logic vs emotion
and because making myself cry at work is fun?
Anyway. We still haven't found her. I'm starting to think we won't. We put up signs and i posted an ad on petfinder, but...it's a big world, and she's a tiny ferret.
I'm still full of self-hate. I know it was an 'accident' but it was also a completley preventable one. One that, had I been even remotely thinking, wouldn't have happened. So, yes. I hold myself completely responsible for what happened to her. and it sucks, but... c'est la vie.
So I'm trying to convince Bright to go to Vegas with me to get a kit. Logically, I know this is not the proper solution, but it will make me feel better, and distract me sufficiently that I can get over my self-loathing and move on with my life. I want to go now, but he wants to wait =P obviously, he does not understand the depth of my self-hate.
While I hope she'll show up, I doubt that will be the case. There's so much that could've happened to her (I've made myself almost sick thinking about all the possibilities - damn my vivid imagination), but I like to think someone kind found her (like we found Mace) and is taking care of her.
And now I am crying, so back to work I go.