jesus christ
I attempted to convince myself he wouldn't show - in any case, it's not like I was wasting time waiting. Shelving carts full of books is never time wasted.
It was about 5:20 PM. I had already been working since 1 PM, and by then didn't really think he would show. I was on the fourth floor shelving in the RCs (medicine/physiology), listening obliviously to my headphones. I was checking the order of the call numbers of the books I just shelved. I looked up and saw him walking towards me, holy crap.
I stare for a couple of seconds and take off my headphones. I believe the first thing he said to me was "Is this weird?" All of a sudden it seemed like twenty thousand people thought the fourth floor of the Science Library would be the best place to be right now, and made the place suddenly crowded.
"I didn't think you'd come. And now that you're here I don't know what to do."
"Yeah, me neither."
So we just stood there and talked quietly and pretty awkwardly for ten minutes. About, like, my work schedule, the call number system, and what music I was listening to. He thinks the Library of Congress call system makes no sense, I said I can find him almost any book in the library within five minutes. He said, "Well, we use a different system in Sweden." I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, of course you do." Three out of four of the bands and musicians I mentioned he didn't recognize, the fourth (David Bowie) he said he didn't particularly like. I looked away at the floor a lot. Some dumb grad student thought right then would be the best time to walk in between us standing there, repeatedly, back and forth to and from his study carrel for whatever reason. His voice was too quiet there for me to notice any accents or inflections.
After a while he said, "Well. I guess I should let you get back to shelving. It was nice finally meeting you in person."
I asked him whether I met with his approval.
He got this sort of smirk on his face, looked at me sort of strangely, and said, so quietly, "Oh yes."
And waved goodbye with his sunglasses. Not with his sunglasses in hand, but with the sunglasses themselves.
After he left the floor I went to the bathroom and stood in one of the stalls for a while with my head against the wall for ten minutes. Jesus fucking Christ, what?
Was that the way I wanted that to go? What would I have preferred?
I don't know.
I wonder whether he was being sincere - do I really meet with his approval? Now that he's seen my face apart from the photo I sent months ago, now that he's heard my voice and encountered my nervous habit of avoiding eye contact - will he still want to fuck me?
We'll see.
It was about 5:20 PM. I had already been working since 1 PM, and by then didn't really think he would show. I was on the fourth floor shelving in the RCs (medicine/physiology), listening obliviously to my headphones. I was checking the order of the call numbers of the books I just shelved. I looked up and saw him walking towards me, holy crap.
I stare for a couple of seconds and take off my headphones. I believe the first thing he said to me was "Is this weird?" All of a sudden it seemed like twenty thousand people thought the fourth floor of the Science Library would be the best place to be right now, and made the place suddenly crowded.
"I didn't think you'd come. And now that you're here I don't know what to do."
"Yeah, me neither."
So we just stood there and talked quietly and pretty awkwardly for ten minutes. About, like, my work schedule, the call number system, and what music I was listening to. He thinks the Library of Congress call system makes no sense, I said I can find him almost any book in the library within five minutes. He said, "Well, we use a different system in Sweden." I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, of course you do." Three out of four of the bands and musicians I mentioned he didn't recognize, the fourth (David Bowie) he said he didn't particularly like. I looked away at the floor a lot. Some dumb grad student thought right then would be the best time to walk in between us standing there, repeatedly, back and forth to and from his study carrel for whatever reason. His voice was too quiet there for me to notice any accents or inflections.
After a while he said, "Well. I guess I should let you get back to shelving. It was nice finally meeting you in person."
I asked him whether I met with his approval.
He got this sort of smirk on his face, looked at me sort of strangely, and said, so quietly, "Oh yes."
And waved goodbye with his sunglasses. Not with his sunglasses in hand, but with the sunglasses themselves.
After he left the floor I went to the bathroom and stood in one of the stalls for a while with my head against the wall for ten minutes. Jesus fucking Christ, what?
Was that the way I wanted that to go? What would I have preferred?
I don't know.
I wonder whether he was being sincere - do I really meet with his approval? Now that he's seen my face apart from the photo I sent months ago, now that he's heard my voice and encountered my nervous habit of avoiding eye contact - will he still want to fuck me?
We'll see.