yesterday: party at lucas' so much fun, minus my headache which kept me quiet all day. i barely spoke! shit! oh well! i loved seeing them. we might all be going to the beach on tuesday, but i dont know if im up for it...we'll see!
im officially broken. today after practice i got in the car and just went silent. completely still. didn't move. didn't talk. just drove. i haven't spoken since. i cant even put into words how much this hurts. i really just want to die...more than ever.
**i find the need to be a demon, a demon cannot be hurt**