Just a year ago (2)
This is the second MSN conversation I had written for Kitty at a time when we didn't have any place to play Maël and Bryce. It was in French but I translated it. The first one is here, and the emails mentioned by Maël are here.
Who: Maël and his best friend Gaëtane
When: December 28th, 2010
Rating: SFW except if vague allusions count as NSFW
Gaëtane Chouchou ! You're online!
Maël Hi!
Yes, I thought I still had a chance to find you at this time.
Gaëtane I was bored (nothing interesting to do), so it's good timing. What are you doing?
Maël I've just finished writing an email and now I don't know what to do either. There are things I should do but...can't be bothered.
Gaëtane Who did you write to? (I bet you'll say it's none of my business but you know I don't care.)
Maël Indeed, it's none of your business. But if you really want to know, I wrote to Bryce.
Gaëtane
Maël I would have bet a million for that reply!
Gaëtane (Million of dollars or million of euros? ^^) You miss him, don't you? He's not coming back until the end of the break?
Maël (It makes no difference. I don't have it anyway.) No. Well, yes then no, in the order of the questions. But I miss you even more because it's been a much longer time since I last saw you.
Gaëtane I hope you do! I'm your best friend, after all - it counts more than a temporary best friend!
Maël So you're jealous now?
Gaëtane It depends. Do you like him more than you like me?
Maël You have a way to formulate things... [Quoted from TV show Kaamelott: Perceval - And that's why you don't like me. / Arthur - What do you mean, I don't like you? / Perceval - You like me? / Arthur - Come on, you have a way to formulate things...]
Gaëtane
I know. So?
Maël So...yes?
Gaëtane
WHAT, WHAT and WHAT again?!
Maël
Jealous!
Gaëtane Well, yes, but zut, quoi ! *I* have been you're best friend for almost ten years!
Maël I'm kidding. Or more exactly, it's not the same.
Gaëtane Because I'm a girl?
Maël No, rather because you don't tell me I'm "adorable, sweet, and amazingly talented".
Gaëtane OH! He told you that?
Maël Wrote it.
Gaëtane If you still dare doubt he likes you after that...
Maël I don't doubt it. He wrote it right before ("I like you").
Gaëtane Aw!
Maël Calm down, Gaët!
Gaëtane Oh yes, I know what you're going to tell me...
Maël No, I don't think you do, but calm down anyway.
Gaëtane You're not going to tell me "but I'm not gay!"?
Maël It's more complicated than that.
Gaëtane Wait, wait... WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?
Maël Well, for a start, as weird as it can seem, that "I like you" was in his reply to a message in which I said "I'm straight" (I had to tell him sooner or later, right?).
Gaëtane Oh! And then you regretted saying it?
Maël In a way.
Gaëtane "In a way"? What do you mean?
Maël I didn't really regret it because otherwise I would still not know.
Gaëtane What? That he likes you?
Maël Yes. You were convinced he did but still, I couldn't be sure.
Gaëtane And so you're happy to know!
Maël I am...
Gaëtane
And you told him so?
Maël More or less.
Gaëtane What? Really?
Maël Actually, I wrote "I'm straight but I think I like you all the same".
Gaëtane
No, you're kidding me! Even if it's not April Fools' Day.
Maël
It's funny how you were convinced and you don't believe it, after all.
Gaëtane But seriously? You told him that?
Maël I did. Don't laugh at me!
Gaëtane I'm too astonished to laugh.
Maël Good, because I don't feel like spending an hour trying to make you understand there's no reason to laugh.
Gaëtane But Maël, you're kidding, right? You're not gay, I know it, you said it often enough!
Maël And you kept replying that it's also possible to be "half gay" or "just a little gay".
Gaëtane And I ended up convincing you?
Maël It seems so.
Gaëtane But Maël!!! Details, please! How long have you been hiding that from me?
Maël You had succeeded in perturbing me on my birthday, you know it.
Gaëtane So it's been two months and a half?
Maël Since I started wondering, yes. But the first email was only sent last week.
Gaëtane You were wondering and you didn't tell me anything? Now that's mean!
Maël I knew you wouldn't take it well.
Gaëtane But am I your best friend or not?
Maël You are, but I wanted to avoid your squeeing because, believe it or not, it gave me a shock!
Gaëtane Well, now it gives me one too!
Maël I see that. I wouldn't have imagined it.
Gaëtane So, those details?
Maël What details? I haven't seen him since then. It's not as if anything could have happened.
Gaëtane But when you see him again...
Maël We'll see.
Gaëtane What did he say after that incredible revelation?
Maël That he understood it gave me a shock because it would be a shock for him too if he was attracted to a girl that way.
Gaëtane What way, exactly?
Maël As if gender didn't matter. [In English in the original text.]
Gaëtane You don't speak French anymore?
Maël I do, but in French it would have led to confusion (unless I had made an anglicism and used "genre" like "gender"). [Said in normal French, it could have been taken as "as if sex didn't matter".]
Gaëtane
Indeed. Oh, and about that...
Maël No, no question about that!
Gaëtane Still, if you like him the same way as if he were a girl...
Maël Gaët, do I ask you what you do or consider doing with Andrea?
Gaëtane No, but I'm sure you wonder anyway!
Maël I'm not sure I want to know, actually.
Gaëtane I'm not sure he'd like you to know everything, either.
Maël There, you know, only that, it sounds like too much information.
Gaëtane
You had given me too much information about you and Juliette too, you know?
Maël But you had asked!
Gaëtane And now you're wondering if it means it's the same, right?
Maël And you want to tell me?
Gaëtane Yes. The same, not more. Not yet. But I bet you're going to think it's already too much because it's not been a very long time since we started dating.
Maël Oh, you can do whatever you want.
Gaëtane But you're still shocked, aren't you?
Maël No! Anyway, I can't give you a lecture. You know that...
Gaëtane Oh yes, Santana! (That's her name, right?) Still ashamed?
Maël (Yes.) Even more.
Gaëtane Why?
Maël Because, uh...because of the shock...I might have...you know?
Gaëtane You slept with her (again) to prove yourself you weren't gay? Oh, well done! Nice tipically manly reaction, really!
Maël I know, it's dumb. That's why I'm ashamed.
Gaëtane In a way, there's no reason to be, because you can do whatever you want, too, especially since that girl doesn't care about your reason to want it, right?
Maël Yes, you can see things that way.
Gaëtane Did you tell her why, by the way?
Maël Of course not!
Gaëtane Good! Because I would have been mad at you if I hadn't been the first to know.
Maël I thought so. But anyway, I would be a fool to tell her that. She could tell everyone. Rachel was the only one who didn't know about that story with Finn last year (even I had heard of it), so...
Gaëtane Oh, I see, you're mostly ashamed when you think everyone probably knows.
Maël Well, yes, especially because if Rachel hears what I did when she particularly hates Santana right now, she'll be mad at me.
Gaëtane Chances are she will. She's quite capable of throwing a fit, accusing you of betraying her friendship by fraternizing with the enemy (although "fraternizing" is not the right word here
).
Maël That's what I fear, yes. So I asked Santana not to tell her but if she found an interest for her to say it, she could forget that she sort of promised.
Gaëtane And that's what happens when you associate with girls who have no morals.
Maël Oh, stop it! She can be kind when she wants to.
Gaëtane Oh yes, very kind...
Maël I wasn't referring to that!
Gaëtane Okay... So you made things with her as an attempt to convince yourself you should like her more than you like Bryce...but, obviously, it didn't work. ^^
Maël Not exactly, no.
Gaëtane You just thought you would rather be with him, right?
Maël Well, yes, because... She's so detached it's offending.
Gaëtane
Maël What?
Gaëtane Nothing.
Maël Gaëtane, it's not what I meant!
Gaëtane And yet, when you say she's "detached" up to the point of offending you, it IS what you're talking about... You mean you know she does that with "everyone" and that it makes no difference for her if it's you or another, right?
Maël Yes...but it's only afterward that it bothers me, you know.
Gaëtane
I see. And now you could fear that Bryce would take it badly if he knew what you did, right?
Maël Oh, it's okay, he's not Rachel! And he's not even a girl (I'm not saying that all girls throw fits for nothing, don't get mad!). He must be able to understand. And it's not as if I had any intention to do it again.
Gaëtane You making things with a girl, no, he can't understand - he's gay!
And I think you might be tempted to do it again...but maybe it will depend on what you do with him, too.
Maël Yes, but he mentioned girls too and one can wonder what he means by "experimenting".
(If you allow me - and even if you don't, actually - I won't comment on the rest.)
Gaëtane Ah yes, one can wonder... But you didn't ask?
(I'll manage to make you say what you think at some point, anyway.)
Maël Well no, it is not done!
(First, I would have to figure out what I think.)
Gaëtane It IS done. And he's your friend, after all. It's not as if you asked personal questions to a perfect stranger.
(Only that, it's rather interesting... Anyway, I'll give you a little time to sort out your thoughts.)
Maël Your thinking it's normal to demand that I tell you lots of things that are none of your business doesn't mean that everyone is like you. Besides, it's not completely comparable.
(Very kind of you.)
Gaëtane You mean because "friend" is not exactly what you would like him to be? You think it makes the question embarrassing?
(I know, I'm adorable.)
Maël Well yes, quite so!
(And modest.
)
Gaëtane You fear he'd take the opportunity to ask if you would make things with him?
(That too! ^^)
Maël I don't think he would be so direct. He didn't even ask what I meant by "going somewhere together" when he's back.
Gaëtane Oh, you asked him for a date? ^^
Maël Avoiding to call it that, yes.
Gaëtane But you're dumb! You WANT to date him, don't you?
Maël I don't know.
Gaëtane What, you don't know?
Maël In a way, I do, but on the other hand I wonder if it's worth trying because I won't stay here eternally.
Gaëtane
You're cute, thinking that otherwise you two could be together "eternally".
Maël Oh, shut up! I mean I don't like the thought of dating someone while knowing from the start that it won't last for more than six months.
Gaëtane And what does he think?
Maël I have no idea!
Gaëtane And you never will if you don't ask!
Maël I may not feel like discussing that by email.
Gaëtane Oh! You want to talk to him directly so you can...have a hug when you say it perturbs you?
Maël If you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous.
Gaëtane No no, it's cute. ^^ Hugs and kisses?
Maël If he wants... Yes, I guess.
Gaëtane Aw!
I would so like to see that!
Maël And you don't find it hard to imagine at all, right?
Gaëtane I don't. ^^ Do you?
Maël I mostly find it hard not to think I shouldn't want to imagine.
Gaëtane You SO want to kiss him! ^^
Maël Oh, stop it!
Gaëtane What? Isn't it true?
Maël It's your fault.
Gaëtane What?
Maël Your fault if I can't help thinking of it.
Gaëtane And you're very mad at me?
Maël It depends.
Gaëtane On what?
Maël I fail to determine if it's really completely your fault (all because of your influence) or if you only made me see something that would have escaped my notice otherwise.
Gaëtane Oh, Chouchou, I know I'm amazing (
), but do you really think I have the power to manipulate your feelings?
Maël Well, right now, I'm wondering...
Gaëtane No, come on, seriously ! You know I have no responsability in the matter.
Maël How can I be sure? You may be a witch.
Gaëtane
No, because if I were one 1) I would be at Beauxbâtons, not in that lousy school in which you're not even anymore, and 2) I could have taken a Portkey to go to your birthday party (and meet your chéri).
Maël (You don't think that word is a little exaggerated?)
Gaëtane (Not so much. ^^)
Maël Okay, no matter if it's your fault or not. What does matter is: what do I do now?
Gaëtane Well, you started talking to him about it, it's already a good thing. Now, you should specify that "going somewhere together" meant "going out" as in "a date".
Maël Couldn't I rather wait and see if it can look like one?
Gaëtane You mean "going somewhere" with him as usual and decide on the fly if you can confess you'd like to call it a date?
Maël Something like that.
Gaëtane Mhm... Oh, he must suspect it, anyway, don't you think?
Maël No idea. Although, after what I've just written, maybe he does.
Gaëtane What? What? What did you write?
Maël "Where we go doesn't really matter. I just want to spend some time with you, forget that I miss almost everyone I know in France and Belgium, and...see if I can still talk to you normally after what I wrote? Not that I want to pretend I never wrote anything of that kind."
Gaëtane Not bad...but still not clear enough!
Maël I know. But I can't really ask him directly if he wants to date me.
Gaëtane Generally, that's what people do, you know?
Maël Yes, but in this case, it's complicated.
Gaëtane And it would be simpler if you didn't have to leave in 6 months?
Maël Yes, there would be one less problem.
Gaëtane What are the others?
Maël That I would risk to end up thinking I'm not in my right mind and it must stop.
Gaëtane Just because he's not a girl?
Maël Well, yes. I know, it's stupid, but I'm not gay!
Gaëtane Right know, it doesn't look like you're not.
Maël
Gaëtane I mean you said "as if gender didn't matter" earlier, so...
Maël Right now, I don't mind. Later...how could I know?
Gaëtane If you see things that way, you can never know if your interest in someone will stay, anyway.
Maël No, but generally, it's the same for the two people involved. But in this case it's mostly on my side that there could be a problem. And I would feel so guilty if...
Gaëtane If you broke his heart?
Maël It's a little ridiculous, said that way, but yes, more or less.
Gaëtane You're cute. You would renounce to date him so you wouldn't risk to hurt him... You know it proves you really like him? Because otherwise your reasoning would be much more selfish.
Maël You can see it that way, I guess.
Gaëtane
Maël Stop it!
Gaëtane Sorry. Couldn't resist. Okay, you will have to ask him what he thinks!
Maël Yes, yes, I know.
Gaëtane Next time you're going to his place, you talk to him seriously without hiding anything, right?
Maël Uh...yes.
Gaëtane What? You think of things that are really unconfessable?
Maël You bet I wouldn't tell you that!
Gaëtane
Maël Zut, Gaëtane !
Gaëtane Okay, we'll see that later, when you two are an item.
Maël Because you're completely convinced it's going to happen?
Gaëtane Of course, I am! He likes you, you like him... The rest is just details!
Maël Easy to say when you're not involved.
Gaëtane I know. Oh, by the way, what about Kurt and Sam?
Maël Well, since Kurt left McKinley, I haven't had any opportunity to look for clues, you know!
Gaëtane Ah yes, damn! You never see him anymore?
Maël From time to time.
Gaëtane Next time you'll see them together, you'll watch carefully to see if there are still clues, right?
Maël I will. But Sam looks so fascinated by Quinn now (or maybe he's just good at pretending)... I wonder if I had not imagined the clues.
Gaëtane No no, you didn't!
Maël You don't know, you haven't seen them!
Gaëtane But for you to notice, it must have been obvious! ^^
Maël Also, Kurt has a gay friend at Dalton, so I don't know...
Gaëtane Well, you'll tell me if it changed something!
Maël If you want to...
Gaëtane Nothing else to tell me?
Maël I don't know... What could still be interesting to you after the astonishing news of the day?
Gaëtane Yes, that's the problem. But if there's news on the "who's dating who" front... It's like a TV show, you know? The kind in which everyone ends up having dated everyone (and half of them don't seem to remember it two seasons later).
Maël Yes, and that's as much like a French show as like an American one.
Gaëtane Stupid shows like the reruns of "Hélène et les garçons" on AB1, exactly!
(Or rather "Premiers baisers" since it's high school, not college.) Except that in those shows, there are no gays.
Maël Not in the main cast, at least.
Gaëtane Let's say "Coeur océan", then. You're Alex! ^^
Maël I can't deny it looks like it. BUT he had started with calling Nils a faggot, and obvioulsy I would NEVER have insulted Bryce like that.
Gaëtane Of course! But later... I'm still very frustrated that he's not in season 2, by the way.
Maël I know. And mad at the Italian channel that censored the "best parts", too.
Gaëtane Yeeees! Stupid Italians!
Maël You're dating an Italian, remember?
Gaëtane
Yes, but I hope he doesn't mind, otherwise I'm breaking up with him!
Maël Speaking of that, you won't tell him anything about me and Bryce, will you?
Gaëtane You fear he would be shocked?
Maël No (well, I'm not sure) but it's not necessary to let everybody know. Especially because technically, there's nothing to know.
Gaëtane Not yet...
Maël Not yet. And maybe never. But anyway, don't tell him.
Gaëtane And even if you date Bryce for the next six months, you plan to hide it from everyone ?
Maël Not from everyone. Not from you. But the others...we'll see. I haven't thought about it yet.
Gaëtane You would be ashamed?
Maël No! Well...I would fear they wouldn't understand, because even I find it hard to understand.
Gaëtane And you don't want to look like one you can't afford to look like. [Quoted from Kaamelott again: Léodagan - If the heads of clans arrive and there are no chicks, we'll look like- / Arthur - Like what? / Léodagan - Well, like people we can't afford to look like!]
Maël In a way, I don't care (except that in this school, it would be dangerous) but on the other hand, it's true it would bother me because well, I'm not gay! Not completely straight either, it seems, but dating Bryce would be enough for everyone to believe I've never been interested in girls, and it annoys me because it's not true. And now I wonder if Santana thinks the same (well, rather the contrary, in a way).
Gaëtane What?
Maël In the long list of people with who she "made things" (as you say), there's Brittany.
Gaëtane Oh! And am I allowed to point out that the comparison gives the impression that after all, you would consider adding Bryce to your way-less-long list, or are you going to tell me off?
Maël GAËTANE!
Gaëtane Tell me off, yes, just what I expected!
Anyway, I see what you mean. The problem is not that everybody would know you like a boy but only that they would have a wrong idea of what you are because they don't seem to realise that "bi" is a possibility.
Maël Something like that.
Gaëtane Yes, I know you think that even "bi" is exaggerated for you!
Maël Let's say it depends on the definition. If we decide that it's all the shades between "straight" and "gay", even the closest to each end, obviously... But it's not how I see it.
Gaëtane I could say that it's because you don't want to be forced to change the word you use to define yourself, but I will be kind and admit that I don't see it that way either.
Maël Am I supposed to thank you for that kindness?
Gaëtane Of course you are!
Maël Just to be contrary, I won't do it, then.
Gaëtane "Vous êtes un ingrat !" (Or: "un nain gras".
) ["Vous êtes un ingrat" ("You're ungrateful"): quoted from the musical Le Roi Soleil (the King's mother says that to the Prime Minister...who's rather short and fat in that version, hence the impression that she might as well say "vous êtes un nain gras" ("you're a fat dwarf"). It would be impossible to hear the difference.]
Maël (Not true: I'm neither short or fat!)
Gaëtane (Fat, no. Short, it depends on who you stand next to.)
Maël (Oh, of course, if you saw me next to Finn...)
Gaëtane (Still not made up with Rachel, has he?)
Maël (No. It's a very stupid matter.)
Gaëtane (Why are we talking in brackets?
)
Maël (Because it started with me replying to something you had put in brackets. But after a while, it becomes ridiculous, so let's forget it. (After that, do I close the bracket anyway or not?)
Gaëtane (YES! I can't stand to see an opening bracket and to look in vain for the closing one.) So you two still go to the movies or elsewhere together? (I mean you and Rachel, not Finn!
) Beware, because she might end up thinking you'd be a good substitute!
Maël (Fussy girl! Okay, here's the closing bracket: ). Better?) Yes, sometimes. (Of course, not Finn! Well, it's "friendly invitation" anyway but... Nevermind.) I don't think she thinks about that.
Gaëtane (Much better.) Yet, you're kind, cute and all that.
Maël Here, if you succeed in justifying the absence of a "If I were her...", you're talented!
Gaëtane Oh, zut !
Maël Speaking of movies, Sam and Quinn were there too when we went to see Narnia (again). We hadn't seen them when we arrived but only when we went out of the auditorium (singing the song of the closing credits because Rachel can't help singing all the time and we followed).
Gaëtane (And the other people didn't give you weird looks?
)
Maël (They did but well, we're used to it!)
Then we stayed with them for a while and at some point I started rambling with Sam like "pity we're too old to play with plastic swords and pretend we're Peter and Edmund"...
Gaëtane lol So childish!
Maël Remind me who had a "Susan dress" made for her?
Gaëtane Okay, let's pretend I didn't say anything.
Maël You should try to convince Andrea to dress up as Caspian!
Gaëtane Aw, yes!
(But I would be surprised if he accepted to wear that kind of clothes. Because the prince's costumes look a little...)
Maël (A little "sissy"?) Anyway, I was trying to tell you... "Sam-Peter and Maël-Edmund" rambling (I avoid writing "Sam-Peter/Maël-Edmund" because you have a dirty mind
)... Quinn laughs... It could be because she thinks we're terribly childish, too, but no.
Gaëtane (Yes. The frills and the embroderies...) Are you sure it wasn't for that reason too?
Maël A little earlier, maybe. But at that moment... I didn't understand when she said we wouldn't liked to be known as "kings of Narnia" to the whole school but hold on, here comes the explanation... You'll laugh too!
["Dramatic" pause.]
Gaëtane So?!
Maël It immediately becomes clearer if the existence of the expression "so far in the closet, he's King of Narnia" is mentioned.
Gaëtane
Priceless! Especially for you two. ^^
Maël I knew you would say something like that.
Gaëtane Too tempting. ^^ But how did you react? You found it amusing, right?
Maël Yes...almost. It would probably have seemed funnier to me before you perturbed me with your "you like Bryce" but still, if only because the expression is hilarious, I just laughed too.
Gaëtane And what about him?
Maël You're hoping for a clue?
Gaëtane Of course I do!
Maël No, I don't know... He may have had a little moment of shock when he understood what Quinn was alluding to but I wasn't paying much attention.
Gaëtane But MAËL! You were supposed to look for clues! You're really useless!
Maël Sorry if I had something else on my mind!
Gaëtane Moment of shock too... You two are really alike!
Maël It's possible. But I WON'T ask him questions to see up to what point our situations are comparable.
Gaëtane How did you guess I was about to suggest you to do that? ^^
Maël I know your curiosity...and your lack of tact.
Gaëtane Mais euh ! That's not kind!
Maël You said I was useless, that's my revenge!
Gaëtane Okay, I should go to bed (before it gets out of hand).
Maël Ah yes, damn, it must be very late for you!
Gaëtane Like the middle of the night, yes. I don't care since it's the break, but it wouldn't hurt me to get some sleep.
Maël Okay, go to bed, then. I'll keep you updated.
Gaëtane Yes, you must tell me everything about you and Bryce!
Maël Promise (I'm probably going to regret that sooner or later).
Gaëtane
(Most probably!)
Maël Goodnight!
Gaëtane
Maël
Gaëtane
and
Maël
Gaëtane
Who: Maël and his best friend Gaëtane
When: December 28th, 2010
Rating: SFW except if vague allusions count as NSFW
Gaëtane Chouchou ! You're online!
Maël Hi!
Yes, I thought I still had a chance to find you at this time.
Gaëtane I was bored (nothing interesting to do), so it's good timing. What are you doing?
Maël I've just finished writing an email and now I don't know what to do either. There are things I should do but...can't be bothered.
Gaëtane Who did you write to? (I bet you'll say it's none of my business but you know I don't care.)
Maël Indeed, it's none of your business. But if you really want to know, I wrote to Bryce.
Gaëtane
Maël I would have bet a million for that reply!
Gaëtane (Million of dollars or million of euros? ^^) You miss him, don't you? He's not coming back until the end of the break?
Maël (It makes no difference. I don't have it anyway.) No. Well, yes then no, in the order of the questions. But I miss you even more because it's been a much longer time since I last saw you.
Gaëtane I hope you do! I'm your best friend, after all - it counts more than a temporary best friend!
Maël So you're jealous now?
Gaëtane It depends. Do you like him more than you like me?
Maël You have a way to formulate things... [Quoted from TV show Kaamelott: Perceval - And that's why you don't like me. / Arthur - What do you mean, I don't like you? / Perceval - You like me? / Arthur - Come on, you have a way to formulate things...]
Gaëtane
I know. So?
Maël So...yes?
Gaëtane
WHAT, WHAT and WHAT again?!
Maël
Jealous!
Gaëtane Well, yes, but zut, quoi ! *I* have been you're best friend for almost ten years!
Maël I'm kidding. Or more exactly, it's not the same.
Gaëtane Because I'm a girl?
Maël No, rather because you don't tell me I'm "adorable, sweet, and amazingly talented".
Gaëtane OH! He told you that?
Maël Wrote it.
Gaëtane If you still dare doubt he likes you after that...
Maël I don't doubt it. He wrote it right before ("I like you").
Gaëtane Aw!
Maël Calm down, Gaët!
Gaëtane Oh yes, I know what you're going to tell me...
Maël No, I don't think you do, but calm down anyway.
Gaëtane You're not going to tell me "but I'm not gay!"?
Maël It's more complicated than that.
Gaëtane Wait, wait... WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?
Maël Well, for a start, as weird as it can seem, that "I like you" was in his reply to a message in which I said "I'm straight" (I had to tell him sooner or later, right?).
Gaëtane Oh! And then you regretted saying it?
Maël In a way.
Gaëtane "In a way"? What do you mean?
Maël I didn't really regret it because otherwise I would still not know.
Gaëtane What? That he likes you?
Maël Yes. You were convinced he did but still, I couldn't be sure.
Gaëtane And so you're happy to know!
Maël I am...
Gaëtane
And you told him so?
Maël More or less.
Gaëtane What? Really?
Maël Actually, I wrote "I'm straight but I think I like you all the same".
Gaëtane
No, you're kidding me! Even if it's not April Fools' Day.
Maël
It's funny how you were convinced and you don't believe it, after all.
Gaëtane But seriously? You told him that?
Maël I did. Don't laugh at me!
Gaëtane I'm too astonished to laugh.
Maël Good, because I don't feel like spending an hour trying to make you understand there's no reason to laugh.
Gaëtane But Maël, you're kidding, right? You're not gay, I know it, you said it often enough!
Maël And you kept replying that it's also possible to be "half gay" or "just a little gay".
Gaëtane And I ended up convincing you?
Maël It seems so.
Gaëtane But Maël!!! Details, please! How long have you been hiding that from me?
Maël You had succeeded in perturbing me on my birthday, you know it.
Gaëtane So it's been two months and a half?
Maël Since I started wondering, yes. But the first email was only sent last week.
Gaëtane You were wondering and you didn't tell me anything? Now that's mean!
Maël I knew you wouldn't take it well.
Gaëtane But am I your best friend or not?
Maël You are, but I wanted to avoid your squeeing because, believe it or not, it gave me a shock!
Gaëtane Well, now it gives me one too!
Maël I see that. I wouldn't have imagined it.
Gaëtane So, those details?
Maël What details? I haven't seen him since then. It's not as if anything could have happened.
Gaëtane But when you see him again...
Maël We'll see.
Gaëtane What did he say after that incredible revelation?
Maël That he understood it gave me a shock because it would be a shock for him too if he was attracted to a girl that way.
Gaëtane What way, exactly?
Maël As if gender didn't matter. [In English in the original text.]
Gaëtane You don't speak French anymore?
Maël I do, but in French it would have led to confusion (unless I had made an anglicism and used "genre" like "gender"). [Said in normal French, it could have been taken as "as if sex didn't matter".]
Gaëtane
Indeed. Oh, and about that...
Maël No, no question about that!
Gaëtane Still, if you like him the same way as if he were a girl...
Maël Gaët, do I ask you what you do or consider doing with Andrea?
Gaëtane No, but I'm sure you wonder anyway!
Maël I'm not sure I want to know, actually.
Gaëtane I'm not sure he'd like you to know everything, either.
Maël There, you know, only that, it sounds like too much information.
Gaëtane
You had given me too much information about you and Juliette too, you know?
Maël But you had asked!
Gaëtane And now you're wondering if it means it's the same, right?
Maël And you want to tell me?
Gaëtane Yes. The same, not more. Not yet. But I bet you're going to think it's already too much because it's not been a very long time since we started dating.
Maël Oh, you can do whatever you want.
Gaëtane But you're still shocked, aren't you?
Maël No! Anyway, I can't give you a lecture. You know that...
Gaëtane Oh yes, Santana! (That's her name, right?) Still ashamed?
Maël (Yes.) Even more.
Gaëtane Why?
Maël Because, uh...because of the shock...I might have...you know?
Gaëtane You slept with her (again) to prove yourself you weren't gay? Oh, well done! Nice tipically manly reaction, really!
Maël I know, it's dumb. That's why I'm ashamed.
Gaëtane In a way, there's no reason to be, because you can do whatever you want, too, especially since that girl doesn't care about your reason to want it, right?
Maël Yes, you can see things that way.
Gaëtane Did you tell her why, by the way?
Maël Of course not!
Gaëtane Good! Because I would have been mad at you if I hadn't been the first to know.
Maël I thought so. But anyway, I would be a fool to tell her that. She could tell everyone. Rachel was the only one who didn't know about that story with Finn last year (even I had heard of it), so...
Gaëtane Oh, I see, you're mostly ashamed when you think everyone probably knows.
Maël Well, yes, especially because if Rachel hears what I did when she particularly hates Santana right now, she'll be mad at me.
Gaëtane Chances are she will. She's quite capable of throwing a fit, accusing you of betraying her friendship by fraternizing with the enemy (although "fraternizing" is not the right word here
).
Maël That's what I fear, yes. So I asked Santana not to tell her but if she found an interest for her to say it, she could forget that she sort of promised.
Gaëtane And that's what happens when you associate with girls who have no morals.
Maël Oh, stop it! She can be kind when she wants to.
Gaëtane Oh yes, very kind...
Maël I wasn't referring to that!
Gaëtane Okay... So you made things with her as an attempt to convince yourself you should like her more than you like Bryce...but, obviously, it didn't work. ^^
Maël Not exactly, no.
Gaëtane You just thought you would rather be with him, right?
Maël Well, yes, because... She's so detached it's offending.
Gaëtane
Maël What?
Gaëtane Nothing.
Maël Gaëtane, it's not what I meant!
Gaëtane And yet, when you say she's "detached" up to the point of offending you, it IS what you're talking about... You mean you know she does that with "everyone" and that it makes no difference for her if it's you or another, right?
Maël Yes...but it's only afterward that it bothers me, you know.
Gaëtane
I see. And now you could fear that Bryce would take it badly if he knew what you did, right?
Maël Oh, it's okay, he's not Rachel! And he's not even a girl (I'm not saying that all girls throw fits for nothing, don't get mad!). He must be able to understand. And it's not as if I had any intention to do it again.
Gaëtane You making things with a girl, no, he can't understand - he's gay!
And I think you might be tempted to do it again...but maybe it will depend on what you do with him, too.
Maël Yes, but he mentioned girls too and one can wonder what he means by "experimenting".
(If you allow me - and even if you don't, actually - I won't comment on the rest.)
Gaëtane Ah yes, one can wonder... But you didn't ask?
(I'll manage to make you say what you think at some point, anyway.)
Maël Well no, it is not done!
(First, I would have to figure out what I think.)
Gaëtane It IS done. And he's your friend, after all. It's not as if you asked personal questions to a perfect stranger.
(Only that, it's rather interesting... Anyway, I'll give you a little time to sort out your thoughts.)
Maël Your thinking it's normal to demand that I tell you lots of things that are none of your business doesn't mean that everyone is like you. Besides, it's not completely comparable.
(Very kind of you.)
Gaëtane You mean because "friend" is not exactly what you would like him to be? You think it makes the question embarrassing?
(I know, I'm adorable.)
Maël Well yes, quite so!
(And modest.
)
Gaëtane You fear he'd take the opportunity to ask if you would make things with him?
(That too! ^^)
Maël I don't think he would be so direct. He didn't even ask what I meant by "going somewhere together" when he's back.
Gaëtane Oh, you asked him for a date? ^^
Maël Avoiding to call it that, yes.
Gaëtane But you're dumb! You WANT to date him, don't you?
Maël I don't know.
Gaëtane What, you don't know?
Maël In a way, I do, but on the other hand I wonder if it's worth trying because I won't stay here eternally.
Gaëtane
You're cute, thinking that otherwise you two could be together "eternally".
Maël Oh, shut up! I mean I don't like the thought of dating someone while knowing from the start that it won't last for more than six months.
Gaëtane And what does he think?
Maël I have no idea!
Gaëtane And you never will if you don't ask!
Maël I may not feel like discussing that by email.
Gaëtane Oh! You want to talk to him directly so you can...have a hug when you say it perturbs you?
Maël If you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous.
Gaëtane No no, it's cute. ^^ Hugs and kisses?
Maël If he wants... Yes, I guess.
Gaëtane Aw!
I would so like to see that!
Maël And you don't find it hard to imagine at all, right?
Gaëtane I don't. ^^ Do you?
Maël I mostly find it hard not to think I shouldn't want to imagine.
Gaëtane You SO want to kiss him! ^^
Maël Oh, stop it!
Gaëtane What? Isn't it true?
Maël It's your fault.
Gaëtane What?
Maël Your fault if I can't help thinking of it.
Gaëtane And you're very mad at me?
Maël It depends.
Gaëtane On what?
Maël I fail to determine if it's really completely your fault (all because of your influence) or if you only made me see something that would have escaped my notice otherwise.
Gaëtane Oh, Chouchou, I know I'm amazing (
), but do you really think I have the power to manipulate your feelings?
Maël Well, right now, I'm wondering...
Gaëtane No, come on, seriously ! You know I have no responsability in the matter.
Maël How can I be sure? You may be a witch.
Gaëtane
No, because if I were one 1) I would be at Beauxbâtons, not in that lousy school in which you're not even anymore, and 2) I could have taken a Portkey to go to your birthday party (and meet your chéri).
Maël (You don't think that word is a little exaggerated?)
Gaëtane (Not so much. ^^)
Maël Okay, no matter if it's your fault or not. What does matter is: what do I do now?
Gaëtane Well, you started talking to him about it, it's already a good thing. Now, you should specify that "going somewhere together" meant "going out" as in "a date".
Maël Couldn't I rather wait and see if it can look like one?
Gaëtane You mean "going somewhere" with him as usual and decide on the fly if you can confess you'd like to call it a date?
Maël Something like that.
Gaëtane Mhm... Oh, he must suspect it, anyway, don't you think?
Maël No idea. Although, after what I've just written, maybe he does.
Gaëtane What? What? What did you write?
Maël "Where we go doesn't really matter. I just want to spend some time with you, forget that I miss almost everyone I know in France and Belgium, and...see if I can still talk to you normally after what I wrote? Not that I want to pretend I never wrote anything of that kind."
Gaëtane Not bad...but still not clear enough!
Maël I know. But I can't really ask him directly if he wants to date me.
Gaëtane Generally, that's what people do, you know?
Maël Yes, but in this case, it's complicated.
Gaëtane And it would be simpler if you didn't have to leave in 6 months?
Maël Yes, there would be one less problem.
Gaëtane What are the others?
Maël That I would risk to end up thinking I'm not in my right mind and it must stop.
Gaëtane Just because he's not a girl?
Maël Well, yes. I know, it's stupid, but I'm not gay!
Gaëtane Right know, it doesn't look like you're not.
Maël
Gaëtane I mean you said "as if gender didn't matter" earlier, so...
Maël Right now, I don't mind. Later...how could I know?
Gaëtane If you see things that way, you can never know if your interest in someone will stay, anyway.
Maël No, but generally, it's the same for the two people involved. But in this case it's mostly on my side that there could be a problem. And I would feel so guilty if...
Gaëtane If you broke his heart?
Maël It's a little ridiculous, said that way, but yes, more or less.
Gaëtane You're cute. You would renounce to date him so you wouldn't risk to hurt him... You know it proves you really like him? Because otherwise your reasoning would be much more selfish.
Maël You can see it that way, I guess.
Gaëtane
Maël Stop it!
Gaëtane Sorry. Couldn't resist. Okay, you will have to ask him what he thinks!
Maël Yes, yes, I know.
Gaëtane Next time you're going to his place, you talk to him seriously without hiding anything, right?
Maël Uh...yes.
Gaëtane What? You think of things that are really unconfessable?
Maël You bet I wouldn't tell you that!
Gaëtane
Maël Zut, Gaëtane !
Gaëtane Okay, we'll see that later, when you two are an item.
Maël Because you're completely convinced it's going to happen?
Gaëtane Of course, I am! He likes you, you like him... The rest is just details!
Maël Easy to say when you're not involved.
Gaëtane I know. Oh, by the way, what about Kurt and Sam?
Maël Well, since Kurt left McKinley, I haven't had any opportunity to look for clues, you know!
Gaëtane Ah yes, damn! You never see him anymore?
Maël From time to time.
Gaëtane Next time you'll see them together, you'll watch carefully to see if there are still clues, right?
Maël I will. But Sam looks so fascinated by Quinn now (or maybe he's just good at pretending)... I wonder if I had not imagined the clues.
Gaëtane No no, you didn't!
Maël You don't know, you haven't seen them!
Gaëtane But for you to notice, it must have been obvious! ^^
Maël Also, Kurt has a gay friend at Dalton, so I don't know...
Gaëtane Well, you'll tell me if it changed something!
Maël If you want to...
Gaëtane Nothing else to tell me?
Maël I don't know... What could still be interesting to you after the astonishing news of the day?
Gaëtane Yes, that's the problem. But if there's news on the "who's dating who" front... It's like a TV show, you know? The kind in which everyone ends up having dated everyone (and half of them don't seem to remember it two seasons later).
Maël Yes, and that's as much like a French show as like an American one.
Gaëtane Stupid shows like the reruns of "Hélène et les garçons" on AB1, exactly!
(Or rather "Premiers baisers" since it's high school, not college.) Except that in those shows, there are no gays.
Maël Not in the main cast, at least.
Gaëtane Let's say "Coeur océan", then. You're Alex! ^^
Maël I can't deny it looks like it. BUT he had started with calling Nils a faggot, and obvioulsy I would NEVER have insulted Bryce like that.
Gaëtane Of course! But later... I'm still very frustrated that he's not in season 2, by the way.
Maël I know. And mad at the Italian channel that censored the "best parts", too.
Gaëtane Yeeees! Stupid Italians!
Maël You're dating an Italian, remember?
Gaëtane
Yes, but I hope he doesn't mind, otherwise I'm breaking up with him!
Maël Speaking of that, you won't tell him anything about me and Bryce, will you?
Gaëtane You fear he would be shocked?
Maël No (well, I'm not sure) but it's not necessary to let everybody know. Especially because technically, there's nothing to know.
Gaëtane Not yet...
Maël Not yet. And maybe never. But anyway, don't tell him.
Gaëtane And even if you date Bryce for the next six months, you plan to hide it from everyone ?
Maël Not from everyone. Not from you. But the others...we'll see. I haven't thought about it yet.
Gaëtane You would be ashamed?
Maël No! Well...I would fear they wouldn't understand, because even I find it hard to understand.
Gaëtane And you don't want to look like one you can't afford to look like. [Quoted from Kaamelott again: Léodagan - If the heads of clans arrive and there are no chicks, we'll look like- / Arthur - Like what? / Léodagan - Well, like people we can't afford to look like!]
Maël In a way, I don't care (except that in this school, it would be dangerous) but on the other hand, it's true it would bother me because well, I'm not gay! Not completely straight either, it seems, but dating Bryce would be enough for everyone to believe I've never been interested in girls, and it annoys me because it's not true. And now I wonder if Santana thinks the same (well, rather the contrary, in a way).
Gaëtane What?
Maël In the long list of people with who she "made things" (as you say), there's Brittany.
Gaëtane Oh! And am I allowed to point out that the comparison gives the impression that after all, you would consider adding Bryce to your way-less-long list, or are you going to tell me off?
Maël GAËTANE!
Gaëtane Tell me off, yes, just what I expected!
Anyway, I see what you mean. The problem is not that everybody would know you like a boy but only that they would have a wrong idea of what you are because they don't seem to realise that "bi" is a possibility.
Maël Something like that.
Gaëtane Yes, I know you think that even "bi" is exaggerated for you!
Maël Let's say it depends on the definition. If we decide that it's all the shades between "straight" and "gay", even the closest to each end, obviously... But it's not how I see it.
Gaëtane I could say that it's because you don't want to be forced to change the word you use to define yourself, but I will be kind and admit that I don't see it that way either.
Maël Am I supposed to thank you for that kindness?
Gaëtane Of course you are!
Maël Just to be contrary, I won't do it, then.
Gaëtane "Vous êtes un ingrat !" (Or: "un nain gras".
) ["Vous êtes un ingrat" ("You're ungrateful"): quoted from the musical Le Roi Soleil (the King's mother says that to the Prime Minister...who's rather short and fat in that version, hence the impression that she might as well say "vous êtes un nain gras" ("you're a fat dwarf"). It would be impossible to hear the difference.]
Maël (Not true: I'm neither short or fat!)
Gaëtane (Fat, no. Short, it depends on who you stand next to.)
Maël (Oh, of course, if you saw me next to Finn...)
Gaëtane (Still not made up with Rachel, has he?)
Maël (No. It's a very stupid matter.)
Gaëtane (Why are we talking in brackets?
)
Maël (Because it started with me replying to something you had put in brackets. But after a while, it becomes ridiculous, so let's forget it. (After that, do I close the bracket anyway or not?)
Gaëtane (YES! I can't stand to see an opening bracket and to look in vain for the closing one.) So you two still go to the movies or elsewhere together? (I mean you and Rachel, not Finn!
) Beware, because she might end up thinking you'd be a good substitute!
Maël (Fussy girl! Okay, here's the closing bracket: ). Better?) Yes, sometimes. (Of course, not Finn! Well, it's "friendly invitation" anyway but... Nevermind.) I don't think she thinks about that.
Gaëtane (Much better.) Yet, you're kind, cute and all that.
Maël Here, if you succeed in justifying the absence of a "If I were her...", you're talented!
Gaëtane Oh, zut !
Maël Speaking of movies, Sam and Quinn were there too when we went to see Narnia (again). We hadn't seen them when we arrived but only when we went out of the auditorium (singing the song of the closing credits because Rachel can't help singing all the time and we followed).
Gaëtane (And the other people didn't give you weird looks?
)
Maël (They did but well, we're used to it!)
Then we stayed with them for a while and at some point I started rambling with Sam like "pity we're too old to play with plastic swords and pretend we're Peter and Edmund"...
Gaëtane lol So childish!
Maël Remind me who had a "Susan dress" made for her?
Gaëtane Okay, let's pretend I didn't say anything.
Maël You should try to convince Andrea to dress up as Caspian!
Gaëtane Aw, yes!
(But I would be surprised if he accepted to wear that kind of clothes. Because the prince's costumes look a little...)
Maël (A little "sissy"?) Anyway, I was trying to tell you... "Sam-Peter and Maël-Edmund" rambling (I avoid writing "Sam-Peter/Maël-Edmund" because you have a dirty mind
)... Quinn laughs... It could be because she thinks we're terribly childish, too, but no.
Gaëtane (Yes. The frills and the embroderies...) Are you sure it wasn't for that reason too?
Maël A little earlier, maybe. But at that moment... I didn't understand when she said we wouldn't liked to be known as "kings of Narnia" to the whole school but hold on, here comes the explanation... You'll laugh too!
["Dramatic" pause.]
Gaëtane So?!
Maël It immediately becomes clearer if the existence of the expression "so far in the closet, he's King of Narnia" is mentioned.
Gaëtane
Priceless! Especially for you two. ^^
Maël I knew you would say something like that.
Gaëtane Too tempting. ^^ But how did you react? You found it amusing, right?
Maël Yes...almost. It would probably have seemed funnier to me before you perturbed me with your "you like Bryce" but still, if only because the expression is hilarious, I just laughed too.
Gaëtane And what about him?
Maël You're hoping for a clue?
Gaëtane Of course I do!
Maël No, I don't know... He may have had a little moment of shock when he understood what Quinn was alluding to but I wasn't paying much attention.
Gaëtane But MAËL! You were supposed to look for clues! You're really useless!
Maël Sorry if I had something else on my mind!
Gaëtane Moment of shock too... You two are really alike!
Maël It's possible. But I WON'T ask him questions to see up to what point our situations are comparable.
Gaëtane How did you guess I was about to suggest you to do that? ^^
Maël I know your curiosity...and your lack of tact.
Gaëtane Mais euh ! That's not kind!
Maël You said I was useless, that's my revenge!
Gaëtane Okay, I should go to bed (before it gets out of hand).
Maël Ah yes, damn, it must be very late for you!
Gaëtane Like the middle of the night, yes. I don't care since it's the break, but it wouldn't hurt me to get some sleep.
Maël Okay, go to bed, then. I'll keep you updated.
Gaëtane Yes, you must tell me everything about you and Bryce!
Maël Promise (I'm probably going to regret that sooner or later).
Gaëtane
(Most probably!)
Maël Goodnight!
Gaëtane
Maël
Gaëtane
and
Maël
Gaëtane