Satoshi + friendship = FFFFFFF

May 16, 2010 02:19

So yeah, this might get long. I have a lot to essay on.

Okay, I'll say it right off the bat: Satoshi has issues with social situations. Really, in canon Satoshi hasn't had very much normal human contact. By the current time in canon, Satoshi has lived a very isolated and lonely life. In canon he's said to have been 'alone' for at least ten years, if not more. And then, two years before the present, he moved out to the middle of nowhere and has lived by himself ever since. It was out of necessity, to be fair, since several military powers were like "oh lol living weapon let's capture him," but still.

And actually, the two years of being hounded by the military have made him a generally distrustful person. He's friendly about it, to be sure, but he doesn't accept people into his life too quickly. Hell, Grimm was the first person he ever saw as a friend, and that took quite a bit of effort on Grimm's part to get. Satoshi knows that there are a lot of people out there who want to use him for their own means, and because of that he is very wary of trusting people too much. He knows just how dangerous he can be, and he doesn't want to be put in a situation where he's forced to use his powers in a way he doesn't agree with.

A good indication of how much Satoshi trusts a character is actually through his language. He will not say the word 'friends' about someone except under three circumstances:

1: he trusts that person very, VERY much.

2: that person has been vouched for by someone in group 1, in which case he is willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

3: something about that person draws Satoshi in, making him trust that person when he normally wouldn't.

Now, if other people call him a friend, he won't correct them. He's too polite for that. He just won't call them a friend back. And he might say something like "we could be friends, I think." That doesn't count either. What counts is him saying "you are my friend" or "[insert name here] is my friend." Also, he will only admit to true weaknesses around someone he trusts not to exploit those weaknesses. The recent plot has a perfect example of this: Satoshi was infected by the virus, and he has been feeling like absolute shit ever since then. It's to the point where he just wants to curl up in blankets and hide until he gets better. But he has only admitted that to a few people: he still gets up and acts like everything is fine to everyone else.

Satoshi has actually been opening up a lot more at camp, too. He's been here for over a year, and in that time very few truly bad things have happened to him. In a way, he's become more comfortable with camp and everyone here. He's still distrustful of a lot of people, of course: newcomers get a scrutinizing eye, and anyone wearing anything that looks even remotely like a military uniform is kept at a safe distance. But in recent months he has been making friends a lot more quickly, because it's become a lot easier to trust people. With nothing bad happening, he's kind of lowered his guard a bit.

OKAY NOW FOR SPECIFIC PEOPLE.

Yuta was one of Satoshi's very first camp friends, and he's actually the only one of his first group of friends who's still here in camp. Initially, Satoshi was able to trust Yuta because of Yuta's powers. Satoshi felt that Yuta understood Satoshi pretty well, since they both had tough lives because of their powers. That strange kind of bond is what led Satoshi to trust Yuta, and he's seen Yuta as a friend ever since. And it probably helps that Yuta looks a LOT like Grimm, so much so that he was like a Grimm substitute for a while during Satoshi's first couple of months in camp. Oops. BUT YEAH Yuta is a special friend and will always be and fun stuff like that. Also he's definitely in category 1 above: Satoshi was friendly with Yuta for the first few weeks, but he didn't actually trust Yuta until they had talked enough for Satoshi to see that Yuta was a good kid with no ill-intentions. IIRC he didn't find out about Yuta's powers until after that.

Vanya is another really good friend of Satoshi's. She actually fits into category 3 up above: when Satoshi met Vanya, Vanya told him about how her family didn't like her and how she was going to grow up to be a terrible person. Satoshi went "D: WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY THAT" and basically adopted Vanya as a friend/kind-of-sister right there. He could see so much of what he went through in what Vanya had to live, and he remembered what it was like to have nobody to rely on, and he didn't want Vanya to live a life like that. Now he's made it his duty to do fun stuff with Vanya and help her have a good life so she can be happy. Also it's worth noting that this happened fairly recently and well after Satoshi had started trusting people more. If Satoshi had met Vanya right when he had entered camp, he might not have trusted her so easily. Her crummy life would have still pinged him a lot and made him consider it, though.

...Actually let's just put that as another reason he trusts people: really shitty lives that Satoshi can identify with.

ANYWAY now it's time for Fon. Fon is super duper special because there are ~*~feelings~*~ involved that are way different, but I'll get to that in a moment. Satoshi actually met Fon during the whole Masque thing, and he met Fon through Yuta. At that point Yuta was his #1 buddy, so hearing Yuta go "Yeah trust this guy" made Satoshi go "OKAY WE'RE FRIENDS NOW :DDDDD" So yeah, definitely group 2. But Fon also earned Satoshi's trust really quickly because of what happened during the Masque event. Satoshi made some really bad choices, choices that haunt him even to this day, and Fon was one of the people who saw him at what he considers to be his worst (long story short: Satoshi put the value of one person's life over several others, which is something he actually would do but proved to be very very Bad in that situation. But that's an essay for another day). But besides the initial 'what the hell are you doing' moment, Fon didn't ever use that against Satoshi, which made Satoshi respect Fon very much in a very quick fashion. Not taking advantage of Satoshi = a good way to be friends with Satoshi. LOL WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED?

BUT YES special feelings. I guess I should preface this by saying that Satoshi really, REALLY doesn't understand romance at all. On some level, he does kind of get it: you have feelings for your friends, and you have different feelings for boyfriends/girlfriends. That isn't too difficult for him. But he doesn't really understand why it's so complicated or why everyone talks about it like it's a Big Deal. To him, it's just like being friends, except you get to hug a lot more and kissing is apparently okay. (Yes Fon, that's your fault for him thinking that.)

Actually, a lot of Satoshi's relationship with Fon can be summed up by 'this is different.' Satoshi knows Yuta has problems, but he doesn't press the issue that much: he's just chill and lets Yuta do whatever, as long as they get to keep being friends. But Satoshi knows that Fon has issues and instead of just letting it go he thinks "omg D: I MUST HELP HIM SOMEHOW". And then things get worse, and Satoshi has to sit on his hands. But still, the intent is there, and it's different then with other people. He hasn't quite gotten the implications of it, and he hasn't really considered the fact that Fon could just end up not liking him in return (pro-tip: he would be crushed about that but not realize WHY. sob why are you a such a derp Satoshi). But that's actually secondary to Fon's issues right now, because he figures that the whole 'what do we do about these special feelings' thing will come after that anyway.

...actually, speaking of Fon's issues: Satoshi is eternally frustrated with the fact that Fon is bothered by being created instead of born. He sees no problem with it, and he wishes that Fon would just relax and realize it's what he does with his life, not how he's born, that matters. And he'll actually probably say that at some point, if they get into an argument about it again. It's just taken him a bit of time to find the right words.

ANYWAY BACK ON TOPIC. ...which I've completely drifted off anyway. WELL BACK TO FRIENDSHIPS. Satoshi is a super-chill guy who almost never gets angry. Messing with his friends is the one sure-fire way to piss him off. To Satoshi, friends are a very special and magical thing. Those bonds are the most important thing in his life, hands-down. At this point, saving the whole world is secondary: if he had to use his powers to save the world, it would be because he wanted to save his friends.

You see, he never realized just how lonely his life was until he actually had friends. Looking back on it now, he could very easily go "Jesus that time in my life sucked, how did I go so long without a single friend?" This is why he has been on edge for the last couple of months: he thinks Fon is angry at him for the whole 'I don't care how you were born' talk they had a while back, and he thinks Yuta is mad about the whole death thing, and those are two of the most important people in his lives right there. If they ended up hating him for the respective problems, Satoshi would be very sad and lonesome. It's why he's been backing off from arguments with them. In his mind, if he gives up the argument, then they can't get mad at him, so they can't leave him.

...oh god this got long. UH. ANYWAY. Basically friends are important to him because his life used to suck and he would do anything for them. Also romance is weird. At some point I should just make an essay of 'things Satoshi does not understand' or something.

I MIGHT ADD MORE IF I THINK ABOUT IT but idk I need to drink something now.

ooc, essay

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