He wasn't entirely sure what the song was to begin with, but there was no mistaking that it eventually started to sound like 'I'll Stand By You'.
Jeff tried to laugh, but he only managed a weak grin. “It’s all the bricks in his head,” he mumbled, but there was no bite to his voice. He wasn’t working on auto-pilot, per se, but he definitely wasn’t completely in tune with himself, either. He wasn’t entirely sure where the saying had come from, given that Andy was the smarter of the two Sterling boys, but Jeff had been saying it for years now. There had to have been a story behind it, but he just didn’t remember. Saying it made him feel marginally better, though.
A sigh of relief escaped when Nick reassured him that he would be okay; he knew that Nick wasn’t a fighter, so he wasn’t exactly used to punching things. It could hurt, even when you were used to it. But, mostly, Jeff was just glad that Andy hadn’t had a chance to retaliate - because Nick would, without a doubt, have been much worse off had that been the case.
Without meaning to, Jeff nuzzled into his best friend’s shoulder as his hair was stroked and let his own eyes close as well. His thoughts began to stir again as the pair lapsed into momentary silence, but then Nick’s humming broke through and the blond managed a faint smile as the song turned recognizable. No matter the cause behind it, it was nice to just sit there together, to feel Nick’s fingers running through his hair as he listened to the boy he loved humming. It was a welcome comfort, and Jeff couldn’t bring himself to be upset that it was making him fall even harder for his best friend.
Nick did manage a laugh at what Jeff said, unable to stop himself from scoffing. He knew that Andy wasn't exactly stupid, despite what had happened that evening, but the phrase was still amusing to him. “It felt like it,” he said quietly, hoping that Jeff wasn't too concerned. He was sure that with an ice pack or something, he'd be fine. Besides, the punch had happened for good reason.
Feeling his best friend cosy up to him caused Nick to sigh contently to himself in between verses. No sooner had he stopped that he continued, slowly humming his way through the entire song as his fingers continued to run through Jeff's hair. Once the song was over, he opened his eyes and turned his head slightly in order to peer down at the blonde mop of hair beneath his cheek.
“Hey, Jeff?” he muttered quietly, “No matter what, I'll always be here for you.” He hoped that the other boy already knew this but Nick felt as though it was a good time to remind his friend of that fact.
Shifting, Jeff turned inward a little, curling himself more towards Nick, and let his own arm drape across the brunette’s chest, hand resting at his waist. His fingers curled into the fabric of Nick’s shirt as he listened. A light blush dusted over his cheeks as Jeff allowed himself to relax completely, drawn in by his friend’s heat and the calming sensation that lingered even after Nick had stopped humming.
After a moment, Jeff nodded at the reassurance. But the words made him wonder - how could they not? Was that Nick’s way of saying that he knew? Because he knew that Nick would never come right out and ask, nor would he just say it, not like everyone else seemed to do so easily. He couldn’t let himself go there, though, or Jeff knew that he’d only drive himself crazy. “I know,” he murmured instead, lifting his head from his friend’s shoulder in order to look up at him, “I-” love you. The blond shook his head slightly, and then let it rest against Nick’s shoulder again. His breath ghosted across the other boy’s neck as he whispered, “Thank you, Nicky.”
Being so close to Jeff made Nick smile. The fact that the other boy seemed to be snuggling in only served to make him happier, though he was sure that the contentment he felt at that moment wasn't only because his best friend was hugging him. The object of his affections - the newest (and frankly, the only) addition to his list of crushes - was holding him tightly and it felt amazing. Truthfully, he could have sat there being clung to forever, so long as it was Jeff who was the one with his arms wrapped around him.
It was with a sharp dose of reality that Nick came back down to earth a moment later, his eyes focusing on his friend as the other boy pulled back. It seemed as though Jeff was going to say something, though he obviously thought better of it. As curious as he was, Nick didn't push. Instead he grinned, happy in the knowledge that Jeff had been told explicitly that he would always have a friend in Nick. Whilst the shorter boy could only dream of it being more, he was definitely happy enough to be Jeff's best friend for as long as the other boy wanted him.
“You're welcome, buttercup,” Nick said, deciding to be bold as he turned his head and placed a soft and (hopefully) comforting kiss to the other boy's golden locks.
Slowly, Jeff let go off the material caught between his fingers, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he let his thumb run absentmindedly up and down a small length of Nick’s side and closed his eyes again - but only for a moment. He didn’t tense, or really move at all, but his eyes shot open at the kiss. It was gentle, a barely there sort of feeling, but Jeff knew, if only because of the way his heart seemed to stutter in its rhythm for a fleeting moment.
It should have hurt, having Nick kiss him like that and knowing that it meant nothing out of the ordinary, but Jeff only felt a happy, fluttery sort of feeling in his stomach. Until very recently, it had been a long time since the blond had felt that around anyone, and now... It was only around Nick, but Jeff was okay with that. The friendship that the two of them shared was enough for him - it had to be. And he couldn’t complain, not really. Their friendship was different from any other that Jeff had observed - it was almost as if it ran... deeper. So, yes, it was enough for him, so long as Nick was still at his side. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he mused quietly.
Nick was slightly nervous once he realised just what he'd done. It wasn't unusual for the pair of them to be so affectionate, even less so when one of them was upset. But this had been the first time such a thing had happened since Nick discovered his crush. Therefore he felt an odd squirm in his stomach as Jeff spoke. Glad that the other boy hadn't looked up on account of his own flushed cheeks, he smiled softly.
“Be your amazingly awesome self,” he answered quietly, letting his palm skim Jeff's upper arm as he pulled him in a little closer. Really, that was all Jeff had done. Nick loved being the other boy's best friend so much because of what a brilliant person Jeff was.
Jeff allowed himself to be pulled closer without a protest, and he pushed down a shiver as Nick’s hand grazed his arm. The touch was electric in a way that the blond still wasn’t used to, but that he wanted to feel again and again. Most of the time, that scared him, because he still worried that his feelings could tear down their friendship, but in that moment, it was a welcome sensation.
He shook his head when the brunet spoke, a faint smile playing at his lips. “Doubt it,” he countered, his face tilted up slightly as he let his nose brush along Nick’s jaw, “But thank you.” Nick meant well, of course, but Jeff couldn’t really be that amazing or awesome if his brother was so against him, could he? Hell, even he and Jamie had been ‘feuding’ for weeks now...
Letting his own shiver run across his skin as he felt the brush to his jaw, Nick gulped slightly and froze in place. He didn’t want to disturb Jeff’s movements, actually finding the heat from the other boy’s naked torso comforting. He had seen the blonde in this state before (and dressed in even less, he remembered), but he didn’t want to look down and stare. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of such things.
Pouting slightly at Jeff’s rebuttal, Nick sighed. “You think I’m wrong?” he asked, letting his fingers trace the muscle of his friend’s arm, “You’re brilliant, dude. You’re my best friend for a million different reasons, all of them awesome.” He wasn’t quite sure why Jeff was putting himself down but it hurt him. Really, couldn’t the other boy see just how great he was?
“Only about this,” he mumbled, giving a weak shrug as he misinterpreted his friend’s frozen posture. It wasn’t anything against Nick, really, he knew that his best friend wasn’t a liar; Jeff had just been dropped feet first into a pit of insecurity and self-depreciation. It was bound to pass, though, and he’d be back to being the over-dramatic and cheerful Jeff that everyone knew and - he hoped - loved.
He flushed once again as Nick continued, even if the words caused another weird fluttering in his stomach. Best friend. It wasn’t as if it was something new, but it was still a painful reminder that such was all they’d ever be. “I’m sorry,” Jeff whispered, gesturing vaguely, uncertain of how to explain, “I just...”
Shaking his head, Nick sighed. “You don’t have to apologise,” he muttered, “You never have to apologise to me.” And that was the truth. Nothing about this situation had been Jeff’s fault. He just wished that his friend could place the blame where it belonged and not try to put it on himself.
Sitting in silence for a few more moments, Nick pulled away slightly and looked down at Jeff. “You’re perfect just the way you are,” he whispered, bringing the hand not wrapped around his friend up in order to rest under the other boy’s chin. Tilting his face up, Nick forced down the overwhelming urge to lean in for a kiss, instead offering the blonde a weak smile, “You’re perfect and I love you, and everyone else loves you too.”
That probably wasn’t true; as close as they were, no pair of best friends could go through life without having at least a few minor squabbles - so Jeff was bound to need to apologize at some point... but he supposed that wasn’t the point right then. “Okay,” he finally agreed, his voice still a bit more hesitant than he figured Nick would have liked.
Jeff blinked as Nick pulled away, and he felt his stomach flip with nerves at the feel of his friend’s fingers against his chin. He was dreaming now, wasn’t he? Maybe this whole thing was a dream... That would be nice, actually, if none of what had happened earlier had been real. Except then Nick was speaking, and he was pretty sure that if this was a dream, that wasn’t what would be happening. His blush darkened, both in response to his friends words, but also from his own embarrassment. Stupid, stupid, stupid... Try as he might, though, Jeff couldn’t stop his gaze from dropping to Nick’s lips. He was quick to avert it, though, reminding himself that he couldn’t - shouldn’t.
His eyes were damp as he looked up at Nick again, and Jeff licked his lips absently before shifting to wrap his arms around the brunette’s neck, not caring if it meant that he was partly in Nick’s lap now. “I love you too, Nicky,” he murmured, and that was okay, right? It’d had been... a while since he’d said that to the other boy, because he really didn’t want Nick to see through him. But right now, well, Nick had said it first, so of course he wasn’t going to read into Jeff’s response, right?
Although Jeff’s voice was hesitant, Nick didn’t mention it. He had said what he had needed to say and Jeff had listened. It was up to the other boy to decide whether he believed Nick’s words. The brunette hoped that was the case, of course, but Jeff wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to think too much right now and Nick understood.
Likewise, Nick didn’t mind that Jeff was practically sitting on him. The contact was nice and he would be endlessly thankful that the pair of them were comfortable enough with one another to not care about personal space. During times like this, when one of them needed comfort, it was more than acceptable. “I know you do,” he whispered, ignoring the flip of his stomach. It wasn’t in the same way Nick loved Jeff and he knew that, so really, it didn’t warrant more thought. All that mattered was that they had both said it and that it was true in whatever capacity.
Letting one arm hook more around Jeff’s back, Nick pulled the blonde a little closer and turned his head, pressing his cheek lightly against the side of his friend’s head. He fell silent then, choosing instead to enjoy the feel of his best friend sitting so close.
Glad for the silence and the proximity, Jeff shifted to straddle Nick’s lap, his arms still around his friend’s neck. He pressed gently against Nick’s cheek for a moment before dropping his head down so that he could nuzzle into the brunette’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he mumbled, letting his eyes close as he hoped that the other boy couldn’t feel the way that his heart was pounding in his chest.
He didn’t care what it looked like, though. For that moment, even if Nick was putting the pieces together, Jeff didn’t care how they looked. If Andy - or anyone else - walked in and saw him half naked in Nick’s lap, then he didn’t care what they thought. All that mattered was that Nick was there, and that he was providing the same stable, unassuming and loving presence that he always has - and that was all that Jeff could really ask for.
Nick wasn’t entirely sure how long the pair of them sat like that. He didn’t mind at all, content to hold the other boy so close. It was almost serene, the aftermath of what had happened at dinner finally settling down peacefully. Nick knew both he and Jeff had to face Andy at some point but for now he didn’t want to think about it. So he focused on the sound of his and Jeff’s breathing, both of which eventually regulated and synced together as one.
Mentioned: Jamie, Coraline Duval, The Sterlings
What: Nick goes to comfort Jeff in the aftermath of his older brother calling him a f****t
Where: Jeff’s room at his parents’ house, Upper Arlington, OH
When: Thursday, Novemeber 24th, 2011; Thanksgiving
Rating: SFW
When he woke up that morning, Jeff had anticipated that his brother would prove, once again, that he was an asshole - but he hadn’t expected him to do it to the extent that he had. Nor had he expected his best friend to give Andy such a well-deserved punch. But life never really worked out the way people anticipated it to, did it? Especially not around the Holidays.
The blond suspected that he’d been in a shallow state of shock when it had first occurred, but in the hour or so that had passed, Jeff could feel himself starting to crumble. His mind was reeling, but he couldn’t just excuse himself from dinner. Once the meal had ended, however, he had stolen away to his room. Darcy had all but kidnapped Jamie and dragged him back to her own room, his parents were tidying up, and the blond was fairly certain that Coraline had pulled Nick aside to ‘have a word with him.’ He didn’t particularly care where Andy had gotten off to. Amidst all of this, Jeff had assumed that he would manage to slip away undetected.
Closing the door behind himself, Jeff leaned back against it for a moment and closed his eyes. He was not going to let himself cry over this - he wasn’t a child! Andy had never liked him, and the two brothers had always been at odds with one another; he should have been expecting this. But it still hurt - he figured that it would hurt no matter who it had come from, but for it to have been from his own flesh and blood? It stung. He wiped at his eyes angrily as a bit of moisture escaped and then looked around. Settling his gaze on his closet, Jeff wiped at his eyes again and then quickly shed his shirt, dropped it to the floor and then crossed the room.
Flipping through his hangers, Jeff cursed himself under his breath. He couldn’t really blame Andy, though, could he? He might as well have been asking for it -- and God, was every shirt he owned pink? Frustrated, he banged his hand against the frame of the closet and bit back a sob. What was the point? He wasn’t fooling anyone - not even himself - so what the Hell was the point?
Nick had more than a few words from his mother. As soon as she'd been able to, Coraline had pulled him aside and given him a very stern talking to, and wouldn't even stop to hear the explanation that he attempted to give her. With all due respect, he deserved it. He had acted out of turn and done something extremely drastic, and it was all he could do to hope that the Sterlings didn't judge him too much for his actions. Truth be told, he'd never especially liked Andy. Punching him in the face during a holiday meal though? Even Nick felt that his actions were unacceptable.
Once his mother was finished chastising him, Nick went to apologise to Jeff's parents. Once that was done, he began his search for his best friend. He didn't know where Andy was and didn't particularly care (though he had been told by his mother to apologise at the earliest possible moment) and he could hear Jamie and Darcy through the girl's bedroom door as he passed, so he guessed that Jeff was on his own. The most logical place to look was the other boy's bedroom, and so Nick padded down the familiar corridor and paused outside.
Curious as to what the banging sound coming from inside was, he didn't bother to knock. Opening the door, he instantly frowned and rather quickly crossed the room in order to stop by Jeff. Resting a light hand on the other boy's shoulder, Nick bit his lip and tried his best not to look too worried (even though he most certainly was). He could tell just how upset his best friend was and it practically broke his heart as his gaze flickered over Jeff's face.
“C'mere,” he whispered, turning the other boy towards him in the hopes of giving him a hug.
Oblivious to the sounds of his door opening, Jeff jumped slightly at the hand on his shoulder, but relaxed at the sound of Nick’s voice. It was true, he’d wanted to be alone, but if someone had to come looking for him, Jeff was glad that it had been his best friend. Without a word, he accepted the offer, his arms winding around the shorter boy as he hugged Nick tightly. Just like that, it was as if a dam had broken and tears welled in his eyes, spilling over before he could stop them and fight them back down.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out after a minute or so. Clinging a little tighter, Jeff tried his hardest to get himself back under control, but it was slow going. Which only upset him more, because how was he meant to explain that? Nick would want to know why he was so upset, wouldn’t he? Saying that he hated hearing such offensive terms would only explain so much, even when considering that Andy had said such a thing in front of two friends who Jeff knew weren’t straight. Shouldn’t he have just been angry, then, and not crying like a baby?
As soon as Jeff latched onto him, Nick wrapped his arms around the other boy and began to rub up and down his back. He let his eyes close, the pressure on his lip increasing as he tried not to get upset at the sound of his best friend crying. It was difficult to keep his emotions in check, though he tried his best to be strong. Jeff needed somebody at the moment and Nick was going to be that person.
“Why are you apologising?” he whispered, turning his head to the side slightly in order to brush the tip of his nose against the other boy's hair, “Don't be silly. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Truthfully, Nick didn't care why Jeff was so upset. All that mattered to him was that it was happening and he was willing to do everything possible to stop his friend from feeling bad. He might have had more than a suspicion as to why such a slur had caused such a powerful reaction but now was most definitely not the time to discuss it. The topic was Jeff's business and, no matter what Nick suspected, he would wait until his best friend was ready to talk about it. At the moment, there were slightly more pressing matters at hand.
“For-” Blubbering all over him? Soaking his shirt? Having such a dick for a brother? For keeping such a big secret from him? For being such a-
No. No. He knew better than that, and he owed it not only to himself, but also to so many of his friends not to be so stupid about this. Instead of continuing, Jeff simply whined and gave a small shake of his head. It had probably been a rhetorical question, anyway. “I don’t know w-why I’m s...” he whimpered after another moment or two, “I’m not...” But he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t protest it anymore, not right then, but he couldn’t admit it, either.
At the whine, Nick tightened his hold momentarily. Squeezing his best friend lightly, he gradually eased himself away and rested both hands on the other boy's shoulders. Letting his eyes sweep over Jeff's face again, Nick shook his head and forced an extremely weak smile as he raised one hand up to brush at the blonde's cheek. Once all of his tears had gone from one side, Nick occupied himself with brushing the other cheek before he gave a satisfied nod.
“No more crying, okay?” he said, his tone still low, “Both of us know that your brother and his opinions aren't worth the tears.”
Although Nick felt a little bad for saying negative things about Andy, the other boy deserved it in his mind. It didn't matter if it was a stranger or his own blood; Nick wouldn't tolerate anybody hurting Jeff. To see his best friend in such a state almost caused Nick to feel physical pain, the sight was so heartbreaking. He simply couldn't deal with knowing that Jeff was upset.
As carefully as he could, Nick walked backwards and eased Jeff along with him by the shoulders. As soon as the backs of his legs touched the edge of the bed, the shorter boy turned around and guided Jeff down to sit before he moved to mimic him. Now sitting side by side, Nick draped one arm over the other boy's shoulders and pulled him close, his cheek coming to rest against Jeff's hair.
Sniffling in a way that Jeff really hoped wasn’t too pitiful, he stilled and watched Nick as the other boy wiped his tears away. More gathered in his eyes, but they didn’t fall, so Jeff was confident enough that the worst had passed. At least, he was hopeful that it had. With a nod in response to his friend’s words, Jeff forced a smile, but it slipped quickly and he shivered as the loss of Nick’s body heat registered. The blond wrapped his arms around himself and let his gaze fall to the ground. Maybe, if he was lucky, the heat that he could feel rising in his cheeks would go unnoticed due to the mess of tear-stains.
He knew, on some level, that Nick was right, but it was hard to simply forget or ignore it. It was a sensitive topic, and it wasn’t as if Andy was someone he’d never have to face again... Jeff blinked, pulled from his thoughts as Nick started to move him, but he followed obediently, and sat down on his bed. He bit his lip as the other boy sat next to him, and leaned against Nick when he was pulled closer. Nick was so... solid; like a rock - but a comfortable one. He almost always managed to keep his cool when it was important, too, and Jeff was grateful for that, especially right then.
“How’s your hand?” he asked quietly, fidgeting with the bracelet around his own wrist until it came undone.
Nick didn't notice Jeff's reddening cheeks, nor would he have guessed the reason for such a reaction had he been paying attention. He was much more focused on trying to get Jeff to smile again. He was glad that they were sitting now, and he was more than happy to lift the arm around his friend's shoulders to move so that his fingers could carefully fiddle with the other boy's hair.
“Your brother has a hard face,” Nick joked, trying his best to lighten the mood after being asked about his hand. Trust Jeff to be more concerned about Nick than he was about himself. It was one of the many things that Nick both admired and loved about his best friend, though right now, it most definitely wasn't called for.
Truthfully, Nick's knuckles hurt and he was pretty sure that he hadn't balled his fist correctly. Then again, he had never actually punched anybody before, so he hadn't known the correct way to throw one. In fact, he had never imagined ever having to need to know such a thing. “I'll be fine,” he said a moment later, not wanting Jeff to worry. After all, he'd be okay. Bruised knuckles healed but harsh and unnecessary comments left scars. Nick was much more concerned for Jeff in that moment than he was about his own hand.
Continuing to let the blonde locks pass gently through his fingers, Nick sighed to himself and rolled his head slightly. Smiling at the feeling of Jeff's hair against his cheek, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence for a few moments before he began to hum to himself. He wasn't entirely sure what the song was to begin with, but there was no mistaking that it eventually started to sound like 'I'll Stand By You'.
Jeff tried to laugh, but he only managed a weak grin. “It’s all the bricks in his head,” he mumbled, but there was no bite to his voice. He wasn’t working on auto-pilot, per se, but he definitely wasn’t completely in tune with himself, either. He wasn’t entirely sure where the saying had come from, given that Andy was the smarter of the two Sterling boys, but Jeff had been saying it for years now. There had to have been a story behind it, but he just didn’t remember. Saying it made him feel marginally better, though.
A sigh of relief escaped when Nick reassured him that he would be okay; he knew that Nick wasn’t a fighter, so he wasn’t exactly used to punching things. It could hurt, even when you were used to it. But, mostly, Jeff was just glad that Andy hadn’t had a chance to retaliate - because Nick would, without a doubt, have been much worse off had that been the case.
Without meaning to, Jeff nuzzled into his best friend’s shoulder as his hair was stroked and let his own eyes close as well. His thoughts began to stir again as the pair lapsed into momentary silence, but then Nick’s humming broke through and the blond managed a faint smile as the song turned recognizable. No matter the cause behind it, it was nice to just sit there together, to feel Nick’s fingers running through his hair as he listened to the boy he loved humming. It was a welcome comfort, and Jeff couldn’t bring himself to be upset that it was making him fall even harder for his best friend.
Nick did manage a laugh at what Jeff said, unable to stop himself from scoffing. He knew that Andy wasn't exactly stupid, despite what had happened that evening, but the phrase was still amusing to him. “It felt like it,” he said quietly, hoping that Jeff wasn't too concerned. He was sure that with an ice pack or something, he'd be fine. Besides, the punch had happened for good reason.
Feeling his best friend cosy up to him caused Nick to sigh contently to himself in between verses. No sooner had he stopped that he continued, slowly humming his way through the entire song as his fingers continued to run through Jeff's hair. Once the song was over, he opened his eyes and turned his head slightly in order to peer down at the blonde mop of hair beneath his cheek.
“Hey, Jeff?” he muttered quietly, “No matter what, I'll always be here for you.” He hoped that the other boy already knew this but Nick felt as though it was a good time to remind his friend of that fact.
Shifting, Jeff turned inward a little, curling himself more towards Nick, and let his own arm drape across the brunette’s chest, hand resting at his waist. His fingers curled into the fabric of Nick’s shirt as he listened. A light blush dusted over his cheeks as Jeff allowed himself to relax completely, drawn in by his friend’s heat and the calming sensation that lingered even after Nick had stopped humming.
After a moment, Jeff nodded at the reassurance. But the words made him wonder - how could they not? Was that Nick’s way of saying that he knew? Because he knew that Nick would never come right out and ask, nor would he just say it, not like everyone else seemed to do so easily. He couldn’t let himself go there, though, or Jeff knew that he’d only drive himself crazy. “I know,” he murmured instead, lifting his head from his friend’s shoulder in order to look up at him, “I-” love you. The blond shook his head slightly, and then let it rest against Nick’s shoulder again. His breath ghosted across the other boy’s neck as he whispered, “Thank you, Nicky.”
Being so close to Jeff made Nick smile. The fact that the other boy seemed to be snuggling in only served to make him happier, though he was sure that the contentment he felt at that moment wasn't only because his best friend was hugging him. The object of his affections - the newest (and frankly, the only) addition to his list of crushes - was holding him tightly and it felt amazing. Truthfully, he could have sat there being clung to forever, so long as it was Jeff who was the one with his arms wrapped around him.
It was with a sharp dose of reality that Nick came back down to earth a moment later, his eyes focusing on his friend as the other boy pulled back. It seemed as though Jeff was going to say something, though he obviously thought better of it. As curious as he was, Nick didn't push. Instead he grinned, happy in the knowledge that Jeff had been told explicitly that he would always have a friend in Nick. Whilst the shorter boy could only dream of it being more, he was definitely happy enough to be Jeff's best friend for as long as the other boy wanted him.
“You're welcome, buttercup,” Nick said, deciding to be bold as he turned his head and placed a soft and (hopefully) comforting kiss to the other boy's golden locks.
Slowly, Jeff let go off the material caught between his fingers, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he let his thumb run absentmindedly up and down a small length of Nick’s side and closed his eyes again - but only for a moment. He didn’t tense, or really move at all, but his eyes shot open at the kiss. It was gentle, a barely there sort of feeling, but Jeff knew, if only because of the way his heart seemed to stutter in its rhythm for a fleeting moment.
It should have hurt, having Nick kiss him like that and knowing that it meant nothing out of the ordinary, but Jeff only felt a happy, fluttery sort of feeling in his stomach. Until very recently, it had been a long time since the blond had felt that around anyone, and now... It was only around Nick, but Jeff was okay with that. The friendship that the two of them shared was enough for him - it had to be. And he couldn’t complain, not really. Their friendship was different from any other that Jeff had observed - it was almost as if it ran... deeper. So, yes, it was enough for him, so long as Nick was still at his side. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he mused quietly.
Nick was slightly nervous once he realised just what he'd done. It wasn't unusual for the pair of them to be so affectionate, even less so when one of them was upset. But this had been the first time such a thing had happened since Nick discovered his crush. Therefore he felt an odd squirm in his stomach as Jeff spoke. Glad that the other boy hadn't looked up on account of his own flushed cheeks, he smiled softly.
“Be your amazingly awesome self,” he answered quietly, letting his palm skim Jeff's upper arm as he pulled him in a little closer. Really, that was all Jeff had done. Nick loved being the other boy's best friend so much because of what a brilliant person Jeff was.
Jeff allowed himself to be pulled closer without a protest, and he pushed down a shiver as Nick’s hand grazed his arm. The touch was electric in a way that the blond still wasn’t used to, but that he wanted to feel again and again. Most of the time, that scared him, because he still worried that his feelings could tear down their friendship, but in that moment, it was a welcome sensation.
He shook his head when the brunet spoke, a faint smile playing at his lips. “Doubt it,” he countered, his face tilted up slightly as he let his nose brush along Nick’s jaw, “But thank you.” Nick meant well, of course, but Jeff couldn’t really be that amazing or awesome if his brother was so against him, could he? Hell, even he and Jamie had been ‘feuding’ for weeks now...
Letting his own shiver run across his skin as he felt the brush to his jaw, Nick gulped slightly and froze in place. He didn’t want to disturb Jeff’s movements, actually finding the heat from the other boy’s naked torso comforting. He had seen the blonde in this state before (and dressed in even less, he remembered), but he didn’t want to look down and stare. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of such things.
Pouting slightly at Jeff’s rebuttal, Nick sighed. “You think I’m wrong?” he asked, letting his fingers trace the muscle of his friend’s arm, “You’re brilliant, dude. You’re my best friend for a million different reasons, all of them awesome.” He wasn’t quite sure why Jeff was putting himself down but it hurt him. Really, couldn’t the other boy see just how great he was?
“Only about this,” he mumbled, giving a weak shrug as he misinterpreted his friend’s frozen posture. It wasn’t anything against Nick, really, he knew that his best friend wasn’t a liar; Jeff had just been dropped feet first into a pit of insecurity and self-depreciation. It was bound to pass, though, and he’d be back to being the over-dramatic and cheerful Jeff that everyone knew and - he hoped - loved.
He flushed once again as Nick continued, even if the words caused another weird fluttering in his stomach. Best friend. It wasn’t as if it was something new, but it was still a painful reminder that such was all they’d ever be. “I’m sorry,” Jeff whispered, gesturing vaguely, uncertain of how to explain, “I just...”
Shaking his head, Nick sighed. “You don’t have to apologise,” he muttered, “You never have to apologise to me.” And that was the truth. Nothing about this situation had been Jeff’s fault. He just wished that his friend could place the blame where it belonged and not try to put it on himself.
Sitting in silence for a few more moments, Nick pulled away slightly and looked down at Jeff. “You’re perfect just the way you are,” he whispered, bringing the hand not wrapped around his friend up in order to rest under the other boy’s chin. Tilting his face up, Nick forced down the overwhelming urge to lean in for a kiss, instead offering the blonde a weak smile, “You’re perfect and I love you, and everyone else loves you too.”
That probably wasn’t true; as close as they were, no pair of best friends could go through life without having at least a few minor squabbles - so Jeff was bound to need to apologize at some point... but he supposed that wasn’t the point right then. “Okay,” he finally agreed, his voice still a bit more hesitant than he figured Nick would have liked.
Jeff blinked as Nick pulled away, and he felt his stomach flip with nerves at the feel of his friend’s fingers against his chin. He was dreaming now, wasn’t he? Maybe this whole thing was a dream... That would be nice, actually, if none of what had happened earlier had been real. Except then Nick was speaking, and he was pretty sure that if this was a dream, that wasn’t what would be happening. His blush darkened, both in response to his friends words, but also from his own embarrassment. Stupid, stupid, stupid... Try as he might, though, Jeff couldn’t stop his gaze from dropping to Nick’s lips. He was quick to avert it, though, reminding himself that he couldn’t - shouldn’t.
His eyes were damp as he looked up at Nick again, and Jeff licked his lips absently before shifting to wrap his arms around the brunette’s neck, not caring if it meant that he was partly in Nick’s lap now. “I love you too, Nicky,” he murmured, and that was okay, right? It’d had been... a while since he’d said that to the other boy, because he really didn’t want Nick to see through him. But right now, well, Nick had said it first, so of course he wasn’t going to read into Jeff’s response, right?
Although Jeff’s voice was hesitant, Nick didn’t mention it. He had said what he had needed to say and Jeff had listened. It was up to the other boy to decide whether he believed Nick’s words. The brunette hoped that was the case, of course, but Jeff wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to think too much right now and Nick understood.
Likewise, Nick didn’t mind that Jeff was practically sitting on him. The contact was nice and he would be endlessly thankful that the pair of them were comfortable enough with one another to not care about personal space. During times like this, when one of them needed comfort, it was more than acceptable. “I know you do,” he whispered, ignoring the flip of his stomach. It wasn’t in the same way Nick loved Jeff and he knew that, so really, it didn’t warrant more thought. All that mattered was that they had both said it and that it was true in whatever capacity.
Letting one arm hook more around Jeff’s back, Nick pulled the blonde a little closer and turned his head, pressing his cheek lightly against the side of his friend’s head. He fell silent then, choosing instead to enjoy the feel of his best friend sitting so close.
Glad for the silence and the proximity, Jeff shifted to straddle Nick’s lap, his arms still around his friend’s neck. He pressed gently against Nick’s cheek for a moment before dropping his head down so that he could nuzzle into the brunette’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he mumbled, letting his eyes close as he hoped that the other boy couldn’t feel the way that his heart was pounding in his chest.
He didn’t care what it looked like, though. For that moment, even if Nick was putting the pieces together, Jeff didn’t care how they looked. If Andy - or anyone else - walked in and saw him half naked in Nick’s lap, then he didn’t care what they thought. All that mattered was that Nick was there, and that he was providing the same stable, unassuming and loving presence that he always has - and that was all that Jeff could really ask for.
Nick wasn’t entirely sure how long the pair of them sat like that. He didn’t mind at all, content to hold the other boy so close. It was almost serene, the aftermath of what had happened at dinner finally settling down peacefully. Nick knew both he and Jeff had to face Andy at some point but for now he didn’t want to think about it. So he focused on the sound of his and Jeff’s breathing, both of which eventually regulated and synced together as one.